See all LastWeekTonight transcripts on Youtube

youtube thumbnail

GOP - Hashtag Awesomesauce: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

36 seconds

🇬🇧 English

S1

Speaker 1

00:00

I don't like it when people tell me what to do, like, you should buy health care, or don't carry a concealed weapon into this park, or, hey, that leather jacket is way too small for you. I can make my own decisions. Listen, do I think we should streamline the income tax by establishing just 2 brackets? Cha.

S1

Speaker 1

00:16

Standard deductions are boom shakalaka. Who has time to itemize anything between ironically riding a tricycle to ping pong league and having non-vaginal intercourse with girls they met at Christian summer camp? Get real, government. I'm a Republican because I believe you don't get jobs giving handouts.

S1

Speaker 1

00:30

You get out by giving hand jobs. Wait!