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Speaker 1

00:00

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Sex education. The conversation that animals in zoos refuse to let you not have. Now, with some kids going back to school next week, it is guaranteed that at some point over the next school year, you'll hear stories like this.

Speaker 2

00:17

Local parents are outraged tonight over the pictures that their children saw in sex ed class.

Speaker 3

00:23

Some parents say that the material, which includes descriptions of sex acts and infections, is simply too graphic for middle schoolers.

Speaker 4

00:32

A father is upset after his 13-year-old showed him a poster hanging on a classroom door, a poster listing sex acts.

Speaker 1

00:39

Parental anger over sex, Ed, is as much a staple of the school year as square pizza and 1 kid coming back from summer vacation with a mustache he's way too proud of. That's a ghost mustache, Lewis. It looks like a real mustache dyed on your face.

Speaker 1

00:55

So... So we tried this week to find out what sex ed looks like in America right now. But that turns out to be a surprisingly difficult question to answer. Now in the past, depending on how old you are, sex education may have been little more than watching films like this.

Speaker 5

01:12

Every so often I get a strong sex urge, and the only way I can take care of it is to masturbate.

Speaker 6

01:18

George, I'm really pleased that you can tell me about this. Perhaps it's because we've known each other for so long.

Speaker 7

01:23

My name is Johnny Stanton. For me, it all started when I went bowling with Judy today. I should have known something was different as soon as she got a strike.

Speaker 1

01:33

-♪♪

Speaker 7

01:35

She's usually such a rotten bowler. So what's so different about you?

Speaker 8

01:39

I got my first period today.

Speaker 7

01:41

Well, what's the big deal?

Speaker 8

01:43

It means that blood is flowing out of my uterus. Oh.

Speaker 9

01:52

What? What? Okay, okay. Okay.

Speaker 9

01:56

First,

Speaker 1

01:56

that is some incredible misinformation. Menstrual blood is not some sort of uterine HGH that makes you amazing at bowling. And second, and this is true, the young man in that video is Jonathan Banks, Mike from Breaking Bad.

Speaker 1

02:13

And if that video, If that video does not provide the basis for the prequel to Better Call Saul, I'm gonna be extremely disappointed. -... Teaching sex ed in schools is really important for obvious reasons. No parent wants to talk to their kids about sex, And no kid wants to talk about sex with their parents.

Speaker 1

02:33

That is why, when you're watching a movie together and there's a sex scene, everyone becomes motionless and silently begs for the merciful release of death. --LAUGHTER --CROWD GROANS And kids have good questions that need good answers. The Times recently ran an article with a slideshow of questions kids wrote on cards to a sex educator, including, why is the boy's penis shaped like an arrow? Is it okay to be gay?

Speaker 1

02:57

And how long do I have to wait to have sex? I'm excited. To which the answers are, it's engorged with blood, yes, and can you at least wait until the end of class? But perhaps the most poignant question was, will this go well for me?

Speaker 1

03:15

Because after looking into sex ed programs this week, the answer depends quite a bit on where you live. There is no required standard for sex ed in this country. In fact, only 22 states mandate that kids receive it, and only 13 require that the information presented be medically accurate, which is crazy. You wouldn't accept a history class not being historically accurate.

Speaker 1

03:38

Prince started the American Revolution in 1984, and his purple reign lasts until the present day. Class dismissed. -♪ ♪ -♪ We essentially have a weird patchwork system that varies wildly, and not just from state to state, but from district to district, and even from school to school. In fact, 1 Ohio newscast tried to find out what kids in their area were learning, and hit a brick wall.

Speaker 10

04:02

The state has no, absolutely none, sex ed guidelines, so each school district decides what's best for whatever kid.

Speaker 11

04:09

Many school districts don't want to talk about it at all. UC students polled every school district in 4 southwest Ohio counties. The majority wouldn't tell us what they teach and when they teach it, even though all of this is supposed to be public information.

Speaker 1

04:25

And that's really not good, because 2 teenagers shouldn't have completely different levels of sex ed just because they're in 2 different school districts. Tonight's football game is between Lakewood High and Middletown High. Not only are they bitter rivals, 1 of those teams has no idea what a diaphragm is.

Speaker 1

04:41

Let's play ball! Let's play ball! But While it is hard to find out what kids are learning, in some cases, it is possible to find out what they are not learning. For instance, in Mississippi, while you can talk about contraceptives, the law prohibits condom demonstrations in class.

Speaker 1

04:57

That means no condom on a banana, no condom on a cucumber, no condom on a zucchini. And that's terrible, partly because it's fun putting condoms on produce. -...but mainly because Mississippi ranks number 2 in the country in teen pregnancy rates. Now, Thankfully, this situation has inspired some creative alternatives.

Speaker 1

05:19

Watch this former teacher describe how to use a condom without directly using a condom.

Speaker 12

05:24

I start with a sock, and I'm gonna pinch out the air out of the tip of the sock, because I want to make sure

Speaker 13

05:30

that there's

Speaker 12

05:30

room for my toes when I'm engaging in a shoe activity. Then I take the sock and I put it on top of my foot. You want to take your sock and you want to roll it all the way down your foot.

Speaker 12

05:41

You want to roll it all the way down your foot, and then you can put it inside your shoe.

Speaker 1

05:45

-♪

Speaker 13

05:45

000000...

Speaker 1

05:46

♪

Speaker 9

05:46

-That is very clever. That's very clever, although... Although...

Speaker 9

05:52

That's...

Speaker 1

05:53

It's not perfect. You know, if you can't get a sock out of the packaging, you don't then lose your foot for a minute and need to think of Rihanna to get it back. But...

Speaker 1

06:01

It's back. But, but Mississippi's restrictions are just the beginning here. In 8 states, there are laws considerably limiting what teachers can say about homosexuality to their students. Meaning, the answer to that kid's question, is it okay to be gay, could be a shrug or a lot worse.

Speaker 1

06:19

And Utah's law prohibits any instruction in the intricacies of intercourse, for reasons that 1 state legislator explained.

Speaker 5

06:27

Those are the things we do not want

Speaker 6

06:29

to be taught in our schools. Those are things that should be taught in your home.

Speaker 1

06:33

Wait. Taught in your home? Here is an exchange that has never happened. How are you so good at sex?

Speaker 1

06:40

I was home-schooled. And... And... And In certain districts around the country, the only sex ed you might receive is abstinence only, which you may think of as a relic of the past, but it is still very much around.

Speaker 1

06:55

Congress recently increased federal funding for abstinence only education from about 50 to 75 million dollars per year. And at least part of that money gets matched by the states. Which means that students are still being exposed to abstinence-centered programs. But with names like WAIT, which stands for Why Am I Tempted?

Speaker 1

07:15

GO APE, or Abstinence Protects Everyone. And no screwing around, which I presume stands for, no 1 should copulate regularly except wedded individuals, now reach around occasionally, ultimately not disastrous. And... And Here is a taste of a video from that last program.

Speaker 10

07:34

If you have sex outside of 1 permanent monogamous, and monogamy does not mean 1 at a time, that means 1 partner who has only been with you. You have sex outside of that context, and you will pay. Boys, if there's a girl throwing herself at you, if she's the 1 pressuring you for sex, if this is a girl that's dressing in that manner, that's saying not only to you, but the rest of the world, take me now, I got a little word of advice for you.

Speaker 10

08:00

Run from this girl. Run! I did not say walk away slowly. I said run from her!

Speaker 1

08:05

In fact, don't even bother running, boys. Just cut your dicks off. -♪ ♪ -♪ Girls are snake charmers, and it's time to murder your snakes.

Speaker 1

08:13

Murder them now. Do it! Do it! And look, abstinence is a healthy choice that many teens will make, either by choice, or, as I can attest, by circumstance.

Speaker 9

08:25

But, but, but that's not the point. That's not the point.

Speaker 1

08:28

It should not be the only thing you teach. And not just because many studies question its efficacy, the fact is, according to the CDC, most Americans have more than 1 sexual partner in their lifetime, and the average age at which people begin having sex is around 17. So just saying, don't do it, is not practical.

Speaker 1

08:49

And even when they do teach sex ed, schools can teach it with a strong bias. We found a company which offers schools 2 versions of the same video on contraception. Version B is labeled as being non-judgmental. Take a look.

Speaker 14

09:04

Look, no 1 ever said being a teenager is easy.

Speaker 15

09:08

You have to face a lot of important decisions.

Speaker 4

09:11

But no decision is probably more important than

Speaker 14

09:13

the 1 you'll make about becoming sexually active.

Speaker 16

09:16

Some of you may already be sexually active.

Speaker 14

09:18

But still, a lot of you are not having sex yet. You could be waiting for marriage, the right person, or maybe you're just not ready to take on this very serious responsibility right now. Cool.

Speaker 1

09:32

Those... Those, Those 30-year-old actors dressed like teenagers from the 90s make some very good points. However... However, version A, which is non-nonjudgmental, goes in a slightly different direction.

Speaker 1

09:46

See if you can spot it.

Speaker 14

09:48

Look, no 1 ever said being a teenager is easy.

Speaker 15

09:52

You have to face a lot of important decisions.

Speaker 4

09:55

But no decision is probably more important than

Speaker 14

09:57

the 1 you'll make about becoming sexually active. As a teenager, you're expected to wait until you're married before you become sexually active.

Speaker 16

10:05

Until then, abstinence is the only option that's acceptable to your family, your school, and your community.

Speaker 1

10:13

Well, hold on. Why did they even keep the first part about it being a decision at all? They should have just said, no decision is more non-existent than the 1 you don't get to make about sex.

Speaker 1

10:24

Also, remember, God is watching you masturbate, and the fluids coming out of your genitals are actually his tears. -...you're making him sad. -... -...but the very fact...

Speaker 1

10:35

-...whoo! ...2 videos with the same title, but very different messages exist, shows just how hard it can be to find out what's going on with Sex Ed where you live. And this is not even accounting for guest speakers that schools can bring in to augment their program. Remember the woman from No Screwing Around?

Speaker 1

10:53

That's Pam Stenzel, and her website claims she speaks to half a million young people each year. Presumably, like this.

Speaker 2

11:00

Here's the line over which you can't step. Absolutely no genital contact of any kind. That's hand to genital, mouth to genital, genital to genital.

Speaker 2

11:16

Oral sex, which is mouth to genital, is sex. And if you have ever stepped over this line, you've risked disease and you need to get tested, and don't you dare! Don't you dare tell anyone you're a virgin!

Speaker 1

11:32

Why... Why are you trying to yell the horniness out of teenagers? --HARD LAUGHTER --Pro... Programs like hers are so relentlessly anti-sex, you could easily come away thinking the adult world is just an endless barrage of unwanted dicks, which, incidentally, was the original slogan for Tinder.

Speaker 1

11:51

But... But... But the problem is... The problem is, Stenzel is not alone.

Speaker 1

11:58

Shelley Donoghue currently speaks at schools around the country. She likes to show the dangers of more than 1 sexual partner by describing women as a piece of tape, and then sticking the tape to the arms of multiple boys until this happens.

Speaker 17

12:11

How many partners do we have before we get married on average in America? 6, Yeah. So can you imagine what's gonna start to happen to the tape?

Speaker 17

12:18

It's gonna lose its bonding power.

Speaker 1

12:22

Her point is the tape is used so much it becomes damaged. Which doesn't even consider the possibility that the tape might be perfectly happy and have had a good time or that maybe some guys like tape that already knows how to stick when they meet them. But...

Speaker 1

12:37

But this idea that sex is something which devalues those who've had it, particularly women, crops up again and again. Non-virgins can be likened to a used toothbrush or a chewed up piece of gum. And then, there is this video, in which a non-virgin on her wedding night is compared to a dirty shoe.

Speaker 18

12:57

Michelle, what are these? My sneakers.

Speaker 5

13:01

But Michelle, what is this? This... It looks like the entire football team has been in these things.

Speaker 13

13:06

I mean...

Speaker 2

13:06

I made them all wear socks.

Speaker 5

13:08

Socks? Michelle, socks don't protect my heart. You can still get foot fungus with socks.

Speaker 2

13:14

I wish I could go back in time and make a commitment to be abstinent until marriage.

Speaker 1

13:19

That is heartbreaking. And not just because he's shaming his wife, but because, Michelle, socks don't protect my heart, might be the funniest line ever delivered on this show, and we didn't write it. -♪ I'm a woman...

Speaker 1

13:32

♪ -And that kind of message can be hugely damaging to anyone who hears it, especially survivors of sexual assault, like Elizabeth Smart, who was kidnapped and assaulted at the age of 14. And you may recognize 1 of the metaphors she remembers 1 of her teachers using.

Speaker 19

13:49

She said, imagine you're a stick of gum, and when you engage in sex, that's like getting chewed. And then if you do that lots of times, you're gonna become an old piece of gum. And who's going to want you after that?

Speaker 19

14:05

Well, that's... Terrible, but... Nobody should ever say that. But for me, I thought, oh my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum.

Speaker 1

14:17

Learning nothing would have been better than learning that. It's not a great reflection on her teacher that kids who were sick that day got a better education than she did. And the sad thing is, sex ed, when done well, can do so much good.

Speaker 1

14:31

But when it's done badly, it can do real harm. Take consent. A recent survey found college students were confused about certain aspects of it. For instance, when asked whether another person undressing, getting a condom, or nodding, established consent for more sexual activity, at least 40% said yes, and at least 40% said no.

Speaker 1

14:50

And that ambiguity is a problem, because sex is like boxing. If both people didn't fully agree to participate, 1 of them is committing a crime. And abstinence-heavy messages do not help this. They spend so much time on the importance of saying no, they can leave out what informed, enthusiastic consent looks like, or even worse, suggest that it's all 1 party's responsibility.

Speaker 1

15:14

Like in this video from a program called Sex Smart, about fending off unwanted advances.

Speaker 18

15:20

Maybe we should have sex, you know, to

Speaker 20

15:22

prove our love for each other.

Speaker 21

15:23

Do you really think we're ready?

Speaker 18

15:25

Yeah, I'm ready.

Speaker 21

15:26

Oops, that didn't work.

Speaker 20

15:30

For each other.

Speaker 18

15:31

No. Does that mean no or yes?

Speaker 21

15:35

1 more try. This time, say it like you mean it.

Speaker 13

15:39

You're not going to kiss me?

Speaker 20

15:41

For each other.

Speaker 21

15:42

No way. Finally.

Speaker 18

15:46

Maybe we should just get to the concert.

Speaker 1

15:48

Wait, wait. They were already late for a concert, but he felt there was still time to have sex? That is a teenage boy with a very accurate sense of his abilities.

Speaker 1

16:00

But, But much, much more to the point here. Much more to the point. It's good that that girl was being taught that she has the power to say no, but nowhere in the video did they point out that that guy should have been a lot better at hearing it. And it is weird to gloss over something so appalling.

Speaker 1

16:17

It's like that moment in Greece when Kenickie sang, ♪ Tell me more, tell me more Did she put up a fight? ♪ That's the point, they should have stopped the whole song and gone, wait, what the f*** did you just say? What is wrong with you, Kenickie? What is wrong?

Speaker 1

16:31

You're a monster, and you look 40! And when kids graduate high school without a full understanding of consent, you are abetting an already troubling culture where a bunch of frat guys can march around Yale feeling completely comfortable yelling out this.

Speaker 6

16:50

Yo, bitch, yes! Yes, we

Speaker 13

16:52

take her!

Speaker 6

16:52

Yo, bitch, yes! Yes, we take her! Yo, bitch, yes!

Speaker 6

16:56

Yes, we take her!

Speaker 1

16:58

Just a quick reminder there, Yale's acceptance rate is 6.3 percent. So, who the fuck are they turning down? I would hate to hear their chants.

Speaker 1

17:08

And the problem is that is not an isolated incident. Last year, fraternities at both Texas Tech and LSU were caught using the same slogan. It's become something you hear on college campuses as often as, I'm thinking of switching majors, or, why is James Franco here? And...

Speaker 1

17:25

And here is the thing. There is no way we'd allow any other academic program to consistently fail to prepare students for life after school. And human sexuality, unlike calculus, is something you actually need to know about for the rest of your life. And maybe you and your family live somewhere that has good sex ed, in which case, congratulations.

Speaker 1

17:47

But if you don't, this video is for you.

Speaker 22

17:54

Look, no 1 ever said being a teenager is easy.

Speaker 18

17:57

You have to face a lot of important decisions.

Speaker 23

17:59

But no decision is probably more important

Speaker 13

18:01

than the 1 you'll make about becoming sexually active.

Speaker 18

18:04

And if you do, there's a few things you should definitely know. This is a penis. This is a vagina.

Speaker 18

18:13

This is a mouth. This is a hand.

Speaker 23

18:15

And this is a butt.

Speaker 8

18:17

You can mix as many of these as you feel comfortable with. Hand and mouth would be weird, but you could. This

Speaker 23

18:25

is the clitoris.

Speaker 13

18:26

And these are the testicles. They make sperm. That's pretty much it.

Speaker 18

18:32

If you want to be abstinent, that's fine.

Speaker 13

18:34

If you don't want to be abstinent, that's also fine.

Speaker 18

18:37

Abstinence is like being a vegetarian.

Speaker 22

18:40

People should respect your choice.

Speaker 18

18:42

Some people might make fun of you.

Speaker 8

18:43

Those people are assholes.

Speaker 18

18:47

The best safeguard against STDs is protection. Unless you already have an STD, in which case you're going to need medicine or some shit.

Speaker 13

18:54

I don't know.

Speaker 7

18:55

Fun fact!

Speaker 8

18:56

The ancient Egyptians put crocodile dung mixed with honey inside a vagina to prevent pregnancy. They're all dead now.

Speaker 22

19:03

Here's how you put a condom on a banana.

Speaker 8

19:07

Oh, this is a lot less curvy than I'm used to.

Speaker 1

19:09

-♪♪♪♪

Speaker 18

19:12

This is an IUD. An IUD goes inside a woman's body and prevents pregnancy from taking place.

Speaker 13

19:17

They can stay inside you for up to 10 years.

Speaker 18

19:20

Which is a lot, considering most guys in high school can only stay inside you for a minute or 2 tops. All right. Here's a bunch of other forms of birth control.

Speaker 18

19:29

Google them!

Speaker 22

19:32

This is actually simple. If someone doesn't want to have sex with you, don't have sex with them.

Speaker 23

19:38

If you think you might be able to persuade someone to have sex, even though they don't want to, don't.

Speaker 8

19:44

So If you're not sure if someone wants

Speaker 13

19:46

to have sex with you, ask. Even if you're kind of sure, still ask.

Speaker 18

19:51

If someone is pretty drunk, they might not be able to give consent.

Speaker 23

19:54

And remember, you can always say no.

Speaker 13

19:57

Even halfway through, you can say no.

Speaker 18

20:00

If someone wants you to do a sex thing you're not comfortable with, you have the right to refuse. Say, I don't care if it's your birthday, Rebecca,

Speaker 7

20:06

I don't want you to put your finger in my

Speaker 12

20:08

butt! Okay?

Speaker 7

20:09

Tell me you're talking about this!

Speaker 8

20:11

Real quick, couple final things.

Speaker 18

20:13

Most people will get HPV. Is both technically true. And what you tend to hear right before someone gives you HPV.

Speaker 23

20:19

If you call it a hoo-ha, you are not ready for sex. Lube

Speaker 22

20:24

is your friend. Believe me.

Speaker 23

20:26

If you get a chance to have sex with this man, go for it.

Speaker 18

20:31

The best safe word is poop nanny.

Speaker 22

20:33

A woman who's had sex is not like a

Speaker 6

20:35

dirty shoe. A woman who's

Speaker 1

20:35

had sex is not like a dirty shoe.

Speaker 8

20:36

A woman who's had sex is like a... A shoe with laces.

Speaker 13

20:40

Completely f***ing normal.

Speaker 6

20:42

And finally, and this is important, If anyone ever tells you that getting your period makes

Speaker 13

21:00

you