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Speaker 1

00:00

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ We thought we'd take a look at something that will already be underway once we get back, and that is the census. The only reason to open the door for a stranger, unless he tells you he has candy in his van. In that case, you've got to see what he's offering, right? What if he has fudge?

Speaker 1

00:19

The census is a long-standing American tradition, and every decade, the government rolls out eye-catching TV ads to encourage participation, like this 1 from 1980. ♪

Speaker 2

00:29

In 80 million mailboxes across the USA ♪ ♪ The censuses are coming to help us plan the way ♪ ♪ To show us where

Speaker 3

00:38

we're going so that we can understand ♪ ♪ What's needed for the future, the future of our land

Speaker 1

00:45

♪ -♪

Speaker 3

00:45

Can we count on you? ♪ -♪ You can count on me.

Speaker 1

00:48

♪ -♪

Speaker 3

00:48

Can we count on you?

Speaker 1

00:48

-♪

Speaker 3

00:48

You can count on me. -♪ Can we count on you?

Speaker 1

00:51

-♪ You can count on me. Come on. Okay.

Speaker 1

00:54

First, I'll say this, that is a beautiful song. I mean, it's no eat shit bop, but frankly, what is? And second, and more importantly, can we actually count on you, Mickey? It's 1980, you're in a tuxedo in the middle of the day, and your pupils are the size of personal pan pizzas.

Speaker 1

01:11

We all know what that means, Mick. You've been baking with booger sugar, pork in the raw diller, riding the White Rail Express to Blomaha. What I'm trying to say here is, Mickey Mouse has a really serious cocaine problem. Listen, I'm just stating a fact.

Speaker 1

01:25

A Disney fact. Ha-ha! The concept...

Speaker 3

01:30

The concept

Speaker 1

01:30

of the census is very simple. At the start of each decade, the government does a comprehensive count of every single person residing in the United States. Not just citizens, not just voters, every single person.

Speaker 1

01:41

Because only by knowing how many people live where, can communities effectively plan to provide things like roads, schools, and emergency services. And it's usually conducted through mail-in forms, sometimes supplemented by in-person interviews, as this training film for the 1940 census shows.

Speaker 4

01:58

Now, What are the names of the other persons living here with you, Mrs. McGee?

Speaker 5

02:03

Well, there's me and my husband, William H. And our 2 sons, John J. And William H.

Speaker 5

02:10

Jr.

Speaker 4

02:11

We have to count babies also. Are there any babies here?

Speaker 5

02:15

No, Not anymore.

Speaker 1

02:19

What? What did you say? What kind of weird fucking answer is that? I'm calling it right now.

Speaker 1

02:26

That woman ate her baby. That is a fact. That is a Disney fact. And however hard counting every single person seems, it's actually much harder.

Speaker 1

02:39

Because some groups can be particularly tricky to count, including children, those living in remote areas, homeless people, and of course, the Olsen twin. Now, they will tell... I've been clear on this. They will tell you that there are 2 of them, but 1 of them is lying.

Speaker 1

02:53

So... So, to accomplish all of this, the government opens 250 regional offices, hires around half a million temporary workers, and mails notifications to over 140 million households. Conducting the census is the largest and most complicated peacetime operation that the government undertakes. And the 2020 census is likely to be even more challenging than usual for reasons ranging from budget shortfalls to active Republican meddling.

Speaker 1

03:18

So tonight, let's talk about it. And let's start with what questions are actually on the census, because a lot of people don't know what they are. And that very much includes the current president himself.

Speaker 6

03:30

They go through houses, they go up, they ring doorbells, they talk to people. How many toilets do they have? How many...

Speaker 6

03:37

Desks do they have? How many beds? What's their roof made of?

Speaker 1

03:40

-... -... What are you talking about? -...

Speaker 1

03:47

No 1 would go to your house and ask how many toilets you have. Because the answer should be the same for everyone, and that's 4. 1 for pees, 1 for poops, 1 for guests, and 1 for groups. You know, the normal amount of toilets.

Speaker 1

04:04

Now, for the record, the census asks you just a few basic questions. Your name, age, sex, race or ethnicity, how many people live in your home, and how they're related to 1 another, and whether you rent or own. That is essentially it, and yet, some people still do not want to engage with the census. Partly because nobody really likes filling out surveys, and partly because when the government asks questions, people can get paranoid.

Speaker 1

04:30

There is a whole sub-genre of YouTube videos from the last census where libertarians filmed themselves taunting census workers. Like this 1, filmed by a man who insisted the census was unconstitutional, and then added this to the mix.

Speaker 5

04:44

And What is your first name?

Speaker 7

04:46

I can't answer that for you.

Speaker 5

04:47

Oh, you don't want to give names? No. OK.

Speaker 5

04:49

You just want to.

Speaker 7

04:49

That's way too personal of information, because like I said, it's nothing against you, but you're a stranger. I can show you news stories of census workers that have come back and raped and killed people.

Speaker 5

05:03

Yeah, I didn't even know that.

Speaker 1

05:06

Okay, hold on there, because 2 key things there. 1, that census worker seems like a very nice lady who has never killed anyone. And 2, you are being so obnoxious, I would honestly understand if she was suddenly tempted to break that streak.

Speaker 1

05:19

And... And so, so everyone knows, the census is very much constitutional. In fact, it's not just in the constitution, it's the sixth fucking sentence. Think about how significant that is.

Speaker 1

05:32

Freedom of speech didn't even make it in there at all. They had to tack that on later in the 18th century equivalent of a Post-it note. And it is critically important that people participate in the census. For a start, census data is used to evenly distribute political power across the states.

Speaker 1

05:49

Seats in the House of Representatives are divided up based on population. And after every census, adjustments are made. For example, after the last 1, Texas gained 4 seats and Ohio lost 2. And some states are anxious about being undercounted, as this story from Minnesota shows.

Speaker 8

06:07

The eighth congressional seat that we have. We've held on to it for some time. We barely held on to it in 2010, and in 2020, it looks like we're in the same situation again, where we're very close to losing that seat.

Speaker 1

06:23

Right, and that would be bad for them, because losing a seat in Congress is much like losing 1 in musical chairs. Someone is gonna be very disappointed. Only this time, it's an entire state, and not just Aden.

Speaker 1

06:34

I'm sorry, Aden. I'm sorry, Aden, but you've got a slow butt. --LAUGHTER -- Better you learn to live with it now. And census data also plays a crucial role in directing government funding.

Speaker 1

06:45

Hundreds of federal programs use census data to distribute well over $880 billion to states and localities. And if your community's population count is off, even by just a tiny percentage, it can have real consequences. Take the city of Circle Pines, Minnesota. In the last census, they were just 82 people shy of the 5,000-person threshold required to qualify for certain state roads funds.

Speaker 1

07:11

And local officials were very frustrated because they believed that they'd had an undercount. So they do not want that to happen again. And luckily, they have found the hero that Circle Pines deserves.

Speaker 9

07:22

I became census man when I was elected to, lead the census initiative in our city, which is a vitally important initiative.

Speaker 1

07:31

Listen, I absolutely love the fact that there is a census-themed superhero. Although I will say this, his only superpower seems to be reminding people the census exists. It's like if Batman didn't fight crime, he just wandered around and told people interesting facts about bats.

Speaker 1

07:48

Bats can eat up to 1,200 mosquitoes an hour. Goodbye, enjoy your mugging, citizen. -♪ ♪ -♪ And we haven't even gotten into the fact that businesses also use census data to decide where to add jobs or open stores. So it is absolutely vital to get the census right.

Speaker 1

08:05

That is why it's so unfortunate that the president seems to think it's a complete waste of time and money.

Speaker 9

08:11

They're spending 15 billion dollars or some ridiculous amount of money on a census. I don't know why we can't do that through the computers of the world, because frankly, that's the way you can do it, census today, and probably a lot more accurately.

Speaker 3

08:25

All

Speaker 1

08:25

right. So, obviously, there is a lot to unpack there. But let me just quickly pick up on computers of the world. I refuse to take computer advice from Donald Trump.

Speaker 1

08:37

Have you ever seen him use 1? Can you even picture that happening in your mind right now? Donald Trump clicking a mouse, typing with his fingers? No way!

Speaker 1

08:48

Here is a photo that he posted during a Reddit AMA. And he looks like he's scared that if he touches the laptop, it will burn him. Now, as for that whole cost issue, Congress has actually underfunded the Bureau by hundreds of millions of dollars for years, during which time, critical preparations for this census needed to be made. And that is not good, because next year, for the first time ever, the Bureau will be asking most people to answer the census online.

Speaker 1

09:16

Which could make counting everyone easier, provided the government's website works properly. You do not want another healthcare.gov on your hands. A website whose launch was so flawed that you may well recall, only 6 people were able to use it to sign up for health insurance on its first day. Fun fact, those 6 people, the cast of Friends.

Speaker 1

09:37

I mean, could they be any luckier? Now, to avoid problems, typically, the Bureau does multiple full-scale test runs in different locations to make sure that everything is not only working, but that it will work in a variety of difficult to count areas. It had planned to do 3 test runs this time in an urban setting, a rural setting, and on tribal lands. But thanks to budget constraints, it ended up only doing 1, in Providence County, Rhode Island, where they didn't even have a marketing budget.

Speaker 1

10:07

1 library actually tried to help there by offering people coupons for 5 dollars off late fees if they filled in a census on a tablet computer there. But the results were underwhelming.

Speaker 3

10:20

How long has this been up about in the library? Ah, a

Speaker 10

10:24

couple of weeks, I guess.

Speaker 3

10:25

And how many people have come through to use it?

Speaker 10

10:27

Unfortunately, well, here's the thing. A lot of people have looked at it. You know, so far we've had 1 that I can...

Speaker 10

10:36

Yeah, that I can vouch for. 1 person's come in and done it. And, you know, and the coupon was an incentive on that.

Speaker 3

10:44

And Here's the thing, I actually have

Speaker 1

10:45

a confession here. I am that man. I had $233,000 in late fees in Providence, Rhode Island, and now I have just $232,995, and guess what?

Speaker 1

10:56

I'm still not returning the copy of Eat, Pray, Love that I borrowed in 2004. I just committed the perfect crime. Admitting it on camera probably isn't ideal, but no fucking regrets. So, so the 2020 census was always going to be a big challenge, but instead of being able to focus their undivided attention on all these issues, the Bureau has had to expend time and energy dealing with this shit.

Speaker 11

11:21

Overnight, the Trump administration announced a move that could impact the balance of power for years to come. The 2020 census will ask about citizenship for the first time in decades. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross announcing the decision following a request by the Justice Department.

Speaker 1

11:37

That's right. You may remember that last year, Wilbur Ross, who is in charge of the census, and is also what you would get if you put Elmer Fudd in the oven at 425 for 90 minutes... -...he announced a citizenship question...

Speaker 1

11:49

-...would be added to the census in a move that even the Bureau's chief scientist said would harm the quality of the census count. Which makes sense, doesn't it? Because if you have the government, specifically this government, asking people if they are citizens, many may choose not to respond out of fear that the information could be used against them or people in their household. Despite the fact, and this is really important to know, it is against the law for the Bureau to disclose any private information that identifies an individual to anyone.

Speaker 1

12:19

Not the IRS, not ICE, not anyone. Personal census information is actually kept completely confidential for 72 years. By which point, let's face it, we will all be dead. Probably, probably by that census worker's hand when she gets a taste for blood.

Speaker 1

12:35

Now... Now, at the time, at the time, Wilbur Ross claimed it was actually the Justice Department who had requested that citizenship question to better enforce the Voting Rights Act, which immediately seemed like bullshit because voting rights has never seemed exactly like a top priority for this administration. And sure enough, it later emerged that it was Wilbur Ross who had actually pressured the DOJ to request the question from him. Now, the reason why involves this guy, a Republican redistricting strategist named Thomas Hoffler.

Speaker 1

13:08

Here he is delivering a very funny joke, very well.

Speaker 12

13:12

Redistricting is like an election in reverse. It's a great event. Usually the voters get to pick the politicians.

Speaker 12

13:22

In redistricting, the politicians get to pick the voters.

Speaker 1

13:27

Damn! You nailed it, Tommy. But the thing is, what he's saying there is really bad. He's just reciting a major systemic problem with the cadence of a joke, which was also, incidentally, the original title for this program.

Speaker 1

13:42

Now, as it happens, that man died last year. And amazingly, his death ended up exposing Wilbur Ross' true reasons for asking the citizenship question. Because when Hoffler's estranged daughter began to go through his things, she found something very surprising.

Speaker 13

13:58

His daughter finds these zip drives, and on the zip drive is this tranche of information that essentially shows that he had engineered this as a plan explicitly to suppress minority votes.

Speaker 1

14:12

It's true. His daughter found documents on the hard drive that essentially laid out Republican strategy to suppress minorities' voting power and to use the Voting Rights Act as a cover, which is obviously appalling, but probably 1 of the least horrifying things you could find on a hard drive belonging to your dead father. And, incidentally, on that point, if I ever die and anyone finds mysterious hard drives belonging to me,

Speaker 3

14:38

just assume

Speaker 1

14:38

they contain a shady gerrymandering scheme that I'm involved in. Don't even click. Just throw it straight out, because it's definitely a gerrymandering scheme, and definitely not my collection of hamsters in tiny speedos.

Speaker 1

14:48

I mean, if it were that, there would be nothing wrong with it because it's not technically illegal, I checked. But that doesn't matter anyway, because it's not my collection of hamsters in tiny speedos, It's talking points about my gerrymandering scheme. I'm glad we all got that clear. I'll see you later.

Speaker 1

15:05

The point is... The point is, Hoffler had proposed the citizenship question so he could make it easier for Republicans to hold onto power. And it turns out, he and the Trump administration were in close contact about the whole thing. And the scheme was so impossible to justify, 3 courts ruled against it, and finally, the administration lost in front of the Supreme Court, and the question was dropped.

Speaker 1

15:26

Meaning, the citizenship question will not be on the census next year. That is really important to understand. It will not be on the census. Here's the problem, though.

Speaker 1

15:38

Here's the problem. Those who work with immigrant communities say the damage might unfortunately already be done.

Speaker 14

15:45

The anxiety and fear among Chicago's Latino families remains, despite President Trump's decision to back off on the citizenship question on the 2020 census. The, reluctancy is there because the environment has been already created to deter them.

Speaker 1

16:02

Exactly. They've now created an environment of fear. People will still be looking over their shoulder, terrified, as, incidentally, that woman should probably be, because Susan Skellington is right behind her, waiting to pounce. Look out!

Speaker 1

16:18

It's Susan! -♪ ♪ -♪ All in all, there is a lot working against this census, and experts are worried an undercount next year is inevitable. The only question is by how much, and the fear is it could be millions. So, what can we do?

Speaker 1

16:33

Well, it's actually relatively simple. All of us living in America right now need to fill out the census next year. And I know you've seen a lot of people trying to persuade you to do that tonight, from a superhero without superpowers, to an aspiring serial killer, to a coked-up mouse. And...

Speaker 1

16:52

If you don't want to participate in the census for them, or for yourself, or for your community, I'll actually give you 1 more good reason to participate. And that is that it would probably really irritate this guy. Because, think about it, his administration already clearly thinks that certain people don't count. So what better way to get back at him than to make sure that you do, and make the censors count you.

Speaker 1

17:16

And you know what? Just to make him extra mad, why not include a note telling him how many toilets

Speaker 3

17:30

you