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Speaker 1

00:01

54321. Boom, and we're live. Thanks for doing this, man, I appreciate it.

Speaker 2

00:09

Hey, thank you for having me, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1

00:11

You're the only guy I've ever had in the studio where when I showed up, you were working out.

Speaker 2

00:16

That's what I do, man, that's my life. That's my life.

Speaker 1

00:19

It's pretty crazy though. I mean how much time did you have when you got here?

Speaker 2

00:22

I got here about an hour early.

Speaker 1

00:24

Oh okay. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2

00:25

We got a little early.

Speaker 1

00:26

So I got here shirt off doing chin ups. It was hilarious. I didn't get my camera out in time before you saw me.

Speaker 1

00:30

I wanted to take some pictures.

Speaker 2

00:32

Well maybe next time.

Speaker 1

00:33

Next time. Well I'll catch you after the show. You are a guy that for a lot of people you sort of embody the idea of hardening your mind and figuring out a way To do things that most people think are impossible That's you've sort of become that guy over your life and you become that guy for a lot of people including me online We've talked about you on the podcast a ton of times.

Speaker 1

01:02

So having you in here has been very exciting to me.

Speaker 2

01:05

I appreciate that. Thank you.

Speaker 1

01:07

How'd you become that guy?

Speaker 2

01:09

You know what, I grew up not that guy.

Speaker 1

01:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2

01:12

So a lot of people put a title on me. They want to, they see me now. They see me now as the guy that with his shirt off, who can do 4, 030 pull-ups in 17 hours, who can run 205 miles in 39 hours, who can do all this crazy shit.

Speaker 2

01:28

But what they don't understand is they don't understand the journey that it took me to get to this point and What got me to this point was I was just the opposite of what I am today I was that guy who ran away from Absolutely everything that I got in front of me, but Not many people knew that I had 2 people had the like the real me was like this very scared insecure Stuttering got beat up by his dad all this kind of stuff And I built this fake person that walked around like my shit didn't stink you know you know yeah so that was that's kind of how I did it and I do process of time I realized that I was lying to myself and lying to people

Speaker 1

02:10

but that it's a fascinating journey though because you are that guy now right You genuinely are legit badass right at 1 point in time you were a legit terrified person

Speaker 2

02:22

Yes,

Speaker 1

02:22

so what was the process like how did how did you step forth?

Speaker 2

02:27

Well, it's a it's a long process,

Speaker 1

02:29

right?

Speaker 2

02:31

My dad beat the shit out me was growing up We I was the first black baby born in this hospital called Miller Fillmore in Buffalo, New York My dad owns skating rinks. He owned bars. He ran prostitutes from Canada to Buffalo, New York My dad was a big-time pimp big-time anything bad about a person big-time hustler He was American you know that I'm with them Daniel Washington.

Speaker 2

02:54

He was that but not that bad

Speaker 1

02:56

right You

Speaker 2

02:56

know he wasn't that big, but that's what it reminds me of he was that kind of guy and beat the shit out of me, the shit out of my mom. There was an incident 1 time when my mom got knocked out on top of the stairs and he drug her down the stairs by her hair. And at 6 years old, I'll never forget this.

Speaker 2

03:13

In my mind, I was always afraid. My whole life I was afraid, but I had this fucking voice, this conscience, that would always be battling me, saying, hey, you gotta get up and do something. I didn't wanna do shit. You know, I was just afraid, but that voice would force me to get up, and my dad, I'd try to beat him up, whatever, at 6, and I'd get my ass kicked.

Speaker 2

03:34

So this went on for several years and I have a big time learning disability. My dad didn't believe in us going to school. So my dad it was about the business, the skating rink and the bar. So the skating rink opened about 07:00 at night, and this is when I was able to walk so about 5 you know 4 or 5 6 years old 8 9 and I go to this you know skating rink 07:00 at night And I worked the skating rink until 10 at night And then We would scrape the gum off the floors and we cleaned the whole skating rink up.

Speaker 2

04:03

And then my dad had an office. And my brother and myself would sleep in the office. My mom would go upstairs and work the bar until 03:00 in the morning. And then they cleaned the bar up.

Speaker 2

04:13

So after all that shit was done with, going to school rarely happened. So when I went to school, I was all kind of you know, my my learning disability. I had social anxiety I was just a jacked-up kid from living in this tortured home from the outside looking in we live in the all-white neighborhood and then we would travel to the ghetto of Buffalo, New York where the skating rink was at. So we you know we worked around mostly blacks and I lived around mostly whites but no 1 knew what was going on that house that on 201 Paradise Road.

Speaker 2

04:44

You know it's crazy but my mom got courage to finally leave him when I was about 8 years old we moved to a small town in Brazil Indiana and That's when the real war started for me and Brazil Indiana is a small town great people a lot of great people and I say that because a lot of people get offended and I'm gonna get to the point why they get offended. There was about maybe 10 black families at about 10, 000 people in the town and in 1995 the KKK marched in the 4th of July parade. So this was a, not everybody was racist. There's a lot of good people some the best people I knew was there But there's also a lot of racism there so me being 1 of the few black kids in that you know in the area You know it kind of haunts you I had stuff on my notebook.

Speaker 2

05:28

You know nigga We're gonna kill you on my Spanish notebook. They had that on my car nigga we're gonna kill you this is early 90s and So even though I showed it didn't hurt me it was jacking me up So all the insecurities I have when I was a kid with my father I've moved into this area here And it just got worse and worse and worse. And this shit haunted me. And that voice that I talked about, it kept talking louder and louder and louder, but I was doing nothing about it.

Speaker 2

05:56

And I decided to make moves. And I cheated all through school. And it's kind of humbling to talk about my story sometimes and it's also embarrassing but it's real. It's who the fuck I am.

Speaker 2

06:09

It's what I am. It's what created me and copy from the fourth grade to my junior year in high school on every assignment. And I wanted to get in the military. I wanted to join the Air Force.

Speaker 2

06:21

And the guy gave me an ASVAB test. It's like a watered down SAT. And I couldn't copy on it because the guy beside me had a test A. I had test B.

Speaker 2

06:29

The guy to my right had test C. So I looked to copy on this test, and I couldn't copy on it. So I got like a 20. And I wanted to be an Air Force pararescueman.

Speaker 2

06:36

It's guys that jump out of airplanes and save down pilots. It's a special operator in the Air Force. And my score was so horribly low that We take it again. And he said, hey, I got an 18 the second time, even worse.

Speaker 2

06:50

I need to get a 50 out of a

Speaker 1

06:51

99.

Speaker 2

06:53

And so my mom and I, for a while, we lived in the government subsidized apartments, $7 a month, and also food stamps. And we slowly moved up to a

Speaker 1

07:01

$230

Speaker 2

07:02

a month place. But at the time, we were pretty poor. But my mom afforded enough money for me to go to see a tutor 1 hour a week.

Speaker 2

07:12

So for 4 hours a month, I had 6 months to study for my last test. I was only going to take the acid test 3 times. And I studied my ass off and passed it. And I got in the Air Force and realized there was more things in front of me.

Speaker 2

07:25

I was afraid of the water. Terrified of the water. And I learned how to swim. But what gets everybody in this training, in all special ops training, is the water confidence, where they try to pretty much drown your ass.

Speaker 2

07:38

You know, all of our lives we've been breathing, and they take that from you, and they want to see how comfortable you are underwater. And There's only 1% African Americans in special operations, and I didn't know anything about African Like a lot of them are negative buoyant which I am because the bone density I struggled But I'm 6 weeks in the program. There's about 25 guys left. I've about 150 I was there, and I was never I didn't go to sleep for 6 weeks of the program and I wanted to quit so badly, but I quit everything in my life.

Speaker 2

08:09

I copied through school. I want to prove people wrong And so here I am in this Air Force program starting to get a little more confidence, but this water was kicking my ass and 6 weeks in the program The doctor gave me a blood test. It was that sickle cell Sickle cell trait not the anemia, but it still killed people But so they put me out training for a week and When you go from being very uncomfortable in that water situation and then now you're comfortable And I'm sitting back watching the guys drown come not you know I'm not part of the activities anymore for this week I Want to get back in that damn water again? So the fear overcame me and all my insecurities from my dad from this small town from everything started coming back and even though no 1 knew how fucked up I was kind of create this other person who was tough I live with this shit all the time so me not wouldn't go back in that water the doctor called me back up I thought to get like a like a medical kick out of the military so no quitting for me They'll kick me out so I can have some pride The doctor said no, I'm ever kidding.

Speaker 2

09:08

You know we could put you back in the training and I was like fuck but after a week. I'm like you know what I missed 1 week. There's only 3 weeks left There's a good chance. You know I could tough this shit out and go on But I went back to the CEO and the command officer of the program and the sergeant said hey You got to start from day 1 because you missed you know that that week of training, and I broke I broke I I couldn't imagine going back through that again.

Speaker 2

09:35

So I made up a lie. And I said, man, the sickle cell thing is really scaring me. It was the fucking water. It wasn't sickle cell.

Speaker 2

09:42

And I pretty much quit. Even though they gave me a medical, I quit. So from the age of 19 to the age of 22, I went and did a job called tag P, where you control fast movers behind enemy lines. Cool job, but there's no water.

Speaker 2

09:59

I was afraid of the water, so I avoided it. And I gained 125 pounds in that time frame I went from 175 to almost 300 to 297 was my heaviest And I started finding things that was comfortable and the more things I found comfortable The more uncomfortable my mind was because that voice I was telling you about it always was there. I was just trying to avoid that conscience I I wanted to be left alone from that conscience and it wouldn't leave me alone So I got out of the Air Force and I started working for a job called eco lab where he spray for cockroaches at 24 and spraying at different steak and shakes, red lobster, whatever from 11 o'clock at night to 7 o'clock in the morning. And what changed, I came home and watched this Discovery Channel show, Class 224.

Speaker 2

10:45

I came home from steak and shake I sprayed it down last get a big old large 42 ounce shake Walk across the street and get a box of mini doughnuts from 7-eleven and I would drive home for 45 minutes This big old fat guy who yeah, I worked out, but I was fat. I didn't run didn't PT. I just hit the gym so I'm driving home turn the TV on and what comes on just every chance so and That's where everything changed for me. I was taking a shower I walked out heard these guys and I watched the show and it made me reflect big time on the piece of shit that I am and I'm exactly what people said I was gonna be.

Speaker 1

11:24

So what was on this show that really struck home?

Speaker 2

11:27

It was I saw these guys going in the water so I was terrified of it I mean I can't even express have you had a big fear and I know a lot of fighters have fears and stuff like that but they get over them but a lot of us have these fears that you just don't want to fucking face and I have a lot of them Had a lot of them and that's what created the person who's in front of you today, and we'll get into that But just a scared bitch is what I was and but I was watching these guys going through hell week class 224 and these guys ringing the bell quitting dropping their helmet down rolling out a lot of guys just leaving And it made me reflect on my fears, my insecurities. And I saw real men, what I thought were real men, who were staying, who were overcoming adversity, who were overcoming all these different things that I had blamed so many fucking people in my life my dad my mom for not being there when I was 14 years old my my mom was gonna get remarried to this great guy he got murdered and then I moved back to a small town in Brazil and and I Everybody was a blame my learned disability my my skin color You know meet me being everything and so I sat there for a while And I was like man. I got a fucking I've got it.

Speaker 2

12:43

No one's gonna fucking come to help me No one's gonna fucking come to help me. It's fucking me against me period and So I had the man up and I said first I gotta start doing is facing every fucking fear I have no matter what the fuck it is man And I and these things would keep me up and I no 1 people who are hearing this shit They will never really understand and grasp When you face these things and so many things how they keep you up and haunt you at night I

Speaker 1

13:08

think there's a lot of people out there that know what you're talking about

Speaker 2

13:11

I mean, and so that's what it did and I had 2 options to either be that 300 pound guy who sprayed for cockroaches and made $1, 000 a month, and at 24 years old, knowing when I'm 50 fucking years old, I can reflect on this and think about what guy I never became, or I can totally just sack it up and fail and fail and fail until I succeed. So I started calling recruiters up. I said, I'm gonna go be a fucking Navy SEAL.

Speaker 2

13:40

And every recruiter, so there's a weight and height, so the weight and height limit to get in the military. And I was 6'1 and

Speaker 1

13:47

297.

Speaker 2

13:49

And I had prior service, which was a big deal. So I called all these recruiters up, and all of them said, hey, how tall are you, blah, blah, blah, blah. They got into conversation to see if I was even qualified.

Speaker 2

13:58

And by the time I got to my weight, phone would hang up pretty much, like, hey, you know what? Call somebody else. Try to get in the reserves. So I tried to get in the reserves.

Speaker 2

14:07

And I called this guy named Steven Saldjoe, recruiter up. And he said, hey, come on in. He saw me, put me through the weight standard all this other stuff and To get into the class. I had to get into how to lose 106 pounds in less than 3 months.

Speaker 2

14:19

So I was like fuck that I can't do that. I grabbed my chocolate milkshake and went back to Eagle Lab. I'm going back to work man. This is my life.

Speaker 2

14:28

So in this job you look You're looking for cockroaches looking for rodents and stuff like that and this next morning or this next night. I went to work and I hit the I don't like cockroaches too much. I hit the mother load of cockroaches and This restaurant got full of cockroaches and rodents and everything else and I sat there and said this is my life. I Said this is my life.

Speaker 2

14:50

You are exactly who the fuck This is it and I said this ain't gonna be it for me So in that restaurant, I quit my job left my canister in that restaurant my spray canister got back in my eco lab truck and I went home and I started working out like somebody I was I became the most obsessed person on the planet Earth and I was basically I had to invent a guy that didn't exist I had to invent a guy that didn't exist. I had to invent a guy that can take any pain, any suffering, any kind of judgment, be called nigger, be called whatever the fuck in the world and be able to stand in the fucking room and say, go fuck yourself. I had to build this callous mind and I built it through suffering. I built it through downright fucking just crushing myself.

Speaker 2

15:37

If it was raining outside at 03:00 in the fucking morning, if it was snowing, the first instinct is don't go out there and do shit. My instinct was we gotta fucking go out there. Anything that was fucking horrible in my life that I would normally say no That was inhumane to most people. I had to go do it and I started callous in my mind at this point in my life, and I lost the weight I lost the weight and I went back to recruiter.

Speaker 2

16:04

I got into that class and I went through 3 Navy still held weeks in 1 year Only God ever be in 3 hell weeks in 1 year to my knowledge the first 1 I didn't make it through the next 2 I did and that I just didn't I didn't stop anymore from there and I started realizing through this through this process that the fucking mind is what you created And I started opening different doors that I didn't think were even there. They didn't think even existed and the more doors opened up the more I started realizing that my potential is damn near endless And it changed my whole mindset. So I went from david goggins and I created Goggins and That journey is a priceless journey that is hard for me to even explain to people because it sounds so quick and easy that I lost this weight and I went through 3 hell weeks. I went to Ranger school went to Delta Force Lexington Whatever it is.

Speaker 2

16:59

It was brutal. It's a brutal journey every fucking day and everyone's what are you happy? If anybody knows my life story, I'll try to give you a just a snippet of it Where I'm at today is in front of Joe Rogan telling you my life to get through where I became To get through where I'm at now, there's nothing but pride I have for myself that I can't really show people. Because I have this face, I have this face that they see, like, Are you happy?

Speaker 2

17:24

What's wrong with you? I'm driven. I'm obsessed. And that's what you see.

Speaker 2

17:30

That's it.

Speaker 1

17:31

People need to hear this story. This is an exciting story for people because there's a lot of people out there to feel trapped and they feel stuck And they feel like they can't do anything. This is who they are You're a guy who felt that exact same way But figured out How to not be that person and be a person that you would admire How did you what were the first steps like you had some slips before right because you you quit because of the water thing

Speaker 2

17:56

Right,

Speaker 1

17:56

but then when you went back the second time you decided you're gonna lose all that weight and you quit that job Did did you Was it just straight forward from there or were there some days where you just failed and then you picked it back up again?

Speaker 2

18:08

So my first run when I decided to lose the weight, I was like I said

Speaker 1

18:12

297,

Speaker 2

18:13

I was about 32% body fat and my idea was to run 4 miles for my first run I didn't know how bad it's gonna fucking hurt me I used to run before I was fat and I was like fuck it. I can do this I ran a quarter mile and walked home. I walked home and sat on my couch and cried I went to my mom's house who was about 40 about maybe 20 minutes down the road and cried again her couch saying I can't Fucking do this.

Speaker 2

18:37

I don't know what I would do I Just got somebody pregnant My life was this fuck I was making thousand dollars a month my rent was 810 a month and my mind just kept fucking with me and kept fucking, you're not good enough man. This isn't for you man. These guys are the baddest motherfuckers on the planet earth. You're not that.

Speaker 2

18:55

And what it was, and it's kind of funny, I was obsessed with Rocky. Rocky 1 in particular. And when I was a kid, I come home every day and I watched this fucking show Rocky and I would fast forward with the little VHS tapes to round 14. Round 14 fucked me up like nobody's business.

Speaker 2

19:18

Why? The song came on. So when I broke the pull up record, I listened to the song for 17 hours. It's 2 minutes and 13 seconds.

Speaker 2

19:26

And I'm able to visualize and dream like nobody's business. And I know that I can create a vision that many people can't and I work for it so the vision I had was when Apollo Creed beat the fucking shit out of Rocky beat the shit out of him he kept fighting He was a dumb fighter couldn't read couldn't fuck that was me couldn't read couldn't write just Punchy everything about him and rocky beat this or Apollo be the shit. I mean he's in that corner everybody was saying stay the fuck down and Him getting up him getting up Apollo Creed raises arms up in the fucking air turn around thought he wouldn't fight He turns around and sees this guy getting up, and it was the face of Apollo Creed that changed my life. The face of Apollo Creed.

Speaker 2

20:14

It was like, Just by that motherfucker getting up, not winning, just by him getting the fuck up, Apollo Crew was, he was champ, he was the best. Rocky had taken his soul, had literally taken his soul. His head goes down, he looks at him like, what the fuck are you? I wanted to be that, not Rocky.

Speaker 2

20:35

I wanted to be the guy that people looked at I don't keep you like me or didn't like I don't care But said this motherfucker is gonna keep coming after whatever the fuck is in front of him. I wanted that I wanted that I wanted that I wanted that worse than anything in the world So that is I kept picturing me Falling down and getting up and every motherfucker that called me nigger. I was dumb even myself Even myself I wanted to feel something besides defeat. I wanted to just go the distance.

Speaker 2

21:08

And that going the distance pushed me to a point of where now I go way past the distance.

Speaker 1

21:15

So you go the first day, you run a quarter mile and you walk back home and you're you're upset How do you how do you move forward?

Speaker 2

21:21

So basically I did when I came home and I Had a talking milkshake. I sat down I gave up I said this ain't gonna fucking happen man. I got losing her in 6 pounds and I can't even go a quarter fucking mile.

Speaker 2

21:33

I Started being able to take negative shit and Be happy and this whole I say what if a lot it sounds corny and it sounds weak, but it's true 1 of the recruiters said there's not many black Navy SEALs matter of fact. I was a 36 african-american SEAL in history Is it over 7 years? Because the fucking water you know I mean people get mad at me. It's fucking true.

Speaker 2

22:01

Just get over it and so I was like Matt what story would it be if my fucking fat dumb lying to be friends with people insecure ass Can overcome this shit And that what if mentality like that that that dreamer mentality just would always fuel me It was just fueling man. What if I can be What if I can be a seal man? What if I can go from we're in a quarter of a fucking mile now Now I run 205 miles What if I can go but just what if I can go in and what if how would that feel if I'm graduating kind of Get at the graduation thing. I was talking about 224 that like the video.

Speaker 2

22:42

I sat down and watched This command officer stood up and he said to the graduation guys who are graduating buds, like 18 of them, he said, we live in a society where mediocrity is often rewarded. And he went on to say something about these men detest mediocrity. And I wanted to be a man that detests mediocrity. It got me a lot of trouble in the SEAL teams and going forward in my life because I just, I started looking down on people for not going hard as fucking shit.

Speaker 2

23:11

And I started to create different things, but that's for a different day. But I just believe that, you know, my whole mind changed.

Speaker 1

23:17

That is a problem that a lot of people who work hard to have you get angry At people who don't work hard to the point where you you know you want to insult them you want to you want to smack Them and it's really because you're scared of seeing that in yourself.

Speaker 2

23:30

Yeah, that's probably the truth. That's probably the truth So I guess a lot of time I would see people and it probably was a direct reflection of who I was And I would get mad at them, but in reflection is probably just be getting mad at myself

Speaker 1

23:43

Yeah That's for me a hundred percent when I when I see people that are half-assed and things I get terrified of seeing that in myself and I get mad at them

Speaker 2

23:51

right

Speaker 1

23:51

and it's It's not a good way to handle it No, you know, but it's it's natural because you're just terrified of seeing that trait right and it cost me so you come back Mm-hmm. You do the quarter-mile right you walk back home. How do you regroup?

Speaker 2

24:06

So what I did, I sat down there and I put Rocky in. I got my milkshake, put Rocky in. I said, you know what, I was big time in Rocky and Platoon.

Speaker 2

24:15

Why Platoon? I love to see people who were getting beat down and this there's there's scenes There's scenes that this drove me and people in my hell weeks You know I was in 3 of them They'd always hear me singing these songs These songs humming these songs in Torturous situations when you're when everybody's quitting this fucking code. I would be Somewhere gone somewhere fucking gone if somewhere fucking darkest shit There's a scene in platoon when Elias when Barnes shoots Elias And you know they think Elias is dead and the choppers are taking off and Charlie Sheen's asking you know Tom Berenger Where's Elias where's Elias William Dafoe? Oh, I found him back there dead somewhere and Through the woods the Viet Cong is Chasing Elias through the woods and shooting him in his fucking back and all he wants to do is get to the fucking chopper He's getting shot in his back.

Speaker 2

25:05

He's getting up. He's getting shot in the back. He's getting up and you see this guy just fighting I Love the fucking guy who just fucking fights And so I put these things in as Reminders that you're gonna have to fucking suffer man this fucking 0.25 man. This is Man, you're gonna have to fucking suffer to go from this fat Insecure motherfucker to 1 of the best guys on the planet Earth this journey is gonna take something that is gonna be incomprehensible to most people.

Speaker 2

25:36

And these different visualizations, how I visualize in my self-talk, it became so nasty and dirty that I almost liked the fact that I went .25. So it became from being defeated to like, man, all right, motherfucker, maybe tomorrow I'm gonna go

Speaker 1

25:52

.75.

Speaker 2

25:54

You know, it just became this different mindset. I turned negatives into positives. So I would take it like, Who would even think about doing this so I would sit my couch saying who at 297 who can't fucking swim that great who's scary?

Speaker 2

26:06

The fucking water we have the fucking balls They love balls to fucking man up quit a job and go and they put everything on himself so it's how I start talking to myself and put myself in a whole different category and that would fuel me the next day and I just kept using that as fuel and fuel no 1 would do this shit no 1 do this shit you're the best motherfucker around you're the best motherfucker ever live and I had I kept fueling me with the with the right kind of message that I needed to hear that I was never telling myself. And through time, it became reality to myself.

Speaker 1

26:42

So you start out on the first day And then do you start running again the second day?

Speaker 2

26:47

Yeah, the second day I went right back after it again. But I started realizing I can't run that far. So what I did was I became damn near a professional cyclist with the miles I put on the bike.

Speaker 2

26:56

So whenever I watched TV, I had to be doing something. So I was riding a bike. I rode a bike a lot to lose the first initial kind of weight because my bones were just hurting so bad my body was Just broken and I learned to get over that also and I tried to swim a lot I wasn't a great swimmer but putting fins on kind of equalized my body I wasn't so negative buoyant So I started fitting a whole bunch. And I spent hours in the pool, hours in the pool, trying to get more and more comfortable.

Speaker 2

27:23

Not because I was going underwater. I was so scared of the water that I had to live in the water. I had to become 1 with the water. So going to the pool used to scare me So I went to the pool an awful awful lot and then the bike got easier I was able to run more I went from like 1 mile 1 mile is a great accomplishment 2 miles and then from 2 to 3 was a big 1 Then I went from 3 to 6 And then like they have a warning order that they give people to get ready for buds And the whole thing was running 6 miles 5 days a week And that was my goal and so I just kept I failed I go back to scratch.

Speaker 2

28:02

I use some positive motivation. I have like 1 day where I'm like fucking defeated But I started realizing this is part of the process. This is part of the journey I had to realize this is part of my process versus just saying like I used to I'm it's not good enough If I'm not good enough, we always say that shit. I'm just not good enough, and then we try something else.

Speaker 2

28:20

I'm gonna fucking make myself good enough. And that became my mentality. I'm gonna make myself good enough. And so I misunderstood a lot, but that's all it came down to.

Speaker 2

28:30

I made myself good enough. And the days I couldn't run that far the next week I would do 2 days so on the running if I ran a quarter of a mile I Wait a fucking couple hours it haunt me bother me. I try to run a half a mile next time. Same day.

Speaker 2

28:48

You can do more than this. If I had to walk, I had to walk. It just became just a process of grinding and grinding and grinding's not even a good word for it. It's not even a good word for it.

Speaker 2

28:58

And just going further and further. And then when I got through running I go to the bike I go to the pool if I got tired somewhere my legs are tired I go to the gym and I developed this crazy workout where I was doing volume like 2 300 reps of like very lightweight people I say how you know how come you don't have any loose skin? My workout routine in the gym became sick. It became sick.

Speaker 2

29:22

I was just doing 200, 300 reps, 400 reps on chest, just for 1 simple exercise, the bench press. And I'd rack it, get back on it, just rep it out, trying to burn as many calories I can't build that muscle mass and I just became just became obsessed with it

Speaker 1

29:39

So when you're doing this are you worried at all about repetitive stress injuries or the fact that your body's not conditioned For this and you're basically taking your body where you had abused it

Speaker 2

29:48

right

Speaker 1

29:48

and now you're you're forcing it to live like an elite Athlete

Speaker 2

29:52

right I didn't care. I didn't know any better. I didn't think about it Wow I didn't I I didn't know That working out that hard would fuck you up.

Speaker 1

30:00

I did it fuck you up.

Speaker 2

30:01

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's 1 reason why I went through 3 hell weeks. So I Don't talk about a lot.

Speaker 2

30:07

But the stress of my life getting to 24 Caused me to have some serious so as issues. I know anything about this shit The So as muscles what we use is your hip flexor muscle and basically under stress it starts to tighten up And I wish I stuttered for from the time. I was in third grade time I was in seventh grade white blotches on my skin I was just I was in that case and so The insides of me are also getting fucked up so in this process My so as most got real tight to my t12 I Can show you the bump on the back of my head after this show's over But I had I started growing this fucking like large tumor looking bump on the back of my head from my body compressing. So I'm 6 foot 1 but my muscles were like 5 foot 9 because I just started just the muscle tightness from my psoas going to my t12 I was just getting tighter my quads everything getting tired from just stress just stress in my life So the more I stress my body with the workouts, my lower body became out of balance.

Speaker 2

31:09

So I had a bunch of stress fractures, a bunch of injuries going through buds. And how I got through Buds was they gave me my third time was my last time going through hell week I Basically put a black sock on at 04:00 in the morning, and I would get duct tape I had I had numerous stress fractures on both of my legs because my Because my body was literally like coming in on itself and my legs were like I was pronating it really bad and putting stress on my shins and so I would put duct tape I would duct tape my feet and I would show you the top of them where I have pressure ulcers that were the size of quarters from you know how the ankle joint so the foot goes to the shin, and how you move this, where the tape was so tight, it just created a nice ulcer right there. And I just kept going through it.

Speaker 1

31:59

So you just used that tape to just support your ankles?

Speaker 2

32:01

Right. So I basically cast myself, and for the first 30, 45 minutes, the pain was excruciating, but then it would go numb. And I would go numb, and then that's how I got through

Speaker 1

32:12

Wow Did that do any long-term damage?

Speaker 2

32:16

Oh, I yeah, I've been out for 5 years so I retired from I did 21 years in military I did time in the Air Force and I did about 16 years in the Navy

Speaker 1

32:24

how old you 43 so like you're 30 that's good that's good you really you look Very young for your age

Speaker 2

32:31

whenever I'm stressed I get after it. I Fix I fix whatever bothering me. So I Basically over the last 5 years everything I've done in my life.

Speaker 2

32:42

I did it being very unhealthy. I'd never talked about it I just kept going and it cost me pretty much I was choking my insides out. Adrenal issues, tons of adrenal issues, thyroid issues, anything with the endocrine system pretty much shut down on me. My organs were pretty much shutting down and I went from a guy who could run 205 miles to a guy who couldn't get out of bed.

Speaker 2

33:03

And the doctors were trying to search what was wrong. That's when I figured out the psoas muscle. No 1 figured it out. And I hit it by accident.

Speaker 2

33:11

So I've missed 2 days of stretching out in 5 years. And so what happened was all the shit I did to myself the stress. I was under physical mental all kind of shit It just choked me out from the inside and Doctors put me all kind of medication and the medication started doing the exact opposite of what

Speaker 1

33:30

kind of shit.

Speaker 2

33:31

I was on DHEA I was on some different things for my estrogen different things for my I was on anything to do with your Like with your endocrine system. I'll thyroid medicine Good God I was on cortisol all kind of shit to get my stuff. I had this lump in my throat from the heart was always, I couldn't run down the street.

Speaker 2

33:56

My body was just jacked up. Couldn't sleep, my whole body was just down, shutting down. I could give you a lot more than that, but just give an example. I was fucking dying.

Speaker 2

34:04

And so I couldn't do anything. I went from a guy who was this guy to a guy who can't do shit. And doctors were like, I don't know what's wrong with you, man. You know, your labs are this.

Speaker 2

34:13

Is it PTSD? Is it what's going on? I knew it wasn't any of that shit. So I sat in the bed 1 day and I realized man my life is over this is it but it gave me time to reflect on everything I had accomplished I never taken time to reflect on the kid I was to the man I am now so honestly the time I wasn't working out It was the best time of my life because I got a chance to really reflect back and be proud of who I became I never took time to do that It was like 1 after another get the fuck after get after get after you ain't good enough my fuck get after get after it and I got halted So anyway this process went on for a while more medication.