- The CEO of KIPP, a therapy startup, shares her personal experience with therapy and how it has helped her in her work.
- She initially sought therapy due to stress and anxiety affecting her ability to perform well.
- Therapy is described as a scientifically proven process that changes the way the brain works for the better.
- The therapy process involves setting goals, learning about thought patterns and emotions, and developing skills to navigate them.
- Therapy helped the CEO find relief and a path towards improvement, reducing anxiety and improving her thinking.
- The CEO believes that everyone should have a therapist, especially founders who deal with high levels of stress and uncertainty.
- Mental health should be viewed as important as physical health, and therapy should be seen as an investment in oneself.

This week Kip (YC W16) launched their Investor Pledge for Mental Health–a public commitment to take an active role in promoting mental health. Erin Frey shared her thoughts on therapy with us.

I'm the co-founder and CEO of KIPP, a Y Combinator startup that helps you get amazing therapy.

I started going to therapy when I realized that stress and anxiety were affecting my ability to do good work.

I was waking up anxious every morning, thinking through the list of things that I would not get done that day.

I was making worse decisions, definitely making slower decisions.

My co-founder and I were getting into way more fights than we used to.

And I especially noticed this lack of confidence.

Situations that normally wouldn't bother me rattled me.

Right now, it's a little stressful to do an interview, but I'm channeling that anxiety in a positive way.

If this was taking place 6 weeks ago, I don't know if I'd be able to do the interview at all.

And I think at the end of the day, what happened was, I noticed all these things were preventing me from bringing my best self to work.

And when you're running a startup, every day matters.

You can have a bad day or 2, but you can't have a bad week and then 3 bad weeks in a row.

And I also realized the irony that I was running a therapy startup.

Tons of founders are using KIPP to help manage the ups and downs and the stress and the uncertainty of running a startup and I wasn't taking care of myself.

So I took my own advice and I went to KIPP and I booked a therapist.

So a lot of founders are curious and people in general are curious about how does therapy actually work and does it work.

I like to explain therapy as this scientifically proven process that changes the way your brain works for the better and this is what it was like for me and what we do at KIPP.

At first you meet with a therapist and you figure out a goal to work together on.

It's okay if you just feel off, that's fine.

Your therapist will figure out what to work on with you in the session.

I wanted to fix my confidence because that was clearly the problem that I was having.

And my therapist quickly realized that it wasn't confidence, it was that stress and anxiety were just overwhelming me and my true self, my confident self, wasn't able to shine through.

So after we have the first session, you'll continue to go to a therapist once a week, maybe once every other week.

And in sessions, you start to learn how your brain works.

You learn about how you navigate emotions.

Learn about the behaviors that you're doing every day, and which ones are helping you, and which ones are hurting you.

And your therapist will figure out and work with you and figure out what behaviors and how will you navigate your emotions better and how can you relate to your thoughts better to live the life you want.

And so they'll teach you tools, and you'll build skills to do that.

1 good example for founders is that often we deal with this incredible fear of failure, and a lot of negative emotions.

Say you're driving up Sand Hill Road, and you're about to give a pitch meeting, and maybe in the back of your mind you think, oh, I'm going to fail this pitch, I'm going to botch it, and they're never going to invest, and this startup's going to blow, it's just going to go nowhere.

You can learn with your therapist a way to stop those thoughts before they start making you feel bad, and you'll examine them.

You'll ask yourself questions like, well, is there evidence for these thoughts?

And 1, you've practiced your pitch a hundred times.

This investor in you had a great conversation just last week and you're running an amazing startup.

There's really no evidence for you to think that you're going to fail.

And then your therapist will probably go further and ask you to think, what's the worst thing that will happen?

So what if you fail, if you botch this pitch?

All that happens is you don't get an investment from this 1 investor.

And then you'll just go find another investor.

And I think a therapist is really powerful, especially for founders, in teaching you how to find frameworks and look at your thoughts differently so they really help you in achieving your goals.

So therapy helped me immediately in 2 ways.

First, I had a relief in knowing there was someone there I could talk to when things got bad.

Someone I could talk to about problems that I didn't want to tell my co-founder, or I didn't really know how to explain to my family or friends.

I can't really overestimate how important that is to have a safe space.

And I also felt relief in knowing that I was on a path toward getting better.

I was so desperate to get better and get back to working and being my normal kick-ass self.

And just trusting in the process and knowing that I was doing something that would eventually get me to that place in life made me feel better.

And then later on, as we reduced my anxiety and stress, I noticed this, just that I was thinking so much better.

And instead of looking at problems as these behemoths that I would never be able to tackle, as things that I was setting my, I would just set up to fail.

I started looking at them again as challenges, as these fun, exciting problems that I was going to solve that, and that's the same way that I have thought, you know, back a year ago when we started KIPP.

And so I think it's really, those have been the most important things so far, and I'm sure that as I continue to go to therapy, I am gonna get a lot more benefits out of it.

I think everyone should have a therapist.

I, you know, of course if you're feeling stressed and anxious or depressed or in a bad mood and it's not going away, absolutely go see a therapist.

But, you know, I wish I had started going to therapy way earlier, months ago, maybe even when I started KIPP.

And I say that because stress, anxiety, depression, these are all predictable patterns in founders.

You just, you're dealing with this overwhelming amount of uncertainty and overwhelming amount of pressure and stress, both that people put on you, but you're putting on yourself.

And the faster you can go and find someone to help you navigate that, the better off you'll be.

And I hope that 1 day we look at mental health and we see a therapist in the same way we see other care providers.

If you go to the dentist twice a year to get a cleaning and you go to a doctor for a physical once a year, why are we not investing in ourselves and going to a therapist every once in a while to make sure our brain is working and as a founder your most important asset, your most important muscle is your brain and you should be investing in yourself and making sure that it's working really well and that is going to make you a better founder, a better person, a better leader in the long run.


Speaker 0: Hi, I'm Erin. I'm the co-founder and CEO of KIPP, a Y Combinator startup that helps you get amazing therapy. I started going to therapy when I realized that stress and anxiety were affecting my ability to do good work. I was waking up anxious every morning, thinking through the list of things that I would not get done that day. I realized I was thinking less clearly.

I was making worse decisions, definitely making slower decisions. I would get more agitated. My co-founder and I were getting into way more fights than we used to. And I especially noticed this lack of confidence. Situations that normally wouldn't bother me rattled me.

And you know, 1 example is an interview. Right now, it's a little stressful to do an interview, but I'm channeling that anxiety in a positive way. If this was taking place 6 weeks ago, I don't know if I'd be able to do the interview at all. And I think at the end of the day, what happened was, I noticed all these things were preventing me from bringing my best self to work. And when you're running a startup, every day matters.

You can have a bad day or 2, but you can't have a bad week and then 3 bad weeks in a row. And I also realized the irony that I was running a therapy startup. Tons of founders are using KIPP to help manage the ups and downs and the stress and the uncertainty of running a startup and I wasn't taking care of myself. So I took my own advice and I went to KIPP and I booked a therapist. So a lot of founders are curious and people in general are curious about how does therapy actually work and does it work.

I like to explain therapy as this scientifically proven process that changes the way your brain works for the better and this is what it was like for me and what we do at KIPP. At first you meet with a therapist and you figure out a goal to work together on. You might not know what your goal is. It's okay if you just feel off, that's fine. Your therapist will figure out what to work on with you in the session.

And for me, I came in ready to go. I wanted to fix my confidence because that was clearly the problem that I was having. And my therapist quickly realized that it wasn't confidence, it was that stress and anxiety were just overwhelming me and my true self, my confident self, wasn't able to shine through. So after we have the first session, you'll continue to go to a therapist once a week, maybe once every other week. And in sessions, you start to learn how your brain works.

You learn about your thought patterns. You learn about how you navigate emotions. Learn about the behaviors that you're doing every day, and which ones are helping you, and which ones are hurting you. And your therapist will figure out and work with you and figure out what behaviors and how will you navigate your emotions better and how can you relate to your thoughts better to live the life you want. And so they'll teach you tools, and you'll build skills to do that.

1 good example for founders is that often we deal with this incredible fear of failure, and a lot of negative emotions. Say you're driving up Sand Hill Road, and you're about to give a pitch meeting, and maybe in the back of your mind you think, oh, I'm going to fail this pitch, I'm going to botch it, and they're never going to invest, and this startup's going to blow, it's just going to go nowhere. You can learn with your therapist a way to stop those thoughts before they start making you feel bad, and you'll examine them. You'll ask yourself questions like, well, is there evidence for these thoughts? And 1, you've practiced your pitch a hundred times.

This investor in you had a great conversation just last week and you're running an amazing startup. There's really no evidence for you to think that you're going to fail. And then your therapist will probably go further and ask you to think, what's the worst thing that will happen? So what if you fail, if you botch this pitch? All that happens is you don't get an investment from this 1 investor.

And then you'll just go find another investor. It's not the end of the world. And I think a therapist is really powerful, especially for founders, in teaching you how to find frameworks and look at your thoughts differently so they really help you in achieving your goals. So therapy helped me immediately in 2 ways. 1, I had this huge sense of relief.

First, I had a relief in knowing there was someone there I could talk to when things got bad. Someone I could talk to about problems that I didn't want to tell my co-founder, or I didn't really know how to explain to my family or friends. I can't really overestimate how important that is to have a safe space. And I also felt relief in knowing that I was on a path toward getting better. I felt so bad 6 weeks ago.

I was so desperate to get better and get back to working and being my normal kick-ass self. And just trusting in the process and knowing that I was doing something that would eventually get me to that place in life made me feel better. And then later on, as we reduced my anxiety and stress, I noticed this, just that I was thinking so much better. And instead of looking at problems as these behemoths that I would never be able to tackle, as things that I was setting my, I would just set up to fail. I started looking at them again as challenges, as these fun, exciting problems that I was going to solve that, and that's the same way that I have thought, you know, back a year ago when we started KIPP.

And so I think it's really, those have been the most important things so far, and I'm sure that as I continue to go to therapy, I am gonna get a lot more benefits out of it. So I'm biased. I think everyone should have a therapist. I, you know, of course if you're feeling stressed and anxious or depressed or in a bad mood and it's not going away, absolutely go see a therapist. But, you know, I wish I had started going to therapy way earlier, months ago, maybe even when I started KIPP.

And I say that because stress, anxiety, depression, these are all predictable patterns in founders. You just, you're dealing with this overwhelming amount of uncertainty and overwhelming amount of pressure and stress, both that people put on you, but you're putting on yourself. And the faster you can go and find someone to help you navigate that, the better off you'll be. And I hope that 1 day we look at mental health and we see a therapist in the same way we see other care providers. If you go to the dentist twice a year to get a cleaning and you go to a doctor for a physical once a year, why are we not investing in ourselves and going to a therapist every once in a while to make sure our brain is working and as a founder your most important asset, your most important muscle is your brain and you should be investing in yourself and making sure that it's working really well and that is going to make you a better founder, a better person, a better leader in the long run.

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Erin Frey on Therapy