ABOUT THIS EPISODE
This episode is for all the High-achieving women, including the recovering workaholics and overcoming perfectionists. My dear friend, Pauleanna Reid, and I sit down as we discuss the importance of the need to take a seasonal detox. In this episode, we discuss:

00:00 - Introduction
02:56 - The need to have regular seasonal detoxes
06:52 - Having intimacy with yourself
08:43 - Making (quality) friends as adults
15:43 - The struggle women have with prioritizing their faith
20:15 - Your parents’ faith is NOT enough
21:45 - You don’t always have to be present to be productive
24:29 - Final thoughts
26:04 - Practical Action Step
27:44 - Habits Reminder for High-Achieving Women

Learn more about A. Margot Blair and invite her to speak at your next women's event:
Invite A. Margot to Speak | https://www.amargotblair.com/Keynote
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LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/amargotblair/
Website | https://www.amargotblair.com
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/a.margotblair/

About Pauleanna: 
I love sharing part of my world with you. I am a journalist and celebrity ghostwriter but my clients often refer to me as their content ninja. I help high-profile leaders and doers who are shaping the future turn their personal stories into powerful brand assets. Think Judy Smith meets Cardi B. My video series documents my day-to-day activities and speaking engagements. I hope it inspires you to also crush your goals and dream bigger dreams. 

---- Say hi: 
pauleanna@pauleannareid.com 
Instagram: https://instagram.com/pauleannareid 
Website: https://www.pauleannareid.com 
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/pauleannareid 
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/pauleannar 
WritersBlok: https://thewritersblok.com 
New Girl on the Block: https://newgirlontheblock.com

If you are a high achieving woman and you're coming up on or past due for a sabbatical, vacation or time off, today's episode is for you.

I have another incredible guest joining me to unpack this topic today.

Before we dive in, let us set the tone for today's timely discussion.

Welcome back to all the OG Impact makers.

And if you're new here, hey there, welcome to Seasons of Life, the podcast where we dive deep into the discussions around biblical personal development and Christ-centered leadership.

Our sole focus is to come alongside Christian women and develop the woman behind the many hats that they wear.

In each episode, we start by acknowledging that many women have allowed themselves to be defined by their life experiences, and this has been happening for far too long.

Instead, what we can do is choose to acknowledge our experiences, learn from them, and allow them to serve as stepping stones as we become the women God has predestined us to be.

You see, this process really invites each of us to do the work that is required of us to find freedom in Christ, to break free from strongholds, and to grow in a spiritual maturity, both in our personal and professional life.

In each episode of Seasons of Life, my mission is to teach and equip women to navigate more effectively through seasons of your life using biblical principles and practical personal development strategies.

My desire is that every lesson taught and every guest story shared points you back to the presence and redemptive work of God in and through your life.

Today I'm super excited to be joined by my friend, my sister, celebrity ghostwriter, Pollyanna Reed.

She is not just a wealth of knowledge, but she is also a millennial mentor.

She has been there, done that, and she has the scars and stories to really paint a vivid picture of what it means to not just overcome but thrive after having faced various forms of challenges in her life.

And I'm really excited that that we actually just get to talk.

What we're doing today is really just inviting the professional girlies into the conversation we're going to have.

It is time to talk about something that I don't see professional women talk about enough, and it is the need to have regular seasonal detoxes.

And when I shared it with you, I also learned that that just happens to be what you are doing in this season.

And so I want to just start there, what's going on in life?

Yeah, you know what, just like everybody else, I am always excited as a new year approaches, right?

New feeling, newly inspired, new vision for the future.

However, I think in the last few years I've just grown more tired, more fatigued, more cloudy as I filled my plate with so many things.

And currently in my life, I'm not married, nor do I have children.

So I also wanna make that very clear as we're having this conversation.

That I have the flexibility to make certain choices, spontaneous ones at that, to just pick up and detach myself.

I think it's really important to take a big deep breath.

I am highly functional, highly productive.

I'm also highly empathetic, emotional, sensitive.

And I really, really need time to myself in order to be the best that I can be for my clients, for my team, for my family, for my partner, right?

Like, it's like really, really important to me.

And so, the season of my life, I'm currently in New York, born and raised in Toronto.

I'm in New York for a few months because I need to clear my head.

It's not abnormal for me to pack a bag and just leave Toronto, mostly for work, but I'm really good for a great staycation.

I'm really good for a bed and breakfast in no man's land.

I'm really good for picking up and traveling halfway across the world just to get some better sleep in a new environment.

I'm good for picking up and traveling all the way across the world to change my office, to change the pace in which I work, to sit in the sun, to get some vitamin D.

I'm very grateful that I hold the brush to paint and redesign and reimagine what my life can look like day to day, and my prayer for myself is that when I do get married, when I do have children, that I'll still be able to keep this sacred part of me alive.

That's very, very important to me because I don't think I could function without it.

You opened it up and you said, I want to make this clear right now in this season, you're not a wife, you're not a mom yet.

I'm a mama of 3, 2 bonus babies and a potty training toddler.

So life is real all the time and it doesn't stop.

But for me, I would have to agree with you.

But also for me, if I am not grounded, first thing in the morning, like right now we're having this conversation, nobody's up, house is quiet.

If I'm not doing, I'm not going to be functional for what is required to for me to mom, for me to wife.

And so to just wanting to give that other angle of for the ladies who may be mothers and wives in this season.

But my life, no, it is a priority for us to be able to show up in our full capacity, whatever that looks like.

So I just want to commend you for building this foundation now so that it's a regular rhythm.

There are going to be some adjustments, but it's still possible.

1 of the things I appreciate about our friendship and I appreciate about the friendships I do have in my life.

Some of them, not all of them is the level of intimacy we share through our conversations, through prayer, through our text messages.

I also think it's important to have that level of intimacy with yourself, right?

Like as we're having this conversation, I'm sitting next to floor to ceiling windows, the sun shining on my skin, I can feel the warmth tickle the hairs on my legs.

Like for me, it's like in my twenties, there was a time and a place to like everything was urgent, everything was pressing, everything was was dire, right?

Now I'm really glad and I'm glad that I have that season.

I think I think that it was very important because you know I always say like I grinded in my 20s so I could really live in my 30s.

And so like having intimacy with yourself is very important.

Like I take myself on dates, I go to the movies by myself, I go to my favorite restaurants, I go for walks, I go to the gym.

I think people are often afraid of doing that because they'd be faced with really hard, difficult conversations.

And when you're also by yourself, I mean, that's when you can hear God the clearest and some people are not ready for those interactions as well.

Like in order to really have a fulfilling life, I feel like friendship is really a big part of that.

And so I know there are a lot of women who may be listening who have a very difficult time making friends with adults.

I think, I really think that's an issue that's in people's minds.

I don't think it's like, I don't think it's true to life because there are many, many women.

There are billions of people in the world, first of all.

And there are many women who will embrace you with open arms.

You should have to find the spaces and also have the courage to kind of raise your hand and say like, hey, like I have sent cold emails before and I've said, hey, love what you're doing.

I have a deep desire to make friends with more women, to partner with more women.

And I'd love to schedule some time to say hello.

Whether people, whether the recipient answers or not, I'm doing my due diligence.

I'm doing my part to take up space, to raise my hand, to express interest.

And so, yeah, making new friends is hard, but once you find your tribe, I think something that I've noticed and something I've been very conscious in changing is the level of intimacy.

Like I require, mind you, let me preface it with this, there are friends, there are acquaintances, there are business associates, like just make sure that you know who's who.

You're putting, you know, the people in for sure.

Yeah, but in my friendships I require a level of intimacy.

I require intentionality in the memories we create.

Like I require, I require us to be vulnerable and open up.

And while not all friendships will embody prayer, which I think is very, very intimate and beautiful, I do think that healthy friendships are a two-way street.

Sometimes you will carry the load and sometimes when you can't and when you are broken or when you are tired, your girlfriend will carry the load and she'll be the 1 checking in on you, right?

And like, I'm moving a little bit slower these days.

I don't feel guilty if I don't respond to your text in a matter of days.

I don't feel guilty if I don't respond to your email in a matter of weeks.

I just feel like we just we don't know what people are going through behind closed doors.

You don't know what private battles they're up against.

So as I'm working through my own internal thoughts, energies, feelings, conversations, I know that people I'm interacting with may also be doing the same.

So I'm really, really cognizant and I'm really, really, really trying to be open-minded and know that like Everyone's dealing with something and certain things can wait and that's okay.

And again, I just want to highlight a few pieces that you mentioned about friendship.

And I'm happy to expose a few of the spaces of rawness that we had with each other.

For us, I met you, and you knew nothing about me and I'm like, oh, I want to know her.

I'm like, okay, now I really wanna know her.

Fast forward years, you were coming out last year to a speaking engagement.

And I'm like, hey, if you have a gap in your schedule, I'd love to treat you to coffee.

I was like, virtual coffee or something, something like that, something so simple, right?

They like, the way they booked it, we just couldn't do it.

But that, and you can share your perspectives, but even that, taking that time to say, hey, I'd love to sit with you.

Like, hey, I'd love to just be present with you.

Not, I wanna pick your brain or can you give me some free time?

No, Like I wanted to sit with Pollyanna, the woman behind this big old brand.

Because partly the work that I do, I know that as high achieving women, we are not taking enough time to be.

Just literally exist outside of whatever title that you have, whatever title that other people have placed on you, ascribed to you or whatnot.

And so I was like, no, I want to get to know Pollyanna, who is she?

And so that really opened up what, from my perspective, opened up the doors to our friendship.

I think that I'm always open when women approach me and just want to hold space and chop it up.

I think that says a lot about your energy too, when you have women who genuinely want to sit with you, hold you, talk to you.

I had someone reach out to me on DM last month and she asked if she could pray with me, pray for me.

And it was it just, you know, it was just it was really captivating.

And I'm just, I'm, I'm just really, really happy to have friends like yourself who really look out for me and don't care about titles or projects or, oh my God.

I went out with a woman the other day, and every 5 seconds she was like, what project are you working on?

Every question was about work and I'm like, girl, like my head is not even there right now.

Like not everything has to be about work.

Like, and that's the beauty in the season that I'm in right now.

Like, I am enjoying so many things outside of the office.

Like, and so when I get approached by someone like yourself who just wants to hold space, I'm always open to that.

And people will say like, Oh, I didn't, you know, I didn't want to message you because you look really busy or I didn't want to message you because or the surprise that I even they're surprised that I even respond it's like who doesn't want to be around other cool smart dope women right like I will always open the door for that and so I'm grateful for you for starting that because you planted that seed we're now nurturing it we're watering it we're giving it sunlight and it's an organic connection an organic friendship like I do not believe in manufacturing alignment.

And I think that for me, it's about depth, not width.

I don't need to know everyone on the planet.

I don't need to know everyone in the room, right?

Like I just, I want to be selective of where I center my energy.

Because again, you said it just in that encounter.

It's for us, the conversations that majority of the conversations we have is like, you good?

And that's, I mean, if it goes, you know, more than that, that's fine too.

But that's really the center of our relationship.

And it's also symbiotic because I know from our conversations more about your background.

And 1 of the conversations we had, it was like 1 of our like first virtual copies that we had.

And it was like, I said, what I'm seeing in this season, specifically for the high achieving women, is their faith has been taking a back seat.

And you were like, hold up, let's talk about that.

And so even for you and the circles you're in, not just this recent lunch that you had, but just the group of professional women we know that you know who identify as Christian, but are struggling to really prioritize their faith.

Several of my uncles are currently pastors.

And what's really interesting is when you step into the matrix, that's the word I call entrepreneurship, You will be challenged in ways unimaginable.

And you are constantly navigating a battlefield in which your integrity will be tested, in which you will have to make, you have to make some really hard choices.

You have to ask yourself, how will my decisions affect the people in my life?

What are the long-term and short-term consequences?

I feel like people want to and have the desire to leave their corporate jobs because they feel like it's an escape.

There are many times where I thought I was losing my mind.

There are many times when I have thought voices inside my head that nobody will understand.

There are many times where I've had quiet moments, conversations with God, asking him to guide me, protect me, watch over me, send his army of angels, give me the language, the confidence to step into any room, to step onto any stage, to, to,

Just help me, help me get through each and every day.

Help me get out of the bed, even on the days when I don't feel like it.

And so when I have conversations with my girlfriends and I see that they're struggling, 1 of the first questions I ask them is, what do you want or need prayer for?

You know what's really interesting, and I know your podcast is for women, there are a lot, there are a lot of reinforcements, resources, communities, groups, events for women.

I also pray over the black men in my life too like man like I have some really really beautiful beautiful black men in my circle

And when we touch base, I let them know, I look them in the eye and I let them know, like, I'm here for you.

Like, I better be the first person you call if you need something.

if I call you a friend, you know that I can be 1 of the first people, your top 5, that you can call if you need something.

I will send you money if I have it, you got it, whatever the case may be.

So I kind of like went left field, but what I'm saying is we're talking about people who struggle with their faith, people who struggle with their faith in certain spaces and places.

And so like, I worry about the individuals who are not anchored by something because I know even with even being anchored it's still hard

Yes What you're sharing is is super important and to bring it up There are women who are in a space where this is not just the conversation about women, right?

Because we are around others, but at the same time, either way, what I'm hearing you say is your parents say not enough.

to say that again for the people in the back, your parents' faith, your grandmama's faith is not enough.

When we're talking about this conversation around the need to take a spiritual detox, it is literally sometimes taking a step back and looking at where you are right now, what you have in your hands and saying, okay, this is an area Lord where I have not prioritized you.

This is an area where I need you to shake it up, stir it up a little bit because I've been trying to control things that are completely out of my control.

I've been in this area moving ahead of you, God, and that it's it may not be disobedience, it may be delayed obedience, but nonetheless I'm operating outside of your will for me.

And so I want us to, we can go on this for hours, like we have in the past, but I really want to just highlight 1 thing that you said back in 2019, you were the teacher you were on the stage, and I was sitting there a star pupil in 1 of the first 3 rows, and I was just that pen in hand just scribing notes and I and you said, You don't always have to be present to be productive.

Okay, 2019, you said this, you don't always have to be present to be productive.

P out, Can you break this down for all the high achieving recovering workaholics in the room?

That's crazy that you remember that I said that in

You don't have to be present to be productive.

And so what's really interesting is I'm good for an afternoon nap.

Like anyone who really really knows me like in the afternoon if you cannot get a hold of me I might be curled up somewhere with my blanket and my pillow because I work until like 3 a.m.

And I had a friend who said she had FaceTimed me and I was startled I woke up and she's like you're napping?

And the way she looked at me, like she looked at me crazy and I said, I know, I know you're not fixing your mouth to talk to me like that.

Like, I don't have to be present to be productive.

Like I have set up my business in a way that works for me.

And so I just, I just listen, everyone's working at their own pace and everyone's doing what's best for them, right?

And so if you set up the right systems and processes and people, this is not just limited to your business.

It could be limited to your households, how you run your households, right?

Because many of us as women, I mean, let's not talk about the men, but you know, I mean, we'd be running things in the house, but like, yeah, like I don't have to be fully present.

I, I, I've designed my life in a way where I can take those off.

I, I can do whatever I want to do and still make money in my sleep.

I can still come up for air and all the trains are running on time.

So I want, I just want people to know and understand that if you put the right things in place, right?

And that's a whole other conversation on podcast.

And that could look different for every single person, by the way.

You can still be very productive and work less.

This has been such a timely and rich conversation, Pollyanna.

If there were 1 point from our entire discussion on the need to take a detox, a time off, a vacation, whatever you call it, what would you recommend the ladies put in their back pocket?

What I would recommend is that when somebody asks you, how are you?

And we've gotten to this cadence where people ask the question, but they're not ready to receive the answer.

Like I don't like we jump on a zoom call or a phone call.

We just, we just skim it as if it as if actually I'm not doing okay today.

Can we sit here and just hold space for a minute before talking about the project, the deadline?

Like, I'm not doing okay today, and I'm trying to figure it out.

And I'm showing up on this call with you, despite not feeling like I want to, right?

Human, and we need to do a better job of listening.

Even listening to what people don't say, watching and feeling for someone's body posture, their heart posture, right?

Like, if we're friends, I mean, there are some people in my life in which I know, I know for a fact like something's off, I can feel it.

Like I know, like either they disappear from the internet or like their pattern is off, their routine is off, I can kind of tell.

Like checking in, a text to say what's up.

A text just to say what's up, I'm thinking about you, period.

So think of 3 people who you can check on today that maybe you haven't heard from or talked to in a minute and just send them a text to say hi.

Let them know that you're thinking about them, you're praying for them, let them know, you know, if they, if they should they need anything.

I know when I have anxiety attacks or panic attacks, and I'll end here, there is 1 particular person outside of my parents, there's 1 particular person, her name is Siobhan, and she has been my lifeline for numerous years.

And there are times I've called her and I was so anxiety ridden that I couldn't even get a word out.

And she knew it was me because she could feel my energy.

And so it's just like, man, like this conversation, the themes, friendship, intimacy, prayer, right, active listening skills, All of those are really important when you're going through your seasonal detox, whether you're doing and practicing these things with others or within yourself.

I'm so grateful that we got to have this conversation and I'm sure you'll be back again because these ladies need to hear it.

The last thing I'll share with you ladies, make sure that you understand your personal habits can become your business principles.

So if you are not heeding the words that my sister shared today.

habits can become your business principles.

Take this, write it down, sit at the feet of Jesus, and just invite him into your transformation process.

See all Pauleanna Reid transcripts on Youtube

Unplug: Take A Seasonal Detox w/ Guest @PauleannaReid | Seasons of Life: The Podcast