- The piece discusses the issue of elected judges in America
- It highlights the lack of public accountability in judicial elections
- Many judges run unopposed and campaigns often lack serious competition
- The piece criticizes the use of misleading and irrelevant campaign ads
- It discusses the problem of judges ruling more harshly in election years
- The conflict of interest in judges accepting campaign donations from lawyers is highlighted
- The piece mentions instances of judges targeting potential future defendants for contributions
- It concludes by mentioning the disciplinary hearing of a judge accused of showing explicit photos to a colleague.

- A judge was removed from the bench for showing explicit photos to a colleague
- Judges often receive campaign money from businesses and special interests
- Studies show that judges vote in favor of contributors who appear before them
- PACs and Super PACs are getting involved in judicial races
- The system of electing judges is problematic and undermines faith in the judiciary
- Changes are needed to ensure a more representative and fair justice system

The vast majority of US judges are elected, forcing many judges to pander to the electorate and accept campaign money in order to keep their jobs. This seems slightly troubling…

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-♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ Our top story tonight...

-♪ ♪ -...is judges, wearers of America's only formal muumus.

Judges occupy an exalted position in American life, but as important as they are, we tend not to think about them very much unless 1 of them makes news, as happened earlier this month.

A federal court last month lifted Alabama's ban on same-sex marriage, but Roy Moore, the state's Supreme Court Chief Justice, ordered state judges to ignore the federal ruling.

Yes, Alabama Judge Roy Moore refused an order to let gay people marry, living up to his state slogan, Alabama, boldly refusing to accept diversity and the inevitable since 1819.

Now, just out of interest, what was his judicial reasoning for such a decision?

I think that gay marriage is an alteration of the definition of marriage, and the United States Supreme Court does not have the authority, or the federal courts do not have the authority to interpret a word that disputes the Constitution.

Not only can the Supreme Court override a state, that's basically its job.

That's like telling Dill it can't ruin any food stuff it comes into contact with.

You might be thinking, how did that man get to become the highest judicial officer in the state?

Well, like 85% of state judges in America, he was elected.

39 states hold elections for judges, and America is virtually alone in doing this.

In fact, there's only 1 other country on Earth that does it on this scale.

A country you think about so little, you haven't even realized that's not Bolivia, this is Bolivia.

Actually, actually, that's still not Bolivia, this is Bolivia.

America has been electing judges since the early 1800s.

And the thing is, it all began from a good impulse.

Judicial elections originated as a reform measure.

So people were concerned that, you know, judges were being selected behind closed doors.

There wasn't any kind of public accountability.

Okay, and public accountability sounds great.

The problem is, for many judges nowadays, there's almost none of that.

County, 150 out of 151 incumbent judges ran unopposed.

And come on, they could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate.

Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wig.

Or, I'll tell you what, you're in L.A., just pretend you're considering Blake Lively for the job.

And the problem is, whenever a judge does face a challenger, they have to run like a politician.

And that's why many states are subjected to the bizarre spectacle of ads like these.

Hi, I'm Alan Loughry, and I'm running for our Supreme Court.

In my family room, my wife, Kelly Loughrey, and our son, Justice Loughrey.

Yep, I call my son Justice, I call my dog Preamble, and I call my penis the gavel.

And sometimes, campaigns opt to sell a judge with sheer catchiness.

Paul Steelystairs got him running scared and he'll take them down 1 by 1.

Paul Newby, he's a tough old judge, respected everywhere.

Am I supposed to vote for that man or root for him to catch them Duke boys?

Could any commercial be less relevant to a judge's qualifications for the job?

Greg Beard for Rapids Parish District Court Judge.

When times are tough, this dive team stands ready.

Because when I'm choosing a judge, the only thing I really care about is, who can hold their breath the longest?

Here's the thing, all 3 of the men in those ads won their elections.

And the stupid ads are actually the least problematic.

What's far more worrisome is when judges run ads like these.

Without blinking an eye, Judge Kenneth Ingram sentenced the killer to die.

Michael Oster is the only candidate for judge who has put our worst criminals on death row.

My privilege to sentence you to life in prison without parole.

There are some jobs where that kind of occupational relish is inappropriate.

If you're having a colonoscopy, you don't want to hear, It is my privilege to insert this camera deep inside your anus.

The problem with an elected judiciary is sometimes the right decision is neither easy nor popular.

And yet, campaigns force judges to look over their shoulder on every ruling.

Because while political attack ads can be aggressive, judicial attack ads can be downright horrifying.

I was convicted of stabbing my victims with a kitchen knife.

Of shooting my ex-girlfriend and murdering her sister in front of our child.

Of sexual assault on a mom and her 10-year-old daughter.

On appeal, Justice Thomas Kilbride sided with us...

Good luck getting back into whatever you were watching after seeing that commercial.

Sheldon and his friends are gonna have to get into some pretty wacky mishaps to wipe the memory of that away.

Now, what those evil shadows are saying sounds awful, but here's the problem.

None of those 3 men were actually set free by Judge Kilbride, but in each case, he merely questioned the legality of procedural points in their trials, which is a judge's job.

But there's no room in campaigns for nuance.

That's why you don't see bumper stickers reading, justice is complicated, requiring the sublimation of our basic instincts, which, though difficult, is the only thing that separates us from the anarchy of beasts, Kilbride 2015.

The danger is, though, the danger is, if ads like those get inside judges' heads and make them rule more harshly to protect themselves in the future.

There are some academic studies that have suggested that judges do change their behavior.

So, for example, in election years, if you look at judges' sentencing decisions, Judges tend to be harder on crime.

Because you shouldn't be sitting in a prison going, how did you get 15 months for public urination?

Well, you know, it was October in an election year.

I should have known what I was getting into.

And It's not like appointing judges is the perfect system.

We can all name 1 that we don't like, and it's usually Antonin Scalia.

Or, in his more palatable form, a bulldog dressed as Antonin Scalia.

Elections are inherently compromising because campaigns cost money, and that money has to come from somewhere, which leads to the horrifying spectacle of judges hitting up lawyers for donations.

For attorneys like Jules Olsman, this is the most expensive time

Election season is when lawyers like him have to dig deepest into their wallets.

That's because every hour or so, he'll get a call from a judge's campaign looking for a contribution.

Judges asking lawyers to give them campaign money is the definition of a conflict of interest.

Think about it, giving money to judges wouldn't be acceptable in a state fair squash growing competition.

Because I know that that knobbly pile of shit is not the nicest squash you've seen this afternoon.

It looks like the Jolly Green Giant's dick fell off, and everyone here knows it, Gladys.

Sometimes, judges will even shake lawyers down after the election is over.

Democratic Appeals Court Judge Jim Sharp sent a passive-aggressive email to a Texas attorney who had donated to his unsuccessful opponent, which said, I trust that you will see your way clear to contribute to my campaign in an amount reflective of the $2,000 contribution you made towards my defeat.

-♪ Wink emoticon ♪ -♪ Wink emoticon ♪ And the fact that he's shaking him down isn't even the part of that email I find most offensive.

I guess we should all just be glad he stopped short of going full wink emoji.

-♪ Wink emoji ♪ -Incredibly, judges can even target potential future defendants, as a Philadelphia traffic court judge candidate named Willie Singletary did at a biker rally.

I'm running for traffic court judge, right?

I need some money, I got some stuff I gotta get to do.

So I can hear all these different point out.

Are there divorce judges going to Ikea's right now saying, look, I know some of you guys won't last, who's got 50 bucks for me?

Now, you'll be glad to hear that that judge is no longer on the bench, although it wasn't for taking those contributions, but rather because he allegedly once showed cell phone pictures of his genitals to a colleague, an accusation that yielded a disciplinary hearing whose magnificent opinion featured the phrase, -"The judicial penis." -$PENIS -$PENIS And determined he had intentionally groomed his penis for photography.

Now, that's not really relevant to the story that I'm telling right now, but I think you'll agree, you had to know that.

Judges also frequently benefit from campaign money given by businesses and special interests.

And while they may claim that that doesn't affect them, multiple studies have suggested otherwise.

We looked at the Ohio Supreme Court and asked the question of how often they vote for contributors who appear before them.

And the answer was, overall, about 70% of the time.

And in the case of 1 justice, Terrence O'Donnell, 91% of the time.

Now, Justice O'Donnell says that there is no connection there, but the point is, he still said, sure, why not, in response to people who gave him money 91% of the time.

And the only other person who does that is Nicolas Cage.

It's been a romp, but it's been a disaster.

And to be fair, many judges don't like this system.

Even Ohio Supreme Court Justice Paul Feiffer has said, I never felt so much like a hooker down by the bus station in any race I've ever been in as I did in a judicial race.

Which does explain Pfeiffer's campaign slogan, Justice for All, No Kissing on the Mouth, Though, I Have to Save Something for the Man I Fall in Love With.

-♪ ♪ -And increasingly, since Citizens United, PACs and Super PACs are getting involved.

That was sponsored by a PAC called the North Carolina Judicial Coalition, whose funders include businesses like RJ Reynolds.

That was sponsored by something called JustPack, whose donors include Coke Industries, the U.S.

Chamber of Commerce, and John Deere Pack.

Yes, the people who make tractors also apparently help make judicial decisions for the people of Illinois.

And look, when you have a system where judges are serenaded with banjos, shake down lawyers for money, compare themselves to prostitutes, and live in constant fear of tractors, you have a problem.

Because faith in a strong, independent judiciary is essential for a civilized society.

Without it, we're settling disputes either in thunder domes or via the Purge.

still can't work out how that thing works.

Is the East Coast purge an hour before the purge central time?

In which case, nobody tweet about it, it spoils it for everyone.

Look, if we're going to keep electing judges, we may have to alter our idea of what justice is.

In fact, at the very least, to be a bit more representative, we should tweak the blindfolded lady holding scales to put a tip jar in her hand and give her a fucking winking emoji for her face.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ Our top story tonight... -♪ ♪ -...is judges, wearers of America's only formal muumus. Judges occupy an exalted position in American life, but as important as they are, we tend not to think about them very much unless 1 of them makes news, as happened earlier this month.

Speaker 1: A federal court last month lifted Alabama's ban on same-sex marriage, but Roy Moore, the state's Supreme Court Chief Justice, ordered state judges to ignore the federal ruling.

Speaker 0: Yes, Alabama Judge Roy Moore refused an order to let gay people marry, living up to his state slogan, Alabama, boldly refusing to accept diversity and the inevitable since 1819. Now, just out of interest, what was his judicial reasoning for such a decision?

Speaker 2: I think that gay marriage is an alteration of the definition of marriage, and the United States Supreme Court does not have the authority, or the federal courts do not have the authority to interpret a word that disputes the Constitution.

Speaker 0: Hold on. Hold on. Not only can the Supreme Court override a state, that's basically its job. That's like telling Dill it can't ruin any food stuff it comes into contact with. That's what Dill does.

Get out of everyone's food, Dill! You're a filthy weed, you wrecking ball! Now, you might... You might be thinking, how did that man get to become the highest judicial officer in the state? Well, like 85% of state judges in America, he was elected.

39 states hold elections for judges, and America is virtually alone in doing this. In fact, there's only 1 other country on Earth that does it on this scale. And guess which? You're wrong, it's Bolivia. A country you think about so little, you haven't even realized that's not Bolivia, this is Bolivia.

Actually, actually, that's still not Bolivia, this is Bolivia. Or is it? Or is it? This game is never not gonna be fun. Now...

America has been electing judges since the early 1800s. And the thing is, it all began from a good impulse.

Speaker 3: Judicial elections originated as a reform measure. So people were concerned that, you know, judges were being selected behind closed doors. There wasn't any kind of public accountability.

Speaker 0: Okay, and public accountability sounds great. The problem is, for many judges nowadays, there's almost none of that. Most run unopposed. Last year in L.A. County, 150 out of 151 incumbent judges ran unopposed.

And come on, they could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate. Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wig. Or, I'll tell you what, you're in L.A., just pretend you're considering Blake Lively for the job. Movie studios do that all the time. And the problem is, whenever a judge does face a challenger, they have to run like a politician.

And that's why many states are subjected to the bizarre spectacle of ads like these.

Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Alan Loughry, and I'm running for our Supreme Court. It's Loughry as in law and free. This is my house. Come on in. -♪ Yes, sir.

♪ -♪ Yes, sir.

Speaker 0: ♪

Speaker 4: There's the kitchen. Something smells good. In my family room, my wife, Kelly Loughrey, and our son, Justice Loughrey. That's right, Justice Loughrey.

Speaker 5: Yes, sir.

Speaker 0: Yep, I call my son Justice, I call my dog Preamble, and I call my penis the gavel. Vote for me." Boom. Boom. Boom, boom, boom. Whoo!

And sometimes, campaigns opt to sell a judge with sheer catchiness.

Speaker 6: There's a judge they call Paul Newby. He's got criminals on the run. Paul Steelystairs got him running scared and he'll take them down 1 by 1. Paul Newby, he's a tough old judge, respected everywhere. Paul Newby, justice tough but fair.

Paul Newby, criminals best beware. LAUGHTER

Speaker 0: What just happened? Am I supposed to vote for that man or root for him to catch them Duke boys? And look, I know what you're thinking. Could any commercial be less relevant to a judge's qualifications for the job? I give you...

Greg Beard.

Speaker 7: Search and rescue in Rapides Parish. Here's volunteer diver Greg Beard. We have to know what we're doing. Study, train, trust our team. We do this because it helps people.

Greg Beard for Rapids Parish District Court Judge. When times are tough, this dive team stands ready.

Speaker 0: Of course, of course, it makes sense. Because when I'm choosing a judge, the only thing I really care about is, who can hold their breath the longest? -$1,000,000. Here's the thing, all 3 of the men in those ads won their elections. They're judges now, judging people.

And the stupid ads are actually the least problematic. What's far more worrisome is when judges run ads like these.

Speaker 6: Without blinking an eye, Judge Kenneth Ingram sentenced the killer to die.

Speaker 1: Michael Oster is the only candidate for judge who has put our worst criminals on death row.

Speaker 3: My privilege to sentence you to life in prison without parole.

Speaker 0: Wait. It's your privilege? At best, it's your duty. There are some jobs where that kind of occupational relish is inappropriate. If you're having a colonoscopy, you don't want to hear, It is my privilege to insert this camera deep inside your anus.

-... -... The problem with an elected judiciary is sometimes the right decision is neither easy nor popular. And yet, campaigns force judges to look over their shoulder on every ruling. Because while political attack ads can be aggressive, judicial attack ads can be downright horrifying.

Speaker 8: I was convicted of stabbing my victims with a kitchen knife.

Speaker 9: Of shooting my ex-girlfriend and murdering her sister in front of our child.

Speaker 7: Of sexual assault on a mom and her 10-year-old daughter. And I slashed their throats.

Speaker 10: On appeal, Justice Thomas Kilbride sided with us... ...Over law enforcement or victims. Oh,

Speaker 0: my God. Good luck getting back into whatever you were watching after seeing that commercial. Sheldon and his friends are gonna have to get into some pretty wacky mishaps to wipe the memory of that away. Now, what those evil shadows are saying sounds awful, but here's the problem. None of those 3 men were actually set free by Judge Kilbride, but in each case, he merely questioned the legality of procedural points in their trials, which is a judge's job.

But there's no room in campaigns for nuance. That's why you don't see bumper stickers reading, justice is complicated, requiring the sublimation of our basic instincts, which, though difficult, is the only thing that separates us from the anarchy of beasts, Kilbride 2015. The danger is, though, the danger is, if ads like those get inside judges' heads and make them rule more harshly to protect themselves in the future. And the problem is, that does happen.

Speaker 3: There are some academic studies that have suggested that judges do change their behavior. So, for example, in election years, if you look at judges' sentencing decisions, Judges tend to be harder on crime.

Speaker 0: That's terrifying. Because you shouldn't be sitting in a prison going, how did you get 15 months for public urination? Well, you know, it was October in an election year. I should have known what I was getting into. And It's not like appointing judges is the perfect system.

We can all name 1 that we don't like, and it's usually Antonin Scalia. Or, or, or, no, no, no, no, no. Or, in his more palatable form, a bulldog dressed as Antonin Scalia.

Speaker 5: So... People think...

Speaker 0: Elections are inherently compromising because campaigns cost money, and that money has to come from somewhere, which leads to the horrifying spectacle of judges hitting up lawyers for donations.

Speaker 5: For attorneys like Jules Olsman, this is the most expensive time

Speaker 10: of the year. Election season is when lawyers like him have to dig deepest into their wallets. That's because every hour or so, he'll get a call from a judge's campaign looking for a contribution. It's very hard to say no.

Speaker 9: It's impassable to say no.

Speaker 0: Judges asking lawyers to give them campaign money is the definition of a conflict of interest. Think about it, giving money to judges wouldn't be acceptable in a state fair squash growing competition. Oh, really? Gladys gets first place? How much money did she give you?

Because I know that that knobbly pile of shit is not the nicest squash you've seen this afternoon. It looks like the Jolly Green Giant's dick fell off, and everyone here knows it, Gladys. Everyone knows it. -... -...

Sometimes, judges will even shake lawyers down after the election is over. Democratic Appeals Court Judge Jim Sharp sent a passive-aggressive email to a Texas attorney who had donated to his unsuccessful opponent, which said, I trust that you will see your way clear to contribute to my campaign in an amount reflective of the $2,000 contribution you made towards my defeat. Wink emoticon. -♪ Wink emoticon ♪ -♪ Wink emoticon ♪ And the fact that he's shaking him down isn't even the part of that email I find most offensive. It's the wink emoticon.

I guess we should all just be glad he stopped short of going full wink emoji. -♪ Wink emoji ♪ -Incredibly, judges can even target potential future defendants, as a Philadelphia traffic court judge candidate named Willie Singletary did at a biker rally.

Speaker 5: I'm running for traffic court judge, right? And I need some money. I'm gonna tell you, I'm just like this. I need some money, I got some stuff I gotta get to do. So I can hear all these different point out.

Y'all don't need me in traffic court. Am I right about it? Yeah! Yeah!

Speaker 0: Do all judges do this? Are there divorce judges going to Ikea's right now saying, look, I know some of you guys won't last, who's got 50 bucks for me? Cough up. Now, you'll be glad to hear that that judge is no longer on the bench, although it wasn't for taking those contributions, but rather because he allegedly once showed cell phone pictures of his genitals to a colleague, an accusation that yielded a disciplinary hearing whose magnificent opinion featured the phrase, -"The judicial penis." -$PENIS -$PENIS And determined he had intentionally groomed his penis for photography. Now, that's not really relevant to the story that I'm telling right now, but I think you'll agree, you had to know that.

You deserve to know that. And look, it gets... It gets 1 step worse. 1 step worse. Judges also frequently benefit from campaign money given by businesses and special interests.

And while they may claim that that doesn't affect them, multiple studies have suggested otherwise.

Speaker 11: We looked at the Ohio Supreme Court and asked the question of how often they vote for contributors who appear before them. And the answer was, overall, about 70% of the time. And in the case of 1 justice, Terrence O'Donnell, 91% of the time.

Speaker 0: Now, Justice O'Donnell says that there is no connection there, but the point is, he still said, sure, why not, in response to people who gave him money 91% of the time. And the only other person who does that is Nicolas Cage. That's the only... It's been a disaster, Nicolas. It's been a romp, but it's been a disaster.

And to be fair, many judges don't like this system. Even Ohio Supreme Court Justice Paul Feiffer has said, I never felt so much like a hooker down by the bus station in any race I've ever been in as I did in a judicial race. Which does explain Pfeiffer's campaign slogan, Justice for All, No Kissing on the Mouth, Though, I Have to Save Something for the Man I Fall in Love With. -♪ ♪ -And increasingly, since Citizens United, PACs and Super PACs are getting involved. In fact, remember the banjo ad?

The 1 you're still humming in your head? That was sponsored by a PAC called the North Carolina Judicial Coalition, whose funders include businesses like RJ Reynolds. And remember this 1?

Speaker 8: I was convicted of stabbing my victims with a kitchen knife.

Speaker 9: Of shooting my ex-girlfriend and murdering her sister in front of our child.

Speaker 0: That was sponsored by something called JustPack, whose donors include Coke Industries, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, and John Deere Pack. Yes, the people who make tractors also apparently help make judicial decisions for the people of Illinois. And look, when you have a system where judges are serenaded with banjos, shake down lawyers for money, compare themselves to prostitutes, and live in constant fear of tractors, you have a problem. Because faith in a strong, independent judiciary is essential for a civilized society.

Without it, we're settling disputes either in thunder domes or via the Purge.

Speaker 5: And I

Speaker 0: still can't work out how that thing works. Are there any rules? Are time zones a factor in the purge? Is the East Coast purge an hour before the purge central time? In which case, nobody tweet about it, it spoils it for everyone.

Look, if we're going to keep electing judges, we may have to alter our idea of what justice is. In fact, at the very least, to be a bit more representative, we should tweak the blindfolded lady holding scales to put a tip jar in her hand and give her a fucking winking emoji for her face. Thanks.

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