- John Oliver discusses the problem with April Fool's Day and pranks
- He mentions that April Fool's Day was not actually invented by FDR
- Pranks are considered terrible and anyone excited for April Fool's Day may be a sociopath
- Instead of playing mean tricks, he suggests asking for money for another improv class to disappoint loved ones
- He encourages viewers to take the "last week tonight no-prank pledge" and not engage in any practical jokes
- He hopes to restore the original meaning of April 1st as a day to do taxes.

April Fools’ Day is awful. Please stand with John Oliver and take the Last Week Tonight No-Prank Pledge.

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I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight.

We are off the air this week because to boost ratings on HBO, I plan to murder and dismember a friend of mine.

Anyway, anyway, this season, this season, I'll do it.

Anyway, this season, we've covered the tobacco industry, voting rights in the American territories, and our country's infrastructure.

But right now, I'd like to talk about a serious problem, April Fool's Day.

That is to say, it is a mockery of the very concept that usually ends in a fist fight.

But you may not know that April Fool's Day was actually invented by FDR in 1934 as a way to raise national morale during the Great Depression.

You trusted me and I betrayed that trust.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isn't betrayal fun?

Well, now, I want you to sit in that terrible feeling for a moment.

Because you may have been laughing on the outside, but on the inside, admit it, you were sad.

Second of all, I'm sorry I did that to you.

Anyone who claims to be excited for April Fool's Day is probably a sociopath.

-...because what they're really saying is, I cannot wait to hurt the people close to me.

And if you want to break your family's hearts, don't play a mean trick on them.

Just ask them for money for another improv class.

And you can do that any time of year, and you will shatter them.

Now, not to mention, we don't need a special holiday to disappoint our loved ones.

We do that enough on every other holiday by accident.

Okay, Nana, when are you gonna yell, Christmas fools and give me my real present?

With that being said, I want to help you have the best April Fool's Day ever.

So close your eyes right now, do it, close them, and visualize the greatest practical joke you can possibly imagine.

And now, never do that thing you thought of, ever.

Don't even tell anyone you thought of it.

Everyone watching this, please raise your right hand and take the last week tonight no-prank pledge.

I solemnly swear that on this April Fool's Day I will not post a fake engagement photo on Facebook like some kind of asshole.

I will not be sensitive to the digital world like some kind

Nor will I perpetuate a celebrity death hoax.

In fact, I will not play any practical jokes.

Thank you very much for taking the last week tonight no prank pledge.

Hopefully With your support, we can restore the original meaning of April the first, the day we traditionally look at our calendars and think, -"Oh, shit, I really have to do my taxes." -$30,000.

All right, last week tonight, we'll be back next Sunday with a whole new show.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there. I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight. We are off the air this week because to boost ratings on HBO, I plan to murder and dismember a friend of mine. Apparently that's how it works now. Anyway, anyway, this season, this season, I'll do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it. What are you... What are you applauding for? What are you encouraging?

Anyway, this season, we've covered the tobacco industry, voting rights in the American territories, and our country's infrastructure. But right now, I'd like to talk about a serious problem, April Fool's Day. April Fool's Day is to comedy, as St. Patrick's Day is to Irish culture. That is to say, it is a mockery of the very concept that usually ends in a fist fight.

But you may not know that April Fool's Day was actually invented by FDR in 1934 as a way to raise national morale during the Great Depression. April Fool! That's not true at all. I made it up. You trusted me and I betrayed that trust.

I betrayed you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isn't betrayal fun? That felt bad, didn't it? Well, now, I want you to sit in that terrible feeling for a moment. Because you may have been laughing on the outside, but on the inside, admit it, you were sad.

Well, First of all, welcome to my brain. Second of all, I'm sorry I did that to you. That was a prank. And pranks are terrible. Anyone who claims to be excited for April Fool's Day is probably a sociopath.

-...because what they're really saying is, I cannot wait to hurt the people close to me. I can't wait. And if you want to break your family's hearts, don't play a mean trick on them. Just ask them for money for another improv class. Do it, done.

And you can do that any time of year, and you will shatter them. Now, not to mention, we don't need a special holiday to disappoint our loved ones. We do that enough on every other holiday by accident. Okay, Nana, when are you gonna yell, Christmas fools and give me my real present? This sweater is an abomination!

With that being said, I want to help you have the best April Fool's Day ever. So close your eyes right now, do it, close them, and visualize the greatest practical joke you can possibly imagine. And now, never do that thing you thought of, ever. Don't even tell anyone you thought of it. You're a monster.

In fact... In fact, let's do this properly. Everyone watching this, please raise your right hand and take the last week tonight no-prank pledge. Repeat after me. I solemnly swear that on this April Fool's Day I will not post a fake engagement photo on Facebook like some kind of asshole.

Speaker 1: I will not be sensitive to the digital world like some kind

Speaker 0: of asshole. Nor will I perpetuate a celebrity death hoax.

Speaker 1: Nor will I perpetuate a celebrity death hoax.

Speaker 0: Because that makes people sad.

Speaker 1: Because that makes people sad.

Speaker 0: In fact, I will not play any practical jokes.

Speaker 1: In fact, I will not play any practical jokes.

Speaker 0: And if I see someone planning a prank. And if I see someone planning a prank.

Speaker 1: We need a dick right now.

Speaker 2: Stop being a dick.

Speaker 1: Stop being a dick.

Speaker 2: Stop being a dick. Stop being a dick. Seriously, stop being a dick.

Speaker 1: Seriously, stop being a dick.

Speaker 0: Thank you very much for taking the last week tonight no prank pledge. Hopefully With your support, we can restore the original meaning of April the first, the day we traditionally look at our calendars and think, -"Oh, shit, I really have to do my taxes." -$30,000. Oh, shit! All right, last week tonight, we'll be back next Sunday with a whole new show. Till then, thank you for watching!

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April Fools' Day (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)