- The migrant crisis in Europe is escalating, with hundreds of thousands of asylum seekers risking everything to reach Europe.
- The scale of the crisis is difficult to comprehend, with hundreds of thousands of people on the move within Europe and millions being hosted in Turkey, Lebanon, and Jordan.
- The media's portrayal of migrants has been problematic, with David Cameron referring to them as a "swarm" and some media outlets using misleading footage to create fear.
- The reality is that these migrants are coming from various countries and fleeing different circumstances, such as civil war and economic stagnation.
- Europe has yet to create an effective system to process the influx of people, with different countries having different application processes and some being overwhelmed and underfunded.
- Germany has been offering a warm welcome to immigrants, while other countries like Denmark and Hungary have been actively hostile.
- Hungary has been responsible for mistreating refugees, with disturbing videos showing them being fed like animals and a camera woman kicking and tripping migrants.
- Some countries, like Slovakia, are offering asylum only to Christians and not Muslims, using the lack of mosques as an excuse.

- The video discusses the misconceptions and negative attitudes towards Muslim immigrants and refugees in Europe.
- It highlights the benefits of immigration and the need for new citizens in Europe due to declining populations.
- The video emphasizes the hard work and resilience of migrants and refugees and challenges the stereotypes of laziness.
- It argues for more compassionate and supportive policies towards migrants and refugees, including expediting application processes and proper funding for refugee organizations.
- The video concludes with a surprise for a refugee named Najeen, who is a fan of the TV show "Days of Our Lives."

Millions of migrants seeking asylum in Europe face hostility, racism, and red tape. John Oliver does one admittedly tiny thing for one of them.

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If-if you've watched the news at all lately, you cannot have missed what has been happening there.

Europe's migrant crisis is getting worse by the day.

A migrant crisis spiraling out of control.

Hundreds of thousands of asylum seekers are risking everything.

A human wave washing over Europe's southern shores.

Hundreds of thousands of migrants have streamed into Europe, the largest influx there since the end of World War II.

The largest since the end of World War II.

And remember, millions of people back then were searching both for a better life and for the booth where it was rumored you could slap dead Hitler.

And look, the scale of this story can be hard to get your head around.

Hundreds of thousands of people are on the move just within Europe, and another 4000000 are being hosted in Turkey, Lebanon, and Jordan.

And when numbers get that high, they can be hard to comprehend.

It's like when someone tells you the size of the audience of NCIS New Orleans.

How many Navy-based crimes could there possibly be in New Orleans?

And when you are dealing with a mass of people that large, you really want to be a little careful with how you describe them.

Unfortunately, David Cameron, noted alleged swine fallatio enthusiast, recently referred to a swarm of people coming across the Mediterranean.

And that language matters, because a swarm of anything sounds terrifying, no matter what it is.

If I hear there are a lot of kittens coming my way, I'm going to be delighted.

But if I hear there is a swarm of kittens approaching, I'm grabbing a shotgun and I'm getting to high ground Because I'm not gonna let those furry fuckers take me alive.

And here in the U.S., some in the media have chosen to reduce the migrant population to 1 simple stereotype.

A new video surfaces online showing why some are worried Europe is opening its doors to potential terrorists.

Those are reportedly Muslim refugees on a train in Europe chanting Allah Akbar or God is great.

Now, to be clear, we're not saying that any of those people are terrorists or in any way affiliated with a terror group, but it does highlight just how many of these refugees who are fleeing violence in Iraq and Syria are Muslim.

First, you don't get to claim that you're not calling those people terrorists when your lower third says, -"Terrorists inbound?" Question mark.

-$TRANSLATION NOTE If you are really not saying they're terrorists, maybe change that to something more accurate like, -"People take train." -$TRANSLATION NOTE Or, some wear hats, others less so.

And second, describing that as a new video that sheds light on the migrant crisis is a little misleading, because in researching this story, we found a version of that same video uploaded onto YouTube back in 2010, well before this migrant crisis even began.

And if you are going to use misleading old footage to try and make people frightened of Muslims, why stop there?

Just go the whole way and use a clip from True Lies.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's only about 10% more racist than what you did.

So let's just take a step back, because for the record, these people are coming from many different countries and fleeing everything from civil war to economic stagnation.

And while each story is unique, many of them are heartbreaking.

Disabled from birth, she cannot walk and made the dangerous crossing from Turkey last week.

I've been trying many things for the first time during this journey, like a train and a ship.

You're the first person I've met who said that.

But to understand why, you must know the world she escaped from.

Imagine you're 16 and you're always afraid to be dead at any minute.

I have to be an astronaut to go out and see...

Oh, I think that girl absolutely deserves to meet an alien and the queen.

And also, if she has time, a real human with feelings.

But unfortunately for Najeeb, and so many like her, Europe has yet to create an effective system to process this influx of people.

Every country has a different application process, and some are totally overwhelmed and underfunded.

We actually got our hands on a couple of registration forms that were given to refugees upon arrival.

This 1 was handed to a Syrian asylum seeker arriving in Greece on September the 5th.

It tells him to return for registration on December the 21st.

And that could be a tricky three-month wait, because he's not allowed to work in that time.

And yet, that is nothing compared to this form given to an Iraqi refugee in Turkey, telling him to come back on June 15th of 2017.

Which sounds bad, before you notice the pink sticky note added at the bottom clarifying that his actual date will be February 19th, 2020.

These people can't go 5 years without working.

And facing that kind of limbo, It's no wonder refugees want to try to push deeper into Europe.

And many of them are heading for 1 surprising country in particular that seems to actually want them.

They keep coming, thousands every day at the main train station in Munich, often greeted by applauding locals or welcoming volunteers.

It's no wonder that Germany is the preferred destination for so many refugees.

Amazingly, 1 of the warmest welcomes on offer to immigrants comes from Germany.

A country whose idea of a bedtime story is 2 children being left to die in the forest before being nearly cooked and eaten, and then murdering an old woman.

Unfortunately, many politicians in other countries than Germany have been actively hostile to anyone even considering settling within their borders.

We can't guarantee that you will be accepted here.

The Danish government has published these ads in a number of Lebanese newspapers.

The text is obviously written in Arabic, and it's telling migrants, don't come to Denmark.

Highlighting the tough regulations and constraints that await them there.

Denmark is so averse to taking people in, it's basically placing intentionally missed connections ads in other countries.

Me, Danish government official, you, person in a Lebanese refugee camp.

From the moment I saw you, I knew there was nothing between us and it could never work.

But even Denmark's approach seems friendly, next to the video apparently produced by the mayor of Ashtalom in Hungary, showing exactly how he and his police forces would prevent migrants from coming to his town.

First, you can add as much scary music as you want.

There is nothing imposing about 1 van driving alone on a country road.

The only message that that is sending to migrants is, make sure you wait for that 1 van to pass by.

Mayor, you do realize that border police and nightclub bouncers are not the same thing, right?

You look like you're about to throw someone out of Hungary because they didn't bring enough hot girls with them.

Hungary has been responsible for some of the ugliest mistreatment of refugees in Europe.

Disturbing cell phone video appears to show migrants at the main refugee camp here being fed like a herd of caged animals in a holding pen.

It's a shocking video that has garnered attention from around the world.

As waves of desperate migrants sprint from a holding camp in Hungary, a camera woman appears to trip a man running with his child in his arms.

The woman also kicks other migrants as they run, including a young girl.

Don't worry, I'm sure she can find a new 1 on actualmonster.com.

--LAUGHTER --To be fair, She later apologized, saying, I'm not a heartless, racist, children-kicking camera woman.

Which I can only presume means she's a loving, accepting, children-kicking camera woman, because the children-kicking part is not really up for debate anymore.

And Even those countries who are offering to take refugees are sometimes making those offers in the most insultingly selective way.

Slovakians saying that they're only gonna give asylum to Christians, they don't want Muslims, migrants coming into the country, Muslim asylum seekers, not least because they haven't got any mosques.

You can't take Muslims in because you don't have any mosques.

Mosques don't naturally occur in the wild due to erosion or particularly devout beavers.

Muslims can live anywhere that other humans can live.

Muslims are not like dolphins trying to resettle in Scottsdale, Arizona.

And when refugees are not being excluded on the basis of religion, they're being accused of being lazy freeloaders.

Just listen to 1 Polish MEP address the European Parliament.

If we abolished all benefits, then People who don't want to work and want to live from benefits wouldn't come to Poland and the rest of Europe.

People who want to work are precious, however, they are sent back, and we accept only those who don't want to work.

It's ridiculous policy leading to invasion of human trash.

Let us be clear, human trash, human garbage that doesn't want to work.

Those are some pretty strong words coming from the Polish 6 Flags guy.

And what he said is not just offensive, it's also wrong.

Research has shown that while there is some small cost in the short term, eventually, an influx of lower wage immigrants into a community tends to raise wages for everyone else.

And a working paper published last year by 4 economists found that immigration benefited local populations in 19 of the 20 industrialized countries they studied.

Adding immigrants makes things better 19 times out of 20.

That's a success rate matched only by Bacon and Paul Rudd.

And incidentally, it's just a little hard to hear these migrants and refugees being called lazy, considering how hard many of them have worked to reach Europe in the first place.

You really want to talk about lazy migrants, I'm a lazy migrant.

I left a country by airplane, and the only things I was escaping were fog, public indifference, and an almost certain future as the turtle of Prince Harry's entourage.

And The maddening thing, the maddening thing here is, Europe doesn't even need to do this for good reasons.

It can do it for selfish ones, because as a continent, it is in dire need of new citizens.

According to the UN, the average woman needs to have 2.1 children to maintain the population of a developed country.

But in the European Union, every single country is below that 2.1 level.

By 2050, some countries like Greece, Portugal, and Germany will see their populations drop by double-digit percentages, according to Pew.

If Europe doesn't open its doors to more migrants, this is not the changing face of Europe they should be frightened of.

And look, Not every single asylum seeker is going to be the perfect economic wellspring.

But instead of worrying about the hypothetical downside of letting these migrants in, countries should be more worried about the actual downside of turning them away.

If for no other reason, that you might miss out on someone like Najeen, who seems like she would improve any country that would have her.

Just listen to how she taught herself English.

How did you learn to speak such good English?

♪ Sunny and he just struggle Yeah, I love them both

♪ How can you not want this girl in your country?

And specifically, she loves EJ and Sammy.

In fact, even after weeks of total hell, mortal danger, and inhumane treatment, Najeeb's biggest complaint is that the show actually killed off EJ, who was her favorite character.

I mean, yes, you could argue that EJ basically blackmailed Sammy into marriage, and then impregnated her, and then worked for Sammy's arch-nemesis, Nicole Walker, who he then also impregnated, and then he kidnapped Sammy's baby and made her think it was dead, so Sammy shot him in the head.

And yes, yes, sure, EJ did then cheat on Sammy before their wedding with that trollop Abigail Devereaux.

But he still didn't deserve to die from yet another gunshot wound, even though, yes, it was at best reckless for him to have a secret meeting with hillbilly drug lord Clyde Weston in the middle of the fucking woods.

You and Sammy were so close to eternal happiness!

And any country would be lucky to have her.

And I know lots of people still have fears.

Fears that migrants will bankrupt social systems, which many studies show does not happen.

Fears that migrants might have an ISIS member lurking among them, which there has been no credible example of.

And no 1 is saying this is easy, but the fact it's so hard is not a reason to do less, it's a reason to do more.

From countries expediting their application process, to properly funding the UN High Commission for Refugees, whose fund for responding to Syrian refugees in neighboring countries is less than half of where it needs to be, to simply, and I know this sounds crazy, just not kicking them when they're moving around.

And there is actually 1 final thing that we thought we could do, and it is admittedly very small, and it is just for 1 refugee, but for Najeen, who was so justifiably saddened by the death of EJ from Days of Our Lives.

We made some calls, and we have a surprise that is literally just for you.

Not even my father would let me die in a pile of dirt.

My sister made sure that I survived the morgue and then she flew me to Germany where my father's witch doctors did their work.

Physically I'd been in a lull for months, but it took me a long time to be able to get away from him and his people after my resurrection.

Oh, I just can't imagine how horrible this was for you.

Coming back from the dead, that's not hard.

Have you seen what those migrants are going through?

$1,000 to bribe your way onto a rubber dinghy, and that's how you get across the Mediterranean?

And if you make it to the border of Turkey, they'll hand you a form offering you an appointment 5 years from now.

Then, if you're lucky, you get to navigate a barrage of bigotry and hatred from some asshole mayors in Hungary.

You know, there are some amazing people coming through that border.

I read about this incredible 16 year old girl from Kobani called Najin Mustafa.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Europe. You know, that thing Belgium is in. If-if you've watched the news at all lately, you cannot have missed what has been happening there.

Speaker 1: Europe's migrant crisis is getting worse by the day.

Speaker 2: A migrant crisis spiraling out of control.

Speaker 3: Hundreds of thousands of asylum seekers are risking everything.

Speaker 2: A human wave washing over Europe's southern shores.

Speaker 4: Hundreds of thousands of migrants have streamed into Europe, the largest influx there since the end of World War II.

Speaker 0: Wow. The largest since the end of World War II. And remember, millions of people back then were searching both for a better life and for the booth where it was rumored you could slap dead Hitler. And look, the scale of this story can be hard to get your head around. Hundreds of thousands of people are on the move just within Europe, and another 4000000 are being hosted in Turkey, Lebanon, and Jordan.

And when numbers get that high, they can be hard to comprehend. It's like when someone tells you the size of the audience of NCIS New Orleans. 17 million people? How's that even possible? How many Navy-based crimes could there possibly be in New Orleans?

This doesn't make any sense! And when you are dealing with a mass of people that large, you really want to be a little careful with how you describe them. Unfortunately, David Cameron, noted alleged swine fallatio enthusiast, recently referred to a swarm of people coming across the Mediterranean. And that language matters, because a swarm of anything sounds terrifying, no matter what it is. If I hear there are a lot of kittens coming my way, I'm going to be delighted.

But if I hear there is a swarm of kittens approaching, I'm grabbing a shotgun and I'm getting to high ground Because I'm not gonna let those furry fuckers take me alive. And here... And... And here in the U.S., some in the media have chosen to reduce the migrant population to 1 simple stereotype.

Speaker 2: A new video surfaces online showing why some are worried Europe is opening its doors to potential terrorists. Those are reportedly Muslim refugees on a train in Europe chanting Allah Akbar or God is great. Now, to be clear, we're not saying that any of those people are terrorists or in any way affiliated with a terror group, but it does highlight just how many of these refugees who are fleeing violence in Iraq and Syria are Muslim.

Speaker 0: Okay. Okay. First, you don't get to claim that you're not calling those people terrorists when your lower third says, -"Terrorists inbound?" Question mark. -$TRANSLATION NOTE If you are really not saying they're terrorists, maybe change that to something more accurate like, -"People take train." -$TRANSLATION NOTE Or, some wear hats, others less so. And second, describing that as a new video that sheds light on the migrant crisis is a little misleading, because in researching this story, we found a version of that same video uploaded onto YouTube back in 2010, well before this migrant crisis even began.

And if you are going to use misleading old footage to try and make people frightened of Muslims, why stop there? Just go the whole way and use a clip from True Lies.

Speaker 2: Now, to be clear, we're not saying that any of those people are terrorists or in any way affiliated with a terror group, but it does highlight just how many of these refugees who are fleeing violence in Iraq and Syria are Muslim.

Speaker 0: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's only about 10% more racist than what you did. So let's just take a step back, because for the record, these people are coming from many different countries and fleeing everything from civil war to economic stagnation. And while each story is unique, many of them are heartbreaking.

Speaker 5: Nujeen is 16 and from Kobane in Syria. Disabled from birth, she cannot walk and made the dangerous crossing from Turkey last week.

Speaker 6: I've been trying many things for the first time during this journey, like a train and a ship. So I just enjoyed it.

Speaker 5: You enjoyed it? Yeah. You're the first person I've met who said that. But to understand why, you must know the world she escaped from.

Speaker 6: Imagine you're 16 and you're always afraid to be dead at any minute.

Speaker 5: What is your dream?

Speaker 6: I have to be an astronaut to go out and see... And find an alien. Yes. So, I want to meet the queen. Yes.

Speaker 0: Oh, I think that girl absolutely deserves to meet an alien and the queen. And also, if she has time, a real human with feelings. But unfortunately for Najeeb, and so many like her, Europe has yet to create an effective system to process this influx of people. Every country has a different application process, and some are totally overwhelmed and underfunded. We actually got our hands on a couple of registration forms that were given to refugees upon arrival.

This 1 was handed to a Syrian asylum seeker arriving in Greece on September the 5th. It tells him to return for registration on December the 21st. And that could be a tricky three-month wait, because he's not allowed to work in that time. And yet, that is nothing compared to this form given to an Iraqi refugee in Turkey, telling him to come back on June 15th of 2017. Which sounds bad, before you notice the pink sticky note added at the bottom clarifying that his actual date will be February 19th, 2020.

And that is ridiculous. These people can't go 5 years without working. They're refugees, not René Zellweger. -♪ ♪ -♪ And... And facing that kind of limbo, It's no wonder refugees want to try to push deeper into Europe.

And many of them are heading for 1 surprising country in particular that seems to actually want them.

Speaker 7: They keep coming, thousands every day at the main train station in Munich, often greeted by applauding locals or welcoming volunteers. It's no wonder that Germany is the preferred destination for so many refugees.

Speaker 0: That's right. Amazingly, 1 of the warmest welcomes on offer to immigrants comes from Germany. A country whose idea of a bedtime story is 2 children being left to die in the forest before being nearly cooked and eaten, and then murdering an old woman. Sleep well! Unfortunately, many politicians in other countries than Germany have been actively hostile to anyone even considering settling within their borders.

Speaker 5: No way. You will not make the Netherlands home.

Speaker 8: Please don't come. It's risky to come. We can't guarantee that you will be accepted here.

Speaker 9: The Danish government has published these ads in a number of Lebanese newspapers. The text is obviously written in Arabic, and it's telling migrants, don't come to Denmark. Highlighting the tough regulations and constraints that await them there.

Speaker 0: That's right. Denmark is so averse to taking people in, it's basically placing intentionally missed connections ads in other countries. Me, Danish government official, you, person in a Lebanese refugee camp. From the moment I saw you, I knew there was nothing between us and it could never work. Perfect send.

-... But even Denmark's approach seems friendly, next to the video apparently produced by the mayor of Ashtalom in Hungary, showing exactly how he and his police forces would prevent migrants from coming to his town.

Speaker 5: Hungary is a bad choice. And Ashtalom is the worst. A bad choice. And the worst is yet to come.

Speaker 0: ♪♪ ♪♪ Okay. Okay. A few things there. First, you can add as much scary music as you want. There is nothing imposing about 1 van driving alone on a country road.

The only message that that is sending to migrants is, make sure you wait for that 1 van to pass by. And second of all, Mr. Mayor, you do realize that border police and nightclub bouncers are not the same thing, right? You look like you're about to throw someone out of Hungary because they didn't bring enough hot girls with them. And that, Mayor, is no outlier.

Hungary has been responsible for some of the ugliest mistreatment of refugees in Europe.

Speaker 4: Disturbing cell phone video appears to show migrants at the main refugee camp here being fed like a herd of caged animals in a holding pen.

Speaker 3: It's a shocking video that has garnered attention from around the world. As waves of desperate migrants sprint from a holding camp in Hungary, a camera woman appears to trip a man running with his child in his arms. The woman also kicks other migrants as they run, including a young girl. Now, the camera woman is out of a job.

Speaker 0: Oh, I'm sorry, she lost her job? That's absolutely terrible. Don't worry, I'm sure she can find a new 1 on actualmonster.com. --LAUGHTER --To be fair, She later apologized, saying, I'm not a heartless, racist, children-kicking camera woman. Which I can only presume means she's a loving, accepting, children-kicking camera woman, because the children-kicking part is not really up for debate anymore.

And Even those countries who are offering to take refugees are sometimes making those offers in the most insultingly selective way.

Speaker 10: Slovakians saying that they're only gonna give asylum to Christians, they don't want Muslims, migrants coming into the country, Muslim asylum seekers, not least because they haven't got any mosques.

Speaker 0: Oh, I'm sorry, Slovakia. You can't take Muslims in because you don't have any mosques. You do know you can build those, right? Mosques don't naturally occur in the wild due to erosion or particularly devout beavers. Muslims...

Muslims can live anywhere that other humans can live. Muslims are not like dolphins trying to resettle in Scottsdale, Arizona. And when refugees are not being excluded on the basis of religion, they're being accused of being lazy freeloaders. Just listen to 1 Polish MEP address the European Parliament.

Speaker 8: If we abolished all benefits, then People who don't want to work and want to live from benefits wouldn't come to Poland and the rest of Europe. People who want to work are precious, however, they are sent back, and we accept only those who don't want to work. It's ridiculous policy leading to invasion of human trash. Let us be clear, human trash, human garbage that doesn't want to work.

Speaker 0: Human garbage? Those are some pretty strong words coming from the Polish 6 Flags guy. And what he said is not just offensive, it's also wrong. Research has shown that while there is some small cost in the short term, eventually, an influx of lower wage immigrants into a community tends to raise wages for everyone else. And a working paper published last year by 4 economists found that immigration benefited local populations in 19 of the 20 industrialized countries they studied.

And think about that. Adding immigrants makes things better 19 times out of 20. That's a success rate matched only by Bacon and Paul Rudd. And incidentally, it's just a little hard to hear these migrants and refugees being called lazy, considering how hard many of them have worked to reach Europe in the first place. You really want to talk about lazy migrants, I'm a lazy migrant.

I left a country by airplane, and the only things I was escaping were fog, public indifference, and an almost certain future as the turtle of Prince Harry's entourage. I didn't want to be royal turtle. I didn't want to be royal turtle. And The maddening thing, the maddening thing here is, Europe doesn't even need to do this for good reasons. It can do it for selfish ones, because as a continent, it is in dire need of new citizens.

Speaker 11: According to the UN, the average woman needs to have 2.1 children to maintain the population of a developed country. But in the European Union, every single country is below that 2.1 level. By 2050, some countries like Greece, Portugal, and Germany will see their populations drop by double-digit percentages, according to Pew.

Speaker 0: That's true. If Europe doesn't open its doors to more migrants, this is not the changing face of Europe they should be frightened of. This is. This 1 right here. And look, Not every single asylum seeker is going to be the perfect economic wellspring.

But instead of worrying about the hypothetical downside of letting these migrants in, countries should be more worried about the actual downside of turning them away. If for no other reason, that you might miss out on someone like Najeen, who seems like she would improve any country that would have her. Just listen to how she taught herself English.

Speaker 4: How did you learn to speak such good English?

Speaker 6: At home with my favorite TV show. What's that? It's Days of Our Lives, where the... Where the... ♪ Sunny and he just struggle Yeah, I love them both

Speaker 0: ♪ How can you not want this girl in your country? She loves Days of Our Lives. She loves it. She loves Days of Our Lives. And specifically, she loves EJ and Sammy.

In fact, even after weeks of total hell, mortal danger, and inhumane treatment, Najeeb's biggest complaint is that the show actually killed off EJ, who was her favorite character. And frankly, she's right to be upset. EJ and Sammy were magic together. I mean, yes, you could argue that EJ basically blackmailed Sammy into marriage, and then impregnated her, and then worked for Sammy's arch-nemesis, Nicole Walker, who he then also impregnated, and then he kidnapped Sammy's baby and made her think it was dead, so Sammy shot him in the head. But you know what?

That's the kind of thing couples do. And besides, they got through all that. And yes, yes, sure, EJ did then cheat on Sammy before their wedding with that trollop Abigail Devereaux. But he still didn't deserve to die from yet another gunshot wound, even though, yes, it was at best reckless for him to have a secret meeting with hillbilly drug lord Clyde Weston in the middle of the fucking woods. You idiot, EJ!

How could you die? You and Sammy were so close to eternal happiness! Why, EJ? Why? Why, EJ?

My point is... -...my point is... -...my point is... -...my point is... -...my point is...

Najeeb has been through enough. And any country would be lucky to have her. And I know lots of people still have fears. Fears that migrants will bankrupt social systems, which many studies show does not happen. Fears that migrants might have an ISIS member lurking among them, which there has been no credible example of.

And no 1 is saying this is easy, but the fact it's so hard is not a reason to do less, it's a reason to do more. From countries expediting their application process, to properly funding the UN High Commission for Refugees, whose fund for responding to Syrian refugees in neighboring countries is less than half of where it needs to be, to simply, and I know this sounds crazy, just not kicking them when they're moving around. And... And it's a crazy idea. Just rein your leg in.

And there is actually 1 final thing that we thought we could do, and it is admittedly very small, and it is just for 1 refugee, but for Najeen, who was so justifiably saddened by the death of EJ from Days of Our Lives. We made some calls, and we have a surprise that is literally just for you. ♪♪ -♪♪ -♪♪

Speaker 4: No way. No, it's not.

Speaker 1: It's me.

Speaker 4: It can't be.

Speaker 1: You're trouble.

Speaker 7: It's you! It's you! How is that possible? How?

Speaker 1: Not even my father would let me die in a pile of dirt. My sister made sure that I survived the morgue and then she flew me to Germany where my father's witch doctors did their work. Physically I'd been in a lull for months, but it took me a long time to be able to get away from him and his people after my resurrection.

Speaker 4: -$1,000. Oh, I just can't imagine how horrible this was for you.

Speaker 1: It was nothing. Coming back from the dead, that's not hard. You know what's hard? Getting from Syria to Germany.

Speaker 4: Oh. Have you seen what those migrants are going through? It's insane.

Speaker 10: $1,000 to bribe your way onto a rubber dinghy, and that's how you get across the Mediterranean?

Speaker 4: And if you make it to the border of Turkey, they'll hand you a form offering you an appointment 5 years from now.

Speaker 10: Then, if you're lucky, you get to navigate a barrage of bigotry and hatred from some asshole mayors in Hungary.

Speaker 4: That's horrible. Someone tripping a child? If someone did that to my child?

Speaker 1: Yeah, he slapped her twice. Oh. You know, there are some amazing people coming through that border. I read about this incredible 16 year old girl from Kobani called Najin Mustafa.

Speaker 4: Najin Mustafa?

Speaker 1: Yes. Najin Mustafa. She's Al-Qaeda people? She's Al-Qaeda people. Maybe we'll get to meet her 1

Speaker 6: day. Maybe.

Speaker 4: But right now

Speaker 6: you

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Migrants and Refugees: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)