- John Oliver addresses the emergence of cicadas in the Northeast
- The cicadas were conceived in 1999 and will only live for 2 to 6 weeks
- Oliver attempts to catch the cicadas up on what has happened in the last 17 years
- He mentions politics, technology, sports, and pop culture changes
- Oliver jokes about Dr. Dre, NSYNC, Destiny's Child, and the Red Sox
- He mentions the decline of carbohydrates and Cosby Show reruns
- Oliver also mentions the shift in music and porn consumption
- He warns the cicadas that the planet may not be around in another 17 years.

Billions of cicadas will soon emerge after spending 17 years underground. John Oliver fills them in on what's happened since 1999.


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I'm John Oliver, host of HBO's This Week Right Now, or whatever the fuck it's called.

We are off this week, but we wanted to quickly address 1 absolutely huge story.

Naturalists are predicting a big summer for cicadas in the Northeast.

Big, noisy, and numerous cicadas are set to emerge again from their unusually long reproductive cycle.

The ones coming out of the ground this summer were conceived in 1999.

And this latest batch have been hidden from the world since 1999.

And if they're anything like humans conceived in 1999, I'm guessing all the girl cicadas are named Madison, and the boy cicadas are named Tyler.

-...uh, sadly, they won't have much time among us.

They'll live for 2 to 6 weeks, mate, and then die.

And so, and so that they don't waste, that's an odd thing to woo, but...

So, so that they don't waste too much time catching up on what they missed, I just want to take a few minutes now to get them up to speed on what has happened in the last 17 years.

A lot fewer people are calling it the Willennium than we thought they would in 1999.

We voted in a second President Bush by a narrow margin and rejected a third President Bush by an enormous margin.

As for technology, we've made a lot of strides since 1999.

For example, the Internet no longer screams in agony as you dial into it from your phone line.

In fact, you might well be watching this on YouTube, which is a video distribution platform where teenagers become famous for playing video games and opening boxes.

In sports news, the Red Sox finally won a World Series, making their fans somehow even more insufferable.

And Michael Jordan, while still possibly the greatest basketball player ever, is now someone that we mostly make fun of because he cried 1 time.

In terms of pop culture, and brace yourself because there are some big surprises here.

Dre is now a multi-millionaire electronics mogul.

The curly-haired guy from NSYNC is 1 of the biggest entertainers in the world.

And the lead singer of R&B group Destiny's Child is essentially our queen now.

Oh, and some things that were very popular in 1999 have become a lot scarcer, such as carbohydrates and Cosby Show reruns.

And finally, and amazingly, we all just stopped paying for music and porn, and I think we've gotten away with it.

-...so frankly, that should be it, Cicadas.

Enjoy the world while you have the chance, because, to be honest, depending on how things go in November, this planet might not be around in another 17 years, and I do not have time to explain that to you.

-♪ ♪ -♪APPLAUSE AND CHEERING♪ you


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪♪ Hello there. I'm John Oliver, host of HBO's This Week Right Now, or whatever the fuck it's called. We are off this week, but we wanted to quickly address 1 absolutely huge story.

Speaker 1: Naturalists are predicting a big summer for cicadas in the Northeast. Big, noisy, and numerous cicadas are set to emerge again from their unusually long reproductive cycle. The ones coming out of the ground this summer were conceived in 1999.

Speaker 0: Yes, the cicadas are coming. And this latest batch have been hidden from the world since 1999. And if they're anything like humans conceived in 1999, I'm guessing all the girl cicadas are named Madison, and the boy cicadas are named Tyler. -...uh, sadly, they won't have much time among us. They'll live for 2 to 6 weeks, mate, and then die.

And so, and so that they don't waste, that's an odd thing to woo, but... So, so that they don't waste too much time catching up on what they missed, I just want to take a few minutes now to get them up to speed on what has happened in the last 17 years. So, yeah. Welcome to the new millennium. Welcome to the New Millennium, Cicadas.

A lot fewer people are calling it the Willennium than we thought they would in 1999. First, let me catch you up on politics. We voted in a second President Bush by a narrow margin and rejected a third President Bush by an enormous margin. As for technology, we've made a lot of strides since 1999. For example, the Internet no longer screams in agony as you dial into it from your phone line.

In fact, you might well be watching this on YouTube, which is a video distribution platform where teenagers become famous for playing video games and opening boxes. -... In sports news, the Red Sox finally won a World Series, making their fans somehow even more insufferable. And Michael Jordan, while still possibly the greatest basketball player ever, is now someone that we mostly make fun of because he cried 1 time. In terms of pop culture, and brace yourself because there are some big surprises here.

Dr. Dre is now a multi-millionaire electronics mogul. This guy won a Grammy for best rap song. The curly-haired guy from NSYNC is 1 of the biggest entertainers in the world. And the lead singer of R&B group Destiny's Child is essentially our queen now.

On your knees, cicadas! On your knees before the queen! Oh, and some things that were very popular in 1999 have become a lot scarcer, such as carbohydrates and Cosby Show reruns. And... And finally...

And finally, and amazingly, we all just stopped paying for music and porn, and I think we've gotten away with it. -...so frankly, that should be it, Cicadas. You're pretty much all caught up. Enjoy the world while you have the chance, because, to be honest, depending on how things go in November, this planet might not be around in another 17 years, and I do not have time to explain that to you. Thanks so much for watching.

We will be back next week. Goodbye! -♪ ♪ -♪APPLAUSE AND CHEERING♪ you

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