- The UK is facing a referendum on whether to leave the European Union, known as Brexit.
- The EU is an economic union of 28 countries that allows for free trade and movement across borders.
- Pro-Brexit arguments, such as financial contributions and regulations, have been debunked.
- Leaving the EU could have negative effects on the UK economy, according to various reports.
- The UK Independence Party (UKIP) is a leading group backing Brexit, known for its hardline anti-immigration views.
- Some UKIP members have made racist comments, and Farage has stood by them.
- UKIP argues that leaving the EU would reduce immigration and prevent terror attacks.
- The campaign for Brexit has been toxic and divisive in England.

- The political climate in England is toxic, with recent events including the murder of MP Joe Cox.
- Leaving the EU will not necessarily give the UK control over its borders.
- Remaining in the EU would require abiding by its rules for trade and migration.
- The economic benefits of staying in the EU outweigh the costs.
- There is a British desire to tell Europe to go away, but leaving the EU would be a mistake.
- The EU is a complicated and irritating institution, but leaving would be crazy.
- The speaker urges the people of the UK not to vote for Brexit and offers a humorous alternative anthem.

Britain could soon vote to leave the European Union. John Oliver enlists a barbershop quartet to propose a smarter option.

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-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ The United Kingdom, birthplace of the Beatles, and yet very much the world's Ringo.

Now, on Thursday, the UK faces an in-outs referendum on whether to leave the European Union.

And incidentally, an in-out referendum is also what most English people call sex.

I say, that was a jolly good in-out referendum, Priscilla.

You may not have heard about this referendum unless you watch financial networks, where it's usually referred to by a catchy name.

There's a lot of fear out there in the marketplace about the Brexit vote that's coming up.

A new survey this morning focuses on Brexit fears.

Brexit is 1 of the major concerns in the market at the moment.

I think that the scariest thing about Brexit is the name Brexit.

Brexit doesn't sound scary, it just sounds like a shitty granola bar you buy at the airport.

Hey, this tastes like a preserved owl pellet.

And I know, I know, if you are watching this outside the UK, you're probably thinking, why should I care about what Britain does with the EU?

Honestly, as long as those crooked-toothed scone goblins keep shooting out royal babies in episodes of Doctor Who, I don't give a tally-ho, what happens there?

But a Brexit or British exit could have wide-ranging implications, both for the UK and the world's economy.

And first, it might help to understand what the European Union actually is.

The idea for it came after the Second World War, when there was understandably a desire to keep the continent from tearing itself apart yet again.

And it has since evolved into an economic union of 28 countries whose citizens can trade and move freely across borders and who negotiate international agreements as a bloc.

But, despite being a member, Britain has always had an arm's-length relationship with the EU.

For instance, it doesn't use the euro, and some British politicians have been openly hostile right to the face of EU officials.

I don't want to be rude, but you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.

And the question that I want to ask, that we're all gonna ask, is, who are you?

And not just because all of those insults are things people in the UK have said about me.

It's large, confounding, and relentlessly bureaucratic.

It's an unwieldy European body that's a source of great bewilderment.

But Britain leaving it would be a huge destabilizing decision, so you would expect the Brexit camp to have some pretty solid arguments.

Unfortunately, many of them are bullshit.

1 of the most popular involves the financial contributions that Britain makes to

We've got a once in a lifetime opportunity to take back control in this country of huge sums of money that we send every year to Brussels, about 350 million pounds a week, We do not control.

That is former London mayor Boris Johnson, a man with both the look and the economic insight of Bam Bam from the Flintstones.

--LAUGHTER --APPLAUSE He has even been driven around in a giant red bus for the last month with the words, we send the EU 350 million pounds a week written on the side.

But that number has been thoroughly debunked.

It's actually about 190 million pounds a week when you consider a rebate the UK receives and other money that the EU sends back.

On top of which, if Britain does leave the EU, it may have to spend close to that amount just to access the common market.

So what the bus should really say is, we actually send the EU 190 million pounds a week, which is a proportion of our GDP, makes sound fiscal sense.

In fact, considering the benefits we've already been returned, oh, shit, we're running out of bus.

-♪ ♪ -♪ Now, 1 of the other main talking points from pro-Brexit campaigners has been the EU's onerous regulations.

It's even a centerpiece of the feature-length pro-Brexit movie, Brexit the Movie.

Here is regulated EU man, waking from his regulated slumber to start his regulated day.

You wouldn't think you'd need a law for pillow cases, but the EU has 5.

The pillow inside is subject to 109 different EU laws.

Because we blew up that frame, and then went looking through each of the pillow regulations they feature.

And the problem is, most have nothing to do with actual pillows.

For instance, this 1 is a classification of a type of breakfast cereal that comes in pillow shapes.

This 1 is related to a merger between 2 auto part companies that included the phrase, pillow ball joints.

And finally, this 1 uses the word pillow in reference to this weird foot pump thing, which is supposedly for inflating air mattresses, but is clearly a sex doll for a platypus.

So, it seems the benefits of leaving may be overstated.

And there is many, there's a great many people warning about a real downside.

President Obama is against Britain leaving, so is China, so is Japan, so is India, and the EU itself.

In fact, 1 Austrian politician tried to convince Britain not to leave with a poem.

The Brexit is, to put it simple, not like an ordinary pimple.

You take some cream, you put it on, a few days later, it is gone.

It is a complicated matter, more like a novel, not a letter.

To understand the story well, you've got to listen.

I will tell you what may happen, so sit back and let me rap it.

If a middle-aged Austrian bureaucrat spitting dope half rhymes in a busy hallway, if he does not win you over, nobody will.

There's also overwhelming consensus about the damage Britain could do to its economy by leaving.

Reports by groups like the British Treasury, the Bank of England, the IMF, the OECD, the National Institute of Economic and Social Research, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Oxford Economics, and the Center for Economic Performance have all predicted that leaving would have a negative effect on the British GDP.

And the pro-Brexit camp's response to that has not been great.

I think the people in this country have had enough of experts with, organizations from acronyms...

The people of this country have had enough of experts?

...With organizations with acronyms saying that they know what is best in getting it consistently wrong.

Fuck these eggheads with their studies and degrees!

I get my economic forecast from clever Otis, the GDP-predicting horse.

And at this point, you may be wondering, if leaving is so universally seen as a bad idea, then who the fuck is in favor of it?

Well, let me introduce you to 1 of the leading groups backing a Brexit, the UK Independence Party, also called UKIP.

Their leader is Nigel Farage, that man you saw earlier at the Comedy Central roast of European Council President Herman Van Rompuy.

UKIP is known for its hardline anti-immigration views, and some of its members have engaged in outright racism.

Just look at Robert Blay, a Youkip candidate for parliament who was suspended after a tabloid paper caught him saying this about a rival of Sri Lankan descent.

The family's only been here since the 70s.

You're not British enough to be in our parliament.

Not British enough to be in our parliament?

He's talking about a British citizen who was born in London and raised in Hampshire.

Must he literally be a monocled badger named Reginald who lives in a shepherd's pie?

And at the local level, UKIP has had councillors like this woman who served on a district council in Kent.

I have to watch my tongue because I can be very outspoken.

The only people I do have problems with...

Okay, okay, let's agree it is now official, not everything sounds smarter in a British accent.

I know, I know what you heard is horrifying, but at least we can all rest easy knowing that as she speaks, that shell full of clowns is plotting to carry her away into the night forever.

But even when UKIP candidates are caught making racist comments, Farage has sometimes stood by them.

Look at Kerry Smith, who used a racial slur about Chinese people, a term that I'm not going to use because I'm not a parliamentary candidate for UKIP.

But Nigel Farage did not exactly condemn him.

If you and your mates are going out for Chinese, what do you say you're going for?

Bigots, idiots, the intolerant, who am I missing here?

Now, UKIP argued that a Brexit would enable the UK to significantly reduce immigration, preventing both EU citizens from taking British jobs and non-EU citizens from sneaking in to commit terror attacks.

And they have not been subtle in their campaign.

With toxic posters like this 1, showing lines of refugees and the headline, Breaking Point.

It is hard for me to overstate to you how poisonous things have become in England.

Just this week, MP Joe Cox was killed in the street, and the man charged for it gave his name in court as death to traitors, freedom for Britain.

And in that cauldron, People are being asked to make a major political decision.

And incidentally, regarding immigration, even if you believe tightening borders is what Britain needs to do, you should know that opting out of the EU will not necessarily enable Britain to do that.

Leaving the EU, does that mean the UK gets control of its borders?

If we were to completely cut ourselves off from the rest of Europe, we could certainly choose to end migration from the EU.

But if we want to remain part of the single market, that means accepting free mobility of labor both into and out of the UK.

Because if Britain wants a good trade deal with the EU, it's probably gonna have to abide by most of its rules.

And the same goes, by the way, for all those hypothetically cumbersome, non-pillow-related pillow regulations.

Because if British companies want to trade with the EU, they also are likely to have to go and have to abide by those rules anyway.

So, it's not a Brexit so much as it's a Bratis Quo or a Bromio Stasis or a Conscious Un-Brapley.

So, to recap, immigration policy may not change, hysteria over regulation is a red herring, the cost of membership are reasonable, and the economic benefits of staying appear to outweigh the costs.

And yet, polls suggest my homeland is on the edge of doing something absolutely insane.

And on some level, I actually kind of understand, because there is an innate British desire to tell Europe to go f*** itself.

You know those things I say when countries pop up over my shoulder?

Germany, where the national motto is, let's stick to the present, shall we?

Luxembourg, What happens when you leave Lichtenstein out in the sun too long?

The casual acquaintance France crops out of its Instagram photos.

What would happen if a suicide note was a country?

I'm doing these, and I could do them all day.

And to be honest, the EU does not make itself easy to love.

Its official anthem is Beethoven's Ode to Joy.

And they actually had a competition to do a video set to that tune.

Tochter aus Elysium ♪ Wir betreten Feuertrunken Immlich und ein Heiligtum F...

-♪ You see, it is perfectly understandable to be annoyed at Europe.

I'm barely containing my anger right now.

It's a complicated, bureaucratic, ambitious, overbearing, inspirational, and consistently irritating institution, and Britain would be absolutely crazy to leave it.

Especially because, if it stays, it can reap all the benefits while still being a total dick about everything, and that is the British way.

-♪ Laughter and applause ♪ -♪ Applause and cheering ♪ So, to the people of the UK, I say this, if you need your hatred of the EU itch scratched, I understand, but please, don't vote for a Brexit on Thursday.

I'd like to retroactively enter that EU anthem contest with a song straight out of every British heart that both relentlessly insults Europe and quietly acknowledges how lost we'd be without it.

F*** you, European Union, Tally-ho, you f-cking pricks ♪ ♪ We are the United Kingdom, you can eat our spotted dicks ♪ ♪ That being said, we're not going to leave you.

F*** you, you're all clear, you know ♪ ♪ It is what it is

Poland is depressing ♪ -♪ And there's vampires in Romania ♪ ♪ Spain is far too hot ♪ ♪ And where the f*** is Lithuania?

To be fair Slovenia is lovely We're only kidding It sucks too But we must admit Without these countries We'd be really screwed F*** the European Union Even though we must admit We would all be batshit crazy If we Vote for leaving it We would all be batshit crazy If we vote for leaving it you


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ The United Kingdom, birthplace of the Beatles, and yet very much the world's Ringo. Now, on Thursday, the UK faces an in-outs referendum on whether to leave the European Union. And incidentally, an in-out referendum is also what most English people call sex. I say, that was a jolly good in-out referendum, Priscilla. Capital stuff, old girl.

Simply capital. You may not have heard about this referendum unless you watch financial networks, where it's usually referred to by a catchy name.

Speaker 1: There's a lot of fear out there in the marketplace about the Brexit vote that's coming up.

Speaker 2: Brexit fears gaining traction.

Speaker 1: A new survey this morning focuses on Brexit fears. Brexit is 1 of the major concerns in the market at the moment.

Speaker 3: I think that the scariest thing about Brexit is the name Brexit. Because it's unknown. I mean, it's like, wow, Brexit. Whoa, be afraid, conjuring Brexit.

Speaker 0: Okay, Calm down. Brexit doesn't sound scary, it just sounds like a shitty granola bar you buy at the airport. Hey, this tastes like a preserved owl pellet. Fuck it, I'm going to Cinnabon! You pushed me into it!

And I know, I know, if you are watching this outside the UK, you're probably thinking, why should I care about what Britain does with the EU? Honestly, as long as those crooked-toothed scone goblins keep shooting out royal babies in episodes of Doctor Who, I don't give a tally-ho, what happens there? And fair enough, fair enough. But a Brexit or British exit could have wide-ranging implications, both for the UK and the world's economy. And first, it might help to understand what the European Union actually is.

The idea for it came after the Second World War, when there was understandably a desire to keep the continent from tearing itself apart yet again. And it has since evolved into an economic union of 28 countries whose citizens can trade and move freely across borders and who negotiate international agreements as a bloc. But, despite being a member, Britain has always had an arm's-length relationship with the EU. For instance, it doesn't use the euro, and some British politicians have been openly hostile right to the face of EU officials.

Speaker 4: I don't want to be rude, but you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk. And the question that I want to ask, that we're all gonna ask, is, who are you? I'd never heard of you. Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you.

Speaker 0: That is painful to watch. And not just because all of those insults are things people in the UK have said about me. And... And look, look, the EU is not perfect. It's large, confounding, and relentlessly bureaucratic.

Think of it like Gerard Depardieu. It's an unwieldy European body that's a source of great bewilderment. But Britain leaving it would be a huge destabilizing decision, so you would expect the Brexit camp to have some pretty solid arguments. Unfortunately, many of them are bullshit. 1 of the most popular involves the financial contributions that Britain makes to

Speaker 5: the EU. We've got a once in a lifetime opportunity to take back control in this country of huge sums of money that we send every year to Brussels, about 350 million pounds a week, We do not control.

Speaker 0: That is former London mayor Boris Johnson, a man with both the look and the economic insight of Bam Bam from the Flintstones. --LAUGHTER --APPLAUSE He has even been driven around in a giant red bus for the last month with the words, we send the EU 350 million pounds a week written on the side. But that number has been thoroughly debunked. It's actually about 190 million pounds a week when you consider a rebate the UK receives and other money that the EU sends back. On top of which, if Britain does leave the EU, it may have to spend close to that amount just to access the common market.

So what the bus should really say is, we actually send the EU 190 million pounds a week, which is a proportion of our GDP, makes sound fiscal sense. In fact, considering the benefits we've already been returned, oh, shit, we're running out of bus. Okay, bye-bye. -♪ ♪ -♪ Now, 1 of the other main talking points from pro-Brexit campaigners has been the EU's onerous regulations. It's even a centerpiece of the feature-length pro-Brexit movie, Brexit the Movie.

Speaker 2: Here is regulated EU man, waking from his regulated slumber to start his regulated day. You wouldn't think you'd need a law for pillow cases, but the EU has 5. But that's nothing. The pillow inside is subject to 109 different EU laws.

Speaker 0: But is it, though? Because we blew up that frame, and then went looking through each of the pillow regulations they feature. And the problem is, most have nothing to do with actual pillows. For instance, this 1 is a classification of a type of breakfast cereal that comes in pillow shapes. This 1 is related to a merger between 2 auto part companies that included the phrase, pillow ball joints.

And finally, this 1 uses the word pillow in reference to this weird foot pump thing, which is supposedly for inflating air mattresses, but is clearly a sex doll for a platypus. It's so obvious what that actually is. So, it seems the benefits of leaving may be overstated. And there is many, there's a great many people warning about a real downside. President Obama is against Britain leaving, so is China, so is Japan, so is India, and the EU itself.

In fact, 1 Austrian politician tried to convince Britain not to leave with a poem.

Speaker 6: The Brexit is, to put it simple, not like an ordinary pimple. You take some cream, you put it on, a few days later, it is gone. It is a complicated matter, more like a novel, not a letter. To understand the story well, you've got to listen. I will tell you what may happen, so sit back and let me rap it.

LAUGHTER

Speaker 0: APPLAUSE Cool. I mean, come on, Britain! If a middle-aged Austrian bureaucrat spitting dope half rhymes in a busy hallway, if he does not win you over, nobody will.

Speaker 7: But you

Speaker 0: know what? There's also overwhelming consensus about the damage Britain could do to its economy by leaving. Reports by groups like the British Treasury, the Bank of England, the IMF, the OECD, the National Institute of Economic and Social Research, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Oxford Economics, and the Center for Economic Performance have all predicted that leaving would have a negative effect on the British GDP. And the pro-Brexit camp's response to that has not been great.

Speaker 8: I think the people in this country have had enough of experts with, organizations from acronyms... Have enough of experts? The people of this country have had enough of experts? ...With organizations with acronyms saying that they know what is best in getting it consistently wrong.

Speaker 0: Yes! Fuck these eggheads with their studies and degrees! I get my economic forecast from clever Otis, the GDP-predicting horse. And at this point, you may be wondering, if leaving is so universally seen as a bad idea, then who the fuck is in favor of it? Well, let me introduce you to 1 of the leading groups backing a Brexit, the UK Independence Party, also called UKIP.

Their leader is Nigel Farage, that man you saw earlier at the Comedy Central roast of European Council President Herman Van Rompuy. UKIP is known for its hardline anti-immigration views, and some of its members have engaged in outright racism. Just look at Robert Blay, a Youkip candidate for parliament who was suspended after a tabloid paper caught him saying this about a rival of Sri Lankan descent.

Speaker 2: The family's only been here since the 70s. You're not British enough to be in our parliament.

Speaker 0: Whoa there. Just hold up. Not British enough to be in our parliament? He's talking about a British citizen who was born in London and raised in Hampshire. How is that not British enough?

Must he literally be a monocled badger named Reginald who lives in a shepherd's pie? Is that the bar of entry to him? -...to him. -...to him. And at the local level, UKIP has had councillors like this woman who served on a district council in Kent.

Speaker 1: I have to watch my tongue because I can be very outspoken. And it goes against the grain. The only people I do have problems with... Are Negroes. And I don't know why.

Speaker 0: Okay, okay, let's agree it is now official, not everything sounds smarter in a British accent. It's official now. It is absolutely, 100% official. I know, I know what you heard is horrifying, but at least we can all rest easy knowing that as she speaks, that shell full of clowns is plotting to carry her away into the night forever. But even when UKIP candidates are caught making racist comments, Farage has sometimes stood by them.

Look at Kerry Smith, who used a racial slur about Chinese people, a term that I'm not going to use because I'm not a parliamentary candidate for UKIP. But Nigel Farage did not exactly condemn him.

Speaker 4: If you and your mates are going out for Chinese, what do you say you're going for? I honestly would not use the word... No. A lot of people would. Would you?

Speaker 0: But a

Speaker 4: lot of people would.

Speaker 0: Yeah, yeah, a lot of people would. Racists, for example. Bigots, idiots, the intolerant, who am I missing here? Oh, yeah, UKIP voters, them as well. A lot of people would.

Now, UKIP argued that a Brexit would enable the UK to significantly reduce immigration, preventing both EU citizens from taking British jobs and non-EU citizens from sneaking in to commit terror attacks. And they have not been subtle in their campaign. With toxic posters like this 1, showing lines of refugees and the headline, Breaking Point. It is hard for me to overstate to you how poisonous things have become in England. Just this week, MP Joe Cox was killed in the street, and the man charged for it gave his name in court as death to traitors, freedom for Britain.

And in that cauldron, People are being asked to make a major political decision. And incidentally, regarding immigration, even if you believe tightening borders is what Britain needs to do, you should know that opting out of the EU will not necessarily enable Britain to do that.

Speaker 9: Leaving the EU, does that mean the UK gets control of its borders? It could do. If we were to completely cut ourselves off from the rest of Europe, we could certainly choose to end migration from the EU. But if we want to remain part of the single market, that means accepting free mobility of labor both into and out of the UK.

Speaker 0: Of course! Because if Britain wants a good trade deal with the EU, it's probably gonna have to abide by most of its rules. And the same goes, by the way, for all those hypothetically cumbersome, non-pillow-related pillow regulations. Because if British companies want to trade with the EU, they also are likely to have to go and have to abide by those rules anyway. So, it's not a Brexit so much as it's a Bratis Quo or a Bromio Stasis or a Conscious Un-Brapley.

So, to recap, immigration policy may not change, hysteria over regulation is a red herring, the cost of membership are reasonable, and the economic benefits of staying appear to outweigh the costs. And yet, polls suggest my homeland is on the edge of doing something absolutely insane. And on some level, I actually kind of understand, because there is an innate British desire to tell Europe to go f*** itself. I feel it too. You know those things I say when countries pop up over my shoulder?

That's a reflex action. I don't even know I'm doing it. I'll show you. Germany, where the national motto is, let's stick to the present, shall we? Okay, give me another 1.

Luxembourg, What happens when you leave Lichtenstein out in the sun too long? Bam! Okay, give me another 1. Belgium. The casual acquaintance France crops out of its Instagram photos.

Okay, okay, 1 more. I'm on a roll. 1 more. Denmark. What would happen if a suicide note was a country?

I don't even know! I'm doing these, and I could do them all day. And to be honest, the EU does not make itself easy to love. Its official anthem is Beethoven's Ode to Joy. And they actually had a competition to do a video set to that tune.

And you really have to see what won. -♪ Freude, schöne Götterfunken

Speaker 7: Tochter aus Elysium ♪ Wir betreten Feuertrunken Immlich und ein Heiligtum F...

Speaker 0: You! F... You all forever! You f... Yourself!

You go f... Yourself right now! -♪ You see, it is perfectly understandable to be annoyed at Europe. I'm barely containing my anger right now. But here is how I feel about the EU.

It's a complicated, bureaucratic, ambitious, overbearing, inspirational, and consistently irritating institution, and Britain would be absolutely crazy to leave it. Especially because, if it stays, it can reap all the benefits while still being a total dick about everything, and that is the British way. -♪ Laughter and applause ♪ -♪ Applause and cheering ♪ So, to the people of the UK, I say this, if you need your hatred of the EU itch scratched, I understand, but please, don't vote for a Brexit on Thursday. I have a better solution. I'd like to retroactively enter that EU anthem contest with a song straight out of every British heart that both relentlessly insults Europe and quietly acknowledges how lost we'd be without it.

Please enjoy. ♪♪ -♪

Speaker 7: F*** you, European Union, Tally-ho, you f-cking pricks ♪ ♪ We are the United Kingdom, you can eat our spotted dicks ♪ ♪ That being said, we're not going to leave you. Turns out we need you nonetheless.

Speaker 0: -♪

Speaker 7: F*** you, you're all clear, you know ♪ ♪ It is what it is

Speaker 0: ♪ -♪

Speaker 7: Poland is depressing ♪ -♪ And there's vampires in Romania ♪ ♪ Spain is far too hot ♪ ♪ And where the f*** is Lithuania?

Speaker 0: ♪ ♪

Speaker 7: To be fair Slovenia is lovely We're only kidding It sucks too But we must admit Without these countries We'd be really screwed F*** the European Union Even though we must admit We would all be batshit crazy If we Vote for leaving it We would all be batshit crazy If we vote for leaving it you

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