- John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight, reviews fan mail in the form of YouTube comments
- Some comments are positive about his eyebrows, while others insult his appearance
- He is discouraged by a comment about serving corporate masters, but also finds humor in it
- He dismisses comments about his age and the show being boring as not insulting
- One comment challenges him to feature it in a video, and he accepts the challenge
- John Oliver announces the return of Last Week Tonight on July 24th and jokes about being a zillionaire now.

John Oliver reads his fan mail, which comes from YouTube comments instead of letters because we live in the modern world.

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-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there, I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight on HBO.

Although here, I'm on YouTube, like I'm about to give the least anticipated makeup tutorial of all time.

I'm Sorry, but now is not the time that I share my patented contouring technique.

It's about blending the makeup, is what I think it is about.

Now, we're off for a few weeks, and in the meantime, I thought I would do 1 of our periodic reviews of this show's fan mail.

Now, of course, no 1 sent me actual mail because I'm not currently fighting in the Revolutionary War.

Or as they call it where I'm from, the war of, well, we've still got Canada.

Now, as always, our fan mail comes in the form of YouTube comments.

The most cogent written argument for never learning how to read.

I would like to share some of my favorite comments, not all of which are hateful.

In fact, 1 viewer even wrote, John Oliver has magnificent eyebrows, which I appreciated.

And I'll tell you why, because no 1 has ever called any part of my body magnificent.

But then, then I got a little confused when I saw that someone else had written, John Oliver's eyebrows are alien caterpillars and move independently of each other.

That does still technically fall under the umbrella of magnificent.

There's no more magnificent eyebrow than 1 that is sentient and moves independently.

The problem is, things went steadily downhill from there.

1 commenter said, John Oliver looks like a mix of a Pokemon and a child molester, which made me a little mad, because there is already a mix between a Pokemon and a child molester, and it's called Gengar.

But the most discouraging thing I saw was a comment that read, at least you serve your corporate masters well, unfunny live action beaker.

Which was incredibly discouraging because...

Mainly because I was annoyed that I hadn't thought of that myself.

I don't mind being insulted by commenters, but I really, it really hurts when I'm out-comedianed by them.

Honestly, many people who try to insult me on YouTube have badly missed the mark.

For example, someone wrote, -"He's aged so much." which is just not an insult.

It's merely an affirmation that I've continued to succeed at my number 1 life goal, not dying in a significant way.

That's something I've been consistently good at since I was born.

Another comment simply described our show as uniquely boring.

For something to be both unique and boring is a true feat.

It's a phrase that I would reserve for something exceptional like a Ken Burns documentary about snails.

-...but of all the comments I read, 1 stood out above all the others and really made me feel good about my career choices.

And that comment laid out a challenge, a challenge I'm prepared to take on, because this comment read, John Oliver, I bet you 1 zillion dollars that you won't feature this comment in a video.

And to the rest of you, I will see you never.

Last Week Tonight returns on the 24th of July, unless I can't find a place to dock my new yacht.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there, I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight on HBO. Although here, I'm on YouTube, like I'm about to give the least anticipated makeup tutorial of all time. I'm Sorry, but now is not the time that I share my patented contouring technique. Which I call Jon-touring. It's about blending, it's about blends.

It's about blending the makeup, is what I think it is about. Now, we're off for a few weeks, and in the meantime, I thought I would do 1 of our periodic reviews of this show's fan mail. Now, of course, no 1 sent me actual mail because I'm not currently fighting in the Revolutionary War. Or as they call it where I'm from, the war of, well, we've still got Canada. We've still got Canada.

So... Now, as always, our fan mail comes in the form of YouTube comments. The most cogent written argument for never learning how to read. -...how to read. -...how to read.

I would like to share some of my favorite comments, not all of which are hateful. In fact, 1 viewer even wrote, John Oliver has magnificent eyebrows, which I appreciated. And I'll tell you why, because no 1 has ever called any part of my body magnificent. Ever. But then, then I got a little confused when I saw that someone else had written, John Oliver's eyebrows are alien caterpillars and move independently of each other.

And I thought, well, that's okay. That's okay. That does still technically fall under the umbrella of magnificent. There's no more magnificent eyebrow than 1 that is sentient and moves independently. So, you know what?

Sorry, Cara Delevingne. I'm the new queen of eyebrow thickness. Step off! Step off, Cara! Now...

Now... The problem is, things went steadily downhill from there. 1 commenter said, John Oliver looks like a mix of a Pokemon and a child molester, which made me a little mad, because there is already a mix between a Pokemon and a child molester, and it's called Gengar. Look at that creep! Look at that creep!

But the most discouraging thing I saw was a comment that read, at least you serve your corporate masters well, unfunny live action beaker. Which... Which was incredibly discouraging because... I... Mainly because I was annoyed that I hadn't thought of that myself.

I don't mind being insulted by commenters, but I really, it really hurts when I'm out-comedianed by them. Honestly, many people who try to insult me on YouTube have badly missed the mark. For example, someone wrote, -"He's aged so much." which is just not an insult. It's merely an affirmation that I've continued to succeed at my number 1 life goal, not dying in a significant way. That's something I've been consistently good at since I was born.

Another comment simply described our show as uniquely boring. Which again, is not an insult. It's not. For something to be both unique and boring is a true feat. It's a phrase that I would reserve for something exceptional like a Ken Burns documentary about snails.

-...but of all the comments I read, 1 stood out above all the others and really made me feel good about my career choices. And that comment laid out a challenge, a challenge I'm prepared to take on, because this comment read, John Oliver, I bet you 1 zillion dollars that you won't feature this comment in a video. Well, touche, anonymous YouTube user! Pay up! Pay up!

And to the rest of you, I will see you never. I don't need this shit anymore. I'm a zillionaire now! -$1,000,000. Last Week Tonight returns on the 24th of July, unless I can't find a place to dock my new yacht.

Until then, you're all monsters. Goodbye. -♪ ♪ -♪ APPLAUSE AND CHEERING you

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Fan Mail Vol. 2 (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)