- The video discusses the Republican plan to replace Obamacare, called the American Health Care Act (AHCA).
- The AHCA has received negative reviews from both conservatives and liberals.
- One major change in the AHCA is the replacement of Obamacare's insurance tax credits with flat tax credits based on age.
- The new bill would result in lower tax credits for older individuals, potentially leaving them underinsured.
- The AHCA also includes significant cuts to Medicaid, which would result in millions of poor Americans losing coverage.
- Wealthy Americans, on the other hand, would receive sizable tax breaks under the new bill.
- The AHCA is widely disliked in Washington and faces opposition from both Republicans and Democrats.

- The Republican healthcare bill contains a section focused on removing lottery winners from government health care assistance.
- Republican leaders are trying to push the bill through quickly, but President Trump has been largely absent from the process.
- Trump does not want his name associated with the bill, which is missing many of the healthcare reforms he promised.
- Trump tweeted that the ability to buy insurance across state lines will be included in later phases of healthcare rollout.
- However, the state line provision is unlikely to lower prices and is not in the current bill due to procedural reasons.
- The bill championed by Trump will actually increase costs for older, poor Americans and cause millions to lose coverage.
- A catheter patient in his 60s, from rural America, with an unspecified medical problem, appears in an ad to explain the potential negative impact of the bill.

The Republican health care bill could leave many Americans without affordable coverage. Last Week Tonight's catheter cowboy returns to morning cable news to explain that to Donald Trump.

Connect with Last Week Tonight online...
Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight

Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would:
http://Facebook.com/LastWeekTonight

Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news:
http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight

Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once:
http://www.hbo.com/lastweektonight

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ We're going to look at Obamacare.

Basically, the opposite of this photo, which is more, Obama, don't give a fuck.

-♪♪ 2 weeks ago, we devoted around 20 minutes to Republicans' efforts to repeal and replace that bill.

And the reason we have to talk about it again tonight is this.

Republicans reveal their long-awaited replacement for Obamacare.

Oh, yes, the Republican plan to replace Obamacare is public.

Yes, it's finally here, the American Health Care Act.

You may not have wanted it, it looks awful, but it's here anyway.

Try and think of it as the legislative equivalent of Pirates of the Caribbean 5, the curse of Johnny Depp getting divorced and needing the money.

And as will be the case with that movie, the early reviews of this thing have been rough.

Conservatives hate their bill, I promise you.

Yes, much like the life behind Melania Trump's eyes.

The AHA looks dead by the time it was introduced in Washington.

And there is no doubt the bill got enemies quickly.

The American Medical Association, the American Hospital Association, the American Nurses Association, and the AARP all immediately came out against it.

And even people you would presume would be happy about their appeal were not exactly thrilled.

Let me show you what was the front page of Breitbart this morning.

Freedom Works opposes Speaker Ryan's Obamacare 2.0 plan.

And I don't think, Selena, they mean that in a nice way.

I'm pretty sure they mean it in the sense of, Ryan is a beta male snowflake who needs to save space for his cuckservative bill kind of way.

Essentially, it seems people on both sides see the AHCA as just being shitty Obamacare.

The way Old Navy is a shitty version of The Gap.

And the way Easter, let's be honest, should really just be called shitty Christmas.

Only 1 month till shitty Christmas, everyone.

It had better be a basket full of beans, because that's what you're getting.

But here is the thing, this bill is not actually dead on arrival.

There is still a chance it could become law.

So given that, we need to take a look at what is actually inside this thing.

And let's start with 1 of the big changes.

As we anticipated, it gets rid of Obamacare's insurance tax credits, which are based on many factors, including income, and they've replaced that with a flat tax credit based on age.

The proposal provides tax credits to help pay for premiums.

Someone under the age of 30 would get $2,000.

Okay, so the older you get, the more money you get.

Think of it as the exact opposite of being a woman in Hollywood.

Now, as we discussed 2 weeks ago, the key question here is, do the size of those credits sufficiently cover the actual cost of health insurance?

Or are you left like a middle-aged man in a thong, horrifically undercovered?

To help answer that question, the Kaiser Family Foundation made a tool showing you how you might be impacted by this new bill, based on your age, income, and location.

It's like a choose-your-own-adventure game for a very specific type of child.

If your kid likes Caillou, he will love this interactive map of tax credits from the Kaiser Family Foundation.

So let's say you live in Woodward County, Oklahoma.

You're 60 years old and you earn, say, $50,000 a year.

Under Obamacare, you'd get $13,350 towards insurance.

But under the new bill, that will drop down to just $4,000.

And it's not 1 of those two-thirds decreases that you barely notice, like when Robin and Barry of the Bee Gees died.

Barry is fine, Robin and Morris are dead.

Although, to be fair, I have no idea, you don't either, and I don't see either 1 of us Googling it anytime soon.

There are a lot of people who would be harmed by the switch to these flat tax credits, And experts say 1 thing is pretty clear here.

Those who are lower income would be particularly hurt.

And that is before we even get into Medicaid, the program that largely provides healthcare to poor and disabled Americans.

Because that is where this bill gets really vicious.

And you know the changes to Medicaid are rough, just from how creepily enthusiastic Paul Ryan sounds talking about them.

Let me just describe exactly what this bill does for conservatives.

This is why I'm so excited about it, and this is why I think people need to see the forest through the trees.

We are defederalizing an entitlement, block granting it back to the states, and capping its growth rate.

Somehow, you can actually hear his erection during that.

And if you don't know what he's talking about, that just sounds like a benign pile of words.

But when he says, defederalizing, block granting, and capping, what that means in layman's terms is cutting the living shit out of Medicaid.

According to 1 analysis, the plan would cut at least $370 billion in federal funding for Medicaid over the next 10 years.

Now, what that means is that states would have to make up that gap to maintain current levels of coverage, which for many of them, will be next to impossible.

So when they don't, millions of the poorest Americans will lose coverage.

And I literally just heard Ryan getting another erection when I said those words.

And when you combine that with the insufficient tax credits, an estimated 6 to 15 million people are projected to lose insurance.

But to hear Republicans like Jason Chaffetz tell it, there's an easy solution.

Americans have choices, and they've gotta make a choice.

And So maybe, rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on that, maybe they should invest in their own

And it's frankly a little hard to take a lecture on making good choices from a man who presumably entered a barber shop and said, -"Give me the wet poodle pubes." -$25,000.

The truth is, if insurance cost as much as an iPhone, we wouldn't even be having this debate.

People are going to be hurt by this bill.

And those hit the hardest, who stand to lose $5,000 or more under the new plan, are ironically, a group that voted for Trump by a huge margin.

It's like if the people of Pompeii voted for the volcano.

Oh, I know you get to define your own self-interest, but I wish you hadn't voted for that volcano.

So look, if this bill is bad for older Americans, poor Americans, and many Trump supporters, and all these groups oppose it, who exactly is it for?

Wealthy Americans are set to get a sizable tax break under the GOP's health care bill, and the ultra-wealthy will see an even bigger tax cut.

Some of those in the top 1 percent of incomes will get a tax break of around $33,000.

Those in the top 0.1% would get an average tax cut of about $197,000 under the GOP plan.

So This plan is literally taking money from the poor and giving it to the very rich.

It's essentially a reverse Bernie Sanders, which is actually also the name of a sex act consisting of very aggressive fingering.

And it is not just liberals uncomfortable with this idea.

This week, Paul Ryan paid a visit to Tucker Carlson's second second chance attempt at his own TV news show with Tucker Carlson, and found himself under attack.

Kind of a hard sell to say, yeah, we're gonna repeal Obamacare, but we're gonna send more money to the people who've already gotten the richest over the last 10 years.

I'm not a leftist, it's just, that's true.

Ryan's plan is so harsh, it just caused a 47-year-old boy man in a bow tie named Tucker to worry about seeming overly sympathetic to the poor.

And before you point out that Tucker Carlson isn't wearing a bow tie, he is, just not where you can see it.

Many Republican governors and members of Congress have expressed real concern that this bill is going to actively hurt their states.

While on the other hand, amazingly, those on the far right wing of the party, like Congressman Mo Brooks of Alabama, think it's way too generous.

This far and away is the biggest welfare program ever sponsored, and quite frankly, it undermines the work ethic, it increases greater reliance on welfare from the federal government.

Ultimately, it's gonna result in the demise of our country, or at least contribute to our debilitating insolvency and bankruptcy.

So, this bill seems almost universally hated in Washington.

It is truly the Ted Cruz of healthcare legislation.

So, the White House clearly has a tough sales job ahead, and their efforts so far have been less than impressive.

Just watch White House Press Secretary and breakout star of Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy, deploy some visual aids.

For all of the people who have concerns about this, especially on the right, look at the size.

There is, I mean, you can't get any clearer in terms of this is government, this is not.

But, second, that is the most aggressively stupid thing I've ever seen.

And I just saw Jason Chaffetz suggest paying for health insurance by retroactively not buying an iPhone.

And that low page count starts to get actively worrisome when you find out what they spent a decent amount of time in there focusing on.

The Republican plan contains a section devoted to making sure people receiving government health care assistance who win the lottery are removed from the program in an orderly fashion.

In fact, 6 pages of this bill is devoted to letting states disenroll high-dollar lottery winners.

So, a not insignificant percentage of this bill is focused on the urgent matter of what if 1 poor person suddenly becomes less poor?

I'm honestly surprised they didn't also have a section covering what would happen in the event of a Freaky Friday type situation.

If the Medicaid recipient Freaky Fridays into the body of an individual living above 138% of the federal poverty line, states are obligated to de-enroll recipients until recipient Freaky Friday's back, using wish or magic not otherwise specified, or Freaky Friday's into an eligible body.

And yet, despite all of this, Republican leaders are ferociously trying to jam this bill through.

Already, it had been introduced in the House and passed by 2 committees.

And yet, there is 1 person, though, you may have noticed, I haven't actually mentioned so far, and that is Donald Trump.

And the reason he's been largely absent from our story is that he's been largely absent from this story in general.

Because putting aside the prop comedy of the star of Mike and Molly, The White House has been pretty hands-off with this bill.

And is there really any way, deep down, that Trump has actually read this thing?

We have come up with a solution that's really, really, I think, very good.

Now, I have to tell you, it's an unbelievably complex subject.

Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.

It is the 1 thing people know about healthcare, it's complicated.

It's like you're saying, who knew King Tut was dead?

He's as dead as Barry Morris or Robin Gibb, or all of them, or none of them, there's no way to find out.

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Trump has been noticeably distant from this whole process, and perhaps nothing shows that more than how this bill is being branded.

I'll call it Trumpcare if you want to, but I didn't hear President Trump say to any of us, -"Hey, I want

Trump is not clamoring to put his name on this bill, and he's put his name on some of the shittiest products in human history.

He put his name on a vodka, even though he doesn't drink, whose slogan was, Success Distilled, which was discontinued.

He put his name on Trump toys, which looked like the answer to the question, if erectile dysfunction was a fabric, what fabric would it be?

He even slapped his first and last names on Donald Trump Jr., a man who looks like a six-year-old's drawing of a mean bank teller.

Trump not wanting his name on the healthcare bill is like Tyler Perry not wanting his name anywhere near Jew or Madea Hanukkah.

I can kind of understand Trump not wanting his name on this.

It contains almost nothing that he promised, as Laura Ingram pointed out this week on Fox & Friends.

The Trumpism of the health care reform, the Trumpiest parts of it, were transparency in pricing, competition across state lines, and even on the edges, you know, repealing the McCarran-Ferguson Act.

He is pushing a health care bill that is missing a lot of what he said he wanted, and that is the kind of top-shelf deal-making that you can read all about in his best-selling book, The Art of the...

Well, anyway, let's talk about how hot my daughter is, right, fellas?

And Trump clearly noticed that criticism.

Because shortly after the segment aired, he tweeted, Don't worry, getting rid of state lines, which will promote competition, will be in phase 2 and 3 of healthcare rollout.

And then, as if to eliminate any doubt as to whether he was watching Fox & Friends, he ended the tweet, at Fox & Friends.

And by the way, it's just about that buying across state lines business.

Trump and Ryan keep promising that it's just around the corner, but 2 things you should know.

In fact, these 3 states currently allow it, but not a single out-of-state insurer has taken them up on the offer, which does actually make sense, because if you're an insurer in Massachusetts, it takes a massive amount of time and investment to set up new networks of doctors and hospitals in Maine.

And that's assuming Maine even has doctors.

I think it's mainly beavers with stethoscopes up there.

So, so this, this state line thing is something people love to talk about in theory, but no 1 really wants to do in practice.

But, But the even bigger issue is, it's almost certainly not going to happen.

The state line's bullshit, and a lot of other things Trump has promised, are not in this bill, because they cannot be.

We love that policy, we think it's critical, but as you well know, you cannot put that in a budget reconciliation bill, otherwise it could be filibustered.

For procedural reasons, this is being presented as a budget bill, which Republicans can pass with a simple Senate majority.

Any non-budget related policy change requires 60 votes to beat a filibuster.

So that is pretty much a dead end, meaning that this bill is in all likelihood all Trump can get passed to replace Obamacare.

So it is fucking important everyone understands what is in it.

And that the something terrific that he promised, better coverage, lower costs, no 1 losing their health insurance, well, this bill is not it.

The bill Trump is championing will actually increase costs for older, poor Americans, and will cause millions of people to lose coverage.

And since he is clearly still watching Fox & Friends, we might actually be able to help here.

Because you might remember last month, we bought time on that show to have our catheter cowboy explain to him what the nuclear triad is.

Well, saddle up, partner, for tonight, you ride again.

--CHEERING AND APPLAUSE --because think about it.

Who better to tell Trump what this bill will do than someone who stands to be hurt by it?

Someone in his 60s, in rural America, with an unspecified medical problem that requires constant treatment.

Please enjoy this ad, which will air on Fox & Friends in the D.C.

I'm a professional cowboy and I use catheters.

Been cowboying for 25 years and there's 2 things I know.

And health care is a complicated business.

Also, if my premiums go up and subsidies go down, I'm gonna wind up paying more.

That's like replacing my catheter with a garden hose.

The point is if that happens millions of folks like me might get real angry, which is worth thinking about if you're the sort of person who really likes being popular.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ We're going to look at Obamacare. Basically, the opposite of this photo, which is more, Obama, don't give a fuck. -♪♪ 2 weeks ago, we devoted around 20 minutes to Republicans' efforts to repeal and replace that bill. And the reason we have to talk about it again tonight is this.

Speaker 1: Breaking news overnight. Republicans reveal their long-awaited replacement for Obamacare. House Republicans roll out

Speaker 2: a revamped health care plan.

Speaker 3: It is finally here. Oh, yes, the Republican plan to replace Obamacare is public.

Speaker 2: This is the American Health Care Act.

Speaker 0: Yes, it's finally here, the American Health Care Act. You may not have wanted it, it looks awful, but it's here anyway. Try and think of it as the legislative equivalent of Pirates of the Caribbean 5, the curse of Johnny Depp getting divorced and needing the money. And as will be the case with that movie, the early reviews of this thing have been rough.

Speaker 4: This thing is probably dead on arrival. Conservatives hate their bill, I promise you. Obamacare lite, dead on arrival.

Speaker 2: It seems dead on arrival.

Speaker 1: It's dead on arrival.

Speaker 5: They're calling

Speaker 6: it a stinking pile of garbage. They're calling

Speaker 1: it dead on... Well, that was 1. That was 1.

Speaker 6: They're calling it dead on arrival.

Speaker 0: Yes, much like the life behind Melania Trump's eyes. The AHA looks dead by the time it was introduced in Washington. And there is no doubt the bill got enemies quickly. The American Medical Association, the American Hospital Association, the American Nurses Association, and the AARP all immediately came out against it. And even people you would presume would be happy about their appeal were not exactly thrilled.

Speaker 7: Let me show you what was the front page of Breitbart this morning. Freedom Works opposes Speaker Ryan's Obamacare 2.0 plan. And I don't think, Selena, they mean that in a nice way.

Speaker 0: Yeah, I don't think they do either. I'm pretty sure they mean it in the sense of, Ryan is a beta male snowflake who needs to save space for his cuckservative bill kind of way. Essentially, it seems people on both sides see the AHCA as just being shitty Obamacare. The way Old Navy is a shitty version of The Gap. And the way Easter, let's be honest, should really just be called shitty Christmas.

Only 1 month till shitty Christmas, everyone. What are you asking for? It had better be a basket full of beans, because that's what you're getting. But here is the thing, this bill is not actually dead on arrival. There is still a chance it could become law.

So given that, we need to take a look at what is actually inside this thing. And let's start with 1 of the big changes. As we anticipated, it gets rid of Obamacare's insurance tax credits, which are based on many factors, including income, and they've replaced that with a flat tax credit based on age. Here is how it works.

Speaker 8: The proposal provides tax credits to help pay for premiums. Someone under the age of 30 would get $2,000. Someone 60 and older would get $4,000.

Speaker 0: Okay, so the older you get, the more money you get. That's easy to understand. Think of it as the exact opposite of being a woman in Hollywood. Now, as we discussed 2 weeks ago, the key question here is, do the size of those credits sufficiently cover the actual cost of health insurance? Or are you left like a middle-aged man in a thong, horrifically undercovered?

And to help answer that question... I'm sorry, can we just take that down? Thank you, that's much better. To help answer that question, the Kaiser Family Foundation made a tool showing you how you might be impacted by this new bill, based on your age, income, and location. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure game for a very specific type of child.

If your kid likes Caillou, he will love this interactive map of tax credits from the Kaiser Family Foundation. So let's say you live in Woodward County, Oklahoma. You're 60 years old and you earn, say, $50,000 a year. Under Obamacare, you'd get $13,350 towards insurance. But under the new bill, that will drop down to just $4,000.

That is over two-thirds less. And it's not 1 of those two-thirds decreases that you barely notice, like when Robin and Barry of the Bee Gees died. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Barry is fine, Robin and Morris are dead. Or are they?

Or are they? The point is, they are. Although, to be fair, I have no idea, you don't either, and I don't see either 1 of us Googling it anytime soon. But that is really just 1 example. There are a lot of people who would be harmed by the switch to these flat tax credits, And experts say 1 thing is pretty clear here.

Those who are lower income would be particularly hurt. And that is before we even get into Medicaid, the program that largely provides healthcare to poor and disabled Americans. Because that is where this bill gets really vicious. And you know the changes to Medicaid are rough, just from how creepily enthusiastic Paul Ryan sounds talking about them.

Speaker 9: Let me just describe exactly what this bill does for conservatives. This is why I'm so excited about it, and this is why I think people need to see the forest through the trees. We are defederalizing an entitlement, block granting it back to the states, and capping its growth rate. That's never been done before.

Speaker 0: He is rock hard talking about that. Somehow, you can actually hear his erection during that. And if you don't know what he's talking about, that just sounds like a benign pile of words. But when he says, defederalizing, block granting, and capping, what that means in layman's terms is cutting the living shit out of Medicaid. According to 1 analysis, the plan would cut at least $370 billion in federal funding for Medicaid over the next 10 years.

Now, what that means is that states would have to make up that gap to maintain current levels of coverage, which for many of them, will be next to impossible. So when they don't, millions of the poorest Americans will lose coverage. Millions! And I literally just heard Ryan getting another erection when I said those words. And when you combine that with the insufficient tax credits, an estimated 6 to 15 million people are projected to lose insurance.

But to hear Republicans like Jason Chaffetz tell it, there's an easy solution.

Speaker 6: You know what? Americans have choices, and they've gotta make a choice. And So maybe, rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on that, maybe they should invest in their own

Speaker 10: health care.

Speaker 0: That is complete bullshit. And it's frankly a little hard to take a lecture on making good choices from a man who presumably entered a barber shop and said, -"Give me the wet poodle pubes." -$25,000. -$25,000. -$25,000. Make it look like this photo I took.

-... The truth is, if insurance cost as much as an iPhone, we wouldn't even be having this debate. People are going to be hurt by this bill. And those hit the hardest, who stand to lose $5,000 or more under the new plan, are ironically, a group that voted for Trump by a huge margin. Which is pretty frustrating.

It's like if the people of Pompeii voted for the volcano. Oh, I know you get to define your own self-interest, but I wish you hadn't voted for that volcano. So look, if this bill is bad for older Americans, poor Americans, and many Trump supporters, and all these groups oppose it, who exactly is it for?

Speaker 3: Wealthy Americans are set to get a sizable tax break under the GOP's health care bill, and the ultra-wealthy will see an even bigger tax cut. Some of those in the top 1 percent of incomes will get a tax break of around $33,000. Those in the top 0.1% would get an average tax cut of about $197,000 under the GOP plan.

Speaker 0: Wow! Indeed. So This plan is literally taking money from the poor and giving it to the very rich. It's essentially a reverse Bernie Sanders, which is actually also the name of a sex act consisting of very aggressive fingering. -...

-... -... And it is not just liberals uncomfortable with this idea. This week, Paul Ryan paid a visit to Tucker Carlson's second second chance attempt at his own TV news show with Tucker Carlson, and found himself under attack.

Speaker 4: Kind of a hard sell to say, yeah, we're gonna repeal Obamacare, but we're gonna send more money to the people who've already gotten the richest over the last 10 years. I mean, that's what this does, no? I'm not a leftist, it's just, that's true.

Speaker 0: I'm not a leftist, that's true. Ryan's plan is so harsh, it just caused a 47-year-old boy man in a bow tie named Tucker to worry about seeming overly sympathetic to the poor. And before you point out that Tucker Carlson isn't wearing a bow tie, he is, just not where you can see it. And it is not just Tucker here. Many Republican governors and members of Congress have expressed real concern that this bill is going to actively hurt their states.

While on the other hand, amazingly, those on the far right wing of the party, like Congressman Mo Brooks of Alabama, think it's way too generous.

Speaker 11: This far and away is the biggest welfare program ever sponsored, and quite frankly, it undermines the work ethic, it increases greater reliance on welfare from the federal government. Ultimately, it's gonna result in the demise of our country, or at least contribute to our debilitating insolvency and bankruptcy.

Speaker 0: So, this bill seems almost universally hated in Washington. It is truly the Ted Cruz of healthcare legislation. --Fuck you, Ted. --Fuck you. Fuck you from every bottom.

So, the White House clearly has a tough sales job ahead, and their efforts so far have been less than impressive. Just watch White House Press Secretary and breakout star of Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy, deploy some visual aids.

Speaker 12: For all of the people who have concerns about this, especially on the right, look at the size. This is the Democrats, this is us. There is, I mean, you can't get any clearer in terms of this is government, this is not.

Speaker 0: First, she's a national treasure. But, second, that is the most aggressively stupid thing I've ever seen. And I just saw Jason Chaffetz suggest paying for health insurance by retroactively not buying an iPhone. And that low page count starts to get actively worrisome when you find out what they spent a decent amount of time in there focusing on.

Speaker 10: The Republican plan contains a section devoted to making sure people receiving government health care assistance who win the lottery are removed from the program in an orderly fashion. In fact, 6 pages of this bill is devoted to letting states disenroll high-dollar lottery winners.

Speaker 0: Okay. So, a not insignificant percentage of this bill is focused on the urgent matter of what if 1 poor person suddenly becomes less poor? I'm honestly surprised they didn't also have a section covering what would happen in the event of a Freaky Friday type situation. If the Medicaid recipient Freaky Fridays into the body of an individual living above 138% of the federal poverty line, states are obligated to de-enroll recipients until recipient Freaky Friday's back, using wish or magic not otherwise specified, or Freaky Friday's into an eligible body. And yet...

And yet, despite all of this, Republican leaders are ferociously trying to jam this bill through. Already, it had been introduced in the House and passed by 2 committees. And yet, there is 1 person, though, you may have noticed, I haven't actually mentioned so far, and that is Donald Trump. And the reason he's been largely absent from our story is that he's been largely absent from this story in general. Because putting aside the prop comedy of the star of Mike and Molly, The White House has been pretty hands-off with this bill.

And is there really any way, deep down, that Trump has actually read this thing? Given that he recently said this.

Speaker 13: We have come up with a solution that's really, really, I think, very good. Now, I have to tell you, it's an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.

Speaker 0: Everybody knew that! Everybody knew! Health care is complicated. Literally, everybody. It is the 1 thing people know about healthcare, it's complicated.

It's like you're saying, who knew King Tut was dead? Everybody did! He's as dead as Barry Morris or Robin Gibb, or all of them, or none of them, there's no way to find out. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Trump has been noticeably distant from this whole process, and perhaps nothing shows that more than how this bill is being branded.

Speaker 12: Is it by any other name, Trumpcare?

Speaker 1: I'll call it... I'll call it Trumpcare if you want to, but I didn't hear President Trump say to any of us, -"Hey, I want

Speaker 14: my name on that." -$Holy

Speaker 0: shit! -$Holy shit! -$Holy shit! Trump is not clamoring to put his name on this bill, and he's put his name on some of the shittiest products in human history. He put his name on a vodka, even though he doesn't drink, whose slogan was, Success Distilled, which was discontinued.

He put his name on Trump toys, which looked like the answer to the question, if erectile dysfunction was a fabric, what fabric would it be? He even slapped his first and last names on Donald Trump Jr., a man who looks like a six-year-old's drawing of a mean bank teller. Trump not wanting his name on the healthcare bill is like Tyler Perry not wanting his name anywhere near Jew or Madea Hanukkah. But you know what? I can kind of understand Trump not wanting his name on this.

It contains almost nothing that he promised, as Laura Ingram pointed out this week on Fox & Friends.

Speaker 15: The Trumpism of the health care reform, the Trumpiest parts of it, were transparency in pricing, competition across state lines, and even on the edges, you know, repealing the McCarran-Ferguson Act. Where is that in this plan?

Speaker 0: Oh, I'll tell you, it's not in there. He is pushing a health care bill that is missing a lot of what he said he wanted, and that is the kind of top-shelf deal-making that you can read all about in his best-selling book, The Art of the... Wait, what was the deal I wanted again? Oh, I forget. Well, anyway, let's talk about how hot my daughter is, right, fellas?

Va-va-boom! And Trump clearly noticed that criticism. Because shortly after the segment aired, he tweeted, Don't worry, getting rid of state lines, which will promote competition, will be in phase 2 and 3 of healthcare rollout. And then, as if to eliminate any doubt as to whether he was watching Fox & Friends, he ended the tweet, at Fox & Friends. And by the way, it's just about that buying across state lines business.

Trump and Ryan keep promising that it's just around the corner, but 2 things you should know. 1, it probably won't lower prices. In fact, these 3 states currently allow it, but not a single out-of-state insurer has taken them up on the offer, which does actually make sense, because if you're an insurer in Massachusetts, it takes a massive amount of time and investment to set up new networks of doctors and hospitals in Maine. And that's assuming Maine even has doctors. I think it's mainly beavers with stethoscopes up there.

So, so this, this state line thing is something people love to talk about in theory, but no 1 really wants to do in practice. Like apple picking, or shower sex. But, But the even bigger issue is, it's almost certainly not going to happen. The state line's bullshit, and a lot of other things Trump has promised, are not in this bill, because they cannot be. As Paul Ryan well knows.

Speaker 2: Interstate shopping across state lines. We love that policy, we think it's critical, but as you well know, you cannot put that in a budget reconciliation bill, otherwise it could be filibustered.

Speaker 0: Exactly. He is right. For procedural reasons, this is being presented as a budget bill, which Republicans can pass with a simple Senate majority. Any non-budget related policy change requires 60 votes to beat a filibuster. So that is pretty much a dead end, meaning that this bill is in all likelihood all Trump can get passed to replace Obamacare.

So it is fucking important everyone understands what is in it. And that the something terrific that he promised, better coverage, lower costs, no 1 losing their health insurance, well, this bill is not it. The bill Trump is championing will actually increase costs for older, poor Americans, and will cause millions of people to lose coverage. Somebody needs to explain this to him. And since he is clearly still watching Fox & Friends, we might actually be able to help here.

Because you might remember last month, we bought time on that show to have our catheter cowboy explain to him what the nuclear triad is. Well, saddle up, partner, for tonight, you ride again. --CHEERING AND APPLAUSE --because think about it. Who better to tell Trump what this bill will do than someone who stands to be hurt by it? Someone in his 60s, in rural America, with an unspecified medical problem that requires constant treatment.

Please enjoy this ad, which will air on Fox & Friends in the D.C. Area on Wednesday morning.

Speaker 7: Attention catheter patients.

Speaker 5: Hi, me again. I'm a professional cowboy and I use catheters. Been cowboying for 25 years and there's 2 things I know. I don't like pain when I cath. And health care is a complicated business.

Everybody knows that. Literally. Everybody. Also, if my premiums go up and subsidies go down, I'm gonna wind up paying more. That's basic math there, fella.

That's like replacing my catheter with a garden hose. I don't want that. I do not like pain when I cath. The point is if that happens millions of folks like me might get real angry, which is worth thinking about if you're the sort of person who really likes being popular. You get that right?

Right? You get that. Right? Right? You get that, right?

See all LastWeekTonight transcripts on Youtube

American Health Care Act: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)