- John Oliver discusses a new children's show in Denmark called "John Dillermand"
- The show is about a man with a large and flexible penis that can do various tasks
- The show has been a hit in Denmark, with the first episode viewed by over 250,000 children
- Danish children's TV often addresses topics that may be considered taboo in the US
- The show is seen as wholesome and non-sexualized by the Danish public broadcaster
- John Oliver humorously relates to the show and its representation of penises
- Last Week Tonight will be back on July 25th

John Oliver explains why a Danish children's cartoon resonates with him so much.

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I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight.

We're off this week, but much like your fun aunt, I just can't seem to stop myself from posting shit on the Internet.

And the reason I wanted to speak to you was to discuss Denmark, the country known for Lego.

You know, choking hazards with brand sponsorships.

Specifically, I'd like to talk about children's television in Denmark, because since the beginning of this year, there's been a new show there that's got a lot of attention.

Denmark's flagship broadcaster has just introduced a new children's show called John Dillermand that's essentially an animation about a man with a huge and uncontrollable penis.

This man has a penis so massive and flexible it can save children from danger, fetch objects from a river, and even operate as a pogo stick.

Denmark has a kid's show called John Dillermand, about a claymation Super Mario who's dressed for a ski vacation and a 1920s beach party at the same time, and who, much more importantly, has a massive, stripy snake dick.

So I think now you can see why I wanted to talk to you so badly.

The dealer in Dillerman is Danish slang for penis, meaning that his name in English is basically John Penis Man, which is a perfect name for a man with a magical dong.

It would actually be a great nickname for my own penis if I hadn't already nicknamed it Hugh Grant, because it's British, aging, and I've been told it can be unpleasant to work with.

And you should know, it turns out, John Dillerman can do nearly anything with his appendage.

In his show, he uses it to walk some dogs, as you can see here.

He also uses it as a tightrope in a circus act, and to decorate a Christmas tree in spectacular fashion.

And in 1 unforgettable episode, he even gets suspended from balloons by his penis, which is both completely terrifying, and also how I assume Cirque du Soleil performers commute to work.

The show started airing in January, and was an instant hit, with the first episode being viewed by more than 250,000 children in just 5 days.

And I've got to say, it's so much more imaginative than what passes for children's entertainment here.

A fascist puppy police state, evangelical vegetables, a monkey who plagiarized his only personality trait from cats, and an eight-year-old aardvark who dresses like Alan Alda.

None of these characters can hold a candle to John Dillamond, because I guarantee none of them have ever saved a group of drowning children by using the centrifugal force of their cartoonishly long schlong.

You think Barney the Dinosaur could do that?

He'd probably just sing a song about friendship as though children sank into the waves.

And while you've already seen some of the footage inside it, I do want to make sure that you also hear some of the show's theme song.

John Dillerman, han er verkens eneste Dillerman ♪ -♪ Der er nesten ikke

Men kan spille nog, han kan pile flow ♪ -♪ Han kan redde hele verden med sin afriklåd

John Dillerman, John Dillerman, John Dillerman, oh, 0

But what you might be missing there is just how good the lyrics are.

He's been translated as, Hello, I am John Johnson.

There's almost nothing he can't do with it.

He can swing it around, he can get a bit embarrassed.

And the fascinating thing is that John Dillerman is not really an outlier in Danish kids' TV.

Danish culture routinely addresses topics with children that the U.S.

On Danish public TV, there are kids' programs that include a puppet coming to terms with their gender identity, a pirate who tries to join a satanic cult, and instead of the network going black at night, it plays a sleep-themed loop of humans and puppets snoring and farting at random intervals, which is not only incredible television, it's also a truly fantastic sleep aid.

I'll take unpredictable Danish puppet parts any day.

And DR, the public broadcaster behind this show, maintains that John Dillerman is genuinely wholesome, saying it's about the embarrassment and fun of the body, and that it was made with the help of a non-profit reproductive health organization and a child psychologist.

In fact, as the head of DR's children's department made clear, it's as desexualized as it can possibly get.

The problem is, there are some both in, but especially outside Denmark, who can't seem to get their head around the charms of this show.

Watch as a Danish expert gets grilled by a British morning host.

From your opinion, making this enormous penis, in fact, a bit of a hero, good idea?

Yeah, well, I don't think, as Ulla also says, I don't think you should think of this as a penis.

This is not a penis as we think of it as an adult.

Because you don't know that that is not the penis that everyone has.

And that actually brings us to the reason I wanted to talk to you about this show.

Because the reason John Dillerman resonated so much with me, isn't just that I found it interesting, or charming, or funny.

It's that I too, happen to have a 20-foot long animated hose dong.

As you can see, he has a suit and glasses just like me.

And for people like myself, John Dillerman is the representation on television that we've been looking for for a long time.

Because for us, our penises aren't necessarily sexual, are they?

Look, he can wiggle, he can show off his muscles, He can even make penis animals.

And he can become a limp worm, which, I will admit, is well within the wheelhouse of most penises.

Of course, unfortunately, I can't keep him out for long, because if he inadvertently gets excited, he siphons off about a gallon of my blood.

That and the fact that we'll be back July 25th.

Hey, Discovery, you're gonna own this soon.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hi there, Internet. I'm John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight. We're off this week, but much like your fun aunt, I just can't seem to stop myself from posting shit on the Internet. And the reason I wanted to speak to you was to discuss Denmark, the country known for Lego. You know, choking hazards with brand sponsorships.

Specifically, I'd like to talk about children's television in Denmark, because since the beginning of this year, there's been a new show there that's got a lot of attention.

Speaker 1: Denmark's flagship broadcaster has just introduced a new children's show called John Dillermand that's essentially an animation about a man with a huge and uncontrollable penis. This man has a penis so massive and flexible it can save children from danger, fetch objects from a river, and even operate as a pogo stick.

Speaker 0: Yeah, it's true. Denmark has a kid's show called John Dillermand, about a claymation Super Mario who's dressed for a ski vacation and a 1920s beach party at the same time, and who, much more importantly, has a massive, stripy snake dick. So I think now you can see why I wanted to talk to you so badly. The dealer in Dillerman is Danish slang for penis, meaning that his name in English is basically John Penis Man, which is a perfect name for a man with a magical dong. It would actually be a great nickname for my own penis if I hadn't already nicknamed it Hugh Grant, because it's British, aging, and I've been told it can be unpleasant to work with.

And you should know, it turns out, John Dillerman can do nearly anything with his appendage. In his show, he uses it to walk some dogs, as you can see here. He also uses it as a tightrope in a circus act, and to decorate a Christmas tree in spectacular fashion. And in 1 unforgettable episode, he even gets suspended from balloons by his penis, which is both completely terrifying, and also how I assume Cirque du Soleil performers commute to work. The show started airing in January, and was an instant hit, with the first episode being viewed by more than 250,000 children in just 5 days.

And I've got to say, it's so much more imaginative than what passes for children's entertainment here. Because think about it, what do we have? A fascist puppy police state, evangelical vegetables, a monkey who plagiarized his only personality trait from cats, and an eight-year-old aardvark who dresses like Alan Alda. None of these characters can hold a candle to John Dillamond, because I guarantee none of them have ever saved a group of drowning children by using the centrifugal force of their cartoonishly long schlong. You think Barney the Dinosaur could do that?

Of course not. He'd probably just sing a song about friendship as though children sank into the waves. Do something, Barney! And while you've already seen some of the footage inside it, I do want to make sure that you also hear some of the show's theme song. -♪

Speaker 2: John Dillerman, han er verkens eneste Dillerman ♪ -♪ Der er nesten ikke

Speaker 0: nog en

Speaker 2: han ikke kan med det

Speaker 0: ♪ -♪

Speaker 2: Men kan spille nog, han kan pile flow ♪ -♪ Han kan redde hele verden med sin afriklåd

Speaker 0: ♪ -♪

Speaker 2: John Dillerman, John Dillerman, John Dillerman, oh, 0

Speaker 0: ♪ I mean, musically, that's excellent. But what you might be missing there is just how good the lyrics are. It's been translated as... Come on!

Speaker 2: That's pretty good. He's been translated as, Hello, I am John Johnson. He has the world's longest Johnson. There's almost nothing he can't do with it. He can swing it around, he can get a bit embarrassed.

He could save the whole world if

Speaker 0: only he had the chance. Come on! That's profound! And the fascinating thing is that John Dillerman is not really an outlier in Danish kids' TV. Danish culture routinely addresses topics with children that the U.S.

Might think of as completely off-limits. On Danish public TV, there are kids' programs that include a puppet coming to terms with their gender identity, a pirate who tries to join a satanic cult, and instead of the network going black at night, it plays a sleep-themed loop of humans and puppets snoring and farting at random intervals, which is not only incredible television, it's also a truly fantastic sleep aid. Rainforest sounds? No thank you. I'll take unpredictable Danish puppet parts any day.

And DR, the public broadcaster behind this show, maintains that John Dillerman is genuinely wholesome, saying it's about the embarrassment and fun of the body, and that it was made with the help of a non-profit reproductive health organization and a child psychologist. In fact, as the head of DR's children's department made clear, it's as desexualized as it can possibly get. The problem is, there are some both in, but especially outside Denmark, who can't seem to get their head around the charms of this show. Watch as a Danish expert gets grilled by a British morning host.

Speaker 3: From your opinion, making this enormous penis, in fact, a bit of a hero, good idea?

Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I don't think, as Ulla also says, I don't think you should think of this as a penis. This is not a penis as we think of it as an adult. This is just a pattern. Why isn't

Speaker 3: it coming out of his knee? Why isn't it coming out of his chest? Why is it coming out of there?

Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, of course, it is a penis as such. But it's not a sexualized penis. It's the penis that a young child has.

Speaker 3: 20-foot long and striped? It's not the penis that everybody has? Well, hold on there.

Speaker 0: Because you don't know that that is not the penis that everyone has. And that actually brings us to the reason I wanted to talk to you about this show. Because the reason John Dillerman resonated so much with me, isn't just that I found it interesting, or charming, or funny. It's that I too, happen to have a 20-foot long animated hose dong. As you can see, he has a suit and glasses just like me.

And for people like myself, John Dillerman is the representation on television that we've been looking for for a long time. Because for us, our penises aren't necessarily sexual, are they? No, they're multi-talented. Look, he can wiggle, he can show off his muscles, He can even make penis animals. Ooh, a giraffe!

Fancy boy! And he can become a limp worm, which, I will admit, is well within the wheelhouse of most penises. Of course, unfortunately, I can't keep him out for long, because if he inadvertently gets excited, he siphons off about a gallon of my blood. So, back you go before I collapse, okay? -♪ Whistling ♪ -Pfft!

There we go. And that's it. That's really all I wanted to tell you. That and the fact that we'll be back July 25th. Hey, Discovery, you're gonna own this soon.

Congrats on the merger. It's gonna go great. Goodbye.

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John Dillermand: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Web Exclusive)