Taken from JRE #1926 w/Matt & Shane:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6V0yQ3V8UvGPQIzZIvq1Uq?si=310cb1c26cef4ad2

I'm pretty sure anxiety and depression are baked into the human experience.

I used to have wicked panic attacks when I was 23.

And it was the thing that like made me start thinking about my life I was like shocking in my I was like oh and if I had just gotten medication I just would have kept being a giant piece of shit mmm so I'm always like making but sometimes

you got to go through you know what I mean

yeah you got a slough through that stuff yeah I was a fucking how'd

shit I just fucking had to come to grips with the fact I was gonna die eventually

when you say a piece of shit you were just

not it wasn't even that I was just we doing just like selling drugs oh yeah I was a bad kid I had no excuse I'd like you know I wasn't like I was like my back to the wall.

I just got a couple jobs and I'm like, I don't like this.

Weed was the mainstay, but then I started like I got I got coerced in a pill I didn't even know what pills did so I was like my friends would talk me into going and like finding pills for them Turned into a whole thing dude.

Just stopped eventually No, I had like I didn't know what pills did and I remember watching a whole not even a whole But like it was an apartment complex, and there's these 2 buildings full of like all these kids were living there There's a long story, but like I somehow got my hands on Watson Pharmaceutical like jugs of fucking, they were Vicodins.

And like they were just, I didn't, I thought they

were- I love that I somehow got my hands on jugs of Vicodins.

How did, that's never happened to me, Weird.

I've never stumbled upon any jugs of Vicodin.

Dude, you know when you're at the pharmacy and you look behind the counter and it's those big boys?

going to jail you're talking about this on the podcast.

I was laying in bed just going Having panic attacks and it forced me to be like yes, probably pretty bad idea everything How'd you

I just stopped it made me develop like a sense of like yeah This is fucking other people up and I like saw people getting fucked up And I'm like I'm gonna stop doing

And I kept getting robbed the gunpoint times

after the first time like this is never gonna Happen again

after the first time I went back the plug robbed me at gunpoint, and he's like I won't do it again I was like okay

Yeah, it was like it was kind of a mess He I would give him money and he would go get them and then 1 time he came back without them And he I was like dude just have them I was so scared of these guys, and I was like you can just keep it all I don't care And he was like how do I know you didn't set me up, and he's pulled a gun out on me And I was like oh and my roommate walked down and went

yeah, and so then you tried to buy from him again

I found out who actually robbed me He's like if you could come back.

I'll take care of you all the while You know I'll like make it worth your while, and I'll just you'll Never have to put any money up ever again,

gun then apparently he got in trouble for I think he tried to shoot at Somebody so I went back to pay him back 1 time and then some guy was like nah He's in jail He tried to kill someone

But he tried to you said he pulled a gun on you twice

once a different guy pulled a gun on me You said he said he would never do it again.

some other guy There's some guy I was in a house and a guy came in with a gun.

Yeah, he it was like kind of like 1 of those things where a guy comes in and goes, Oh my god, some guy happened to be behind me with a gun, everyone get down, and I was sitting there like, this is bullshit.

So then he just took the money, took the weed, and then he was like Just like who the fuck you know boy.

He started telling me like I was on his territory It's then I was like dude come on man And I just sat there, and he just talked for like 2 minutes And he's like if you guys try to look out the window we're gonna there's people outside They're gonna shoot you he took all of her cell phones.

I did have a thousand bucks behind my back So I didn't tell him about so I got to keep that

of people would have lost the composer Thankfully that other guy pulled his gun on you before so you

do know what what no what happens though is you lose?

Everything slows down And you're able to like I was in that the first time I just shit my pants the second time I was like Looking at the kid who I never met before Who I knew kind of set this up because I watched 1 kid I knew like being a real state of fear and I watched this other guy pretending to be scared all while this guy to Ski mask was like the gun and it was just like fuck I really like the part of my brain like I might get shot just went off line And I was able to watch and be like I'm gonna fucking kill this little motherfucker when this guy you know But

I was too trusting I got robbed cons I got robbed by club 1 time Club Point sucked

was with a shillelagh He's a non-violent drug dealer, yeah, so

how did you How did you start making money when you quit?

I always worked in construction and stuff too.

I'd always have a side gig, so I never depended on 1 too much.

So I could always say like, fuck you to my job if I didn't like it, and if things got weird, I could be like, I'm not gonna do it.

And how'd you get into podcasting I was a comedian me and Shane we're just living together I'm like dude can we please do a podcast I'm fucking

is it called getting case we've gotten Shane secret podcast

But yeah man that was it's not the way that was not the way.

say you got some good stories out of it though and you lived.

Pretty good yeah pretty good but I lived I was living according to a fucked up system and it was like Things called mental disorders got me out of it.


Speaker 0: The Jerogen experience. I'm pretty sure anxiety and depression are baked into the human experience. I don't think you can get away from it.

Speaker 1: Dude, you sound like a good Catholic.

Speaker 0: That's what I'm saying, man.

Speaker 1: That's what being Catholic

Speaker 0: is all about. Dude, here's the other thing. I used to have wicked panic attacks when I was 23. And I was also a gigantic piece of shit. And it was the thing that like made me start thinking about my life I was like shocking in my I was like oh and if I had just gotten medication I just would have kept being a giant piece of shit mmm so I'm always like making but sometimes

Speaker 1: you got to go through you know what I mean

Speaker 0: yeah you got a slough through that stuff yeah I was a fucking how'd

Speaker 1: you pull out of it

Speaker 0: shit I just fucking had to come to grips with the fact I was gonna die eventually

Speaker 1: when you say a piece of shit you were just

Speaker 0: dude I was just a monster bro

Speaker 1: we taking

Speaker 0: not it wasn't even that I was just we doing just like selling drugs oh yeah I was a bad kid I had no excuse I'd like you know I wasn't like I was like my back to the wall. I just got a couple jobs and I'm like, I don't like this. I was like, I should sell drugs.

Speaker 1: What kind of drugs were you selling?

Speaker 0: Pretty much everything. Really? Weed was the mainstay, but then I started like I got I got coerced in a pill I didn't even know what pills did so I was like my friends would talk me into going and like finding pills for them Turned into a whole thing dude. It was it was bad. How'd you get out of it?

Just stopped eventually No, I had like I didn't know what pills did and I remember watching a whole not even a whole But like it was an apartment complex, and there's these 2 buildings full of like all these kids were living there There's a long story, but like I somehow got my hands on Watson Pharmaceutical like jugs of fucking, they were Vicodins. And like they were just, I didn't, I thought they

Speaker 1: were- I love that I somehow got my hands on jugs of Vicodins. Something happened.

Speaker 0: How did, that's never happened to me, Weird.

Speaker 1: I've never stumbled upon any jugs of Vicodin. I've never opened up a cabinet. Look at these jugs. I don't think I've ever seen a Vicodin.

Speaker 0: What's a jug of Vicodin?

Speaker 1: How many are we talking?

Speaker 0: Dude, you know when you're at the pharmacy and you look behind the counter and it's those big boys?

Speaker 1: Oh, like a whey protein bottle? Yes. A Vicodin. Scoop protein things? How much was that worth?

Speaker 0: At the time it was you're

Speaker 1: going to jail you're talking about this on the podcast. You're fucked.

Speaker 0: Yeah statute limitations

Speaker 1: What is the statute?

Speaker 0: I don't know That's basically a thing. I was just a fucking nightmare. Turn out the jets. That was the thing.

Speaker 1: I'd be- So you, statute of limitations.

Speaker 0: You're good. This was before the statute. The statute.

Speaker 1: The French gave us this.

Speaker 0: I was laying in bed just going Having panic attacks and it forced me to be like yes, probably pretty bad idea everything How'd you

Speaker 1: how'd you phase out of it?

Speaker 0: I just stopped it made me develop like a sense of like yeah This is fucking other people up and I like saw people getting fucked up And I'm like I'm gonna stop doing

Speaker 1: you kept getting robbed the gunpoint

Speaker 0: And I kept getting robbed the gunpoint times

Speaker 1: you get robbed gunpoint twice

Speaker 0: whoa twice twice

Speaker 1: after the first time like this is never gonna Happen again

Speaker 0: after the first time I went back the plug robbed me at gunpoint, and he's like I won't do it again I was like okay

Speaker 1: What's the plug

Speaker 0: dude who's your supplier oh?

Speaker 1: Your supplier robbed you at gunpoint.

Speaker 0: Yeah, it was like it was kind of a mess He I would give him money and he would go get them and then 1 time he came back without them And he I was like dude just have them I was so scared of these guys, and I was like you can just keep it all I don't care And he was like how do I know you didn't set me up, and he's pulled a gun out on me And I was like oh and my roommate walked down and went

Speaker 1: yeah, and so then you tried to buy from him again

Speaker 0: No, I told him he like time passing. He's like dude. I'm so sorry. I found out who actually robbed me He's like if you could come back. I'll take care of you all the while You know I'll like make it worth your while, and I'll just you'll Never have to put any money up ever again,

Speaker 1: and then what happened

Speaker 0: guys went back So you know

Speaker 1: then he happened to just pull his

Speaker 0: gun then apparently he got in trouble for I think he tried to shoot at Somebody so I went back to pay him back 1 time and then some guy was like nah He's in jail He tried to kill someone

Speaker 1: But he tried to you said he pulled a gun on you twice

Speaker 0: once a different guy pulled a gun on me You said he said he would never do it again. He didn't he was true to his word

Speaker 1: So that guy would never do it again. He was the other guy did it

Speaker 0: some other guy There's some guy I was in a house and a guy came in with a gun. That was that stunk.

Speaker 1: What was this about?

Speaker 0: Weed pounds

Speaker 1: You said give me your weed.

Speaker 0: Yeah, he it was like kind of like 1 of those things where a guy comes in and goes, Oh my god, some guy happened to be behind me with a gun, everyone get down, and I was sitting there like, this is bullshit. So then he just took the money, took the weed, and then he was like Just like who the fuck you know boy. He started telling me like I was on his territory It's then I was like dude come on man And I just sat there, and he just talked for like 2 minutes And he's like if you guys try to look out the window we're gonna there's people outside They're gonna shoot you he took all of her cell phones. I did have a thousand bucks behind my back So I didn't tell him about so I got to keep that

Speaker 1: That's pretty sweet.

Speaker 0: That was pretty thought

Speaker 1: of people would have lost the composer Thankfully that other guy pulled his gun on you before so you

Speaker 0: do know what what no what happens though is you lose? Everything slows down And you're able to like I was in that the first time I just shit my pants the second time I was like Looking at the kid who I never met before Who I knew kind of set this up because I watched 1 kid I knew like being a real state of fear and I watched this other guy pretending to be scared all while this guy to Ski mask was like the gun and it was just like fuck I really like the part of my brain like I might get shot just went off line And I was able to watch and be like I'm gonna fucking kill this little motherfucker when this guy you know But

Speaker 1: and so how long after that did you stop?

Speaker 0: Couple years I was chasing the bag dude. I Didn't make any money. I got robbed constantly. I was too trusting I got robbed cons I got robbed by club 1 time Club Point sucked

Speaker 1: club.

Speaker 0: Hey guys. We're like well. I should win

Speaker 1: with a

Speaker 0: shillelagh I

Speaker 1: was with a shillelagh He's a non-violent drug dealer, yeah, so

Speaker 0: how did you How did you start making money when you quit? I always worked in construction and stuff too. I'd always have a side gig, so I never depended on 1 too much. So I could always say like, fuck you to my job if I didn't like it, and if things got weird, I could be like, I'm not gonna do it. I would chill.

Speaker 1: So I

Speaker 0: had a kind of like hybrid approach. And how'd you get into podcasting I was a comedian me and Shane we're just living together I'm like dude can we please do a podcast I'm fucking

Speaker 1: dying yeah

Speaker 0: yeah I was just I mean I was what

Speaker 1: is it called getting case we've gotten Shane secret podcast

Speaker 0: But yeah man that was it's not the way that was not the way.

Speaker 1: No doesn't sound like the way. But

Speaker 0: I was- I would

Speaker 1: say you got some good stories out of it though and you lived.

Speaker 0: Pretty good yeah pretty good but I lived I was living according to a fucked up system and it was like Things called mental disorders got me out of it. That's what I'm trying to say.

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How Matt McCusker Got Scared Straight