Taken from JRE #2036 w/Kurt Angle:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4AtV76QOmhvufzQgYeLQnh?si=56edcf3b96104eb6

Well, throughout my career, was there anything that I would change?

Well, we'll get into this topic, I guess.

After I broke my neck the second time, the first time in WWE, I was introduced to painkillers and when I started taking them I really liked it.

I mean it it masked the pain I couldn't feel the pain it kind of gave me an energetic feel.

It didn't make me feel nauseous like it does a lot of people.

I was taking 1 every 4 to 6 hours, like I was told.

But after a while, you build a tolerance, and 1 doesn't work anymore.

Then you have to take 2, and 2 led to 4, 4 led to 8.

Oxycontins are a lot more powerful than Vicodin.

But I was taking 65 extra drinks of Vicodin a day.

And does that even make you high at that point?

It kept me from going through withdrawals, but there were times where I passed out.

I mean, the company knew, some of my friends knew.

There was 1 point, this is how bad it got.

There was 1 point in my career where my brother called me, I was at a house show, an untelevised show for WWE.

It was the night before I was gonna have the biggest match of my career with Brock Lesnar the next day.

And my brother calls me and says, hey, your sister just died of a heroin overdose.

I was in such pain thinking about my sister who was only 40 years old, dying from a heroin overdose.

And the thing is, I wasn't able to talk to her because I told her 8 months prior, if she doesn't get clean, I'm not gonna talk to you.

So here I am, I'm in the hotel room, and I look at my pills.

I took 20 of them, threw them in my mouth, chewed them up, and swallowed them.

I didn't wake up till 05:00 in the afternoon the next day.

And I had the biggest match of my career.

So what time did you have to be to the arena and did you do it?

Well, we had to be there at 1, but I didn't get there till

The WLB was trying to call me the whole time.

They were like, they wanted to tell me that, hey, you can go home, plan a funeral for your sister, you don't have to do this match.

But I kept thinking, I know my sister will want me to.

And I knew that I wouldn't have to feel that pain of losing my sister, at least for that hour.

And it was actually 1 of my best performances of my career, which is kind of crazy, but that was a really rough time.

The painkillers are the 1 thing that I do regret I did in the company.

I mean, it sounds like you were in such excruciating pain all the time.

There were times I needed to take them and there were times I didn't but I was so far deep into it that I had to.

I mean I'm not gonna lie to you I would go to sleep at night I would have 15 pills sitting on the desk next to me for when I wake up because I knew I was gonna have withdrawal when I got up.

I wake up sweating, shaking, and I grab those, throw them in my mouth, chew them up, and swallow them.

I honestly, I don't think I should be here today.

Okay, Well, what happened was I left the WWE because they wanted me to go to rehab I don't want to go so I ended up going to another company called impact wrestling And I got my painkiller problem under control there because I got I found a doctor that got me on MS cotton.

There are 2 Morphine pills, They're very tiny, but they'll keep you from going through withdrawal.

So I would take 1 in the morning, 1 at night, and no more painkillers.

They were painkillers because they were morphine, but they were high dose.

It was just 2 of them that I had to take.

Well, I started having anxiety about breaking my neck over and over again, so they put me on Xanax.

And then I switched to TNA, Impact Wrestling, and everybody drank there, so I started drinking alcohol.

So I'm mixing, having these cocktails, And I'm so out of control that I'm driving, okay, from town to town, drinking a 12-pack of beer.

I lost my reputation, everything I worked for.

I remember calling my wife from jail after my fourth DUI and she said, listen, I can't do this anymore.

You either go to rehab or I'm taking the kids and I'm leaving.

So I went to rehab because I didn't want to lose my wife and my kids.

First of all, the withdrawal was the worst experience I ever had.

I'll never go through that again because I'm never going to take another painkiller.

That was the worst thing I've ever done or drink another drop of alcohol.

That was the absolute worst thing I've ever been through.

And I forget what I was going to say, though.

So with the rehab, how do they get you off of it?

I thought they were going to wean me off.

They put you in a room and let you sleep and they check on you every couple hours and it took me about 6 days for me to go through the withdrawal symptoms.

So 6 days, you just in a room by yourself.

And you're so exhausted for the first 2 and a half weeks, I didn't want to move.

But they were forcing me to get out of bed and conversating with people and trying to go and eat and go to meetings and do all that stuff you do in rehab.

How long did it take before you felt normal?

Well, I would say 2 weeks where I really felt normal.

But the thing is, the last 2 weeks, because I spent a month in rehab, last 2 weeks I was so nervous that I was gonna fuck up again.

Like, I literally didn't want to leave rehab.

I was scared that I was gonna go back to it right when I got out.

That's why, like, I hear all these stories, and I'm like, oh, it's gonna happen to you too, man.

And, you know, but the 1 thing that I kept going across in my mind was going through a withdrawal.

And I know if I start taking them, I'm gonna have to experience that again, and I don't want to.

Okay, you're sweating because you're hot and you're cold at the same time.

You feel like you don't have anything inside of you.

It's the most painful thing I've ever gone through.

I'm sure people have been in a lot more pain than that with certain things they've had done to themselves, but for me, that was the worst.


Speaker 0: The Joe Rogan Experience

Speaker 1: Well, throughout my career, was there anything that I would change? Yeah. Well, we'll get into this topic, I guess. After I broke my neck the second time, the first time in WWE, I was introduced to painkillers and when I started taking them I really liked it. I mean it it masked the pain I couldn't feel the pain it kind of gave me an energetic feel.

It didn't make me feel nauseous like it does a lot of people. And I started taking it. I was taking 1 every 4 to 6 hours, like I was told. But after a while, you build a tolerance, and 1 doesn't work anymore. Then you have to take 2, and 2 led to 4, 4 led to 8.

Was this OxyContins? This was extra strength Vicodin. Oxycontins are a lot more powerful than Vicodin. But I was taking 65 extra drinks of Vicodin a day. Whoa.

That's how out of control I got. And I was hiding it from the company. And I mean, I was in serious trouble.

Speaker 0: And does that even make you high at that point? Does it just keep you from going

Speaker 1: into withdrawals? It kept me from going through withdrawals, but there were times where I passed out. I mean, the company knew, some of my friends knew. You know, I'll give you an example. There was 1 point, this is how bad it got.

There was 1 point in my career where my brother called me, I was at a house show, an untelevised show for WWE. It was the night before I was gonna have the biggest match of my career with Brock Lesnar the next day. It was an Iron Man match on SmackDown. And my brother calls me and says, hey, your sister just died of a heroin overdose. And it crushed me.

I mean, I was crying. I was in such pain thinking about my sister who was only 40 years old, dying from a heroin overdose. And the thing is, I wasn't able to talk to her because I told her 8 months prior, if she doesn't get clean, I'm not gonna talk to you. So I didn't talk to her for 8 months. And then this happens.

Oh. So here I am, I'm in the hotel room, and I look at my pills. I said, fuck it. I took 20 of them, threw them in my mouth, chewed them up, and swallowed them. Oh my God.

I didn't wake up till 05:00 in the afternoon the next day. And I had the biggest match of my career. Oh my God. That night.

Speaker 2: So what time did you have to be to the arena and did you do it?

Speaker 1: Well, we had to be there at 1, but I didn't get there till

Speaker 0: 530.

Speaker 2: Right.

Speaker 1: Yeah. But yeah, I ended up doing it. The WLB was trying to call me the whole time. They were like, they wanted to tell me that, hey, you can go home, plan a funeral for your sister, you don't have to do this match. But I kept thinking, I know my sister will want me to.

And I knew that I wouldn't have to feel that pain of losing my sister, at least for that hour. So I went ahead and did it. And it was actually 1 of my best performances of my career, which is kind of crazy, but that was a really rough time. The painkillers are the 1 thing that I do regret I did in the company. I wish I was never introduced to them.

Speaker 0: But do you think you had to take them? I mean, it sounds like you were in such excruciating pain all the time.

Speaker 1: There were times I needed to take them and there were times I didn't but I was so far deep into it that I had to. I mean I'm not gonna lie to you I would go to sleep at night I would have 15 pills sitting on the desk next to me for when I wake up because I knew I was gonna have withdrawal when I got up. I wake up sweating, shaking, and I grab those, throw them in my mouth, chew them up, and swallow them.

Speaker 0: 15 at a time?

Speaker 1: 15 at a time. Wow. Yeah. Most people, 15 at

Speaker 0: a time will kill you.

Speaker 1: Well, it didn't kill me. I took 20 at 1 time when my sister died. So I've been really lucky. I've been blessed. I honestly, I don't think I should be here today.

Speaker 0: How'd you get off of them?

Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what happened was I left the WWE because they wanted me to go to rehab I don't want to go so I ended up going to another company called impact wrestling And I got my painkiller problem under control there because I got I found a doctor that got me on MS cotton. There are 2 Morphine pills, They're very tiny, but they'll keep you from going through withdrawal. So I would take 1 in the morning, 1 at night, and no more painkillers. They were painkillers because they were morphine, but they were high dose. It was just 2 of them that I had to take.

Well, I started having anxiety about breaking my neck over and over again, so they put me on Xanax. So now I'm taking Xanax. And then I switched to TNA, Impact Wrestling, and everybody drank there, so I started drinking alcohol. So I'm mixing, having these cocktails, And I'm so out of control that I'm driving, okay, from town to town, drinking a 12-pack of beer. And I got 4 DUIs in 5 years.

I lost my reputation, everything I worked for. I was at the lowest point in my life. I remember calling my wife from jail after my fourth DUI and she said, listen, I can't do this anymore. You either go to rehab or I'm taking the kids and I'm leaving. So I went to rehab because I didn't want to lose my wife and my kids.

And I was scared in rehab. I literally thought, I was so nervous. First of all, the withdrawal was the worst experience I ever had. I'll never go through that again because I'm never going to take another painkiller. That was the worst thing I've ever done or drink another drop of alcohol.

That was the absolute worst thing I've ever been through. And I forget what I was going to say, though.

Speaker 0: So with the rehab, how do they get you off of it?

Speaker 2: They don't do it cold turkey, right?

Speaker 1: They do. Do they? Do they? Yes, they do. I thought they were going to wean me off.

That's what I thought, too. They put you in a room and let you sleep and they check on you every couple hours and it took me about 6 days for me to go through the withdrawal symptoms. It seemed like forever.

Speaker 0: So 6 days, you just in a room by yourself. Just thinking.

Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know what? And you want to stay in there. And they start forcing you out. You got to come move around.

You got to come out and talk to people. You got to live your life. And you're so exhausted for the first 2 and a half weeks, I didn't want to move. I just wanted to stay in my bed. But they were forcing me to get out of bed and conversating with people and trying to go and eat and go to meetings and do all that stuff you do in rehab.

So it was really tough.

Speaker 0: How long did it take before you felt normal?

Speaker 1: Well, I would say 2 weeks where I really felt normal. But the thing is, the last 2 weeks, because I spent a month in rehab, last 2 weeks I was so nervous that I was gonna fuck up again. Like, I literally didn't want to leave rehab. I was scared that I was gonna go back to it right when I got out. So many guys do.

It's so crazy. That's why, like, I hear all these stories, and I'm like, oh, it's gonna happen to you too, man. And, you know, but the 1 thing that I kept going across in my mind was going through a withdrawal. I don't wanna do that again. And I know if I start taking them, I'm gonna have to experience that again, and I don't want to.

It was that bad? It was that bad.

Speaker 0: What is it like? Like what is

Speaker 1: what you're all feeling? Okay, you're sweating because you're hot and you're cold at the same time. You're shitting your pants. You're throwing up. You can't think straight.

Your body's shaking. You're getting hot sweats, cold sweats. You feel like you don't have anything inside of you. No insides, no organs, nothing. You feel like you're hollow.

It's just the craziest thing. It's the most painful thing I've ever gone through. I'm sure people have been in a lot more pain than that with certain things they've had done to themselves, but for me, that was the worst.

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Kurt Angle Candidly Speaks About Regretting Past Drug Use