A reflection on how growing up in the social media era has affected people's relationship with reality.

The Impact of Social Media on Reality

The author's experience of becoming a mother and how it shifted her focus away from social media and ego preoccupation.

Motherhood as a Breakthrough

Exploring the spiritual distinction between pride and humility, and how humility allows one to be fully present in the moment.

Pride and Humility

The contrast between the distanciation of pride and the depth of experience in humility, emphasizing the importance of being in touch with reality.

The Joy of Being Present

The author's personal example of how the experience of motherhood broke through ego preoccupation and allowed her to connect with reality.

The Arrival of a Baby

Reflecting on the enduring spiritual lesson of breaking through ego preoccupation and experiencing the richness of reality.

The Enduring Lesson

- The article discusses how the social media era has affected the younger generation's relationship with reality.
- The author, Sarah Menketic, highlights how social media has trained people to always be aware of an audience and to constantly seek validation and critique.
- Becoming a mother helped the author break free from the need for an audience and allowed her to fully immerse herself in the reality of the experience.
- The article also explores the spiritual distinction between pride and humility.
- Pride is described as a distanciation from reality, where one is constantly aware of their ego and the reactions of others.
- Humility, on the other hand, is being fully present in a conversation without the need for validation or performance.
- The author suggests that social media can contribute to this distanciation from reality and ego preoccupation.
- The arrival of the author's baby helped her break free from this and experience the joy of being fully present in reality.

A recent article reminds us that social media can be a breeding ground for the unique type of spiritual distortion and dislocation that we traditionally call pride. What made all the difference for her was the arrival of her baby, in all of his densely-textured reality—a reality that she could appropriate only through humility.

Well, on a recent airline trip, I was leafing through the magazine in the seatback pocket and I came across this article by a woman named Sarah Menketic.

It was called, Unfiltered, How Motherhood Interrupted My Relationship With Social Media.

I found the article really well written and witty and engaging.

The more I reflected on it, the more I thought, it's making a very important spiritual point, especially about people today.

Now, her major point is this, that those in her generation who have come of age in the social media era.

So they've swum in the sea of YouTube and Pinterest and Facebook and everything else from the time they were kids.

They have a very interesting relationship to reality because they were trained not just to have experiences, but always to be aware of an audience because they were recording their experience so that it might be presented to an audience who would then critique it or react to it or comment on it.

And what this did was it produced an interesting sort of distanciation from reality.

It was the constant awareness of a potential audience to whatever you're experiencing.

Now I want to just quote something from the article I thought was good as she sums this up.

She says, I've come of age as a writer at a time when it's no longer possible just to write.

A writer must also promote her work and in the process promote herself as a person of interest.

I learned the snarky, casually intellectual voice of feminist and pop culture bloggers, the easy outrage, the clubby camaraderie.

So, that was the world she came of age in, where she learned how to write, to an audience, and always aware of herself as a kind of media personality.

What happened to her was she became a mother.

She had this viscerally real experience of becoming a mother.

And she said 1 day she was with her infant child on the front porch of her house, and it suddenly dawned on her That she had no interest in Snark she had no interest in an audience that might want to comment on her experience.

She wanted to get utterly into her experience and let it simply wash over her.

It's as though the dense reality of this baby blew away her preoccupation with an audience and with being a personality.

Here's something else I want to just read directly from the article.

Before I had a child, I took it for granted that no intellectual writer type could ever be taken seriously were she to cave into conventional sentiment.

As a mother, I was swept away by these huge, ancient, universal emotions I'd previously dismissed as uncomplicated.

It's as though her baby just kind of broke through this carapace of self-regard, this sort of knowing, snarky distanciation from reality, this always playing to an audience.

And she found herself immersed in the reality of the experience.

So it's a cool commentary on the generation today, coming of age with social media, But it also points to a very ancient spiritual distinction between what is classically called humility and pride.

Now, to get at this, I want to propose 2 scenarios.

Because I think what the spiritual tradition means by pride and humility is actually very different than our conventional sense of the 2 of them.

So you're in a conversation with a person.

Maybe it's a popular person that you want to impress.

But you're in the conversation, but you're very aware of the effect you're having, of how successfully you're reaching your audience.

You're aware of yourself having the experience.

So what I mean here is, you know, as you tell a joke, you're very attentive.

Is she reacting the way I wanted her to react?

Am I laughing at her because she's like really funny or because I want to impress her.

You're following the conversation as a kind of interested spectator, your main preoccupation being your own ego.

Now we all know that kind of experience and They are wincingly painful, those experiences.

Now, the reason is, you are distanciated from reality.

It's as though you're looking at reality through a thick, distorting pane of glass.

It's as though you're a spectator to your own ego and the reactions to your own ego.

So, you don't think automatically of the self-elevation of the ego.

That can be an effect of pride or 1 of the faces of pride.

But in itself, it's a weird distanciation from reality.

It's going through life with the monkey of your own ego always on your back.

Now you're in a conversation with a friend and you're not the least bit interested in impressing him, in performing.

You're simply lost in the rhythm of the conversation.

You're laughing at a comment when it's really funny, not because you're trying to impress him You tell a joke because it's a good thing to tell a joke not because you're trying to be impressive to your audience In that kind of experience time tends to fly by There's something rich and wonderful It's not wincingly painful.

It's like 1 of the best experiences of life.

That's what the classical spiritual tradition means by humility.

Again, don't think right away of, you know, abjection and who am I?

I mean that might be a technique to cultivate humility.

But as Thomas Aquinas said, Humilitas Veritas.

You've taken away the thick, distorting pane of glass, and you are in touch with reality.

You're not seeing the world through the entrance of the ego.

That's why it's light and wonderful and rich.

The word humilitas, of course, is from the Latin word humus, which means the earth or the ground.

It means you're in touch with gritty reality.

Now, go back to the article that I referenced.

I think it's a beautiful example of how the social media world, and mind you, I'm using it right now, so I appreciate the social media.

But how they can produce in people who are immersed in them all the time, this weird distanciation from reality, this preoccupation with the ego and its needs.

What's wonderful in her experience, the author of the article, is it was the arrival of her baby, This densely real thing that happened to her, that allowed her to break through the distorting glass of egotism, and audience awareness, and ego preoccupation, and allowed her to experience humus, the ground, the earth.

That's an enduring spiritual lesson for everybody.


Speaker 0: Well, on a recent airline trip, I was leafing through the magazine in the seatback pocket and I came across this article by a woman named Sarah Menketic. It was called, Unfiltered, How Motherhood Interrupted My Relationship With Social Media. I found the article really well written and witty and engaging. The more I reflected on it, the more I thought, it's making a very important spiritual point, especially about people today. Now, her major point is this, that those in her generation who have come of age in the social media era.

So they've swum in the sea of YouTube and Pinterest and Facebook and everything else from the time they were kids. They have a very interesting relationship to reality because they were trained not just to have experiences, but always to be aware of an audience because they were recording their experience so that it might be presented to an audience who would then critique it or react to it or comment on it. And what this did was it produced an interesting sort of distanciation from reality. It was the constant awareness of a potential audience to whatever you're experiencing. Now I want to just quote something from the article I thought was good as she sums this up.

She says, I've come of age as a writer at a time when it's no longer possible just to write. A writer must also promote her work and in the process promote herself as a person of interest. I learned the snarky, casually intellectual voice of feminist and pop culture bloggers, the easy outrage, the clubby camaraderie. So, that was the world she came of age in, where she learned how to write, to an audience, and always aware of herself as a kind of media personality. Right?

Now, what happened to her? What happened to her was she became a mother. She had this viscerally real experience of becoming a mother. And she said 1 day she was with her infant child on the front porch of her house, and it suddenly dawned on her That she had no interest in Snark she had no interest in an audience that might want to comment on her experience. She wanted to get utterly into her experience and let it simply wash over her.

It's as though the dense reality of this baby blew away her preoccupation with an audience and with being a personality. Here's something else I want to just read directly from the article. Listen. Before I had a child, I took it for granted that no intellectual writer type could ever be taken seriously were she to cave into conventional sentiment. As a mother, I was swept away by these huge, ancient, universal emotions I'd previously dismissed as uncomplicated.

It's very interesting, isn't it? It's as though her baby just kind of broke through this carapace of self-regard, this sort of knowing, snarky distanciation from reality, this always playing to an audience. And she found herself immersed in the reality of the experience. Now, here's what I find interesting. So it's a cool commentary on the generation today, coming of age with social media, But it also points to a very ancient spiritual distinction between what is classically called humility and pride.

Now, to get at this, I want to propose 2 scenarios. Because I think what the spiritual tradition means by pride and humility is actually very different than our conventional sense of the 2 of them. Here's scenario number 1. So you're in a conversation with a person. Maybe it's a prospective employer.

Maybe it's a popular person that you want to impress. But you're in the conversation, but you're very aware of the effect you're having, of how successfully you're reaching your audience. You're aware of yourself having the experience. So what I mean here is, you know, as you tell a joke, you're very attentive. Did she get the joke?

Is she reacting the way I wanted her to react? Am I laughing at her because she's like really funny or because I want to impress her. You're following the conversation as a kind of interested spectator, your main preoccupation being your own ego. Now we all know that kind of experience and They are wincingly painful, those experiences. Now, the reason is, you are distanciated from reality.

It's as though you're looking at reality through a thick, distorting pane of glass. It's as though you're a spectator to your own ego and the reactions to your own ego. That, classically, is called pride. So, you don't think automatically of the self-elevation of the ego. That can be an effect of pride or 1 of the faces of pride.

But in itself, it's a weird distanciation from reality. It's going through life with the monkey of your own ego always on your back. Now contrast that experience to this 1. Now you're in a conversation with a friend and you're not the least bit interested in impressing him, in performing. You're simply lost in the rhythm of the conversation.

You're following it wherever it leads. You're laughing at a comment when it's really funny, not because you're trying to impress him You tell a joke because it's a good thing to tell a joke not because you're trying to be impressive to your audience In that kind of experience time tends to fly by There's something rich and wonderful It's not wincingly painful. Just the contrary. It's like 1 of the best experiences of life. That's what the classical spiritual tradition means by humility.

Again, don't think right away of, you know, abjection and who am I? I mean that might be a technique to cultivate humility. But as Thomas Aquinas said, Humilitas Veritas. Humility is truth. See where I'm driving at.

You've taken away the thick, distorting pane of glass, and you are in touch with reality. The monkey of the ego is off your back. You're not seeing the world through the entrance of the ego. You're simply in it. You're in it.

And that's what gives you joy. That's why time flies. That's why it's light and wonderful and rich. Humilitas Veritas. The word humilitas, of course, is from the Latin word humus, which means the earth or the ground.

It's very important. It means you're in touch with gritty reality. Now, go back to the article that I referenced. I think it's a beautiful example of how the social media world, and mind you, I'm using it right now, so I appreciate the social media. They're not in themselves bad.

But how they can produce in people who are immersed in them all the time, this weird distanciation from reality, this preoccupation with the ego and its needs. What's wonderful in her experience, the author of the article, is it was the arrival of her baby, This densely real thing that happened to her, that allowed her to break through the distorting glass of egotism, and audience awareness, and ego preoccupation, and allowed her to experience humus, the ground, the earth. That's an enduring spiritual lesson for everybody.

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Bishop Barron on Pride, Humility, and Social Media