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I feel like everybody at some point in their life has met somebody who was truly inspiring.

You know, they seem to have their life figured out.

They are determined, they can carve out their own destiny, they create their own luck.

And on the flip side, A lot of us have met people who seem to just bury themselves in a hole and are unable to get out of it.

You know, they are unable to recognize the opportunities in front of them.

They harbor a lot of negativity towards life and they seem perpetually stuck, helpless against seemingly endless negative external forces.

And I feel like a lot of people talk about these 2 types of people and try to distill 1 single belief or concept that separates the 2 of them.

And if you just adopt this belief, then you'll be like the successful person and not like the unsuccessful person.

But I feel like it's a little foolish to do so because everybody's life is so wildly different.

You know, people had different upbringings, people have such different instilled beliefs about the world or religion or whatever, it's hard to just say that 1 single belief will change someone's life for the better for eternity and they'll never experience hardship again.

But I have noticed 1 trait that successful people seem to share more often than unsuccessful people and I can't help but think that there is a strong correlation between having that belief and having success in life.

And that is that successful people tend to have an internal locus of control, and less successful people tend to have an external 1.

Locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces, have control over the outcome of events in their lives.

So you watching this right now either have an external locus of control or an internal locus of control.

And I think the severity of either of these extremes was formed through your childhood and your development and your transition into adulthood.

Because children, very young children especially, have an external locus of control.

External forces have control over the outcomes of events in their lives.

When you're a kid, you're pretty much absolutely helpless, especially when you're a very young kid.

You know, you can't really feed yourself or clothe yourself.

You're so dependent on a parental figure to provide you with all of your needs that you basically have no choice but to develop a very external locus of control.

The situations of your life are entirely out of your control and you're entirely dependent on some sort of third party to provide you with what you need to survive.

Like kids don't really have a choice in the matter.

That's a factual and realistic belief to have as a kid.

But hopefully you had a competent parental figure or leader as you were growing up that kind of taught you the ropes, how to cook, how to clean, how to make money, how to fend for yourself in the world.

I've always thought that if a parent does their job right, they basically phase themselves out.

Hopefully by the time you're an adult, you still want your parents around, but you don't need them around.

You know, if they were to die, you'd be okay.

But unfortunately for a lot of us, we bring a lot of the helplessness of childhood into adulthood.

We never shake the idea that we need to be provided for somehow.

We remain dependent on some sort of external system to provide us with the necessary materials to survive and thrive.

And a lot of the time, this is really hard to spot.

From an occupational standpoint, sometimes this can look like, you know, being unsatisfied with your job and you're working so hard, but getting paid so little.

So you externalize this struggle onto your boss or your provider and you blame him for your life's problems.

My life sucks because my boss doesn't see how much I'm worth and he's not paying me enough money.

Or you might look at the government and say, the government's not giving me the proper tax breaks that I need in my societal class and it's making it really hard for me.

And the tricky thing is that a lot of the time, these are valid complaints.

There's a certain amount of logic to them, but the default shouldn't be to place all of the blame and place all of the responsibility for changing the outcome of your life onto these external forces, otherwise we will just be imprisoned by them for our entire lives.

Our default should be to look at the cards that we are given and take full responsibility for how we play those cards.

I feel like having this internal locus of control, it's extremely important in today's day and age because obviously in 2020, we were just hit with a global pandemic and so much of that felt so far out of our control that it was very tempting.

I know for me personally, it was to develop a feeling of helplessness almost.

That childlike helplessness started to blossom again.

And I felt like I had to put my entire life on hold, put all my habits on hold until this whole pandemic blew over.

Sometime halfway through, I realized that I can work within this system.

There are things that I can do to improve my life, despite the crappy situation.

And it is my sole responsibility to figure out how to thrive within the environment that I've been placed.

It's nobody's responsibility to come be your knight in shining armor and fight the dragons in your life.

And I don't want this to come across like I'm scolding you like the father you never had.

Once you start adopting more of an internal locus of control, it'll start to feel a lot less like life is happening to you, but it'll start to feel a lot more like life is happening due to you.

And that's a very empowering belief to have.

In fact, I would say it's a prerequisite to making any sort of substantial change in your life.

Your positive actions to work your way out of a bad situation do have an impact.

Because not only do you have the power to change your life, You're the only 1 who does.

Probably not the best use of my money, but I couldn't resist.

Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, it's really hard to find in-person classes right now.

Thankfully, Skillshare is kind of the next best thing.

And Charles Cornell, a YouTuber that you guys might know, has an amazing improvisational piano class on Skillshare.

So I'm diving headfirst into that and I'm learning a lot of new things and I get to use that piano and it's just a win-win.

For those of you who don't know, Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes covering dozens of topics.

Everything from music lessons to photography and videography to the culinary arts and productivity.

No matter what you're into or what you want to learn, Skillshare probably has a class for it and chances are it's also very practical because all the classes on Skillshare are designed for real life.

It's super easy to take whatever you're learning on Skillshare and apply it directly to your real life pursuits.

Not only is it such a useful tool, but it's also extremely affordable.

If you get the annual membership, it comes in at less than $10 a month.

And the first 1000 of you who click the link in the description below, will get a free trial of a Skillshare premium membership.

So in like less than 2 minutes, you can be diving into your first class on Skillshare, using the amazing offer down below, learn something new, explore your creativity, and as usual, have a great time.

Oh, hey, if you liked this video, make sure that you hit like, because when you hit like, the algorithm blesses me, and it shoves my very bald head, cause I just bicked it today, shoves my bald head into other people's homepages, helping them out.

If you're lurking here, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, consider subscribing and hitting the bell icon so that the next time I upload a new video, you get notified.

No, we don't need more notifications in our life, right?

You know, just like hit the bell icon if you really wanna get notified, but hell, get off the notification train.

Free yourself from this algorithmic living and don't hit the bell icon.

You know that's a bold move but I don't know I feel like the algorithm probably will still serve you the video.

Anyways I'm not going crazy, you're going crazy.

It's gonna be really, really quick within the next few days actually, and it's gonna feature a special guest that you guys already know.

Y'all know him, and he'll be in the video.


Speaker 0: I feel like everybody at some point in their life has met somebody who was truly inspiring. You know, they seem to have their life figured out. They are determined, they can carve out their own destiny, they create their own luck. And on the flip side, A lot of us have met people who seem to just bury themselves in a hole and are unable to get out of it. You know, they are unable to recognize the opportunities in front of them.

They harbor a lot of negativity towards life and they seem perpetually stuck, helpless against seemingly endless negative external forces. And I feel like a lot of people talk about these 2 types of people and try to distill 1 single belief or concept that separates the 2 of them. And if you just adopt this belief, then you'll be like the successful person and not like the unsuccessful person. But I feel like it's a little foolish to do so because everybody's life is so wildly different. You know, people had different upbringings, people have such different instilled beliefs about the world or religion or whatever, it's hard to just say that 1 single belief will change someone's life for the better for eternity and they'll never experience hardship again.

But I have noticed 1 trait that successful people seem to share more often than unsuccessful people and I can't help but think that there is a strong correlation between having that belief and having success in life. And that is that successful people tend to have an internal locus of control, and less successful people tend to have an external 1. So what is locus of control? Locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces, have control over the outcome of events in their lives. So you watching this right now either have an external locus of control or an internal locus of control.

And I think the severity of either of these extremes was formed through your childhood and your development and your transition into adulthood. Because children, very young children especially, have an external locus of control. External forces have control over the outcomes of events in their lives. When you're a kid, you're pretty much absolutely helpless, especially when you're a very young kid. You know, you can't really feed yourself or clothe yourself.

You're so dependent on a parental figure to provide you with all of your needs that you basically have no choice but to develop a very external locus of control. The situations of your life are entirely out of your control and you're entirely dependent on some sort of third party to provide you with what you need to survive. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like kids don't really have a choice in the matter. That is their world.

That's a factual and realistic belief to have as a kid. But hopefully you had a competent parental figure or leader as you were growing up that kind of taught you the ropes, how to cook, how to clean, how to make money, how to fend for yourself in the world. I've always thought that if a parent does their job right, they basically phase themselves out. Hopefully by the time you're an adult, you still want your parents around, but you don't need them around. You know, if they were to die, you'd be okay.

Like you could fend for yourself. You can figure stuff out. But unfortunately for a lot of us, we bring a lot of the helplessness of childhood into adulthood. We never shake the idea that we need to be provided for somehow. We remain dependent on some sort of external system to provide us with the necessary materials to survive and thrive.

And a lot of the time, this is really hard to spot. From an occupational standpoint, sometimes this can look like, you know, being unsatisfied with your job and you're working so hard, but getting paid so little. So you externalize this struggle onto your boss or your provider and you blame him for your life's problems. My life sucks because my boss doesn't see how much I'm worth and he's not paying me enough money. Or you might look at the government and say, the government's not giving me the proper tax breaks that I need in my societal class and it's making it really hard for me.

And the tricky thing is that a lot of the time, these are valid complaints. There's a certain amount of logic to them, but the default shouldn't be to place all of the blame and place all of the responsibility for changing the outcome of your life onto these external forces, otherwise we will just be imprisoned by them for our entire lives. Our default should be to look at the cards that we are given and take full responsibility for how we play those cards. I feel like having this internal locus of control, it's extremely important in today's day and age because obviously in 2020, we were just hit with a global pandemic and so much of that felt so far out of our control that it was very tempting. I know for me personally, it was to develop a feeling of helplessness almost.

That childlike helplessness started to blossom again. And I felt like I had to put my entire life on hold, put all my habits on hold until this whole pandemic blew over. Sometime halfway through, I realized that I can work within this system. There are things that I can do to improve my life, despite the crappy situation. And it is my sole responsibility to figure out how to thrive within the environment that I've been placed.

It's nobody's responsibility to come be your knight in shining armor and fight the dragons in your life. It's only your responsibility. And I don't want this to come across like I'm scolding you like the father you never had. No, I'm just kidding. But hopefully to empower you.

Once you start adopting more of an internal locus of control, it'll start to feel a lot less like life is happening to you, but it'll start to feel a lot more like life is happening due to you. And that's a very empowering belief to have. In fact, I would say it's a prerequisite to making any sort of substantial change in your life. Your positive actions to work your way out of a bad situation do have an impact. Your efforts are not in vain.

Because not only do you have the power to change your life, You're the only 1 who does.

Speaker 1: Get better at jazz improv. Probably not the best use of my money, but I couldn't resist. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, it's really hard to find in-person classes right now. Thankfully, Skillshare is kind of the next best thing. And Charles Cornell, a YouTuber that you guys might know, has an amazing improvisational piano class on Skillshare.

So I'm diving headfirst into that and I'm learning a lot of new things and I get to use that piano and it's just a win-win. For those of you who don't know, Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes covering dozens of topics. Everything from music lessons to photography and videography to the culinary arts and productivity. No matter what you're into or what you want to learn, Skillshare probably has a class for it and chances are it's also very practical because all the classes on Skillshare are designed for real life. It's super easy to take whatever you're learning on Skillshare and apply it directly to your real life pursuits.

Not only is it such a useful tool, but it's also extremely affordable. If you get the annual membership, it comes in at less than $10 a month. So it's kind of a no brainer. And the first 1000 of you who click the link in the description below, will get a free trial of a Skillshare premium membership. So in like less than 2 minutes, you can be diving into your first class on Skillshare, using the amazing offer down below, learn something new, explore your creativity, and as usual, have a great time.

Speaker 2: Oh, hey, if you liked this video, make sure that you hit like, because when you hit like, the algorithm blesses me, and it shoves my very bald head, cause I just bicked it today, shoves my bald head into other people's homepages, helping them out. And it also helps me out. So it's kind of a win-win for everybody. If you're lurking here, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, and this is the thousandth time that you've seen my face, consider subscribing and hitting the bell icon so that the next time I upload a new video, you get notified. Actually, you know what?

No, we don't need more notifications in our life, right? You know, just like hit the bell icon if you really wanna get notified, but hell, get off the notification train. Free yourself from this algorithmic living and don't hit the bell icon. If you've hit the bell icon, unhit it. You know that's a bold move but I don't know I feel like the algorithm probably will still serve you the video.

Anyways I'm not going crazy, you're going crazy. Catch you in the next video. It's gonna be really, really quick within the next few days actually, and it's gonna feature a special guest that you guys already know. Y'all know him, and he'll be in the video. So, see ya!

See all Better Ideas transcripts on Youtube

The mindset that's changing my life