Joe Pera makes an honest attempt to talk you to sleep using mild jokes and low-key stories but for 10 hours.

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Joe Pera Talks You To Sleep For 10 Hours | Joe Pera Talks With You | adult swim
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and I'm sorry you're having trouble dozing off.

Because in my opinion, falling asleep is 1 of the best feelings there is.

Even better than harmonizing with your boys.

Anyhow, I figured we could maybe explore some mildly interesting subjects, such as...

How come people don't cheer after every firework?

Or perhaps do a guided meditation to help visualize yourself as a grandparent?

well, Anything that will help relax you into sleep and keep your mind off of the day-to-day worries that make you anxious, like remembering to refill the ice cube trays and race relations.

For example, I was thinking about this while shoveling earlier.

When Stephen Hawking cheated on his wife, she must have felt pretty sad.

I tried thinking about it from his perspective for a moment.

He spends all day thinking about the universe and how big it is.

How Our star, the sun, is just 1 of dozens of stars in the galaxy,

which is just 1 of dozens of galaxies in the known universe, all set against handfuls and handfuls of time.

Thinking further down the same line of thought, however, if we're so tiny and insignificant, if you're able to find 1 person in the entire universe who cares about you, why would you want to disappoint them?

So, ladies, if we get married, I promise I won't cheat on you.

That said, good luck locking down this bangle tiger.

the phrase, tying the knot, is a reference to how they used to use pretzels in Swiss wedding ceremonies a while ago.

Here's some images of pretzels being made that I like to watch.

a lot of pretzel factories in central Pennsylvania.

That's why it's often referred to as the snack belt.

Amongst a few counties, there's Otz's pretzels and chips, Herr's pretzels and chips, and

Another important contribution the Pennsylvania Dutch made to the region are their beautiful barns.

This round barn, called a spring house, was designed to keep milk cool in the summer.

These aren't barns from central Pennsylvania, but barns from central New York.

I owe it to myself and to my choir students to not be upset about Barnes.

is listening to voicemails I receive from friends and family.

I've got a few here I'd like to show you.

It's 20 minutes after 9 on Halloween evening.

So I still haven't heard yet, but I'm feeling the flake coming on.

It was nice going out with you again last night, but I've got to be straightforward.

that I could run home after she gave me a good night kiss.

in bed the rest of the night with my eyes like this.

Anyhow, after I received that message, I did the same thing I usually do when stuff like that happens.

It's tough to worry about women when you're focused on fastballs.

Can I share my secrets about the batting cages with you?

You let the first pitch hit you so that your adrenaline kicks in, then you hit

And once you're done, I promise you'll feel better, understanding that sometimes things just don't work out.

Like how it didn't work out for the 1990 to 1993 Buffalo Bills who lost 4 Super Bowls in a row, or

how it didn't work out for the Buffalo Buffaloes, or the Passenger Pigeon either, or the Tacopa Pupfish, Pyrenean Ibex, or Kodak.

It didn't work out for this omelet that went cold during an argument,

It did work out for my neighbor's son, Alan.

But it didn't work out for the Central New York barn, surrounded by condos when it used to be surrounded by corns.

For Robert Adams, he realized 18 years too late that he should

have spent more time with his sons instead of going to 3D movies with his friends.

And Allison Webb, dressed so nice, waits basketball but spent a whole night watching it alone at

As we know, it didn't work out for Burnley Madoff.

I wonder what he's thinking about right now.

I wonder if he knows we're thinking about him.

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Joe Pera Talks You To Sleep For 10 Hours | Joe Pera Talks With You | adult swim