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# Life as P: Embrace Your Journey

## Hello, Beautiful Souls!

Welcome to another edition of "Life as P," your go-to newsletter for inspiration, motivation, and all things related to living your best life. I'm your host, Phoenix Ash, and whether you're a first-time reader or a loyal follower, I'm thrilled to have you here. Let’s dive into this week's insights and updates.

## A Journey of Self-Discovery and Spirituality

Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and sometimes, the universe has a way of guiding us through it all. I've always believed in listening to the universe and paying attention to the signs it gives us. This practice has brought immense joy and ease into my life.

### Trusting the Universe

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was filled with fear and anxiety, especially after experiencing multiple pregnancy losses. A voice reassured me that my baby would be fine, and indeed, she was born healthy and on her own time. This experience taught me to trust the universe and its timing.

### Embracing Participation

Lately, I've been reflecting on my career, my books, and my personal life. The universe gave me a clear message: **participate**. It's easy to wish for success, but are we actively participating in our journey to achieve it?

* Are you creating content?
* Are you engaging with your audience?
* Are you putting in the work to reach your goals?

## The Importance of Being Present

Being present is crucial, not just for others but for yourself. It's about showing up for you, understanding your needs, and prioritizing your well-being.

### Be Present for Yourself

I used to overlook myself while trying to be present for everyone else. But I've realized that to truly support others, I need to be at the top of my own list. Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary.

* Spend time with your thoughts.
* Reflect on your feelings.
* Prioritize your mental and physical health.

### Joy and Participation

Joy loves company, just like misery does. When you invest in your own happiness, it naturally extends to those around you. Participate in your journey, and let your joy be contagious.

## Updates and Announcements

### Books and More

I'm excited to share that all my books are available on Amazon. Whether you prefer paperbacks or Kindle versions, there's something for everyone. My first novel, "In Her Makeup," is also available on Audible.

* **Books Available on Amazon**: 5-6 titles
* **Kindle Versions**: All books available on Kindle Unlimited
* **Audible**: "In Her Makeup" and the podcast

### Stay Connected

Your support means the world to me. If you enjoy the podcast, please let me know your thoughts, especially if you're an Audible listener. Your feedback helps me improve and bring you the best content possible.

## Final Thoughts

Remember, being present and participating in your journey is essential. Show up for yourself, invest in your joy, and watch how it transforms your life and the lives of those around you.

Until next time, take care of yourself and keep shining.

With love,
Phoenix Ash

---

### Connect with Me

* [Amazon Author Page](https://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Ash/e/B00I8Q6G0W)
* [Podcast on Audible](https://www.audible.com/pd/Life-as-P-Podcast/B08JJN8H8G)
* [Follow on Twitter](https://twitter.com/PhoenixAsh)
* [Follow on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/PhoenixAsh)

---

*P.S. If you enjoyed this newsletter, share it with your friends and family. Let's spread the love and positivity!*
```

This newsletter captures the essence of the transcript, providing an easy-to-read format with titles, subheadings, and bullet points for better readability. It emphasizes the importance of self-care, participation, and being present in one's journey.

"Embrace Your Journey: Trust, Participate, and Thrive 🌟"

- Phoenix Ash, host of "Life is P," welcomes new and returning listeners.
- She shares her journey of spiritual growth and paying attention to divine signs.
- Discusses her past struggles with pregnancy and the birth of her daughter.
- Reflects on her achievements in motherhood, career, and personal growth.
- Emphasizes the importance of participation in achieving goals.
- Acknowledges her inconsistency in writing and creating content.
- Encourages active engagement in one's journey to manifest desired outcomes.

- Speaker reflects on the need to hustle and build genuine connections.
- Emphasizes the importance of being present in various roles (friend, mom, partner, worker).
- Realizes the necessity of sometimes being present for oneself.
- Discusses the challenge of prioritizing oneself on the list of people to be present for.
- Notes the impact of not prioritizing oneself on personal joy and effectiveness.
- Shares personal experiences of being on the list during major life changes.
- Highlights the importance of self-care in everyday details, not just major events.
- Addresses the difficulty of shifting from a selfless mindset to one that includes self-care.

- Joy is contagious and should be shared.
- Show up in others' lives because you want to, not out of obligation.
- Prioritize yourself and your well-being.
- Take your time in relationships to understand and be understood.
- Be unapologetically present for yourself, even if it means stepping back from others.
- Balance personal needs with external expectations.
- Reflect on your feelings and desires regularly.
- Aim for joy in all your efforts.
- Recognize and share your blessings.
- Author Phoenix Ash encourages participation in her work available on Amazon and Audible.
- Emphasizes the importance of being present and participating in your own blessings.

CONCISE SUMMARY:
- Host Phoenix Ash discusses spiritual growth and divine signs.
- Shares struggles with pregnancy and motherhood achievements.
- Stresses active engagement and participation in goals.
- Reflects on inconsistency in content creation.
- Highlights the importance of being present in various roles.
- Emphasizes self-care and prioritizing oneself.
- Notes the impact of self-prioritization on joy and effectiveness.
- Encourages genuine connections and joy sharing.
- Advocates for balanced personal needs and external expectations.
- Promotes reflection on feelings and desires.
- Encourages participation in her work on Amazon and Audible.

You know Beyonce is my friend in my head.

You know when I was a kid, I had an imaginary enemy?

Or Should I say what up, what up, what up?

Welcome to Life is P, I'm your host, Phoenix Ash.

If this is your first time joining me, welcome.

If you're a repeat listener, thank you for rocking with me constantly.

I'm actually working on a little something for you guys, but I don't wanna talk about it because I don't wanna speak on it.

I've not been consistent in so long and I've actually consistently worked on this thing for the past couple of days.

Does nothing, well, I can't say it has nothing to do with what I wanna talk about today, because actually it does.

So for those of you who listen to the show, you know I can be very spiritual.

I kind of try to read the universe and kind of go with its flow.

And doing so has made my life incredibly easier, more joyous.

I feel like more things are working in my favor.

I'm paying attention to the things that are bending towards my will and the things that I need to bend towards its will or God's will.

And just that combination has worked for me.

I'm just sharing what has been working for me.

And so like people like, oh my gosh, she's hearing voices.

Listen, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was so nervous and so afraid that I was not going to make it through the pregnancy or that the baby wasn't going to make it through the pregnancy.

Previous, you know, if you know my story, you know, previous to her, I had lost 7 children And I was like the furthest I had ever been in pregnancy.

And a voice had said to me, she's gonna be born when she's gonna be born and she's gonna be fine.

And I too was like, oh God, I'm hearing voices.

I'm crazy, like my grandmother before me and so forth.

But, you know, time is our greatest profit.

She was born healthy and she was definitely born on her own time.

I didn't even realize how specific that prophecy was because child, she was born on her.

I had a saclage, and for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a stitch to sort of stitch up your womb a bit to try to keep the pregnancy in there.

And when they removed the stitch, they were like, prepare to go right into labor, because gravity is going to do its thing, whatever.

I was 4 centimeters right there in the doctor's office.

And then I was 4 centimeters for like 2 weeks.

I was walking around force enemies like, and they finally scheduled me to be induced.

And the baby came the day before I was supposed to be induced.

So literally on her own time, born in her sack, all of that didn't have epidural, all of that anyway.

So I've learned to pay attention when God or the universe or just, I don't know, maybe my soul is just knowing, I don't know what it is, but I'm grateful for it.

So thinking about the books and thinking about my life and thinking about my love life and my career and being a mom and I'm thinking about all the things that kind of came together for me.

You know, I think motherhood was probably the first major thing that came together for me.

Somebody might say, you know, graduating with my master's, but like, honestly, that was a decision I followed through.

It wasn't Even though I had a pregnancy loss when I first started, which delayed me an additional semester, but I kind of knew that I was going to get that.

But the things that I kind of like was trusting to fate, you know, having a child, becoming a mom, falling in love, having the career of my dreams, you know, the whole I want it all, being able to buy another house after divorce, all the things that are kind of like, I'm not sure if I'll be able to, being able to sustain myself after divorce, living off of 1 income for both me and my daughter, or me being the sole provider.

I don't think I've ever lived off of just 1 income because I truly believe in diversifying your income.

Get it from more than 1 place because I hate feeling like my destiny is tied up in 1 person's pocket.

But all the things that were in question for me, Even my mental health, my spiritual health, my physical health, all the things that I feel like have gotten better, have gotten to a place that I wasn't sure I would get to a place of.

I'm talking to God about the things that I want in my career and what I want for my books and so forth.

Because if you've listened to the show, you know that I'm back and forth with the writing slump.

And, you know, for whatever reason, it's just paused.

And I've been like, you know, maybe this is just my time to live.

However, I also feel the shift getting back into, OK, now it's time to get to work.

You have all these things you've become this person that you wanted to become.

You have accomplished these things that you want to accomplish.

You did need a break in books because you had a shift in perspective.

And so some of these books are going to be difficult to execute because this is not who you are.

So you have to, you can write the books, but you're going to have to write them from a different perspective or just understand that you're in a new season of publishing.

And so I think if you look at my work as a whole, you may see a different caliber, just the different, I don't know, maybe a different audience being catered to, But I don't know, I don't know.

We'll see what I produce and who picks up on it.

And it was like, you want these things for your career.

You want to be able to publish these books.

You want this, but you're not participating.

Sure, sure, you're on Twitter all the time.

Okay, what are you doing with your TikTok?

I've done a couple of videos lately because of the conviction.

Like you want all these things for your life, but are you participating in your journey of getting there?

Or are you just kind of sitting back and just saying, I want, I want, I want.

But like what you doing when they get there?

You know, we want for those of us who are spiritual is like, you want God to bless it, but what he blessing?

But if you do none, you can multiply it by 100 and it's still 0.

So what is it that you want to be blessed?

You want to grow a seed, you want to grow something.

So you have to put the seed in, but you got to put it in there.

You got to plant it, you got to start it, you got to cultivate it, you got to put some water to it, you got to face it in some sun, You got to whatever is called for, but you participate.

Participate in your destiny, participate in your journey.

You want to get all the lessons and all the good feels and the joy and the sense of accomplishment, but accomplish means that you did something, right?

You did something, so you've got to participate.

And that's been my conviction for the past week or so is that you got to participate.

And it's scary because sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.

And then, right, the other fear for me is that I've been getting some engagement with the videos and the marketing.

I've been doing the stuff that's easier for me, right?

Like, okay, fine, I can record my voice because I record my voice doing the podcast every week, right?

I can, you know, conversation is my thing, right?

So I can reach out, I can engage, but I'm not producing content.

For some, you know, it's a small catalog.

I have what, 566 or 7 books, you know, and readers nowadays, people who are true readers are getting through that like, okay, now what's next?

And I'm like, I have nothing to offer you.

I want to do all these things or whatever, but you know, I'm not talking to movie people.

Let me not use that as an excuse, because there's people from Brooklyn who hustle.

And sometimes I feel like I'm not hustling enough because I'm old school Brooklyn and I'm like, I don't want to be begging nobody for nothing.

And I don't want to reach out to anybody who my sole purpose for reaching out to you and talking to you is because I think you can help me.

Like, I want to figure out what can I offer you?

Like, I want to build genuine connections, which takes time.

And I'm still working on how to seek those and to seek it from the right people.

So that has been the biggest conviction over the past week, but also being present.

So I was talking to a coworker and we were talking about, like, our list of things that we have to do.

And I was like, you know, talking about the last show, right, been so overwhelmed and I have to find ways to declutter my mind and to organize myself so that I am not as overwhelmed, not multitasking every single thing because multitasking overwhelms my mind sometimes.

And so when I'm listing all the things that I have to do, part of my list was, you know, be a present friend, be a present mom, be a present partner, be a present worker, be like, just be present.

And actually this morning, it came to me that sometimes I can't be present.

Accepting that sometimes I cannot be present.

You know, yes, I do need to engage on social media.

Yes, I do need to do X, Y, and Z to sell my books.

However, not every second of the day can I be present to engage with people outside of myself?

Sometimes I have to be present with me for me.

It is with the same mindset where people say, sometimes you gotta meditate, sometimes you gotta spend time with God, sometimes you gotta sit in silence, sometimes you gotta set time aside to work on the things that you want to work on, prioritize yourself.

All of that, all of that, all of that, all that.

I just have to break it down in ways that my body and my mind will accept.

And what I see in my life is the parts that I struggle with, I have to put into words and then use that same language to build my solution.

We see the question, and the first way that we learn to answer the question is to repeat part of the question in the answer.

Look at these skills that we learned as children helping us as adults.

But, so the language for me is that I have to be present.

And the answer for me is not all the time, not outside of you.

Yes, you have to be present, but Are you on the list of people you need to be present for?

That is how I need to talk to myself because I was not on the list of who I needed to be present for.

And that is why I constantly kept missing me.

I overlooked myself in terms of who I was being present for.

Can you imagine overlooking yourself as much as we yell and scream and don't want to be overlooked by others?

Speaking of which overwhelming, I did want to say on the last show I think I talked about I needed to make an eye exam and I did that.

Not only did I make the appointment for the eye exam, I went ahead the eye exam and yes, I need new glasses, I need bifocals, but okay, I just wanted y'all to know that I'm not just talking a hole in your head that I'm actually really trying, I really am.

But now I need to try and be present for myself.

And I think that if you struggle the way I struggle with getting things executed, that part of the way that you can alleviate that is to put yourself on the list of priorities when it comes to who you need to be present for.

And honestly, I don't know if this is a woman thing, a black woman thing, I don't know, but the struggle is putting me at the top.

Even as I write the list of all the people that I need to be present for, I'm at the bottom.

Because when I come last in someone else's life, it's not fun.

When I'm at work and I'm at the bottom of the totem pole, I'm disregarded, easily forgotten about.

That's true when you're on the bottom of your own list.

I mean, granted I wasn't on my list at all, so it's an improvement that I've made myself on the list, but I have to do better than that.

I have to get me to the top of that list because I am the top of the pyramid.

And when the top of the pyramid is overfilled with joy, it spills out into everyone else who's part of that pyramid.

And so when I'm being present for other people, it's possible that I'm showing up as someone who doesn't really wanna be here.

It's possible that I am being perceived as someone who is only here out of duty and obligation.

That's scary to me because I don't want the people in my life to feel like that.

I love them way too much, way too much for them to misconstrue why I'm here.

My love obligates me to be here because I want to see you win.

I want to see you get all the things out of life that you could ever dream of.

And I want you to live this wonderful, happy, joyous, best life.

I've been saying for years that I want that for myself.

And yet, And yet, I am not on the list of people that I feel obligated to be present for.

There came a time that I was on my list, right, when I was trying to free myself from a toxic marriage.

I was on my list when I was like, you know what, I need a new environment.

like, you know what, I need a new environment,

I was on my list when I had to make sure that I was healthy in order for my pregnancy to be healthy.

I was on my list when I needed to be the example that my daughter would see in terms of a healthy woman.

But then somehow, I dropped off the list.

I was being an example of a healthy woman because my daughter needed to see that.

That was for me before her, because that's just how I think.

Well, I don't wanna ask who doesn't because it's crazy people, but, but I was on the list and then I dropped off.

And I think that sometimes We put ourselves on the list when we need to do major changes, when we like, I need to either get married or get divorced or find love or get out of this kind of love, or relocate like these big things, Right?

We get on the list for the big things, but the details is where life happens.

The details is what make those big things stick.

The details is what makes those big things worth it.

That we can say, oh, I made the right decision because then the details follow up behind it, right?

So I need to take care of me in the details.

And my details are my list of things that I need to do and my list of people that I have told myself that I want to be present for.

And it's only now being reminded that I want to be present for me.

I think some of us who grew up in households where we were constantly told to be humble, constantly told that a true good person is a person who is selfless, someone who does any and everything for other people.

Not that we don't want to do for other people, but, you know, as time goes on, we find that if we invest in our own health and happiness, that doing for other people becomes easier.

And becomes less of a burden and more natural.

Joyous people just, you know how they say misery loves company.

And so Joy will find a reason to insert some Joy into other people's lives so that you could be happy too.

So I want to be in the company of Joy and I don't want to show up in other people's lives as someone who is here only because I feel like I have to be.

I want to show up as someone who wants to be here.

But I need to show up for that as me, for me.

So I have to move myself to the top of the list.

It's going to take some time, it's going to take some work.

It took time and work when it was the big thing.

So now we're in the details and it's going to take some time, it's going to work.

But There's a lot of like, do this, be this, and only be this sometimes, and be this way sometimes.

And the question I always have, like, how do you know when?

Like, when people say, date people who like you.

And then of course, like everything is not blanket.

So you have to learn your own details and learn, which is why, you know, relationships, if done properly, that's why so many people say, take your time so that you can tell.

That if you're trying to rush to make a decision, it is hard to tell.

So you want to take your time or I want to take my time, right?

But I don't want other people to find it hard to tell who I am for them, if I'm in their corner, if I'm supportive, if I love them, if I care for them.

And sometimes other people's voices become my own.

And you know, I can take on a perspective, you know, there's been a couple people in my life who've like, you're so hard, you're so cut and dry.

I feel like I give a lot of room, a lot of rope, so to speak.

And then when I make a decision that you will not be in my life anymore, it's because from my experience, it may not be for what people see on the outside because Maybe I haven't shared it or maybe I haven't said anything.

But for me, I'm like, you know, I've been in this too long.

So I'm going to cut it here because this is taking up too much room and taking up the room that supposed to be joy inside of it.

So my openness can't step back up so joy could come on it.

And sometimes, you know, I give a lot of room and a lot of grace and a lot of mental space because that's someone else's voice saying like, oh, you're being too hard or you're being too strict or you know, that's unreasonable or whatever.

So I'm still trying to find my footing with that, honestly.

But what I do know is that I need to be present for me and I need to be unapologetic about it.

And sometimes that's gonna mean that I'm not present for you.

I don't think that'll ever mean that I'm not present for my baby, but whatever.

That may mean that I'm quiet on social media for a second.

That may mean that I sit in a corner at work, like during times when nothing's going on, that I might sit in a corner and I might work on something for me.

And I can't, like, be embarrassed, like, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

You don't have to know I'm working for me.

And if you, you know, I'm at the age now where I'm like, well, if this shit don't work for you, let me know and I'll go find a situation at work.

But like, I'm not too worried about some stuff.

I want to be the best me and stuff like that.

But like, you know, If you don't see that, I'm okay.

I'll go somewhere where I'm being celebrated, not tolerated.

But seriously, are you showing up for you?

What's all the things that you feel like, no, I need to do this, I need to do this, I need to do this.

And when I say are you on the list, I don't mean like, are you going to get your hair done?

Are you going to go buy yourself some new clothes?

Or Are you going to do something for the house?

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Are You Present? - Life as P