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Speaker 1

00:00

Dear listeners, welcome back to another episode of Scoops. I'm your host Melody and I'm your host Sienna And today we're delving into the topic and specifically question of is it wrong for girls who want to be housewives in today's world?

Speaker 2

00:13

This is kind of a controversial topic so I thought we would start on a more casual note introducing shows that we've seen in the past that kind of portray this question well in terms of the perspective that it brings right?

Speaker 1

00:24

I wanted to bring up Gilmore Girls there's this 1 episode it's on Netflix by the way if you guys want to watch it. It's called the Damn Donna Reed and Rory if you don't know is the main character and her boyfriend Dean. They're kind of like arguing and arguing in this scene about this show that they watched and in 1 of those episodes it showed a housewife making like a 10 course meal every day and her family's like as soon as her family got home she had like it prepared on the table you know and like Dean was kind of like oh you know he was like fantasizing about this and he's like he really liked this concept of coming home to home every day with his wife, you know?

Speaker 1

01:06

And then he also like brought up that his mom does that and Rory is like taking this to offense. And she says, she makes the argument, which I, you know, I absolutely agree with is that the difference between these 2 people, like Dean's mom and Donna Reed, was that Dean's mom actually had the choice to do all of this while Donna Reed didn't.

Speaker 2

01:27

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1

01:27

It was expected of Donna Reed in society that she would prepare all of this.

Speaker 2

01:33

And expected by her family.

Speaker 1

01:34

Exactly. Yeah. Or else she would like be a bad mom or something.

Speaker 2

01:37

Yeah and they would be like well you don't have any other job so what else can you do? What are you gonna do?

Speaker 1

01:41

There's no use for a woman. Why can't

Speaker 2

01:43

you just cook the meal? The argument about housewives is so, it differs among people and people can say that really all they have to do is just sit home and then like oh if the baby's crying then go tell it to stop crying blah blah blah and that's all their lives like oh I want to be a housewife so easy but what we are also feeding into is the stereotype, right? That housewives don't do anything, but when you realize that in every field and every interest, there is a degree of sacrifice and contribution.

Speaker 1

02:15

I agree. I think like society kind of downplays the role of housewives and it downplays the commitment and the level of sacrifice that these women have to make to become housewives. Like some of them actually have a career.

Speaker 1

02:30

They actually have a job or like they had to turn down jobs for their family so that they could take care of them.

Speaker 2

02:37

And now we're just not representing all women but we're saying that there is and there exists people who have sacrificed a lot to just you know care for their family and really dedicate their whole life to their family. But because of that argument of how housewives don't do much, that diminishes their contributions and their sacrifices. And so why might it be offensive that girls want to be housewives in today's world?

Speaker 2

03:04

And I said is it the long history of patriarchal societies? So let's like kind of slowly gradually talk about history in that sense.

Speaker 1

03:12

So we've been taking a push. Right.

Speaker 2

03:17

We love a push. It's just a lot of work. Let's like go back to like right when the colonies were just about to be established.

Speaker 2

03:27

So at the time you know like the Puritan colony and I just remember this so vividly like when they were kind of establishing their society their new lifestyle They set out a lot of rules between marriages and kind of women and men.

Speaker 1

03:43

I remember this

Speaker 2

03:44

and so for men they were considered leaders and just people that had more decision powers. And for women, actually the textbook straight on said women were considered the shadows of their husbands. And it said that as women, after their children are born, they don't have guardianship with their children.

Speaker 2

04:05

And for the working wages, like the jobs that they do and the money they receive from it they're not allowed to control that so for the most part like a lot of the times their husbands just control their wages and like take up their home money and say oh I'm only gonna give you this much and that much and at the same time I'm pretty sure they also did not have property rights. So even of course not. Oh, yeah Yeah, so they couldn't even like have like just 1 tiny bit of land or whatever like they were not considered eligible for land. Yeah I

Speaker 1

04:38

feel like at that point it's like they don't even have control over their lives. Yeah. Their children, their house, and like this the money that they gained from working so hard.

Speaker 2

04:49

And over time, we also saw that they had an average of 8 kids. Oh my goodness, Stuart. And I was like, they have no guardianship over any of those babies.

Speaker 2

05:02

That is so, so sad. But yeah, that's the reality. So we're just kind of like covering the general scope I'm sure it was even worse like men had to do labor labor work outside and women had to do domestic labor that was kind of like yeah and that was kind of how they were appointed with their jobs so like it was really more seen like a partnership type of thing

Speaker 1

05:27

yeah

Speaker 2

05:27

yeah I mean that is just so so sad

Speaker 1

05:30

yeah and like marriages at that time were kind of like they were done in a way that just to solve a problem and not to like

Speaker 2

05:39

They had that motive to quickly kind of build up a new society and the new land So, you know in the same way they had to do just any means to build a family, they had to generate more generations generate more generations So I think that's like 1 of the biggest things as to what how women can feel so offended when others just say oh I want to be a housewife it's like we fought this hard and long this many blood sweat and tears and look that was like in the 1600s okay over like 300 years past the rules that were changing for women were still so so limited.

Speaker 1

06:21

Yeah and then like even in the Declaration of Independence they were you know all men men were created equal and men in that context would just mean white men who create who owned property.

Speaker 2

06:36

Yeah.

Speaker 1

06:37

So come on founding fathers.

Speaker 2

06:39

Right, and kind of connecting that point, it's like okay for all that history And now for you to say I wish I can just do nothing and just clean the house

Speaker 1

06:52

Take your

Speaker 2

06:52

dishes and things they're like that is offensive and that is naive of you But today I feel like we can kind of bring a different aspect in terms of hey maybe being a housewife does come out to be quite important as well. And so I was gonna say like if wanting to be a housewife directly diminishes and discredits the years of work women have collectively fought for, for more place and equality in society, then how can we understand housewives in a better context? And so there's this pattern that I feel is very, very much obvious in this society, where contributions and outcomes that cannot be measured by numerical values, by numbers, are way, way, way less considered important in society, right?

Speaker 2

07:41

Just because their contributions and outcomes can't be measured

Speaker 1

07:44

by numbers. It's like not on record.

Speaker 2

07:46

Yeah and it's like bring money to the table what do you bring? Yeah. That is that I've been seeing that all over social media and whenever I see that I'm just like cringing.

Speaker 2

07:57

I'm like okay yes it's understandable that because cash is more obvious there's numbers to it there's value to it that's like depicted by the whole entire globe but that literally does not mean that others are then less valued yeah How can we kind of highlight that there are things that women do, whether they be a housewife or just career driven women, that they do bring things that are more valuable than people deem it to be.

Speaker 1

08:31

Yeah. They sacrifice so much to just nurturing their house and their household and their children and supporting their husbands.

Speaker 2

08:41

Yeah and I don't think people understand this but in building a family you need a sense of stability right? You need like familial values and maturity and so for all those things to come into reality, it's a two-way street and so for example like women are able to get pregnant and so that topic though I feel like people just see it as like oh so we'll get married and then we'll have a kid and then that's it like I've literally heard a guy the other day saying like oh so you know in my life I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna get married real quick so I think like 26 I'm gonna get married 27 I'm gonna have a kid

Speaker 1

09:26

and then I was like dude it's not your choice

Speaker 2

09:29

like dude even if your wife is you know happy to give you a child she's the 1 having her kid

Speaker 1

09:37

yeah and it's not you yeah I feel like I

Speaker 2

09:44

feel like in society people just like have over time forgotten how much of a sacrifice and how weighing having a baby in you is. Postpartum depression is real. Oh my gosh I was just about to say that we're not saying like, oh women weight higher than men But we're talking about the fact that like and just the most like most necessities that women bring to the table Those are considered way less important.

Speaker 2

10:15

Yeah, right. So there

Speaker 1

10:16

needs to be

Speaker 2

10:16

a balance and oh my gosh yeah elaborate on postpartum depression like hello

Speaker 1

10:21

it affects your body your mind your emotions oh my gosh your hormones I mean obviously I haven't you know personally we're not we're not there yet in life but you know we have mothers

Speaker 2

10:35

yeah and like oh my gosh the way you almost have no control over your body during that period of 10 months Like that is practically a year you lose like a whole year of your life okay to like just sudden changes in your body that you cannot control like

Speaker 1

10:53

then yeah afterwards when you when you after you give birth then your body is still like I'm processing those changes in your body after like after you give birth will forever be affected by that.

Speaker 2

11:06

Yes and also like even like right now when like we get bloated and we feel swollen like our body's like looking a little swollen we like get so self-conscious and we're like oh my gosh what's wrong? Am I eating too much salt? Is it sodium in my body?

Speaker 2

11:22

Do I need to drink more water? Like even those miniscule things make us go crazy and just be like oh my gosh I need to be more watchful. Think about a baby. The changes that your body has to go through is immensely immensely taxing.

Speaker 2

11:39

Emotionally taxing. And so I feel like that is what's wrong though. Like for people to just say it as such a normal like, yeah It's just like a hump like oh, let's just get over that hump get pregnant period. Okay, baby out.

Speaker 2

11:54

We're done. Yay 1 goal crossed off No, it's literally not that and the emotional fluctuations that you go through like sometimes you just feel more and you can't explain it and the people say oh What's wrong with you? Yeah, it seems

Speaker 1

12:09

like you're supposed to get over it.

Speaker 2

12:11

Yeah, like why can't you just be more stable? Like stop being a wimp and just get yourself together right and like stop projecting your own feelings onto others sometimes it really is uncontrollable and also I wanted to bring this up because this question of like being a mom and being pregnant and having to give birth is so big because I realized and this is not even funny just how many women lose their jobs because they're pregnant. It is not talked about enough.

Speaker 2

12:46

People and a lot of companies have regulations where they're like, oh, you can have my training leave blah blah blah and people think like, oh, it's good. It's set in place and set in stone. It's fine. If I get pregnant, I'll just have my training leave and I'll still have my job position.

Speaker 2

13:00

No, hashtag. No. What happens is a lot of companies kind of retract their word and say you know what we feel like you know being pregnant is such a heavy work and we don't want you to come to you know your job every day and be so like tired we want you to contribute so you know what let's lay you off for a while and if you want to have your job maybe you can apply again in a couple months after you've given birth but you know what we just think that it's better if somebody takes your place but like hello what does that mean?

Speaker 1

13:43

That happened in an episode of friends.

Speaker 2

13:45

Really? Yeah so Rachel

Speaker 1

13:48

is like she went on maternity leave and then the few days before she was like supposed to come back to work, she realizes that somebody else is probably going to take

Speaker 2

13:58

her place.

Speaker 1

13:59

And so she like, She tries everything to fight.

Speaker 2

14:01

It's like you lose your job because you got pregnant. Yeah, what's up with that? Yeah, we're saying like you need to respect the fact that 1 is pregnant But you also respect the fact that she's still human and she still have case has capabilities It doesn't mean that just because they're building a baby like hello literally Keeping a baby in love of you is a whole other job And then you're raising it.

Speaker 1

14:25

Yeah human in and then

Speaker 2

14:27

for them to lose out on all the other opportunities in life because they've gotten pregnant is so so sad and then for people to use that as an excuse to say oh let's lay you off that's even worse and then for people to say oh but getting pregnant is so easy you just don't do anything then you just stay at home and you just eat a lot and no it is so much more than that like there needs to be an equal balance and there just doesn't seem to

Speaker 1

14:55

be 1. So once again you know I think we think that being a housewife there's absolutely nothing being wrong with being a housewife because it's amazingly selfless but once people start stigmatizing women and labeling them as just as housewives that's when it becomes an issue.

Speaker 2

15:22

Yeah and circling back to that Donna Reed example it's like for Dean's mom I think she

Speaker 1

15:28

had a job right I'm not sure. It doesn't really say but I'm assuming that she did.

Speaker 2

15:33

Yeah, okay. So whether she has a job or not anyway, she had the decision and the choice to bring food to the table or say, hey, we want to go take out today. Let's go to a restaurant.

Speaker 2

15:43

Or let the dad make the food. Yeah, the family makes the food.

Speaker 1

15:47

Everyone makes the food.

Speaker 2

15:48

And you can go into the kitchen and make food. Like, there's a big difference between choice, right, and an obligation, but what I feel like is really happening with the labeling of housewives is, at first, people understand the sacrifice, and people see that there's a sense of capability needed.

Speaker 1

16:05

Yeah. It's for, sometimes it's just not for some people

Speaker 2

16:08

yeah and so okay if it's not for you then just just don't be mean about it but also like what I realized is when your job becomes a housewife it diminishes over time the value that it has It becomes more so like an expectation Than a contribution. It's over time. Yeah.

Speaker 2

16:28

Yeah, and like at first they're like, oh my god, mom thank you so much for cooking for us and they're like wait where's that where's them food you're staying home all day why can't you cook in time we're so hungry mom like what's wrong with you like you're just a housewife go find a job and then you have an excuse to not make food but like what's wrong with you you know and sometimes that provoking Tone can be so so degrading yeah, and the thing is being housewife is a sacrifice nonetheless and for people not to see that that is What we hope it's

Speaker 1

17:03

Yeah, Like other people will see the value of being a housewife.

Speaker 2

17:10

And for women to fight for equality.

Speaker 1

17:14

That's what they're also fighting for.

Speaker 2

17:15

Yeah. For the choice. For have that choice. They didn't have a choice back then, now they do.

Speaker 2

17:21

So for- why do I keep saying so for? I literally want to scream. But yeah, they didn't have a choice, now they do because they fought for it then why can't you respect everyone's choice

Speaker 1

17:36

that's what they fought for and it's not just fighting for intellectuals who want to pursue

Speaker 2

17:41

yes and just being intellectual does not mean that you're better than everybody else yes So I think that is kind of what we wanted to wrap around to wrap around wrap up with today. I feel like we could bring more details to this but obviously as we're just starting out on scoops or at scoops oh my gosh I can't talk because we're just starting out I thought we would go with more like kind of less long like we're not gonna go with 1 hour a lot of people so many people have asked me like why is your first episode just 8 minutes and I'm like do you want to

Speaker 1

18:22

watch an hour yeah do you

Speaker 2

18:23

want to what I mean we can and we will in the future but you know we want to start slow and light and we hope that today's topic was kind of thought-provoking and it's important to realize seriously like all jobs, all careers, all interests, all fields should be equal and respected and it's really important for us to stop labeling things because the more we label, the more we are diminishing.

Speaker 1

18:50

And it's changed since that stereotype that women should stay in the kitchen.

Speaker 2

18:55

So we should move forward.

Speaker 1

18:59

Yes. Be mature, move forward, and stop labeling people.

Speaker 2

19:05

Housewives, this topic is so so so hard to just really kind of grasp because it has so many different levels to it. There's so much history behind it. But the truth is like at this day society, 21st century, we need to ask everybody to be more respectful and be more equal when it comes to

Speaker 1

19:22

it's 2023 I think I can

Speaker 2

19:24

I think we've gone through enough to really be smart about the way we talk and about the way we look at things and the way we judge things because it's okay if we have hot takes if you have controversial ideas but the way you yeah the way you share them the way you talk about them is important too because we want to be able to understand everybody?

Speaker 1

19:49

You should have a filter in your mind. Yeah.

Speaker 2

19:54

You know? So, hope you guys enjoyed today's episode.

Speaker 1

19:57

Yes, and if you wanna go watch those shows, you should definitely

Speaker 2

20:01

go watch them. That is so true. We love those so much.

Speaker 2

20:04

It's so good. Alright, bye-bye! Wait, am I even recording? Okay, come on Siona!

Speaker 2

20:12

Bye-bye!