Rita Ora is a British singer and songwriter who first rose to prominence in 2012 with the number 1 single ‘Hot Right Now’, she released her first album, ‘Ora’ later that year. In 2015, Rita made her film debut in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, in the same year she was a coach on ‘The Voice UK’ and judge on ‘The X Factor’. In 2016, she was the host of ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and in 2018 she released her second album ‘Phoenix’. In 2020, she was a judge on ‘The Masked Singer UK’, and a year later in 2021, she became a coach on ‘The Voice Australia’. Rita’s third album ‘You & I’ is available now on all music streaming platforms.



In this conversation Rita and Steven discuss topics, such as:


 Her childhood and life before success
 How her parents helped her achieve her dreams
 How Rita has always felt as if she has to prove herself
 Why she is scared of losing everything she has worked for
  The methods she has used to tackle anxiety and panic attacks
  Why she doubts she will ever feel as if she has ‘made it’
  Being open and never denying who she truly is
  The sacrifices it has taken to reach the level she is at
  How her marriage has changed her life
  Her new album and what has inspired it



You can listen to Rita’s new album, ‘You & I’, here: https://bit.ly/3XRlIbY



Follow Rita:

Instagram: https://bit.ly/3pNzDDu

Twitter: https://bit.ly/3DaODym

TikTok: https://bit.ly/3pOSA8J

YouTube: https://bit.ly/3pGohRL



Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb



My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' per order link: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook





Follow me: 

Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ

Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm

Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q

Telegram: http://bit.ly/3nJYxST





Sponsors: 

Zoe: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO10 for 10% off

Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb

I was living my dream, but then when I would wake up it'd be like silent and it wouldn't feel nice.

Everything I've done is about to disappear.

There was a sense of having to overwork to prove myself.

And that's exactly what you should be at that age.

I never thought Jay-Z would roll by with a brand new artist.

After my first album, everything shot to number 1.

You know, my life just changed overnight.

I was looking for things in the wrong places.

Eating really bad, I was drinking, and the media were all defiant.

And I was having the craziest panic attacks.

It feels like a weight that you've been carrying for a long, long time.

Yeah, I mean there's nothing that anyone could say when you feel broken that is going to put you back together.

Don't believe all the promises that people tell you.

What was the advice you needed but didn't get?

In life sometimes the external worlds will craft your narrative and your story and your identity for you.

And often we're told that saying less is more.

Now Rita, for much of her life, has followed that philosophy.

And what you learn from this conversation will be illuminating, it will be inspiring, it will make you understand Rita Ora, the person you've seen and heard about for a decade.

But maybe even more importantly, through this conversation, the twists, the turns, and the untold stories of a young woman who was signed to 18 by Jay-Z, crazy, crazy story, You're gonna learn something about yourself.

I am from Pristina, Kosovo, in a country called Kosovo.

I was born in 1990 and we refuged from the war in Kosovo and I've been living in London ever since.

Why did your parents choose to come here of all places?

I think it was just such an easy route as well.

It was close enough to home, but not close.

You know, it was also a lot of family and cousins that my parents already knew moved to London, so it was kind of the safest bet for them, I think.

And you were 1 and your siblings were older?

It was just me and my sister, so I was 1 and my sister was 3, she's 2 years older than me.

My brother wasn't born yet, he was born here.

And when you arrived here, I read that you were taken to a care home.

So when we first moved to London, not that I remember properly, obviously I was a kid, but my parents obviously asked favors from some existing friends that they already knew here.

It wasn't necessarily a care home, but it just wasn't our home.

My parents were really good at kind of still celebrating our birthdays and playing music.

And, you know, my upbringing was so happy.

You know, when you first came here, sometimes you hear these stories of, and I've sat here with a lot of people who have come here when they were very, very young.

I've got 1 particular friend who's been on this podcast before.

She came here when she was a baby as a refugee.

When she first arrived here, there was an early separation event because her parents essentially couldn't take care of her.

I've seen all kind of a lot of your interviews.

There's so many of them that I don't expect people to keep up.

And I was trying to understand at that early stage when I was reading about your story, if there was a separation event or if your parents had, cause I read the word care home somewhere.

Yeah, well, it wasn't really a separation, but it was a room given to us by the government, the council, and it was not a council estate house, it was just more of like a temporary home.

So maybe that's where you kind of got the phrase care home.

That's from what I remember was an Elscourt and then we actually moved to our council flat in West London.

And you've lived in West London most of your life?

I've been in West London my whole life, yeah.

What is it you inherited from your parents in terms of like character, for better or for worse?

And I say that because some of the things that I'm most proud of are things that my parents probably didn't intentionally give me.

They were things that weren't in the like, how to raise a child well manual.

No, I don't think my parents were doing that either.

I mean, you know, I think we're kind of in the same age bracket, but with my parents, you know, they were having kids at like 22, 23, 24.

You know, if I'm thinking, gosh, having a kid then now, that it would be crazy different.

But there was a lot that they taught me without knowing.

You know, for example, the language was always spoken in the house.

Now I'm not amazing at it, but I understand it and can read it and speak it.

That was a big thing in the house, like hard work, resilience, and sort of showing up and sticking by your word.

You know, like when you tell someone you're gonna do something, you better do it because otherwise that's like a big, it's just sort of a real disrespect if you're promising someone something and you don't deliver.

My dad actually studied economics and he was doing that, a lot of accounting stuff and they moved here and basically had to start again.

So my dad worked in a pizza spot in Notting Hill Gate and my mom didn't work and she started to learn the language and basically figure out how she was going to get her degrees and things.

And then she just had to restudy to get the qualifications.

Well, it was, it was a lot because, you know, I was going to school.

We were living in a council stay in Labrador Grove which is big up West London, I'll love it forever, but at the time she was like trying to qualify her English studies, studying psychiatry, and she was also battling breast cancer.

So there was 3 things, and she was also in her 30s, which is really rare.

She was like in her late thirties when she actually got breast cancer the first time.

And so there was a lot happening, you know, at once.

So yeah, that was my memory of that point.

At that young age, I think we start to kind of piece, figure out who we are and how we're different.

I think we start to develop suspicions that we're talented in this way or different in this way, or maybe we have a problem with authority in this way.

What did you, at that young age, did you start to figure out anything about yourself and who you are and why you were different or if you were different in certain ways?

Yeah, I mean, parent evening was always an interesting 1 because my parents at the time couldn't really speak English.

So my sister, bless her, even to this day, she was always the 1 that was like helping me with my homework or got to a certain age where she was kind of the 1 that was helping me with my maths homework because my mother couldn't really do it.

So it'd be like, oh, Elena, can you read that?

So it was interesting to see like now as adults, how much pressure my older sister actually had.

And It was kind of difficult, I would think, for her.

I don't want to speak for her, but I think it definitely felt like we were sort of running, you know, the ship while they were kind of trying to collect all the pieces and put food on the table, really.

So yeah, primary school had a lot of ups and downs.

And yeah, and then we did like Cinderella, and it was all these really fun night musicals.

And I would get, you know, I got the Cinderella role in like year 5.

And that's when I was like, oh, I could do this singing thing.

And that's when I think I really thought, oh, I think I want to be a singer.

And then I thought, well, I must be good since I got the main role of Cinderella.

Yeah, I did do school choirs, you know, I would go to the school choirs after school.

And I love this teacher, her name was Susie.

And she really worked me hard and she would really include me in all the choirs and they would do a lot of charity events and things like that and I would always take a solo and she actually called my parents and said you know I think you should really try and hone in on Rita's music talent because I think she's got something special.

How did your parents receive that phone call?

Well, my mom was really excited And so was my dad, but my dad was more practical.

You know, my parents are still, they were raised in Kosovo.

So it was get married, have babies, you know, and so my mum always was a dreamer, you know, she definitely still is.

And she was always like, sing for us at parties and this and that.

But I don't think either of them thought I would ever do a job in this actually, sort of do it for real.

When you use the word resilience a second ago, as 1 of the things that your parents taught you.

I'm assuming from that, that you mean that they, you observed them being resilient as well.

They still do, even though they're getting a bit older and they kind of feel like retirement is close.

I think deep down they don't ever want to stop working.

But they were so, so real in the sense of being completely open with money and work.

And my father's sort of doing double shifts sometimes.

And, you know, my mom, when she would get stressed, it would really impact us, me and my sister, you know, and we always used to sleep together because, I don't know, I guess I don't, didn't want to sleep alone.

So we would always kind of just hear them talking, you know, like mumbling away when we were younger.

But it was interesting because it was so nice to have my sister with me.

I don't know how I would have done that alone, you know.

What, coming to the UK and growing up here?

Just sort of doing that whole thing I explained to you alone.

You know, there are some friends I have that have no siblings that have the same sort of story as me that have done it alone.

And I'm just kind of like, I can only, I don't know.

It's nice when you don't feel, when you have someone else going through the same thing as you, you know?

Well, a lot of people as well don't have a situation where they watch their parents kind of like fighting to survive.

And that's in some respects quite a traumatic thing to observe, but it also means that there's a certain absence.

Like she was so obsessed with working that she would sleep in that shop, her little corner shop.

And it was like watching someone fight to survive.

I feel like I have a privilege where I'm thinking more about like happiness and fulfillment and all of these next level things.

But my mom was like food on table, you know, attitude.

I think that the hard work really does stem from me knowing that I'm, you know, not, my blood isn't English, but I feel English.

This is my home, you know, but there was a sense of having to overwork to prove myself.

I mean, I actually asked myself this the other day.

But I'm always like, I want more, I wanna do it again.

And it just, I don't think it will ever go away.

I don't think that feeling of me feeling satisfied will ever happen.

I love working, you know, I'm really lucky.

It's not like I wake up dreading what I do, but it's more like, yeah, you're right.

Like it doesn't, I just don't know if I will ever be like, I did it, you know, I'm always like, okay, so now what?

Is there sometimes when you have a child that came here as an immigrant or came here early and watched their, like watched the generation above them fight for survival, they almost inherit this fear of losing it all.

And that, I'm thinking about my friend here, the 1 I said that you remind me of, her story is very, very similar.

Came here as a refugee when she was young.

And I feel like, she called me the other day, in fact, and I'm sure she went, I'll have to ask her, I can share this, but she called me the other day and she said to me that because there was so much insecurity in her childhood in terms of like things didn't feel secure, her work is the only thing that gives her that sense of security as an adult, so she's fighting to maintain that.

It definitely is 1 of my reasons of purpose, for sure.

Which is a blessing but also a curse, because obviously if things don't always turn out how you want, it ends up crumbling more of you than you need it to.

So you kind of feel less than, rather than remembering everything else that you've done, because that 1 incident, for example, may have not gone how you wanted it to, everything's gone wrong.

And I think that's something that I've been really working on as well with my therapist.

It's almost sort of like compartmentalizing things.

But because my life is my work, it almost regulated my sense of happiness, which I think sometimes could be really damaging, especially if you kind of wake up not feeling good about yourself, or you sometimes wake up and you're kind of like, oh, I'm not feeling it today, which is I think what everyone goes through and I definitely go through it.

You know, I've really got to remember, you know, there are other points that bring me joy.

That's something I've been really working on, especially in my 30s.

And when you were, I think you were 15 years old, your mother, Vera?

And this, from reading through your story, was quite a pivotal, it seems to be quite a pivotal moment in your life, even still today, I think.

It was like, I don't know why I always say this, but I felt like my parents were like superheroes.

Like they were untouchable, undyable, you know?

And I was just almost like, nothing is gonna crack them.

And then when I sort of saw my mom starting to kind of get weaker and weaker and lose her hair.

I was thinking, oh my gosh, they can also die.

You know, and it was almost like, what am I gonna do?

And I took it upon myself to try and find a solution.

And obviously, you know, I couldn't, But you don't think that all the way through, you're just seeing your mom just kind of really weak.

And, you know, I was skipping school and I would just, you know, I just went rebel and it was really hard for me.

Yeah, I just really went the opposite way.

And, you know, my parents worked really hard to get me into this school, which was a really famous school.

And it was a fantastic Sylvia Young Theatre School.

And it's like, I mean, it was the best times of my life was at that school.

But when my parents were, you know, struggling, my mom was ill, I just, I couldn't focus.

And I just kind of wanted to be with her all the time, but she didn't want us to see her like that, so she wouldn't take us to her treatments and she'd wear a wig and things like that, so we wouldn't visually see the pain, basically.

You were trying to find a cure, you said.

I think I was just, I think me and my sister almost blamed.

I don't know what we were just trying to find the answer.

And it's like, obviously we would have done anything to get our mum out of that pain, you know?

So yeah, we don't really know what we were gonna do but we just went into sort of survival panic mode.

Is Rita before that incident different to Rita after that incident in a fundamental way?

I just really do appreciate people, my parents more than I did before.

So, you know, like every kid, sometimes your parents kind of get on your nerves or you're like, oh, I can't stand them when they do this or that.

But I always think, like, you just don't know when they're going to go.

So I've really made a conscious effort to appreciate them more than ever.

And if I ever see my siblings or the ones that I love, kind of naturally just react out of instinct or something, I'm like, just remember, You know what I mean?

You don't want that to be the last thing that you say to them.

You know, that's where my head is at now.

We cope in a variety of different ways to these traumatic events.

Some people, you know, you described becoming a bit of a rebel.

Some people, I mean, use work as a convenient distraction.

Other people go to therapy and confront it head on.

How are you a coper when these kinds of things happen in life?

I just really throw myself into work or I try and find a project that I'm really passionate about to just sort of distract.

Yeah I mean therapy's been an incredible thing that I've discovered, you know, since I was 26, I kind of started.

And my mom always would say, you should do it, you should do it.

See all The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett transcripts on Applepodcasts

E265: Rita Ora: “I Lived With Constant Anxiety”…After Being Signed By Jay-Z At 18!!!