"Two former secretaries come up with a money-making promotion to train Merlin's descendant." Who is Merlin's descendant? Why do they need money to train them? And what does this have to do with Hawaiian real estate? Our guest Rap Critic is here to help us work it all out! You can find him and his work here:

https://www.youtube.com/@RapCritic

https://www.patreon.com/rapcritic

https://ko-fi.com/rapcritic

https://www.twitch.tv/rapcritic



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2 former secretaries come up with a money-making promotion to train Merlin's descendant.

Hi, and welcome to Somebody Write This, where we use a random plot generator to give us an idea and then brainstorm how that could be a thing somebody might want to write.

So former guest Nat Chan is joining us on the show.

You may remember them from the basketball Demons and Angels episode way back at the beginning.

We had a series of supernatural sports stories for a little while, which was interesting.

We have ghost dodgeball in there somewhere too.

But yeah, so now we'll be joining us today.

And now why don't you go ahead and introduce our guest for us.

All right, so today to help us with the brainstorming process, we have Rap Critic here with us today.

That's right, it's your boy Rap Critic, AKA Johnny Maestro, AKA Black Thunder, the very ghost of Isaac Hayes, AKA Horse Choker, AKA, AKA, because I'm always known as something else.

But I would like to take just a second, especially for anybody who isn't already familiar with your work.

I know you from your work as a YouTuber, where you do a lot of reviews of rap music, often in very amusing ways, which is a lot of fun.

And so I get to discover a lot of new stuff through that.

But you also mentioned that you are working on a project yourself that is very story centric.

So I'd love to hear a little bit more about that.

Yeah, so for me, I make my own music in addition to being a critical of rap music.

So it was, put my money where my mouth is like, oh yeah, let me hear your stuff.

And it's like, hit up that Spotify, Johnny Maestro.

You can check out that wave dash joint that I just uploaded.

But yeah, the new album that I'm working on right now is a future easy.

It's in general, I like doing like concept albums cuz I like having like just for my own mind and working on stuff.

I like having like, okay, I got these set of tracks and they're leading to this and 1 song is gonna be about this and another song's gonna be about that.

Like, so it it gives my brain its own sort of like, you know, I have the motivation to write this song versus writing this song versus that song.

So, I I just, that's just for my own edification as a creator.

But I just recently, I, you know, usually their concept albums were like, not necessarily a story.

It'll be like, oh, it was a general idea.

I had 1 album called like Polarity Switch, where it's like, here's 5 scenarios.

And then what if like the opposite of those scenarios happened?

And like, okay, this is kind of like the this latest 1 is like, oh, you know, a guy wakes up in the future and it's actually not that far in the future but because things can change so fast, it feels like it's further in the future and so like, you know, how does this person adapt to this and the album kind of makes little like aesthetic references to like Futurama So it's like, oh, there's 1 song like Royal.

So there's like 1 song called Royal jelly and it's like, oh, if you know about that episode of, you know, Futurama, you know, and the hook is like the first spoonful gets you feeling all right in the second spoonful is a really good night but you don't want to eat that final third bite because there's something about that royal jelly or something like that.

And the thing what I'm doing is I'm working on like putting on a song out each month that's my like personal motivation for putting it on my Patreon at patreon.com slash rap critic where folks can get to see episodes first as well as hearing the new songs that I'm working on that I'm putting out, like trying to give myself a goal of like, okay, put out at least 1 song a month.

And a couple of the songs from that album are already available on that site.

So patreon.com slash rap critic, if you wanna hear what else your boy's cooking up.

will be sure to link it in the show notes.

And like Kofi as well, cause Patreon is where people do the ongoing support, but Kofi is where people can do like, you know, quick shot requests.

So I appreciate that a lot because it can shoot me a little money.

I'm like, hey, I'm able to eat something fancy tonight.

We'll make sure to put all that together.

I'm really intrigued by the concept album.

And so I'm all about like the albums that tell a story or that have the whole idea.

Like I grew up, I mean, come on, like concept albums are all, because it's like you're just listening to music and then you have that moment of, oh, wait a minute, hey, this is leading me somewhere from track to track.

1 of my favorite albums of all time of hip hop is like the digital underground, excuse the title, Adult Relations Packets is the name of the album.

And in the album, like the first couple of tracks, I don't think are related, but like, there's like a suite at the end where there's like 5 tracks in a row that it's all about like, oh, these special packets where like, you can have a fantasy and there's 1 song about this where the guy's trying to sell it and there's another song where you're in the middle of it and there's another song, it was like, and I love that.

The idea of this like, oh, here's this thing that, you know, an idea that's rolling on from 1 song to the next, especially back in 1990 when that album came out before anyone was thinking of a hip hop concept album.

So, you know, shout out to Digital Underground real quick.

As you're putting something together like this, as you know, you talked about this being a really good way for you to kind of structure the way this is going.

Do you ever come to a point where you're like, I feel like I need to write a song about this because that's where the concept is.

It's missing part of the story without it, but I'm not really inspired yet for this particular part of the story to be told.

I'm the way I write things in general is that like, I'll have like a, okay, there's this idea for a song and then I'll just like throw out a whole bunch of words and ideas that I have for the song and then I'll be like, maybe that kind of fits here.

Maybe that kind of fits up here, maybe that kind of fits down there.

So it's like a puzzle that I'm trying to figure out how it sounds out organically as I'm listening to it and like listening back to the beat and being like, would that sound good if I said it at this point?

That sounds good if I said it at this point?

So I'm not sure if I answered that question.

And that my brain was going like, Oh, wait, do I have the

And so I was like, I don't actually know how this process goes.

So as a reminder, our synopsis that we're starting with is 2 former secretaries come up with a money-making promotion to train Merlin's descendant.

First thought that I had on my mind was because we reviewed the Green Knight on the Review New Podcast, once again, a cheap plug.

And my co-host Evan brought up how Merlin the Magician apparently lives backwards.

And so the reason why he knows as much as he does is because he's just, he's already experienced it.

And so I just like, that's such an interesting dynamic.

But 1 of the first things I was thinking was like, okay, a descendant of Merlin, maybe there's something about like, you know, this descendant, maybe doesn't fully believe that he's a descendant, but he has visions of like a future because like, you know, his powers are kind of like coming to him and it's like, maybe he can view that vision of the future once he really like figures out his powers.

But right now he kind of is like he's having little vision of the future, but he's like, I don't really believe in this magic stuff.

So he doesn't really believe that it could be real.

Yeah, I love this idea that he's coming into the Merlin natural magical abilities and kind of figuring out what that

And these 2 former secretaries, maybe they're scam artists who have been trying to do things 1 way, trying to do things another way.

They come across this guy who seems to be able to predict stuff, and they're like, if he could predict where trends are going, you know what I'm saying?

I was going to say, maybe even have that directly tie in, in terms of, hey, we know this kid can do some cool stuff.

What if we get him on board with 1 of our sweet, sweet scams?

And so like, and I love the idea they were former secretaries.

Like if they, you know, maybe they both left or were fired from their jobs, maybe they were working in like finance or something and they both got fired because they were.

So maybe they left or were fired for fraud or embezzlement.

Right, and maybe that ties something about like, you know, there's gotta be some line of it was like, man, you guys just can't see the future, you know, like before they get fired, you know, you guys are always thinking behind.

And then they're like, well, they always want us to think for the future.

And then they come across this guy and it's like, oh, wait a minute, this guy can actually, and maybe there's something that comes in where it's like, it becomes known that Merlin's descendant can predict the future.

So then it becomes a thing where like, okay, now we trust him.

And now when he makes predictions for the future, that may not be true because people trust him.

People start like just doing what he says anyway, Maybe there could be something like that.

And so they could use it to manipulate the future, even if he's not actually seeing it, because people think that he's

Well, we'll make it the future if that's what people are going

Like, we make the future, you know, it becomes corrupt like that.

Oh man, how much is Merlin's descendant like on board with this?

I guess I was assuming it was a guy, but it could absolutely be a woman.

Excuse me, but I didn't mean to use language.

If we're already making it queer, Can I propose that the 2 secretaries are women, but they are also secret lovers?

And maybe that's actually the reason they got fired?

they're like, okay, well, you know, as long as they're like making us money, I guess we can kind of do that.

But then as soon as as soon as they had an opportunity to like, sort of like backstab them, or like the first time they're

And that's how come they have to get into the money making schemes now.

So that, you know, puts us a little bit on their side as well.

So yeah, So back to my question, how much is Merlin's descendant in on this?

like- I've got a reluctant idea where it's just like, I was going about my life, maybe I kind of noticed something and I didn't think about it.

Or maybe there is that sort of like, nah, that can't really be true.

There's some things that I kind of noticed, and maybe it's a little knack that I have, but to really push into it, that would mean that all of this is true, and I can't, you know, it's that sort of mental block, you know?

Well, and there could be an interesting thing where, like, we're looking at the secretaries are training Merlin's descendant.

So I don't know what exactly that looks like, but there could be a thing where like, as Merlin's descendant becomes more and more in control of their powers, like that they are, that they kind of want to take over and like, and want to start, you know, they're clearly much more powerful than the former secretaries.

And they're like, why am I working for you?

See, I think I like that dynamic at first.

First, Merlin is kind of reluctant, isn't really trying to like, you know, go into it.

And then, and so these people, you know, feel that they can take control of him.

Like, well, this guy who has a lot of power but doesn't really have a lot of confidence, well, we can decide what happens.

Then after a while, they start to go like, no, wait a minute, it's my power, that sort of deal.

Yeah, definitely, you see this dynamic where you have somebody training up someone who is going to be much more powerful than you and at some point they have to decide, am I going to like overthrow them and take all of it for myself?

We could have a nice little subplot, we can have a nice little subplot about how like, you know, they're coming to terms with like, how they're coming to terms with again, like, their protege becoming even even more successful than they are, you know, the student becomes the master and

It's like, if I can literally see the future, what I need you guys

When I like the idea of like, I'm curious at this point about who our protagonists and antagonists are really, because I like the idea of the beginning, like the former secretaries kind of being the villains, like taking this young person and kind of using them for their own ends and then flipping that part way through where the descendant is like, no, I'm going to use you.

You know how I want to make things more complex here?

This is how I'm going to throw it at you.

They're both kind of turn, the 2 of the, you know, the 2 secretaries seem kind of shady at first.

Then as things go on, it's kind of like, oh, wait a minute, maybe as we're making money and we're seeing how things are good, it's like, maybe we can do this right.

And then 1 of them kind of gets a little greedier than the other 1.

And then it becomes this, uh-oh, wait, no, we weren't supposed to go this far, you know?

And then it's like angels on the shoulder kind

Does 1 of them go seeking out, does 1 of them go seeking out like a descendant of Morgana or someone to try and defeat them?

We are on a roll, so I'm gonna pause this real quickly so we can get a title before it

I was gonna say, this would be a good time to find a

And it might be too late to not mess us up.

So hold on, let me fix the grammar of this.

Because this is not going, this title does not go the direction we're going.

Our title is The Middle Hawaiian Real Estate Developer.

So OK, we got the 2 secretaries on both sides of them.

Yes, so the middle of Merlin's descendant is caught in the middle between these 2.

And then it becomes a whole scheme of buy real estate in Hawaii.

Yeah, obviously that's a money making scheme.

Even though it's like, everyone on its face is kind of like, what?

There's only so much you can put on Hawaii.

And it's like, nope, I'm saying that that's what can happen.

Like maybe that becomes the big third third act plot point, you know?

Well, and like and we were talking about the secretaries as if they were in in finance initially, but like maybe they're in real estate specifically.

And so they have like they're like inside knowledge about stuff and are like, oh man, this is better than they can, especially if you know,

It doesn't have to be a finance scheme specifically.

So is it, so I'm picturing like, because this is the title, like I'm, I'm picturing like this is the, the cover of this book or this album or this movie is the 3 of them in their real estate developer poses being like, hire us.

Merlin hat and Merlin's descendant, they're in the middle looking a little uncertain as the 2 secretaries are on either side.

So you really get the sense that this person is caught in the middle between these 2.

So maybe they have like really different goals.

So as as the 2 secretaries are kind of growing apart in both their love life and their their business life and they want different things from Merlin's descendant.

Maybe 1 starts to like actually, you know, have a change of heart about like, we are, you know, we're using this kid when they could be doing other things.

I'm talking, oh, I'm thinking more than that.

We got a Disney plus mini series about the secretaries and then like we get, and then we get like a stage play afterwards.

a- The Mickey Mouse parody thing where he has to get the brooms break.

Have a tie in where he's like a kid again, and his dad is Merlin, and he's trying to impress him by doing the brooms, and it messes up.

There are definitely, there's so much in, like, There have been so many versions of the Merlin and Arthur story and I like this idea of little baby Merlin.

I was trying to remember what this was making me think of and I was like, no, we totally have a Disney.

This is this is the next iteration of like a that's so Raven.

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The Middle Hawaiian Real Estate Developer (Episode 90, w/ Rap Critic)