- John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight, discusses the importance of fireworks in America.
- He humorously describes the experience of attending a fireworks display on July 4th.
- Oliver highlights the typical sequence of fireworks and jokes about their resemblance to John McCain's speeches.
- He mentions the chaotic finale of the fireworks display and the reactions of the audience.
- Oliver concludes by praising America's ability to embrace excitement and move on from disappointment.

With Last Week Tonight on hiatus, John Oliver takes to the internet to cover the most important story of the past week: Fireworks.

Connect with Last Week Tonight online...

Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight

Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would:
http://facebook.com/LastWeekTonight

Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news:
http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight

Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once:
http://www.hbo.com/last-week-tonight-...

I'm John Oliver, host of last week tonight's YouTube channel.

We were off this week in observance of Independence Day, or as they call it where I'm from, the day of colonial aggression.

This past week, I'm guessing, brought Supreme Court rulings, international conflict, and 7,000 total hours of Major League Baseball games, or in layman's terms, 3 Major League Baseball games.

But the most important story from the past 7 days was of course, fireworks.

Well, because they're like sparkly guns you can shoot at the sky.

And that is why last week tonight has brought you comprehensive coverage of every July the 4th fireworks display that happened this week.

First of all, parking was a nightmare for you.

There were several spots that looked like spots but turned out not to be spots.

-♪ ♪ -♪ the experience brought couples of 20 years to the precipice of divorce.

-♪ ♪ -♪ Classical music was playing, because everything seems like a cultural event when there's classical music there.

If they played Vivaldi at monster truck rallies, schools would start taking field trips there.

The fireworks themselves proceeded mainly as follows.

And then a white 1 followed and also exploded.

Then, of course, red, white, and blue all at once.

That's fireworks greatest hits right there.

There were a bunch that went like, poof, poof, poof,

It reminds me of watching video of John McCain over time.

At this point, the spectators began checking their watches, and then towards the end, a whole shit ton of fireworks all went off at the same time.

Almost as if the guy running the fireworks said, fuck it, let's do them all, I've got American Idol DVR'd.

-...the classical music then reached a crescendo and stopped abruptly, allowing all those in attendance to hear the terrified yelps of all the children and pets nearby.

Everyone then applauded like the fireworks were going to take a bow.

Then they all stood up, walked back to their terrible parking spots and made the silent agreement not to think about fireworks at all until next Fourth of July, when they perform this exact ritual again.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes America great.

The ability to wholeheartedly embrace excitement while letting disappointment and failure slip away as quickly as you can.

We'll be back next week at 11 with a keep chancing!

We'll be back next week with a new episode at 11 o'clock.

Until then, short, patriotically at home, we'll see ya.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there. I'm John Oliver, host of last week tonight's YouTube channel. We were off this week in observance of Independence Day, or as they call it where I'm from, the day of colonial aggression. -♪ ♪ -♪ This... This past week, I'm guessing, brought Supreme Court rulings, international conflict, and 7,000 total hours of Major League Baseball games, or in layman's terms, 3 Major League Baseball games.

Take that, America's pastime! But the most important story from the past 7 days was of course, fireworks. We in America love fireworks. Why? Well, because they're like sparkly guns you can shoot at the sky.

And that is why last week tonight has brought you comprehensive coverage of every July the 4th fireworks display that happened this week. First of all, parking was a nightmare for you. There were several spots that looked like spots but turned out not to be spots. -♪ ♪ -♪ the experience brought couples of 20 years to the precipice of divorce. -♪ ♪ -♪ Classical music was playing, because everything seems like a cultural event when there's classical music there.

If they played Vivaldi at monster truck rallies, schools would start taking field trips there. The fireworks themselves proceeded mainly as follows. 1 red 1... Exploded. Then a blue 1, it also exploded.

And then a white 1 followed and also exploded. Then, of course, red, white, and blue all at once. That's fireworks greatest hits right there. There were a bunch that went like, poof, poof, poof,

Speaker 1: poof, poof, poof, poof, poof.

Speaker 0: And there was 1 that went, whistling.

Speaker 1: Ah! Poof, poof, poof, poof, poof.

Speaker 0: And that last one's my favorite. I love a slow explosion. It reminds me of watching video of John McCain over time. But, there's... -...pfft!

Speaker 1: -...pfft! Then there were

Speaker 0: some more regular ones. At this point, the spectators began checking their watches, and then towards the end, a whole shit ton of fireworks all went off at the same time. Almost as if the guy running the fireworks said, fuck it, let's do them all, I've got American Idol DVR'd. -...the classical music then reached a crescendo and stopped abruptly, allowing all those in attendance to hear the terrified yelps of all the children and pets nearby. Everyone then applauded like the fireworks were going to take a bow.

Then they all stood up, walked back to their terrible parking spots and made the silent agreement not to think about fireworks at all until next Fourth of July, when they perform this exact ritual again. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes America great. The ability to wholeheartedly embrace excitement while letting disappointment and failure slip away as quickly as you can.

Speaker 1: That's it. Shotgun yourselves a can of Bud Light. USA! USA! USA!

Pew, pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew! Pew! We'll be back next week at 11 with a keep chancing! Keep chancing!

We'll be back next week with a new episode at 11 o'clock. Until then, short, patriotically at home, we'll see ya. Pew, pew, pew, USA! USA!

See all LastWeekTonight transcripts on Youtube

Fireworks (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)