- The highest court in Europe ruled that Google and other search operators must delete search results if requested, calling it the "right to be forgotten"
- This ruling allows EU citizens to ask Google to remove links to embarrassing information about them
- The ruling is compared to taking cards out of a library card catalog
- There are concerns about the potential abuse of this right, with people requesting the removal of specific embarrassing stories
- The ruling may address the issue of the internet's unforgiving memory, but it is also seen as ineffective
- The case that sparked the ruling involved a man in Spain who wanted links to an auction notice of his repossessed home to be removed
- The right to be forgotten is seen as unworkable in the internet age, as embarrassing information on the internet never truly goes away
- The idea of "mutually assured humiliation" is proposed, where people share their worst photos online to prevent judgment of others.

John Oliver covers the new European law that would allow people to erase themselves from internet search engines.

He also starts proposes the hashtag #MutuallyAssuredHumiliation to save us from our own pasts by posting phenomenally embarrassing photos of ourselves.

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In Europe this week, there was some potentially significant news.

It is said the internet never forgets, until now that is.

In a huge ruling, the highest court in Europe ruled that Google and other search operators like it must delete search results if they are requested.

They are calling it the right to be forgotten.

Which, incidentally, is definitely my favorite non-existent Morrissey song.

What the ruling amounts to is that if there's something embarrassing on the internet about you Then EU citizens can now ask Google to take down any links to it or as CBS attempted to explain it to their older Viewers

You're looking at things that are actually material to you that you may not be able to find.

It's basically like saying in a library, you can have books that people don't like the topics, but you gotta take the cards out of the card catalog.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What?

Is it possible to use a metaphor more archaic than that 1?

Information is like a penny-farthing bicycle.

ISPs are the aft wheel, and users are the deerskin covering on the saddle spring.

And I'll tell you who seems weirdly excited about this potential new right, the newscasters reporting on it.

Let's hypothetically say when you were in high school, you toilet-papered someone's house, you were arrested.

That 1 night of wild drinking in college can haunt you forever online.

What if 10000000 people suddenly approach Google and say, by the way, you know that story about me running over a squirrel on my bicycle while drunk and naked, I want that removed.

That is way too specific to be something that he just came up with off the top of his head.

I guarantee you that there is a photo of that man naked on a bike, crushing a squirrel.

And, if there isn't, then frankly, there is now.

Meet your new top Google image hit, Brian Sullivan, and live with this for the rest of your life.

Maybe my favorite newscaster fantasy, spurred by this ruling, came this week from Fox News' Shep Smith.

I might go rob all the banks on the planet.

Just because you erased yourself from the Internet doesn't mean you won't be caught for robbing banks.

But it's genuinely charming that you think it is.

I just like to rob banks, that's all I...

Look, maybe this new ruling, though, addresses a genuine problem.

The Internet has an unforgiving memory, and it can ruin people's lives.

So, if all the ruling does is let people take down links to minor indiscretions from their past, it's probably fine.

A source that has knowledge of these requests says that a man in Europe who was convicted of child pornography was among the first people to request that links to articles about his conviction be taken down.

A politician with some bad behavior in office, even a doctor with a negative review.

Okay, a fail-safe question to ask yourself when drafting a law is, might child pornographers like this?

Luckily, the only thing stopping this ruling from doing real damage is that it is, by its nature, completely ineffective.

Because what the EU court doesn't understand is that the Internet is like quicksand.

The more aggressively you fight to remove yourself from it, the deeper you're going to sink down into it.

And the case in point is the guy who started all of this.

A man there argued that when a Google search turned up an auction notice of his repossessed home from back in 1998, that somehow that being out there was a violation of his privacy rights.

That Spanish man is Mario Costeja Gonzalez.

This is his photo, which was on an article from the New York Times about his crusade to remove links mentioning his debts from 1998.

In doing so, he is now world famous for being that Spanish guy with debts from 1998.

The only thing I know about him is the only thing he didn't want me to know.

All of this is why the right to be forgotten is no longer workable in the Internet age.

Nothing you are embarrassed of on the Internet is ever going away.

And we all have a horrifying photo from our past that undermines the very person we are now, professionally and personally.

And we can all live in fear of that thing ever surfacing, or we can all hold hands, jump at the same time, and save each other.

Which is why we are launching tonight, hashtag mutually assured humiliation.

If we all put our worst photo into the world together, none of us will ever be in a position to judge anyone else ever again.

And I am not talking about the cute, mildly embarrassing photo, like, I don't know, that 1 of yourself wearing a, let's say, homemade sweater with your own name on it.

The kind that you claim is embarrassing, but actually somehow humanizes you a little.

I am putting this photo up online right now.

You better fucking have done that as well, Or I just made a horrible mistake.

And I think I may have just made a horrible mistake.


Speaker 0: Welcome back. Let's talk about something else. The internet. In Europe this week, there was some potentially significant news.

Speaker 1: It is said the internet never forgets, until now that is. In a huge ruling, the highest court in Europe ruled that Google and other search operators like it must delete search results if they are requested. They are calling it the right to be forgotten.

Speaker 0: The right to be forgotten. Which, incidentally, is definitely my favorite non-existent Morrissey song. -♪ I have the right to be forgotten. ♪ -♪ I have... The right to be forgotten.

-♪ Ah, ah, ah. -♪ What if... Yeah, yeah, yes. What the ruling amounts to is that if there's something embarrassing on the internet about you Then EU citizens can now ask Google to take down any links to it or as CBS attempted to explain it to their older Viewers

Speaker 2: You're looking at things that are actually material to you that you may not be able to find. It's basically like saying in a library, you can have books that people don't like the topics, but you gotta take the cards out of the card catalog.

Speaker 0: A what? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What? A card catalog? Is it possible to use a metaphor more archaic than that 1? Information is like a penny-farthing bicycle.

The data is the spoon break. ISPs are the aft wheel, and users are the deerskin covering on the saddle spring. -$1.5 million. And I'll tell you who seems weirdly excited about this potential new right, the newscasters reporting on it.

Speaker 1: Let's hypothetically say when you were in high school, you toilet-papered someone's house, you were arrested.

Speaker 2: That 1 night of wild drinking in college can haunt you forever online.

Speaker 1: What if 10000000 people suddenly approach Google and say, by the way, you know that story about me running over a squirrel on my bicycle while drunk and naked, I want that removed. Okay. Okay. That...

Speaker 0: That is way too specific to be something that he just came up with off the top of his head. I guarantee you that there is a photo of that man naked on a bike, crushing a squirrel. And, if there isn't, then frankly, there is now. Yes. Meet...

Meet your new top Google image hit, Brian Sullivan, and live with this for the rest of your life. But... But... Maybe... Maybe my favorite newscaster fantasy, spurred by this ruling, came this week from Fox News' Shep Smith.

Speaker 2: I'm trying to think what I would give... To just be forgotten. Shep, can I say it? You are... I might go rob all the banks on the planet.

-...you are.

Speaker 0: -...hold on, Shep. Just because you erased yourself from the Internet doesn't mean you won't be caught for robbing banks. That's not how basically anything works. But it's genuinely charming that you think it is. I just like to rob banks, that's all I...

That's kind of my thing. Look, maybe this new ruling, though, addresses a genuine problem. The Internet has an unforgiving memory, and it can ruin people's lives. So, if all the ruling does is let people take down links to minor indiscretions from their past, it's probably fine.

Speaker 3: A source that has knowledge of these requests says that a man in Europe who was convicted of child pornography was among the first people to request that links to articles about his conviction be taken down. Of course. A politician with some bad behavior in office, even a doctor with a negative review.

Speaker 0: Okay, a fail-safe question to ask yourself when drafting a law is, might child pornographers like this? If so, maybe take another pass at it. Luckily, the only thing stopping this ruling from doing real damage is that it is, by its nature, completely ineffective. Because what the EU court doesn't understand is that the Internet is like quicksand. The more aggressively you fight to remove yourself from it, the deeper you're going to sink down into it.

And the case in point is the guy who started all of this.

Speaker 1: The case originated in Spain. A man there argued that when a Google search turned up an auction notice of his repossessed home from back in 1998, that somehow that being out there was a violation of his privacy rights.

Speaker 0: That Spanish man is Mario Costeja Gonzalez. This is his photo, which was on an article from the New York Times about his crusade to remove links mentioning his debts from 1998. In doing so, he is now world famous for being that Spanish guy with debts from 1998. The only thing I know about him is the only thing he didn't want me to know. And that, that is why all of this...

All of this is why the right to be forgotten is no longer workable in the Internet age. Nothing you are embarrassed of on the Internet is ever going away. And we all have a horrifying photo from our past that undermines the very person we are now, professionally and personally. And we can all live in fear of that thing ever surfacing, or we can all hold hands, jump at the same time, and save each other. Which is why we are launching tonight, hashtag mutually assured humiliation.

If we all put our worst photo into the world together, none of us will ever be in a position to judge anyone else ever again. And I am not talking about the cute, mildly embarrassing photo, like, I don't know, that 1 of yourself wearing a, let's say, homemade sweater with your own name on it. Hypothetically, hypothetically. You know, you know, the kind... -...the kind that you claim...

That's real. The kind that you claim is embarrassing, but actually somehow humanizes you a little. No, I'm talking about this. Toxic, weapons-grade awkwardness. In fact, yes.

I am putting this photo up online right now. We all have to do this together. I am trusting you all to do the same. 321. You have to do this with me, right?

Go. You better fucking have done that as well, Or I just made a horrible mistake. And I think I may have just made a horrible mistake.

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Right To Be Forgotten: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)