- The video is a news segment from a show called "Last Week Tonight"
- The host mentions that there is no show this week but they will still provide last week's news
- They make predictions for the news of the upcoming week
- The predictions include LeBron James dunking, an old rich man being accused of racism or sexism, a complicated situation in the Middle East, drug cartels celebrating killing their 1 millionth bystander, the Pope joining Tinder, a senator demanding answers about a band called Fugazi, NFL players coming out as gay, GM recalling cars made by other companies, an actor pretending to be a war hero being applauded, a circus both frightening and delighting children, and someone canceling on their aunt's Memorial Day cookout
- They jokingly mention the winning Powerball numbers
- They invite viewers to watch more videos and tweet at them about the accuracy of their predictions

John Oliver delivers last week's news, predicted two weeks ago. 
You get it. Just watch.

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-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello, and welcome to the Internet.

Unfortunately, there is no show this week, but the rest of the world does not stop randomly in our absence, like a General Motors vehicle.

Our obligation to bring you last week's news remains.

Now, we are taping this on Sunday, May 18th, because, frankly, we didn't feel like coming in to the studio on our week off.

But we sat down and we came up with some predictions that seem fairly safe...

-...for the news of next week that we can look back on as a last week, so you get the point.

Last week, LeBron James dunked a basket ball.

Forcefully several times in front of Miami's largest collection of assholes.

Additionally, an old rich man, last week was accused of racism or sexism, and while trying to explain them away, only seemed more racist.

I'm not sure who that was, but we haven't heard much from Donald Trump in a while, so I'm guessing it was him.

In international news, last week's situation in the Middle East was...

Those were all gimmies, Let's do some more, difficult, speculative news.

In Mexico, congratulations to the drug cartels, which...

Which last week celebrated killing their 1 millionth bystander.

Also, oh, you-you regretted laughing at the set-up there, didn't you?

-...you wait for the punchline or you get burned.

Also, a bit of a shock from the Vatican as the Pope joined Tinder and listed his status as down for whatevs.

Meanwhile, in Washington, America's most punk rock senator demanded answers about the 4 Americans lost in Fugazi.

It's been ages since their last album, and Hillary Clinton has some answering to do.

In, in sporting news, shocking news, as another NFL player came out last week, and then every other NFL player came out.

It turns out the NFL has been entirely gay all this time.

-♪ ♪ -♪ in business news, GM is now recalling cars made by other companies just to even the playing field.

In entertainment news, an actor pretending to be a war hero was applauded for his bravery.

We all thank him for his pretend service.

And a circus frightened as many children as it delighted.

That's not so much news as just a very safe bet.

And in your personal news, you canceled on your aunt's Memorial Day cookout tomorrow, because there's no way you're going to that thing.

--LAUGHTER --Finally, tonight, the winning Powerball numbers were...

Now, I realize that is a bold prediction to have made a week in advance, but holy shit, imagine if we nailed that 1.

Thank you so much for watching this week.

Feel free to watch more videos here on our YouTube channel, or tweet at us, at last week tonight to tell us how accurate our predictions were.

We'll be back next Sunday night with a new episode at 11 p.m.

On HBO, unless, of course, we nail the lottery numbers, in which case, fuck off and we will see you never.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello, and welcome to the Internet. Unfortunately, there is no show this week, but the rest of the world does not stop randomly in our absence, like a General Motors vehicle. So... Our obligation to bring you last week's news remains. Now, we are taping this on Sunday, May 18th, because, frankly, we didn't feel like coming in to the studio on our week off.

That's what vacation means. But we sat down and we came up with some predictions that seem fairly safe... -...for the news of next week that we can look back on as a last week, so you get the point. So, here goes. Our top stories.

Last week, LeBron James dunked a basket ball. Forcefully several times in front of Miami's largest collection of assholes. Just, yeah, easy bet, right? That's... That was just...

The first 1 was easy. Additionally, an old rich man, last week was accused of racism or sexism, and while trying to explain them away, only seemed more racist. I'm not sure who that was, but we haven't heard much from Donald Trump in a while, so I'm guessing it was him. In international news, last week's situation in the Middle East was... Let's say complicated.

Those were all gimmies, Let's do some more, difficult, speculative news. In Mexico, congratulations to the drug cartels, which... Which last week celebrated killing their 1 millionth bystander. Oh... Also, oh, you-you regretted laughing at the set-up there, didn't you?

-...you wait for the punchline or you get burned. That's a huge, teachable moment for you. Also, a bit of a shock from the Vatican as the Pope joined Tinder and listed his status as down for whatevs. Meanwhile, he's a new Pope. He's a refreshing change.

Meanwhile, in Washington, America's most punk rock senator demanded answers about the 4 Americans lost in Fugazi. Where are they? Where are they? It's been ages since their last album, and Hillary Clinton has some answering to do. In, in sporting news, shocking news, as another NFL player came out last week, and then every other NFL player came out.

It turns out the NFL has been entirely gay all this time. Yeah, I know. Yes. Yes. -♪ ♪ -♪ in business news, GM is now recalling cars made by other companies just to even the playing field.

In entertainment news, an actor pretending to be a war hero was applauded for his bravery. We all thank him for his pretend service. And a circus frightened as many children as it delighted. That's not so much news as just a very safe bet. And in your personal news, you canceled on your aunt's Memorial Day cookout tomorrow, because there's no way you're going to that thing.

No way. --LAUGHTER --Finally, tonight, the winning Powerball numbers were... 13, 34, 7, 45, 51, and 20. Now, I realize that is a bold prediction to have made a week in advance, but holy shit, imagine if we nailed that 1. Just imagine that.

Yes! Thank you so much for watching this week. Feel free to watch more videos here on our YouTube channel, or tweet at us, at last week tonight to tell us how accurate our predictions were. We'll be back next Sunday night with a new episode at 11 p.m. On HBO, unless, of course, we nail the lottery numbers, in which case, fuck off and we will see you never.

We'll never... We don't need you! We're rich! We're rich! Join us next week.

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Last Week's News...We Think (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)