- John Oliver, from Premium Cable, introduces himself and mentions his previous criticisms of FIFA, Dr. Oz, and Caillou.
- He announces that he will now take on piñatas, calling them the "Trojan donkeys of diabetes."
- He expresses his dislike for piñatas, stating that they teach children animal cruelty.
- He jokes about wanting candy without having to destroy a piñata.
- He then proceeds to literally destroy piñatas for the sake of accurate internet headlines.
- He thanks the audience and promotes the upcoming episode of Last Week Tonight on HBO.

Watch John Oliver deliver an epic takedown of piñatas.

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I'm Premium Cable's John Oliver, although, if you don't read Internet news sites, you probably know me as, oh, he has a show now?

But If you're a regular Huffington Post reader, you may recognize me as the man who tore apart FIFA, verbally pantsed Dr.

Oz, and pulverized fictional Canadian Caillou's stupid bald head into dust.

Now, to be fair, they didn't say that last 1, but I did do it, and I'll do it again.

For shit's sake, Caillou, at least get a hobby, you cheap Charlie Brown knockoff.

But right now, I'm going to widen my swathe of destruction, or to put it in terms the Internet will respond to, what happens at the two-minute mark of this video will amaze you.

Because the Internet does not know how to describe things anymore, and tonight, I'm going to take on piñatas, or as they should be called, the Trojan donkeys of diabetes.

First of all, first of all, and this is important, f*** piñatas.

They teach children that animal cruelty is delicious, which...

Which yes, often it is, but we're not here to talk about factory farming.

If you're going to give me candy, just give me the candy, okay?

Don't make me go all Joe Pesci on a papier-mâché SpongeBob.

-♪ ♪ -♪ SpongeBob doesn't owe me money.

But for some reason, we're trickle-treating, execution-style at my nephew's birthday party.

Now at this point, you're probably thinking, hey, John, stop.

You have demolished, slammed, eviscerated, decimated, and teabagged piñatas.

-♪ ♪ -♪ But you would be wrong, because that's not what any of those words mean.

Up until this point, I've just made some deservedly mean jokes about them.

But now, for the sake of accurate internet headlines, I will literally destroy them.

You want to see me literally destroy piñatas?

And more or less 2 minutes just as I predicted.

Thank you all for joining me for this epic piñata takedown.

We'll be back on HBO Sunday, September the 7th with a new episode of Last Week Tonight.

30 minutes of news that will change how loosely you are willing to define the word news.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there. I'm Premium Cable's John Oliver, although, if you don't read Internet news sites, you probably know me as, oh, he has a show now? Really? Okay. Okay.

But If you're a regular Huffington Post reader, you may recognize me as the man who tore apart FIFA, verbally pantsed Dr. Oz, and pulverized fictional Canadian Caillou's stupid bald head into dust. Now, to be fair, they didn't say that last 1, but I did do it, and I'll do it again. For shit's sake, Caillou, at least get a hobby, you cheap Charlie Brown knockoff. Okay.

That feels good. But right now, I'm going to widen my swathe of destruction, or to put it in terms the Internet will respond to, what happens at the two-minute mark of this video will amaze you. Because the Internet does not know how to describe things anymore, and tonight, I'm going to take on piñatas, or as they should be called, the Trojan donkeys of diabetes. First of all, first of all, and this is important, f*** piñatas. They teach children that animal cruelty is delicious, which...

Which yes, often it is, but we're not here to talk about factory farming. If you're going to give me candy, just give me the candy, okay? Don't make me go all Joe Pesci on a papier-mâché SpongeBob. -♪ ♪ -♪ SpongeBob doesn't owe me money. He didn't disrespect my family.

But for some reason, we're trickle-treating, execution-style at my nephew's birthday party. Now at this point, you're probably thinking, hey, John, stop. You have demolished, slammed, eviscerated, decimated, and teabagged piñatas. -♪ ♪ -♪ But you would be wrong, because that's not what any of those words mean. Up until this point, I've just made some deservedly mean jokes about them.

But now, for the sake of accurate internet headlines, I will literally destroy them. I will destroy them, okay? Okay? You want to see me literally destroy piñatas? You'll get it!

And more or less 2 minutes just as I predicted. Did that look as cool as it felt? Thank you all for joining me for this epic piñata takedown. We'll be back on HBO Sunday, September the 7th with a new episode of Last Week Tonight. 30 minutes of news that will change how loosely you are willing to define the word news.

We'll be back! Thank you!

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John Oliver Literally Destroys Piñatas (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver