- The video discusses the importance of accurate translation in war zones and the risk that local interpreters face.
- It highlights the bureaucratic challenges faced by Afghan interpreters trying to obtain special immigrant visas to come to the United States.
- The State Department is blamed for the delays in visa processing, with some blaming the applicants themselves.
- The complicated and lengthy application process for the special immigrant visa is outlined.
- The video suggests that the US government should consider processing applicants in Guam, as was done after the Vietnam War.
- The crowdfunding efforts of Marines to help a translator with medical exams are mentioned.
- The story of another translator, Mohammed, who waited over 3 years for his visa, is shared.

- The speaker's father was killed and his brother was kidnapped, leading him to pay $35,000 to get him back.
- After a long application process, the speaker's name was changed to FNU Mohammed due to a clerical error.
- The speaker highlights the case of Smoke the Donkey, who was processed faster than him to come to the US.
- The speaker emphasizes the need to fix the visa system and extend it to help translators like him.
- The visa program in Iraq has expired and Afghanistan is scheduled to stop issuing visas, leaving translators in a difficult situation.
- The speaker, Mohamed, shares his experience and his family's hardships.
- Mohamed's family had to leave Afghanistan due to threats from the Taliban.
- Mohamed's family is involved in a humanitarian visa application process.
- The speaker expresses frustration with the lack of a similar program for Afghan interpreters like there is for Iraqi interpreters.
- Mohamed expresses gratitude for the opportunity to work with the US military but also acknowledges the hardships his family has faced.
- There is no specific word in Pashto or English to convey both deep gratitude and profound shame for how interpreters have been treated.

Translators who have aided the U.S. Military in Afghanistan and Iraq are in great danger in their home countries, but red tape is making it impossible for many of them to leave. John Oliver interviews Mohammad, one translator who made it out.

For more info on efforts to assist U.S.-affiliated refugees in Iraq and Afghanistan see http://thelistproject.org , and http://refugeerights.org .

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-♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ let me warn you, our main story tonight is going to end with you getting extremely angry at a donkey.

That might not make sense right now, but it is going to.

We've all seen the comic ways in which it can go wrong.

The Chinese signs that say things like, do drunken driving, or f*** vegetables.

But to be fair, yes, that's a silly sign, but at the same time, f*** vegetables, am I right?

Maybe you've seen the YouTube videos where people put songs like Let It Go into Google Translate, then translate them back into English and sing the results.

♪ I've got to say, that would be an amazing tone for the Frozen sequel.

A bitter woman warbling about defeat in a radioactive ice castle.

Look, bad translation can be a lot of fun when the stakes are low.

But if you're in a war zone, accurate translation can be the difference between life and death.

And over the last decade, good local interpreters in Afghanistan and Iraq have saved countless American lives.

Let me show you an Afghani man named Sarosh translating a warning about some IEDs.

Someone told me that there's IEDs in this way.

I don't know what's going on, but we're trying to find out.

We're trying to find out what's going on.

You see, that is a good message to get exactly right.

You don't want someone saying, oh, to be honest, my pashto's a little shaky, but there's either an IED or an Ikea behind those rocks somewhere.

Also, I think he said something about fuck vegetables.

Ask any veteran, And they will tell you that translators risked their own lives working for us.

And because they did that, they are permanent targets for insurgents.

Here's what the translator you just saw, Soroush, has been up to lately.

My relatives told me that, hey, Soroush, Be careful, the bad people looking for you.

I'm afraid of that day which the NATO leave Afghanistan, the United States forces leave Afghanistan.

They going to probably cut my head off, probably.

You're probably thinking right now, well, we need to move heaven and earth to get that man and his family and bring them to safety.

And the fact that we are not is what this story is about.

Because Sorosh, like a shocking number of interpreters, has applied for a visa, but is stuck in bureaucratic limbo.

And the crazy thing is, there is absolutely no good reason for that.

Congress passed bills in 2008 and 2009, providing thousands of special immigrant visas for local nationals who worked with the U.S.

But despite huge demand, very few were issued.

For instance, through the Afghanistan bill, we could have given out up to 1,500 visas a year.

The number of visas for Afghanis who risked their lives for us should not be so low that relatively stupid toddlers can count up to it, or relatively intelligent horses.

Now, to be fair, things have improved slightly recently, thanks in part to pressure from groups like the List Project and IRAP, but it is still not moving nearly fast enough.

Help us understand just how difficult it is for Afghans who worked with U.S.

I would say it's akin to literally winning the lottery.

Yeah, but it should not be like a lottery where the odds are terrible.

It should be more like a Little League awards ceremony where everyone's a winner, because they're all an important part of the fucking team.

There are currently thousands of interpreters with visa applications pending, and if you're wondering whose fault this is, the State Department has a surprising answer.

Jarrett Blank is a deputy special representative for Afghanistan and Pakistan at the State Department.

He blames some of the delays on the applicants themselves.

A lot of those people are actually, maybe not quite half of them are...

So they've started the application, or perhaps they've gotten through the first step, but they need to finish their own paperwork before we can take the next step with them.

You are on the edge of saying, well, look, maybe the Taliban wouldn't be following them around if these translators weren't dressed so slutty.

But since he brings up the paperwork, let's just take a look at it.

Because applying for a special immigrant visa is a 14-step process, which is a lot.

Bear in mind that even getting off heroin only takes 12.

Because first, first, you've got your DS-157 form.

This contains all your basic information.

It also needs to come with a verification of employment letter from an HR director, as well as a letter of recommendation from a direct supervisor.

Now, if you can't find your former supervisor, which is entirely possible, don't worry.

You just need a DS-158 supervisor locator form, although that will only work if your supervisor was directly employed by the military, if they were a contractor, which they probably were, you're shit out of luck.

You will also need to submit a proof of nationality form and a copy of your employee badge, because no 1 has ever lost 1 of those.

And, once you've filled all of this in, you simply submit it for approval, and then wait for anything between a few months and a few years.

And if you're approved, then congratulations, because you are at the petition stage.

For this, you are going to need your I-360 form, which is basically the DS-157 form all over again.

Oh, and remember to bring that to your interview at the U.S.

Embassy, although in Afghanistan, funny story, they're not scheduling those at the moment, partly because the system's so backed up, and partly because this whole program is set to expire at the end of the year for no fucking reason whatsoever.

At this stage, you as a translator, may feel a little like this.

♪ But don't, don't, because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And this little beauty contains such questions as, are you coming to the U.S.

To which I'm guessing your answer is, ooh, To be honest, my main plan was to not get killed by the Taliban.

I hadn't really worked out a plan of attack for my sex life yet.

Because after all this paperwork, plus, of course, a visa interview, a medical examination, security clearance, and paying out of pocket for passports, vaccinations, and your own plane tickets, you get to come to America.

You will be not re-interviewed, you will be receiving in several months your visa.

And this is 9 months ago, so what's the problem?

By now, the ghost of Franz Kafka is thinking, don't you dare call this Kafkaesque.

I don't want my name anywhere near this shit.

Because compared to this, waking up as a cockroach is normal.

And I understand the need for security screenings, but America has done this quicker before.

Resettled 140,000 refugees in just 4 months.

We did it perfectly at the end of the Vietnam War.

And there is a sentence you don't often get to say out loud.

What we did was we took everyone to Guam and processed them there in safety.

It's 200 square miles of palm trees and storage space.

Government may have doubts about some of these translators, The troops who served alongside them certainly don't.

Well, the Marines he served with created a crowdfunding page to finance his medical exams.

Where you can read comments such as, thanks brother for helping us survive and return to our families alive, and thanks for saving our ass so many times, time to get you stateside.

And it is both inspiring and horrifying that the life of a man who saved Americans is in the hands of the same process through which we finance Zach Braff's shitty movies.

Mohammed, an Afghani translator who started his application in September 2010 and finally made it to America 3 years and 4 months later.

But this was the atmosphere in which he had to do that waiting.

And at the next step, they tried to kill my brothers.

They took my little brother, which I love him more than everyone.

Once they took him and they told me to pay almost $35,000.

They kidnapped his three-year-old brother, and he spent his entire life savings to get him back.

And at that point, it was already 2 and 1 half years into his application process.

And having gone through all that, when Mohamed finally got his visa, a clerical error resulted in his name being officially changed to FNU Mohammed, which is an acronym for First Name Unknown.

Meaning that on official documents, to all intents and purposes, his name is now FNU.

And FNU is for not a for-knocking-for name.

And I know we can do this quicker, not just because of Guam, but because there is at least 1 other documented case of an evacuee from Iraq who did get processed faster.

Smoke the donkey wandered onto a military base in 2008 and was befriended by some U.S.

They have brought the donkey to the United States.

I want to say we started this probably back in September of 2010.

Remember who else started his application in September of 2010?

It took Smoke the Donkey 8 months to get to America.

It took Muhammad nearly 3 and a half years.

I told you this story was gonna end with you getting fucking pissed off at a donkey.

You're just emblematic of a much larger problem.

But before we can even do that, we have to extend it.

In Iraq, the visa program expired at the end of last month, which I guess is fine.

It's not like we're gonna need translators again there anytime soon.

And in Afghanistan, they're scheduled to stop issuing visas altogether on December the 31st.

Meaning that any translator like Mohammed will be forced to find a friend and invest in a very good two-piece pantomime donkey costume to have any fucking hope of getting into this country.

I'm honored to say that we are actually joined by Mohamed this evening.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mohamed!

much for being here and for everything you've done, Mohamed.

Well, Fnou, I have a few questions for you.

Now, we've just seen how crazy the visa process is.

As a translator, I'm interested, what is the Pashto word for bureaucratic clusterfuck?

So at least we've all learned a bit of useful Pashto this evening, if nothing else.

A couple of things just about your situation, because while working with the US military, you were shot at twice and survived an IED explosion.

So I really guess, I first want to ask, why did you choose to do that job?

And during that time, I met with 1 American contractor.

He recruited me and he came into me, like, come work with us as a translator.

I was like, OK, I'm going to talk to my family.

He was like, this is a great opportunity.

You're going to be helping your country and you're supporting the US troop that they're here for your country to rebuild your country.

So the next day I signed the contract and...

..Stand up for being a translator to support the US troop or the coalition forces and help my country.

Let's talk a little about your family now, because your mum and your siblings, they have left Afghanistan, is that correct?

Because once the Taliban, they kidnapped my little brother.

1 time they killed my dad, and the second time when they kidnapped my little brother.

We didn't want to take the third-time risk.

They left me a note, ransom letter, saying I have to pay $35,000.

I paid them their money and they released my brother.

I wish that could have happened to my dad, too.

I could have buy him, too, but that didn't happen.

And they're hiding, and they're in the...

They're involved in this Hail Mary humanitarian visa application now.

And Where this bureaucracy gets even crazier is, if you had been an Iraqi interpreter, your family would have been eligible to come here under category 5 of the direct access program, but Afghanistan does not have a similar program for no f***ing reason whatsoever.

So, the process that they have for us is just a single man.

Is there a word in Pashto to convey deep gratitude for someone's service, but also profound shame in how they've been treated?


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ let me warn you, our main story tonight is going to end with you getting extremely angry at a donkey. That might not make sense right now, but it is going to. So, Let's begin. Translation. We've all seen the comic ways in which it can go wrong.

The Chinese signs that say things like, do drunken driving, or f*** vegetables. I mean... But to be fair, yes, that's a silly sign, but at the same time, f*** vegetables, am I right? Am I right? Or, or...

Maybe you've seen the YouTube videos where people put songs like Let It Go into Google Translate, then translate them back into English and sing the results. -♪

Speaker 1: Give up, give up

Speaker 0: ♪ ♪

Speaker 2: On the rise for radiation

Speaker 0: ♪ ♪

Speaker 2: Give up, give up It runs perfect woman

Speaker 0: ♪ I've got to say, that would be an amazing tone for the Frozen sequel. A bitter woman warbling about defeat in a radioactive ice castle. I'm in. I am in. Look, bad translation can be a lot of fun when the stakes are low.

But if you're in a war zone, accurate translation can be the difference between life and death. And over the last decade, good local interpreters in Afghanistan and Iraq have saved countless American lives. Let me show you an Afghani man named Sarosh translating a warning about some IEDs.

Speaker 3: He says that there's IEDs. Someone told me that there's IEDs in this way.

Speaker 1: Okay. Thank you. I'm very sorry. We don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on, but we're trying to find out.

We're trying to find out what's going on. Thank you.

Speaker 0: You see, that is a good message to get exactly right. You don't want someone saying, oh, to be honest, my pashto's a little shaky, but there's either an IED or an Ikea behind those rocks somewhere. Also, I think he said something about fuck vegetables. I think... Ask any veteran, And they will tell you that translators risked their own lives working for us.

And because they did that, they are permanent targets for insurgents. Here's what the translator you just saw, Soroush, has been up to lately.

Speaker 3: My relatives told me that, hey, Soroush, Be careful, the bad people looking for you. And please run away. I'm afraid of that day which the NATO leave Afghanistan, the United States forces leave Afghanistan. It means we are done. They going to catch me.

They going to probably cut my head off, probably. You don't know.

Speaker 0: You're probably thinking right now, well, we need to move heaven and earth to get that man and his family and bring them to safety. And the fact that we are not is what this story is about. Because Sorosh, like a shocking number of interpreters, has applied for a visa, but is stuck in bureaucratic limbo. And the crazy thing is, there is absolutely no good reason for that. Congress passed bills in 2008 and 2009, providing thousands of special immigrant visas for local nationals who worked with the U.S.

Military. But despite huge demand, very few were issued. For instance, through the Afghanistan bill, we could have given out up to 1,500 visas a year. Guess how many we gave out in 2011? It was 3.

The number of visas for Afghanis who risked their lives for us should not be so low that relatively stupid toddlers can count up to it, or relatively intelligent horses. 1, 2, shouldn't it be more than this? 3. Now, to be fair, things have improved slightly recently, thanks in part to pressure from groups like the List Project and IRAP, but it is still not moving nearly fast enough.

Speaker 4: Help us understand just how difficult it is for Afghans who worked with U.S. Forces to get these special visas.

Speaker 5: It's next year impossible. I would say it's akin to literally winning the lottery.

Speaker 0: Yeah, but it should not be like a lottery where the odds are terrible. These people risk their lives for us. It should be more like a Little League awards ceremony where everyone's a winner, because they're all an important part of the fucking team. Now... There are...

There are currently thousands of interpreters with visa applications pending, and if you're wondering whose fault this is, the State Department has a surprising answer.

Speaker 6: Jarrett Blank is a deputy special representative for Afghanistan and Pakistan at the State Department. He blames some of the delays on the applicants themselves.

Speaker 7: A lot of those people are actually, maybe not quite half of them are... Control their own timing, essentially. So they've started the application, or perhaps they've gotten through the first step, but they need to finish their own paperwork before we can take the next step with them.

Speaker 0: Whoa-ho-ho! That is some first-class victim-blaming. You are on the edge of saying, well, look, maybe the Taliban wouldn't be following them around if these translators weren't dressed so slutty. Have you thought about that? But since he brings up the paperwork, let's just take a look at it.

Because applying for a special immigrant visa is a 14-step process, which is a lot. Bear in mind that even getting off heroin only takes 12. Okay, so, are you ready for this shit? Let's do it. Because first, first, you've got your DS-157 form.

This contains all your basic information. It also needs to come with a verification of employment letter from an HR director, as well as a letter of recommendation from a direct supervisor. Now, if you can't find your former supervisor, which is entirely possible, don't worry. You just need a DS-158 supervisor locator form, although that will only work if your supervisor was directly employed by the military, if they were a contractor, which they probably were, you're shit out of luck. You will also need to submit a proof of nationality form and a copy of your employee badge, because no 1 has ever lost 1 of those.

And, once you've filled all of this in, you simply submit it for approval, and then wait for anything between a few months and a few years. And if you're approved, then congratulations, because you are at the petition stage. For this, you are going to need your I-360 form, which is basically the DS-157 form all over again. Oh, and remember to bring that to your interview at the U.S. Embassy, although in Afghanistan, funny story, they're not scheduling those at the moment, partly because the system's so backed up, and partly because this whole program is set to expire at the end of the year for no fucking reason whatsoever.

At this stage, you as a translator, may feel a little like this. ♪

Speaker 1: Give up,

Speaker 2: give up

Speaker 0: ♪ ♪

Speaker 2: Tune in and slam the door

Speaker 0: ♪ But don't, don't, because there is light at the end of the tunnel. Well, not light so much as the DS-264. And this little beauty contains such questions as, are you coming to the U.S. To practice polygamy? To which I'm guessing your answer is, ooh, To be honest, my main plan was to not get killed by the Taliban.

I hadn't really worked out a plan of attack for my sex life yet. But, but, but don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry.

Because after all this paperwork, plus, of course, a visa interview, a medical examination, security clearance, and paying out of pocket for passports, vaccinations, and your own plane tickets, you get to come to America. Or, as 1 translator discovered, not. I'm approved from the SIV. Got the passport. Everything is done.

After that, they just give me this card. You will be not re-interviewed, you will be receiving in several months your visa. And this is 9 months ago, so what's the problem? They deny my visa. What the f***?

By now, the ghost of Franz Kafka is thinking, don't you dare call this Kafkaesque. I don't want my name anywhere near this shit. Because compared to this, waking up as a cockroach is normal. This whole process makes no sense. And I understand the need for security screenings, but America has done this quicker before.

After the Vietnam War, the U.S. Resettled 140,000 refugees in just 4 months. We did it perfectly at the end of the Vietnam War. And there is a sentence you don't often get to say out loud. -...out loud.

-...out loud. What we did was we took everyone to Guam and processed them there in safety. So, why aren't we just doing that again? What else are we gonna do with Guam? It's Guam.

It's 200 square miles of palm trees and storage space. It's Guam. And while the U.S. Government may have doubts about some of these translators, The troops who served alongside them certainly don't. Because you remember Srosh?

Well, the Marines he served with created a crowdfunding page to finance his medical exams. Where you can read comments such as, thanks brother for helping us survive and return to our families alive, and thanks for saving our ass so many times, time to get you stateside. And it is both inspiring and horrifying that the life of a man who saved Americans is in the hands of the same process through which we finance Zach Braff's shitty movies. And... And let me...

Let me show you... Let me show you just 1 more case. Mohammed, an Afghani translator who started his application in September 2010 and finally made it to America 3 years and 4 months later. So at least he's here. There is that.

But this was the atmosphere in which he had to do that waiting.

Speaker 5: They killed my dad. And at the next step, they tried to kill my brothers. They took my little brother, which I love him more than everyone. Once they took him and they told me to pay almost $35,000.

Speaker 0: That's right. They kidnapped his three-year-old brother, and he spent his entire life savings to get him back. And at that point, it was already 2 and 1 half years into his application process. And having gone through all that, when Mohamed finally got his visa, a clerical error resulted in his name being officially changed to FNU Mohammed, which is an acronym for First Name Unknown. Meaning that on official documents, to all intents and purposes, his name is now FNU.

-... And FNU is for not a for-knocking-for name. -... And I know we can do this quicker, not just because of Guam, but because there is at least 1 other documented case of an evacuee from Iraq who did get processed faster.

Speaker 2: Smoke, the Iraqi donkey, is in the U.S.

Speaker 6: Smoke the donkey wandered onto a military base in 2008 and was befriended by some U.S. Marines.

Speaker 2: They have brought the donkey to the United States. Smoke is now an American.

Speaker 1: It was a long process. I want to say we started this probably back in September of 2010.

Speaker 0: Remember who else started his application in September of 2010? Muhammad. It took Smoke the Donkey 8 months to get to America. It took Muhammad nearly 3 and a half years. See?

I told you this story was gonna end with you getting fucking pissed off at a donkey. ---- you, Smoke. --- you hee-hawing piece of shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, it's not your fault, Smoke. You're just emblematic of a much larger problem. You hee-hawing piece of shit. Now, listen, we have to fix this system. But before we can even do that, we have to extend it.

In Iraq, the visa program expired at the end of last month, which I guess is fine. It's not like we're gonna need translators again there anytime soon. And in Afghanistan, they're scheduled to stop issuing visas altogether on December the 31st. Meaning that any translator like Mohammed will be forced to find a friend and invest in a very good two-piece pantomime donkey costume to have any fucking hope of getting into this country. I'm honored to say that we are actually joined by Mohamed this evening.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mohamed! -♪♪♪♪ Get it over with. Get it over with. -♪♪♪♪ Mohamed. Go ahead.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Do that, buddy. Do that. Mohamed. Yes. First...

First,

Speaker 1: Thank you so

Speaker 0: much for being here and for everything you've done, Mohamed. Fnou. Sorry, Fnou. It's Fnou. Which do you prefer, Mohamed or Fnou?

Which is better?

Speaker 8: Well, now it's Fnou, so...

Speaker 0: It's Fnou. It's Fnou. It's Fnou. Well, Fnou, I have a few questions for you. Now, we've just seen how crazy the visa process is.

As a translator, I'm interested, what is the Pashto word for bureaucratic clusterfuck? So...

Speaker 8: -...the Pasad Idara. -What is it? The Pasad Idara or Gadwadai.

Speaker 0: Okay, nice. That's good. So at least we've all learned a bit of useful Pashto this evening, if nothing else. Look, I want to... A couple of things just about your situation, because while working with the US military, you were shot at twice and survived an IED explosion.

So I really guess, I first want to ask, why did you choose to do that job?

Speaker 8: I was working with British forces. And during that time, I met with 1 American contractor. He recruited me and he came into me, like, come work with us as a translator. We need people to help us. And I was not by my own.

I was like, OK, I'm going to talk to my family. So I went to talk to my family. I talked to my dad. He was glad. He was really excited.

He was like, this is a great opportunity. You're going to be helping your country and you're supporting the US troop that they're here for your country to rebuild your country. So the next day I signed the contract and... ..Stand up for being a translator to support the US troop or the coalition forces and help my country.

Speaker 0: Let's talk a little about your family now, because your mum and your siblings, they have left Afghanistan, is that correct? Yes. Why did they leave?

Speaker 8: Because once the Taliban, they kidnapped my little brother. 1 time they killed my dad, and the second time when they kidnapped my little brother. So it was too much. We didn't want to take the third-time risk. I have to pay them.

They left me a note, ransom letter, saying I have to pay $35,000. I paid them their money and they released my brother. I wish that could have happened to my dad, too. I could have buy him, too, but that didn't happen. So now they're hiding.

Speaker 0: And they're hiding, and they're in the... They're involved in this Hail Mary humanitarian visa application now. And Where this bureaucracy gets even crazier is, if you had been an Iraqi interpreter, your family would have been eligible to come here under category 5 of the direct access program, but Afghanistan does not have a similar program for no f***ing reason whatsoever.

Speaker 8: My family got... They got hurt because of me. I lost my dad because of me. Because of my job. So, the process that they have for us is just a single man.

I work for them. Here, this is the visa, Just you. Come to the United States. And...

Speaker 0: I guess I have 1 final question. Is there a word in Pashto to convey deep gratitude for someone's service, but also profound shame in how they've been treated?

Speaker 8: Not really.

Speaker 0: There isn't really an English either. I can't thank

Speaker 1: you

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Translators: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)