- John Oliver celebrates reaching 1 million subscribers on Last Week Tonight's YouTube page
- He compares YouTube subscribers to pogs and jokes about not knowing what they do
- He highlights that a million is a large number and compares it to the population of Sacramento and the number of Dropkick Murphys in the US
- Oliver jokes about being a YouTube millionaire and the coolness of being involved with a million of anything
- He makes a humorous reference to the number of zeros in a million looking like abs
- Oliver mentions various other references to the number one million, including a song by John Legend
- He jokes about the lyrics of the John Legend song and his own lack of knowledge about foreplay
- Oliver thanks his subscribers, even those who leave negative comments, and signs off.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: 1,000,000 YouTube Subscribers (Web Exclusive)

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I'm John Oliver, and welcome to the YouTube page of Last Week Tonight, which recently passed the 1000000 subscriber mark.

And I think of YouTube subscribers the same way I think of pogs.

I recently acquired quite a lot of them, and I'm not exactly sure what they do.

I did say I recently acquired a lot of pogs.

That market is due for a rebound, you watch.

But look, a million of anything is an awful lot.

It's more than twice the population of Sacramento, and roughly half of our nation's total number of dropkick Murphys.

And I'm excited to be a YouTube millionaire, because a million of Anything is pretty impressive.

It's fairly uncommon, and it's cool to be involved with.

It's a man march, it's a dollar baby, it's the number of little pieces in a largely fictionalized addiction memoir.

And of course, it's a song by John Legend that includes the line, I kiss your neck, and you know what comes next?

Although, frankly, I think you're skipping a few steps.

After the neck, it's the back, et cetera, et cetera.

Anyway, it is nice to finally have as many subscribers as comments that say things like, I hate John Oliver and his fake audience.

Thank you for subscribing, fake audience.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Hello there. I'm John Oliver, and welcome to the YouTube page of Last Week Tonight, which recently passed the 1000000 subscriber mark. And I think of YouTube subscribers the same way I think of pogs. I recently acquired quite a lot of them, and I'm not exactly sure what they do. And yes, yes, you heard me.

I did say I recently acquired a lot of pogs. That market is due for a rebound, you watch. But look, a million of anything is an awful lot. It's more than twice the population of Sacramento, and roughly half of our nation's total number of dropkick Murphys. And I'm excited to be a YouTube millionaire, because a million of Anything is pretty impressive.

A million is... It's like the Ryan Gosling of numbers. It's fairly uncommon, and it's cool to be involved with. Plus, the zeros kind of look like abs. A million is a lot of things.

It's a man march, it's a dollar baby, it's the number of little pieces in a largely fictionalized addiction memoir. And of course, it's a song by John Legend that includes the line, I kiss your neck, and you know what comes next? Sex. Yeah. We get it.

We get it, John Legend. We all know how foreplay works. Although, frankly, I think you're skipping a few steps. After the neck, it's the back, et cetera, et cetera. I don't remember, but that's not my job.

That's not my job. I'm not an R&B singer... Yet. But it's coming. Anyway, it is nice to finally have as many subscribers as comments that say things like, I hate John Oliver and his fake audience.

So... Thank you for subscribing, fake audience. No, no! Thank you for subscribing, fake audience. Goodbye.

They're fucking angry with You

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1,000,000 YouTube Subscribers (Web Exclusive): Last Week Tonight with John Oliver