- The main topic of the video is abortion laws in the United States
- The video highlights that opinions on abortion make up a spectrum, with most people believing it should be legal in at least a few circumstances
- Since 2010, new state laws have led to the closure of many abortion clinics, with some states having only one clinic left
- The key Supreme Court decision on abortion is now the 1992 Planned Parenthood versus Casey ruling, which allows states to create restrictions as long as they don't place an undue burden on women seeking abortions
- Many states have introduced trap laws or targeted regulation of abortion providers, which have been criticized for their impact on women's health
- Examples of these laws include requiring abortion clinics to meet the same building standards as outpatient surgical centers and requiring doctors to have hospital admitting privileges
- The video argues that these requirements are unnecessary and can lead to the closure of clinics and limit access to safe abortions
- The video also criticizes laws that force doctors to spread misinformation about the risks of abortion
- Some states have also passed laws requiring providers to show and describe ultrasound images to women, regardless of their preference
- The video concludes that these laws should concern everyone, regardless of their stance on abortion, as they impact access to safe and legal abortions.

- The piece discusses the impact of restrictive abortion laws in certain states in the US
- North Carolina tried to impose restrictions on women viewing ultrasounds, comparing it to watching a performance by John Travolta in the new O.J. Simpson show
- Some clinics are facing bureaucratic challenges due to these laws, such as a clinic in Alabama being shut down for not meeting building codes
- Despite facing challenges, the owner of the Alabama clinic opened a new facility that complied with the law, but is now being targeted by the state
- Mandatory waiting periods in 27 states are making it difficult for women to access abortions, forcing them to make multiple trips or desperate decisions
- The laws are making it increasingly difficult for women, including young victims of sexual assault, to access abortion services
- The Supreme Court will hear a case involving Whole Woman's Health, a provider in Texas, and a tie could result in the Texas laws standing
- Florida is drafting similar laws and Alabama is introducing a law that would close a clinic near a school
- The piece urges viewers to pay attention to these laws and criticizes those who do not have a problem with the current situation

Abortion is theoretically legal, but some states make it practically inaccessible.

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-♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ -♪ Our main story tonight concerns breast implants.

Some are against them, others believe they're fine in rare cases, and many believe you should be able to get them whenever the fuck you want.

And look, before you change the channel, before you change the channel, I know this is a polarizing topic.

Although, Interestingly, when the website Vox asked people in the street for their opinions, the issue wasn't quite as binary as it's usually presented.

If I had to pick, I would say that I'm pro-choice, but personally, I'm more on a...

I wouldn't, but I can't choose for other people.

For life, I think when a baby gets a heartbeat, that should be the cutoff point.

I'm not the kind of guy, like, I want everyone to follow my stance.

Okay, well, not needing anyone to follow your stance is a healthy attitude to abortion, and it's also a terrible attitude with which to lead the Rockettes.

The truth is, people's opinions on abortion make up a spectrum.

But most of us believe it should be legal in at least a few circumstances.

In fact, only 19% of Americans told Gallup they thought it should be completely illegal.

And if you are in that 19%, you are frankly excused from watching the rest of this.

But, but do rejoin us at 1129, because once I'm done talking about this, we'll all be watching a video featuring a bucket of sloths.

And I promise you, it is almost violently delightful.

But until that time, the rest of us really do need to talk about abortion laws.

Because wherever you are on this spectrum, whether you, like me, believe that women should have the right to choose, or whether you believe abortion should only be allowed in a few circumstances, then this story should concern you.

Since 2010, new state laws have contributed to the closure of about 70 abortion clinics, and these 4 states are down to exactly 1 abortion clinic each.

That's right, Mississippi now has 4 times as many S's as it has abortion clinics.

And if you're thinking, how is that possible?

Well, it's in no small part because the key Supreme Court decision concerning abortion is no longer Roe versus Wade.

It's the 1992 Planned Parenthood versus Casey ruling that said states can create restrictions as long as they don't place an undue burden that places a substantial obstacle in the path of a woman seeking an abortion.

Meaning women can be asked to jump through a few hoops, just not too many.

Which might sound a little less insulting if those weren't also the rules for a dog agility course.

-♪ ♪ -♪ And the vagueness of that ruling has allowed states to introduce dozens of what some have called trap laws, or targeted regulation of abortion providers.

Though their supporters, to an eerie degree, all characterize them somewhat differently.

This is really about, the issue of women's health.

We're protecting women's health and safety.

I just wanted to reiterate that this is really all about protecting the health and safety of women.

Yeah, but when you're that insistent about women's health, it starts to sound suspicious.

It's like having a folder on your computer called, -"Definitely Not Porn." -$DEFINITELY NOT PORN You're not fooling anyone.

You're asking more questions than you're answering.

So, let's take a look at what these laws actually do for women's health.

Starting with Texas' HB2, which passed in 2013 and had 2 key stipulations.

It requires abortion clinics to meet the same building standards as outpatient surgical centers and requires their doctors to have hospital admitting privileges.

Okay, now hospital admitting privileges and high building standards sound great, until you realize what they actually mean.

Sort of how moon dance sounds like a lovely night of romance and whimsy, but really means having sex with Van Morrison.

And that's not what you're signed up for.

Because the outpatient surgical center requirement can be difficult to fulfill, as this Texas clinic discovered.

Explain again why it's gonna be shut down, because this isn't wide enough?

Yeah, because right now the walls that we have, they're about 3 feet wide.

And to be an ASE, it has to be 8 feet wide.

Now, I'm not saying width isn't important.

In fact, in some circumstances, it's far more important than length...

But that eight-foot requirement is wide enough for 2 surgical gurneys to pass 1 another in a corridor, which is just not something that is likely to happen at a small abortion clinic.

About 90% of abortions occur in the first trimester, when they are generally non-surgical procedures with no cutting and only mild sedation.

They usually involve suction or just taking medication, neither of which require a large surgical facility.

You don't need an operating room to take a pill, which is a good thing because You wouldn't want an entire surgical team scrubbing in every time Larry King needed a boner.

And as for Texas's law, that doctors have admitting privileges at a local hospital, a requirement 10 other states have also passed, that can shut a clinic down.

Because many hospitals, for financial or political reasons, won't grant them to a doctor who performs abortions.

And again, defenders of these laws will say they have a simple purpose.

By requiring that abortionists obtain admitting privileges at local hospitals, we are protecting women's health.

Because it's worth noting both the AMA and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have argued there is simply no medical basis for requiring local admitting privileges, which does make sense, because hospitals will see anyone.

They'll see you if you've gotten an Elmo Pez dispenser stuck in your butt.

They'll have questions for you, but they will see you.

They'll see you, they'll question you, and later, they may laugh at you.

And while we are on the subject of safety, legal abortions have a mortality rate of .00073 percent.

That is nearly 10 times less than what 1 study found was the risk for dying as the result of a colonoscopy.

And let's agree, by the way, all of us, death by colonoscopy has to be 1 of the worst ways to die.

Right after having your mother catch you masturbating, and while you're trying to pull your pants up, you fall and hit your head, so your dad has to carry you pantsless to the car to take you to the hospital, and the girl next door you have a crush on tries to help, but she's laughing so hard at the size of your penis that she closes the door on your hand, startling your mother, who slams her foot on the gas, dragging you behind the car for several blocks, while your father yells your TV show is derivative and you'll never escape the shadow of Jon Stewart.

And look, if admitting privileges are so important for continuity of care, It is weird that you don't need them in Texas to run a birthing center, even though 1 study found that 12 percent of women admitted to birthing centers wound up being transferred to a hospital.

So Texas will shut down an abortion clinic for having walls too close together.

But if you wanna give birth in a tub surrounded by mood lighting, potpourri, and the music of Bon Iver, no 1 will say anything other than just take it down a notch.

-♪ ♪ -♪ And proponents of these laws will point to a few notorious cases, like the clinic run by Kermit Gosnell in Pennsylvania, who wound up being convicted of murder.

Although, for the record, his clinic had not been inspected for 17 years, which it absolutely should have been.

They didn't need new laws, so much as they needed to bother to enforce the ones they had.

Putting absurd new restrictions on all clinics because of Kermit Gosnell is like seeing that photo of a Taco Bell employee licking the food and saying, okay, all restaurants have to have corridors that are 8 feet wide.

Well, hold on, that's gonna shut down most of the restaurants in the country, and you've done nothing to address the root problem here.

And some of these laws have nothing whatsoever to do with clinic safety.

Like the ones that force doctors like Willie Parker to actively spread misinformation.

The state requires me to cover some very basic information with you.

First, the state requires me to tell you that if you're having an abortion, there's the possibility of having complications.

There's a risk of bleeding, there's a risk of infection, there's a risk of damage to any of your organs.

Those are all the exact same risks from continuing a pregnancy and going to term.

The final thing that I have to tell you that I don't agree with, but I have to tell you anyway, having an abortion can increase your risk for breast cancer.

There's not a shred of scientific evidence to prove that.

They can require me to tell you, the first part, but they can't stop me from giving you my best medical opinion, and that is that there's no increased risk for breast cancer from an abortion.

It must be weird for a woman to witness her medical professional forced to play a game of good doctor, bad doctor.

Well, there's not a shred of scientific evidence to prove that.

-♪ ♪ -In addition, some states have passed laws requiring providers to show and describe an ultrasound image, whether a woman wants to see that or not.

And when North Carolina was defending such a law, this was how they attempted to soften that.

The proposed law says, if a woman wishes not to see the ultrasound or hear the futile heartbeat, she may cover her ears and eyes and refuse to listen.

So, North Carolina tried to give women viewing ultrasounds the same option as women trying to watch John Travolta's performance in the new O.J.

Oh, does he think Robert Shapiro was a sad clown in a Baz Luhrmann movie.

And some other clinics enter into a bureaucratic war as a result of these laws.

It was shut down after not being able to meet the new building codes Alabama had forced upon it.

But instead of giving up, the owner cashed in his retirement savings to open a new facility that complied completely with the law.

And that is when Alabama started targeting him directly.

I've spent close to a million dollars to meet all of their requirements.

And you think you're done, and what are they trying to do?

They're trying to pass another bill that said I can't be in 2,000 feet of a school.

They're treating me, the patients, the physicians, as sex offenders.

They're treating someone like a sex offender when he clearly isn't 1.

It's a move that's now commonly known as a reverse Cosby.

If you're thinking, that, John, when a clinic closes, can't women just travel further, you should know there are now mandatory waiting periods in 27 states, some up to 72 hours between an initial consult and an abortion.

So women can be forced to either take multiple trips or plan the shittiest three-day weekend imaginable.

And if that's not possible, they can end up making desperate decisions.

Listen to 1 clinic administrator describe a call from a patient?

I told her, you can come to San Antonio, we can help you here, and she said, I can't, I don't have the means, there is no way I can get to San Antonio.

So, what if I tell you what I have in my kitchen cabinet, and you tell me what I can do.

I'll tell you what I have in my kitchen cabinet and you can tell me what I can do.

When your state's abortion laws are forcing people into the most depressing quick-fire challenge in Top Chef history, I think it's safe to say they've gone too fucking far.

Because here is the thing, abortion cannot just be theoretically legal, it has to be literally accessible.

And remember, every single 1 of us watching this right now, Every single 1 of us watching right now agrees that it should be legal, at the very least, in a few extreme circumstances.

Say, hypothetically, a young girl has been the victim of sexual assault.

Well, thanks to these laws, this hypothetical girl might have to travel a long distance because there were no clinics close to her.

And again, thanks to these laws, the girl might be approaching the point where her state won't let her get the procedure at all.

Well, sadly, none of that is hypothetical, and I'll let a Texas clinic director tell you the rest.

And in order to do that, I need a nurse anesthetist.

And because of this crazy law, it is impossible to find people to work for us.

She's 13 years old, and she is a victim of rape.

And she drove 4 hours from McAllen to San Antonio, and we had to turn her away.

And there was nothing I could do to save her.

And so now, if she has a procedure, and that if is huge, she'll have to go all the way to New Mexico and pay $5,000 and get there and spend 3 days.

And at that point, we have sentenced a child to motherhood.

Now, that specific provider, Whole Woman's Health, is actually at the center of a Supreme Court case that will be heard next month.

So the best hope is that Justice Kennedy, seen here in dog form, straightening his tie, will see Texas' regulation as an undue burden.

This whole situation is basically in his paws now.

-♪ ♪ -♪ Meanwhile, Florida is drafting similar trap laws, and the law in Alabama that would close that 1 clinic near a school will be introduced to committee later this week.

And if all this has made you sad or angry, then you should really keep an eye on these laws.

And if you don't have a problem with the current situation, then, well, it is 1129.

I promised everyone sloths in a bucket, and that is what you are going to see.

Although, if you are in that 19%, I'm gonna have to insist that you cover your ears and eyes and refuse to listen.

Now, look, I know, I know this story has not been the ideal way for anyone to go to sleep on a Sunday night, but we thought that this was something you should really know about.

And the only way that I can make it right is to give you the absolutely ideal way to go to sleep, an actual sloth in a nightcap.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ -♪ Our main story tonight concerns breast implants. Some are against them, others believe they're fine in rare cases, and many believe you should be able to get them whenever the fuck you want. Sorry, did I say breast implants? I meant abortions. Tonight's main topic concerns abortions.

And look, before you change the channel, before you change the channel, I know this is a polarizing topic. Although, Interestingly, when the website Vox asked people in the street for their opinions, the issue wasn't quite as binary as it's usually presented.

Speaker 1: If I had to pick, I would say that I'm pro-choice, but personally, I'm more on a... On a... Somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't, but I can't choose for other people. I'm pretty caught up.

For life, I think when a baby gets a heartbeat, that should be the cutoff point. That's just my stance. I'm not the kind of guy, like, I want everyone to follow my stance.

Speaker 0: Okay, well, not needing anyone to follow your stance is a healthy attitude to abortion, and it's also a terrible attitude with which to lead the Rockettes. You do you, Bethany. You do you, girl. You do you. The truth is, people's opinions on abortion make up a spectrum.

But most of us believe it should be legal in at least a few circumstances. In fact, only 19% of Americans told Gallup they thought it should be completely illegal. And if you are in that 19%, you are frankly excused from watching the rest of this. But, but do rejoin us at 1129, because once I'm done talking about this, we'll all be watching a video featuring a bucket of sloths. And I promise you, it is almost violently delightful.

But until that time, the rest of us really do need to talk about abortion laws. Because wherever you are on this spectrum, whether you, like me, believe that women should have the right to choose, or whether you believe abortion should only be allowed in a few circumstances, then this story should concern you. And here is why. Since 2010, new state laws have contributed to the closure of about 70 abortion clinics, and these 4 states are down to exactly 1 abortion clinic each. That's right, Mississippi now has 4 times as many S's as it has abortion clinics.

And if you're thinking, how is that possible? Well, it's in no small part because the key Supreme Court decision concerning abortion is no longer Roe versus Wade. It's the 1992 Planned Parenthood versus Casey ruling that said states can create restrictions as long as they don't place an undue burden that places a substantial obstacle in the path of a woman seeking an abortion. Meaning women can be asked to jump through a few hoops, just not too many. Which might sound a little less insulting if those weren't also the rules for a dog agility course.

-♪ ♪ -♪ And the vagueness of that ruling has allowed states to introduce dozens of what some have called trap laws, or targeted regulation of abortion providers. Though their supporters, to an eerie degree, all characterize them somewhat differently.

Speaker 2: This is really about, the issue of women's health.

Speaker 3: We're protecting women's health and safety.

Speaker 2: We are protecting women's health.

Speaker 3: I just wanted to reiterate that this is really all about protecting the health and safety of women.

Speaker 0: Yeah, but when you're that insistent about women's health, it starts to sound suspicious. It's like having a folder on your computer called, -"Definitely Not Porn." -$DEFINITELY NOT PORN You're not fooling anyone. You're asking more questions than you're answering. So, let's take a look at what these laws actually do for women's health. Starting with Texas' HB2, which passed in 2013 and had 2 key stipulations.

Speaker 2: It requires abortion clinics to meet the same building standards as outpatient surgical centers and requires their doctors to have hospital admitting privileges.

Speaker 0: Okay, now hospital admitting privileges and high building standards sound great, until you realize what they actually mean. Sort of how moon dance sounds like a lovely night of romance and whimsy, but really means having sex with Van Morrison. And that's not what you're signed up for. Because the outpatient surgical center requirement can be difficult to fulfill, as this Texas clinic discovered.

Speaker 3: Explain again why it's gonna be shut down, because this isn't wide enough? Yeah, because right now the walls that we have, they're about 3 feet wide. And to be an ASE, it has to be 8 feet wide.

Speaker 0: Now, I'm not saying width isn't important. In fact, in some circumstances, it's far more important than length... -..is a thing that I have heard. -$TIME OUT Penises? I'm talking about penises.

But that eight-foot requirement is wide enough for 2 surgical gurneys to pass 1 another in a corridor, which is just not something that is likely to happen at a small abortion clinic. About 90% of abortions occur in the first trimester, when they are generally non-surgical procedures with no cutting and only mild sedation. They usually involve suction or just taking medication, neither of which require a large surgical facility. You don't need an operating room to take a pill, which is a good thing because You wouldn't want an entire surgical team scrubbing in every time Larry King needed a boner. They'll get tired.

And as for Texas's law, that doctors have admitting privileges at a local hospital, a requirement 10 other states have also passed, that can shut a clinic down. Because many hospitals, for financial or political reasons, won't grant them to a doctor who performs abortions. And again, defenders of these laws will say they have a simple purpose.

Speaker 2: By requiring that abortionists obtain admitting privileges at local hospitals, we are protecting women's health.

Speaker 0: Yeah, but are you, though? Because it's worth noting both the AMA and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have argued there is simply no medical basis for requiring local admitting privileges, which does make sense, because hospitals will see anyone. They'll see you if you've gotten an Elmo Pez dispenser stuck in your butt. They'll have questions for you, but they will see you. They'll see you, they'll question you, and later, they may laugh at you.

And while we are on the subject of safety, legal abortions have a mortality rate of .00073 percent. That is nearly 10 times less than what 1 study found was the risk for dying as the result of a colonoscopy. And let's agree, by the way, all of us, death by colonoscopy has to be 1 of the worst ways to die. Right after having your mother catch you masturbating, and while you're trying to pull your pants up, you fall and hit your head, so your dad has to carry you pantsless to the car to take you to the hospital, and the girl next door you have a crush on tries to help, but she's laughing so hard at the size of your penis that she closes the door on your hand, startling your mother, who slams her foot on the gas, dragging you behind the car for several blocks, while your father yells your TV show is derivative and you'll never escape the shadow of Jon Stewart. That's...

That's what we're all... That's what we're all afraid of, right? That's what we're all pretty afraid of. That's a general fear. And look, if admitting privileges are so important for continuity of care, It is weird that you don't need them in Texas to run a birthing center, even though 1 study found that 12 percent of women admitted to birthing centers wound up being transferred to a hospital.

So Texas will shut down an abortion clinic for having walls too close together. But if you wanna give birth in a tub surrounded by mood lighting, potpourri, and the music of Bon Iver, no 1 will say anything other than just take it down a notch. -♪ ♪ -♪ And proponents of these laws will point to a few notorious cases, like the clinic run by Kermit Gosnell in Pennsylvania, who wound up being convicted of murder. Although, for the record, his clinic had not been inspected for 17 years, which it absolutely should have been. They didn't need new laws, so much as they needed to bother to enforce the ones they had.

Putting absurd new restrictions on all clinics because of Kermit Gosnell is like seeing that photo of a Taco Bell employee licking the food and saying, okay, all restaurants have to have corridors that are 8 feet wide. Well, hold on, that's gonna shut down most of the restaurants in the country, and you've done nothing to address the root problem here. And some of these laws have nothing whatsoever to do with clinic safety. Like the ones that force doctors like Willie Parker to actively spread misinformation.

Speaker 4: The state requires me to cover some very basic information with you. First, the state requires me to tell you that if you're having an abortion, there's the possibility of having complications. There's a risk of bleeding, there's a risk of infection, there's a risk of damage to any of your organs. But guess what? Those are all the exact same risks from continuing a pregnancy and going to term.

The final thing that I have to tell you that I don't agree with, but I have to tell you anyway, having an abortion can increase your risk for breast cancer. There's not a shred of scientific evidence to prove that. They can require me to tell you, the first part, but they can't stop me from giving you my best medical opinion, and that is that there's no increased risk for breast cancer from an abortion. -...it

Speaker 0: must be so weird. -...It must be so weird. It must be... It must be weird for a woman to witness her medical professional forced to play a game of good doctor, bad doctor. Okay, time for your tetanus booster.

No, those cause autism. Well, there's not a shred of scientific evidence to prove that. Bad doctor! Bad, bad doctor! -♪ ♪ -In addition, some states have passed laws requiring providers to show and describe an ultrasound image, whether a woman wants to see that or not.

And when North Carolina was defending such a law, this was how they attempted to soften that.

Speaker 5: The proposed law says, if a woman wishes not to see the ultrasound or hear the futile heartbeat, she may cover her ears and eyes and refuse to listen.

Speaker 0: Oh, great. So, North Carolina tried to give women viewing ultrasounds the same option as women trying to watch John Travolta's performance in the new O.J. Simpson show. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

What is he doing? Oh, does he think Robert Shapiro was a sad clown in a Baz Luhrmann movie. I didn't want to watch this. Why are you making me? And some other clinics enter into a bureaucratic war as a result of these laws.

Take this clinic in Alabama. It was shut down after not being able to meet the new building codes Alabama had forced upon it. But instead of giving up, the owner cashed in his retirement savings to open a new facility that complied completely with the law. And that is when Alabama started targeting him directly.

Speaker 6: I've spent close to a million dollars to meet all of their requirements. And you think you're done, and what are they trying to do? They're trying to pass another bill that said I can't be in 2,000 feet of a school. They're treating me, the patients, the physicians, as sex offenders.

Speaker 0: They're treating someone like a sex offender when he clearly isn't 1. It's a move that's now commonly known as a reverse Cosby. And... And look... And look, if you are thinking...

If you're thinking, that, John, when a clinic closes, can't women just travel further, you should know there are now mandatory waiting periods in 27 states, some up to 72 hours between an initial consult and an abortion. So women can be forced to either take multiple trips or plan the shittiest three-day weekend imaginable. And if that's not possible, they can end up making desperate decisions. Listen to 1 clinic administrator describe a call from a patient?

Speaker 3: I told her, you can come to San Antonio, we can help you here, and she said, I can't, I don't have the means, there is no way I can get to San Antonio. So, what if I tell you what I have in my kitchen cabinet, and you tell me what I can do.

Speaker 0: I'll tell you what I have in my kitchen cabinet and you can tell me what I can do. When your state's abortion laws are forcing people into the most depressing quick-fire challenge in Top Chef history, I think it's safe to say they've gone too fucking far. Because here is the thing, abortion cannot just be theoretically legal, it has to be literally accessible. And remember, every single 1 of us watching this right now, Every single 1 of us watching right now agrees that it should be legal, at the very least, in a few extreme circumstances. Say, hypothetically, a young girl has been the victim of sexual assault.

Well, thanks to these laws, this hypothetical girl might have to travel a long distance because there were no clinics close to her. And again, thanks to these laws, the girl might be approaching the point where her state won't let her get the procedure at all. Well, sadly, none of that is hypothetical, and I'll let a Texas clinic director tell you the rest.

Speaker 7: In order to see her, I need to put her

Speaker 0: to sleep.

Speaker 7: And in order to do that, I need a nurse anesthetist. And because of this crazy law, it is impossible to find people to work for us. She's 13 years old, and she is a victim of rape. And she drove 4 hours from McAllen to San Antonio, and we had to turn her away. And there was nothing I could do to save her.

And so now, if she has a procedure, and that if is huge, she'll have to go all the way to New Mexico and pay $5,000 and get there and spend 3 days. It'll never happen. We know it won't.

Speaker 0: And at that point, we have sentenced a child to motherhood. Now, that specific provider, Whole Woman's Health, is actually at the center of a Supreme Court case that will be heard next month. If it's a 4-4 tie, the Texas laws stand. So the best hope is that Justice Kennedy, seen here in dog form, straightening his tie, will see Texas' regulation as an undue burden. This whole situation is basically in his paws now.

-♪ ♪ -♪ Meanwhile, Florida is drafting similar trap laws, and the law in Alabama that would close that 1 clinic near a school will be introduced to committee later this week. And if all this has made you sad or angry, then you should really keep an eye on these laws. And if you don't have a problem with the current situation, then, well, it is 1129. Welcome back. Thanks for rejoining us, 19%.

Quick question. What the fuck is wrong with you? But, no, no, no, no. You know what? You know what?

Putting that aside. I did promise. I made a promise. I promised everyone sloths in a bucket, and that is what you are going to see. Although, if you are in that 19%, I'm gonna have to insist that you cover your ears and eyes and refuse to listen.

For everyone else, it is sloth o'clock. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ What else? It is Sloth O'Clock. APPLAUSE MUSIC You are very welcome. Now, look, I know, I know this story has not been the ideal way for anyone to go to sleep on a Sunday night, but we thought that this was something you should really know about.

And the only way that I can make it right is to give you the absolutely ideal way to go to sleep, an actual sloth in a nightcap. Here she is. Thank you so much for watching the show. Good night. There you go.

Good girl. Good girl.

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Abortion Laws: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)