- International Women's Day was celebrated around the world with varying degrees of success
- Vladimir Putin's message to women was criticized for perpetuating double standards
- Recep Erdogan's statement that women are above all mothers was deemed inappropriate
- A shopping mall in China offered discounts to good-looking women based on facial appearance
- Greta Van Susteren praised American men on International Women's Day, which was seen as ironic and inappropriate

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International Women's Day, the day that men with girlfriends wake up, see the words, International Women's Day trending on Facebook and suddenly wonder, -"Shit, do I have to do something right now?" -$20,000.

It took place on Tuesday, and around the world, countries celebrated with varying degrees of success.

For instance, In Russia, where it's observed as a public holiday, Vladimir Putin went on TV with a message for women.

Dear women, I wholeheartedly congratulate you on International Women's Day.

Manage a great load of issues and stay gentle, bright and charming.

First of all, it's a little strange to hear a warm message from a man who looks like he's perpetually crushing a baby bird in his fist.

And second, if he's trying to be progressive, he's failing here because managing a great load of issues while staying gentle and charming is exactly the double standard that women are constantly trying to overcome.

Yes, women, it is great to see you're so confident, capable, and career-focused, and sometimes you're not even a shrill bitch about it.

Meanwhile, in Turkey, President Recep Erdogan used his Women's Day speech to make a point you might not expect.

I know there will be some who will be annoyed, but for me, a woman is above all, a mother.

In my opinion, the greatest wrong that you can do to a woman is to restrict her to live a life where she is the victim of her economic independence.

Okay, first, a woman is above all a mother.

It's not even appropriate to say, on Mother's Day.

And also, economic independence is far from the greatest wrong you can do to a woman.

There is a list that runs from genital mutilation through Nancy Meyers movies that you need to get through first.

Now, as for China, a shopping mall there offered discounts in honor of Women's Day, but only to good-looking women after their facial appearances were scored by a face scanner.

And I'll say this, it's not often you hear a news story that appears to have taken place simultaneously in the distant future and the distant past.

But it is amazing that Somewhere in China, a TJ Maxx manager will have uttered the phrase, sorry, the robot doesn't want to fuck you, those capri pants are full price.

And at this point, you will be glad to know that here in the U.S., women marked their own day.

For instance, Fox News' Greta Van Susteren delivered a commentary in honor of the event.

And let me just tell you in advance, if you think you know where this is going, you are wrong.

Taliban won't let women listen to music, go to school, or leave the house without being covered head to toe in a burqa.

Women around the world living under Sharia law endure the unthinkable simply for being women.

On this International Women's Day Eve, it'd be a good time for us women to recognize that American men, let's give American men a shout-out.

Yes, Greta Van Zostrand marked International Women's Day with a shout-out to American men for being better than the Taliban.

I didn't even know this was possible, But I'm pretty sure she just leaned out.

For instance, we still don't have equal pay for equal work, but American men are by far, very by far, the best men on the planet.

And we American women, we may not say it, but we know that.

And American men deserve to hear that from us.

You know, there may be no more fitting tribute to the state of women internationally than someone giving men credit for doing basically nothing.


Speaker 0: International Women's Day, the day that men with girlfriends wake up, see the words, International Women's Day trending on Facebook and suddenly wonder, -"Shit, do I have to do something right now?" -$20,000. -$20,000. It took place on Tuesday, and around the world, countries celebrated with varying degrees of success. For instance, In Russia, where it's observed as a public holiday, Vladimir Putin went on TV with a message for women.

Speaker 1: Dear women, I wholeheartedly congratulate you on International Women's Day. You have time for everything. Manage a great load of issues and stay gentle, bright and charming.

Speaker 0: Okay. Okay. First of all, it's a little strange to hear a warm message from a man who looks like he's perpetually crushing a baby bird in his fist. And second, if he's trying to be progressive, he's failing here because managing a great load of issues while staying gentle and charming is exactly the double standard that women are constantly trying to overcome. Yes, women, it is great to see you're so confident, capable, and career-focused, and sometimes you're not even a shrill bitch about it.

It's very nice. Meanwhile, in Turkey, President Recep Erdogan used his Women's Day speech to make a point you might not expect.

Speaker 2: I know there will be some who will be annoyed, but for me, a woman is above all, a mother. In my opinion, the greatest wrong that you can do to a woman is to restrict her to live a life where she is the victim of her economic independence.

Speaker 0: Okay, okay. Okay, first, a woman is above all a mother. It's not even appropriate to say, on Mother's Day. And also, economic independence is far from the greatest wrong you can do to a woman. There is a list that runs from genital mutilation through Nancy Meyers movies that you need to get through first.

Now, as for China, a shopping mall there offered discounts in honor of Women's Day, but only to good-looking women after their facial appearances were scored by a face scanner. And I'll say this, it's not often you hear a news story that appears to have taken place simultaneously in the distant future and the distant past. But it is amazing that Somewhere in China, a TJ Maxx manager will have uttered the phrase, sorry, the robot doesn't want to fuck you, those capri pants are full price. And at this point, you will be glad to know that here in the U.S., women marked their own day. For instance, Fox News' Greta Van Susteren delivered a commentary in honor of the event.

And let me just tell you in advance, if you think you know where this is going, you are wrong. -...the

Speaker 3: Taliban won't let women listen to music, go to school, or leave the house without being covered head to toe in a burqa. Women around the world living under Sharia law endure the unthinkable simply for being women. Which brings me to this. On this International Women's Day Eve, it'd be a good time for us women to recognize that American men, let's give American men a shout-out.

Speaker 0: -... -... Yes, Greta Van Zostrand marked International Women's Day with a shout-out to American men for being better than the Taliban. I didn't even know... I didn't even know this was possible, But I'm pretty sure she just leaned out.

And... And she wasn't even done.

Speaker 3: Things aren't perfect. For instance, we still don't have equal pay for equal work, but American men are by far, very by far, the best men on the planet. And we American women, we may not say it, but we know that. And American men deserve to hear that from us.

Speaker 0: You know, there may be no more fitting tribute to the state of women internationally than someone giving men credit for doing basically nothing. Thank you.

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International Women's Day: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)