- The piece discusses Donald Trump's relationship with the world and his foreign policy.
- It highlights Trump's derogatory remarks about Africa, Haiti, and El Salvador, and the response from the countries he insulted.
- The piece mentions other instances where Trump's remarks caused international uproar, such as his claim about Korea being part of China and retweeting anti-Muslim videos.
- It emphasizes that the rest of the world continues to exist whether Trump acknowledges it or not.
- Trump's foreign policy is described as "America first," but the piece questions when has America's attitude not been "America first."
- The piece mentions the decline in the world's approval rating of U.S. leadership since Trump became president.
- It discusses the importance of soft power and diplomacy, which Trump has shown little interest in.
- The piece highlights the vacancies and controversial appointments of ambassadors under Trump.
- Trump claims that he is the only one that matters in foreign policy decisions, which raises concerns about his approach to the world.
- Overall, the piece portrays Trump's approach to the world as a disaster.

- The video highlights President Trump's behavior during a series of meetings with European leaders.
- Trump made negative comments about Germany, had an aggressive handshake with Macron, and failed to reaffirm NATO's Article 5.
- Angela Merkel expressed concerns about relying on others and called for Europe to take control of its own fate.
- The consequences of Trump's behavior could create a leadership vacuum, with China potentially benefiting.
- Trump's actions may make it harder for him to achieve his goals and gain support from allies.
- The video also mentions world leaders mocking Trump and highlights the contradictions and complexities of America.

America's reputation is being damaged by its own president. John Oliver, several dinosaurs, and the NYC Gay Men's Chorus remind the world that our country is...complicated.

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-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Donald Trump, the only president who combines the sordid extramarital affairs of a young JFK with the dead-eyed puffiness of a post-Watergate Richard Nixon.

And look, I know we have talked about Trump a lot on this show, but tonight we'd like to do it from a slightly different angle, and that is focusing on his relationship with the world.

Because while we were away, you may remember 1 particular remark he made.

Except, to be fair to him, it's actually worse, because he reportedly called Africa, Haiti, and El Salvador shitholes, which is just not okay.

And I do acknowledge that I personally have called Belgium a shithole multiple times, but In my defense, A, I'm not president, and B, Belgium is a loathsome chocolate gulag with no objective reason to exist.

And look, you probably saw people on U.S.

TV being justifiably appalled by those remarks, But what you may not have seen is the response from the countries he insulted.

These countries, like, has he ever been to this country and call it a...

Because it doesn't matter what you have, he's still going to the same hole where the same worms will eat him, too.

You know, it says something about the Trump era that the phrase, the same worms will eat him, too, actually qualifies as a hopeful thought.

I would honestly like that crocheted on a pillow so I can wake up to it every morning.

And look, look, it is not like that's the only time that Trump's remarks have caused an international uproar.

He said that Korea used to be part of China, which outraged South Koreans.

He claimed that Germany owes NATO vast sums of money, which it does not.

And in the UK, he retweeted these anti-Muslim videos from a far-right British group, which triggered massive condemnation.

And instead of fully apologizing for it, he said, it was a big story where you are, but it was not a big story where I am.

If it wasn't big where I could see it, then it wasn't big.

So forget mastering foreign affairs, Trump may not have mastered object permanence, which you really need to be a good president or even a good fucking baby.

The rest of the world continues to exist whether Trump acknowledges it or not.

So tonight, let's try and answer a few basic questions.

First, what is Donald Trump's foreign policy?

Because it seems to be little more than repeating a single phrase.

Now, if you are another country watching that, you may well be wondering, wait, when has America's attitude ever not been America first?

They've been putting America first since the day they arrived in America, very much second.

To hear Donald Trump tell it, in recent years, we've been getting the short end of the stick.

On the campaign trail, he often complained that America had become a global punchline, and promised that he could reverse that.

They're laughing at this, at what's going on in our country.

We're not gonna be a laughing stock like we have been, and we have been, believe me.

Oh, we're not going to be a laughing stock anymore, huh?

It is insane that Trump, this guy, this guy, this guy, thought he would end the laughter.

It's like a flamingo in boxer shorts named Phineas J.

Rocket Dump ran for president under the slogan, Time to Get Serious.

Now, for the record, since Trump became president, if anything, the world is laughing harder than ever before.

Presidents do get made fun of, impersonating Trump has become an international cottage industry.

Israel has Trump kicking a Muslim man while dancing lewdly to Guns N' roses.

Spain has him flipping off the world and again, dancing like an idiot.

Here's a pretty shitty 1 from Turkey where they're not even trying.

Here's a Korean Trump, and here's 1 from an Italian comedy show singing Born in the USA on a Stealth Fighter before being taken out with a bucket on his head.

Somehow the world's most objectively laughable human has become a comedy graveyard where laughter goes to die.

And in case you think any of that may have been good-natured ribbing, A recent Gallup poll shows that the world's approval rating of U.S.

Leadership has dropped to 30 percent after being at nearly 50 percent just 2 years ago.

That is a precipitous drop in popularity.

It's the equivalent of replacing Gal Gadot in the Wonder Woman franchise with Matt Lauer.

And look, I know, I know that Donald Trump and others may not give a shit about what the world thinks about us, but they really should for a number of reasons.

Chief among them, something called soft power, which yes, I acknowledge, does sound like an erectile dysfunction medication for chinchillas.

But basically, basically it refers to the ability to get others to do what you want them to do without using carrots or sticks.

And a nation's soft power can come from many sources, from your pop culture, to the ideals you express, to your reputation.

And diplomacy can play a major part in it.

Even hard power practitioners, like Trump's own Secretary of Defense, Jim Mad Dog Mattis, supports the soft power work that's done by the State Department.

That is why a few years back, he gave a full-throated defense of properly funding it.

Frankly, they need to be as fully funded as Congress believes appropriate.

Because if you don't fund the State Department fully, then I need to buy more ammunition, ultimately.

Because buy more ammunition is his way of saying, without diplomacy, there will be more wars.

He doesn't need more ammunition so he can make more bullet earrings for his Epsi store, because he's not just Secretary of Defense, he also crafts accessories for the elegant weirdo.

-♪ ♪ -♪ Now, Unfortunately, though, Trump has shown little interest in soft power.

His administration recently proposed a 29% cut to the State Department and foreign aid.

And there are many high-level vacancies at the State Department to say nothing of our lack of ambassadors.

From Belgium to Belize, South Korea to South Africa, President Trump has a problem.

Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, Qatar, and Saudi Arabia, all without ambassadors.

Those are countries where you really need an ambassador.

It's not like Liechtenstein, where you can basically scrape by with a sign that says, -"Never stop Liechtensteining." -$1,000,000.

And as for the ambassadors that Trump has appointed, some of them are frankly not great.

When Trump appointed Piet Hoekstra, ambassador to the Netherlands, they were a little upset over there, as this interview shows.

Speaking of threat, at 1 point, you mentioned in a debate...

That there are no-go zones in the Netherlands, and that cars and politicians are being set on fire

So he's given himself some wiggle room there, as long as he didn't say exactly what the reporter just claimed about no-go zones and politicians being set on fire.

The only thing in the whole world that would make him not correct is if it's a video of him saying that cars and politicians are being burned and that, yes, there are no-go zones in the Netherlands.

There are cars being burned, there are politicians that are being burned, and yes, there are no-go zones in the Netherlands.

It's pretty weird not to recall saying out loud, there are politicians that are being burned in the Netherlands.

It's not the kind of thing that you do and immediately forget about, like driving to work or seeing the movie The Post.

I mean, I have a vague memory of walking into a darkened room, eating milk duds, and thinking Meryl Streep is a treasure, but the rest is a complete blank.

When Trump was asked about his understaffed State Department, he claimed that it didn't really matter for 1 key reason.

Let me tell you, the 1 that matters is me.

I'm the only 1 that matters, because when it comes to it, that's what the policy is going to be.

I'm the only 1 that matters, the only 1 that matters is me.

It's hard to tell if Donald Trump is laying out a diplomatic strategy, or demanding that Daddy buy him an oompa-loompa now!

If Trump is the only 1 that matters, then his actions are critical to our nation's foreign policy.

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

-♪♪ In fact, to give you a sense of how much damage he can do in very little ti...

a sense of how much damage he can do in very little time.

Just look at last summer's back-to-back NATO and G7 summit.

It was just 3 days of meetings, in which time he reportedly told European leaders that, quote, the Germans are bad, very bad.

Then shook Emmanuel Macron's hand so aggressively, it seemed like he was trying to masturbate an elephant.

-...- Then, at the G7 conference the next day, world leaders unsuccessfully tried to convince him to stay in the Paris Climate Accord, and in the middle of all of that, he gave a speech where he failed to explicitly reaffirm Article 5, the basic principle that NATO members should come to the aid of each other when attacked.

Affirming it is routine for presidents, and it was even in Trump's speech until being apparently deleted at the very last minute, blindsiding top members of his own national security team.

And after witnessing Trump's erratic behavior for just 3 days, Angela Merkel was so shell-shocked, she made this statement.

The times when we could completely rely on others are, to an extent, over.

I've experienced this in the last few days, and that's why we Europeans must really take our fate into our own hands.

Merkel wasn't even supposed to give a major speech.

That was at a campaign event held in a beer tent.

And that means we're probably lucky there was an event of any kind, otherwise she would have just yelled out, Europe is on its own at her nephew's piano recital.

And this brings us to our final question.

Well, 1 big 1 of them could be that there is a leadership vacuum in the world.

Well, In Europe, the obvious candidate is Germany.

But even they know that there may be an issue with that.

Whenever I talk to people in our neighbor countries, they mostly expect it sort of the leadership of Germany.

But on the other side, whenever I talk to the People in these countries with a very good memory what happened in the first half of the 20th century, they are very reluctant talking about German leadership.

I'm so glad that you brought that up, because I didn't want to be the first 1 to bring it up, but you are absolutely right.

When people hear, Germany wants to take a leading role in Europe, most of us do still think, no, they're still in timeout and they know why.

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Now, globally, it seems that China is set to be the biggest beneficiary, because they have been aggressively seeking to increase their influence in soft power, something that has not gone unnoticed.

An Asian head of government recently explained to me that at every regional conference, Washington sends a couple of diplomats, whereas Beijing sends dozens.

The Chinese are there at every committee meeting, and you are not, he said.

The result, he explained, is that Beijing is increasingly setting the Asian agenda.

Is absent at many important meetings, and that doesn't even include meetings that Jared Kushner was supposed to attend, but he couldn't find the room, and he was too shy to ask someone, and then he realized it was too late anyway, so he just killed an hour wandering around the lobby pretending to be on the phone.

China's increased influence should be alarming because they are an autocratic country.

You don't necessarily want China setting global priorities on things like human rights and democracy.

And yet, Trump's reckless behavior is opening the door to exactly that happening.

Not to mention the fact that what he's doing is going to make it harder for him to accomplish his own goals.

Well, to do that, you might want to appoint an ambassador to South Korea.

He wants Germany to spend more on its military?

Okay, but maybe stop publicly shaming Merkel if you want her to be able to sell that idea back home.

And if he wants to contain security threats like ISIS and al-Shabaab in African countries, then maybe don't call African countries fucking shitholes!

Trump can say that he doesn't care because his approach is America first, but you need allies to get anything done.

If you loudly announce that you will always come first, you're going to have trouble finding partners.

And as for Trump's other promise, that the world will stop laughing, it is not just comedians doing that, it's world leaders.

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was at a press dinner last year, and he had himself a bit of fun.

Donald and I, we are winning and winning in the polls.

That is a key ally, using the fact that our president is a pathological liar as a punchline, and crushing that room like a fourth grader with a carrot stick stuck up his nose.

And if you think that was grim, let me show you 1 more clip we found when we were looking for Trump impersonators around the world.

This 1 is from Russian TV, with a comedian making fun of Trump's suspiciously close relationship to Putin.

And there is a fun little surprise for you, just at the end.

The other day, Hillary asked me, Donald, Do you love Russia?

I guess at least we now know what type of humor that Putin likes.

He likes the kind where he meddles in another country's election, succeeds, has a joke about it made to his face in public, and then realizes it all worked out and no 1 can touch him.

That's the kind of humor that Putin likes.

Look, I know that all of this is depressing, because it seems like America's reputation overseas is under attack from its own president, which is just ridiculous.

It is the 1 thing that Trump is supposed to be good at, and he's fucking blowing it.

So as an immigrant, who has fallen in love with this country, for what it's worth, please allow me to speak to the rest of the world in America's defense for a moment, because Donald Trump does not reflect America.

But, the point is, America is not 1 thing.

It's a beautiful mess of contradictions where good and bad are mixed together.

On 1 hand, it makes Mountain Dew, which tastes like a honeydew melon was fucked by a radioactive clown.

-♪ ♪ -♪ On the other hand, it also made this awesome bed shaped like the Batmobile.

You can fall asleep in that thing and be Batman if Batman somehow got locked out of the Batcave and had to sleep in his car.

But that's the American dream right there.

America is the country that came up with YouTube, which yes, I know, gave you in the world that shithead Logan Paul.

But It also gave you those videos of adults in T-Rex suits on dirt bikes, ballet dancing, exercising, and doing basic car repairs.

And by the way, that magnificent dinosaur costume, that's an American idea too.

The point is, America is the country that gave you Star Wars, you're welcome, and Scientology, we're sorry about that.

And sometimes what's great and terrible about us is just impossible to separate.

It's objectively disgusting, but I would run across traffic to eat this shit.

The point is, Trump is the worst of us, yes, but he's not all of us.

If I had to distill America down to 1 sound, it wouldn't be the braying voice of Donald Trump screaming, America first.

It would be the gorgeous voices of the New York City gay men's chorus singing this song.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

A terrible, stupid song being sung absolutely beautifully.

And so please, world, for the next 3 or 7 or somehow 11 years.

but it's also the country of people profoundly embarrassed by it and the country that brought you inflatable dinosaur costumes and fucking Batman beds!


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Donald Trump, the only president who combines the sordid extramarital affairs of a young JFK with the dead-eyed puffiness of a post-Watergate Richard Nixon. And look, I know we have talked about Trump a lot on this show, but tonight we'd like to do it from a slightly different angle, and that is focusing on his relationship with the world. Because while we were away, you may remember 1 particular remark he made.

Speaker 1: According to the U.S. President, Africa is a shithole.

Speaker 0: That's right. He said that. He absolutely said that. Except, to be fair to him, it's actually worse, because he reportedly called Africa, Haiti, and El Salvador shitholes, which is just not okay. And I do acknowledge that I personally have called Belgium a shithole multiple times, but In my defense, A, I'm not president, and B, Belgium is a loathsome chocolate gulag with no objective reason to exist.

So you can see that it's very different. You can see that. And look, you probably saw people on U.S. TV being justifiably appalled by those remarks, But what you may not have seen is the response from the countries he insulted.

Speaker 2: I am honestly so shocked. These countries, like, has he ever been to this country and call it a... Country? Seriously. We're not shit hole.

We're people. We're just like him.

Speaker 3: He is a shit, yes. Because it doesn't matter what you have, he's still going to the same hole where the same worms will eat him, too. Wow.

Speaker 0: You know, it says something about the Trump era that the phrase, the same worms will eat him, too, actually qualifies as a hopeful thought. I would honestly like that crocheted on a pillow so I can wake up to it every morning. -... And look, look, it is not like that's the only time that Trump's remarks have caused an international uproar. He said that Korea used to be part of China, which outraged South Koreans.

He claimed that Germany owes NATO vast sums of money, which it does not. And in the UK, he retweeted these anti-Muslim videos from a far-right British group, which triggered massive condemnation. And instead of fully apologizing for it, he said, it was a big story where you are, but it was not a big story where I am. And that is exactly his attitude. If it wasn't big where I could see it, then it wasn't big.

So forget mastering foreign affairs, Trump may not have mastered object permanence, which you really need to be a good president or even a good fucking baby. And yet, here is the crucial thing. The rest of the world continues to exist whether Trump acknowledges it or not. So tonight, let's try and answer a few basic questions. First, what is Donald Trump's foreign policy?

Because it seems to be little more than repeating a single phrase.

Speaker 4: America first. America first. America first again! America first! America first.

It will be America first from now on. America first.

Speaker 0: Now, if you are another country watching that, you may well be wondering, wait, when has America's attitude ever not been America first? They've been putting America first since the day they arrived in America, very much second. But... But to hear... To hear Donald Trump tell it, in recent years, we've been getting the short end of the stick.

On the campaign trail, he often complained that America had become a global punchline, and promised that he could reverse that.

Speaker 5: The world is laughing at us, folks. The whole world is laughing at us. They're laughing at this, at what's going on in our country. The world laughs at us, folks. The world laughs at us.

We're not gonna be a laughing stock like we have been, and we have been, believe me.

Speaker 0: Oh, we're not going to be a laughing stock anymore, huh? It is insane that Trump, this guy, this guy, this guy, thought he would end the laughter. It's like a flamingo in boxer shorts named Phineas J. Rocket Dump ran for president under the slogan, Time to Get Serious. Now, for the record, since Trump became president, if anything, the world is laughing harder than ever before.

Because while all U.S. Presidents do get made fun of, impersonating Trump has become an international cottage industry. Israel has Trump kicking a Muslim man while dancing lewdly to Guns N' roses. Germany has him dancing to uptown funk. Spain has him flipping off the world and again, dancing like an idiot.

And there's more. Here he is in Pakistan. Here he is in Bulgaria. Here he is in Taiwan. Here he is in Ethiopia.

Here's a pretty shitty 1 from Turkey where they're not even trying. Here's a Korean Trump, and here's 1 from an Italian comedy show singing Born in the USA on a Stealth Fighter before being taken out with a bucket on his head. -♪ I'm a bad guy... ♪ -Are any of these funny? I don't know.

Is anything about Trump funny anymore? Somehow the world's most objectively laughable human has become a comedy graveyard where laughter goes to die. And in case you think any of that may have been good-natured ribbing, A recent Gallup poll shows that the world's approval rating of U.S. Leadership has dropped to 30 percent after being at nearly 50 percent just 2 years ago. That is a precipitous drop in popularity.

It's the equivalent of replacing Gal Gadot in the Wonder Woman franchise with Matt Lauer. And... And look, I know, I know that Donald Trump and others may not give a shit about what the world thinks about us, but they really should for a number of reasons. Chief among them, something called soft power, which yes, I acknowledge, does sound like an erectile dysfunction medication for chinchillas. So soft, yet so hard.

But... But basically, basically it refers to the ability to get others to do what you want them to do without using carrots or sticks. It's kind of a country's brand. And a nation's soft power can come from many sources, from your pop culture, to the ideals you express, to your reputation. And diplomacy can play a major part in it.

Even hard power practitioners, like Trump's own Secretary of Defense, Jim Mad Dog Mattis, supports the soft power work that's done by the State Department. That is why a few years back, he gave a full-throated defense of properly funding it.

Speaker 3: Frankly, they need to be as fully funded as Congress believes appropriate. Because if you don't fund the State Department fully, then I need to buy more ammunition, ultimately.

Speaker 0: Now, that is scary. Because buy more ammunition is his way of saying, without diplomacy, there will be more wars. He doesn't need more ammunition so he can make more bullet earrings for his Epsi store, because he's not just Secretary of Defense, he also crafts accessories for the elegant weirdo. -♪ ♪ -♪ Now, Unfortunately, though, Trump has shown little interest in soft power. His administration recently proposed a 29% cut to the State Department and foreign aid.

And there are many high-level vacancies at the State Department to say nothing of our lack of ambassadors.

Speaker 6: From Belgium to Belize, South Korea to South Africa, President Trump has a problem. His embassies have no ambassador. Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, Qatar, and Saudi Arabia, all without ambassadors.

Speaker 0: Holy shit! South Korea, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia. Those are countries where you really need an ambassador. It's not like Liechtenstein, where you can basically scrape by with a sign that says, -"Never stop Liechtensteining." -$1,000,000. -$1,000,000.

-$1,000,000. And as for the ambassadors that Trump has appointed, some of them are frankly not great. When Trump appointed Piet Hoekstra, ambassador to the Netherlands, they were a little upset over there, as this interview shows.

Speaker 7: Speaking of threat, at 1 point, you mentioned in a debate... That there are no-go zones in the Netherlands, and that cars and politicians are being set on fire

Speaker 8: in the Netherlands.

Speaker 3: I didn't say that. That is actually an incorrect statement. Yeah, we would call it fake news.

Speaker 0: Okay, okay, I didn't say that. So he's given himself some wiggle room there, as long as he didn't say exactly what the reporter just claimed about no-go zones and politicians being set on fire. He's technically correct. The only thing in the whole world that would make him not correct is if it's a video of him saying that cars and politicians are being burned and that, yes, there are no-go zones in the Netherlands.

Speaker 3: There are cars being burned, there are politicians that are being burned, and yes, there are no-go zones in the Netherlands. -...in the Netherlands. -...in

Speaker 8: the Netherlands.

Speaker 0: It's pretty weird not to recall saying out loud, there are politicians that are being burned in the Netherlands. It's not the kind of thing that you do and immediately forget about, like driving to work or seeing the movie The Post. I mean, I have a vague memory of walking into a darkened room, eating milk duds, and thinking Meryl Streep is a treasure, but the rest is a complete blank. --LAUGHTER --But... When Trump was asked about his understaffed State Department, he claimed that it didn't really matter for 1 key reason.

Speaker 5: Let me tell you, the 1 that matters is me. I'm the only 1 that matters, because when it comes to it, that's what the policy is going to be.

Speaker 0: I'm the only 1 that matters, the only 1 that matters is me. It's hard to tell if Donald Trump is laying out a diplomatic strategy, or demanding that Daddy buy him an oompa-loompa now! -...now! -...now! But okay, okay.

If Trump is the only 1 that matters, then his actions are critical to our nation's foreign policy. And that brings us to our next question. How is his approach to the world going? And the answer, surprisingly, is great. And now, this.

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm kidding. It's been a fucking disaster. -♪♪ In fact, to give you a sense of how much damage he can do in very little ti... I can't believe you nearly bought that.

Speaker 9: To give you

Speaker 8: a sense of how much damage he can do in very little time.

Speaker 10: I can't believe you nearly bought that! To give you a sense of how much damage

Speaker 0: he can do in very little time. Just look at last summer's back-to-back NATO and G7 summit. It was just 3 days of meetings, in which time he reportedly told European leaders that, quote, the Germans are bad, very bad. Then shook Emmanuel Macron's hand so aggressively, it seemed like he was trying to masturbate an elephant. -...- Then, at the G7 conference the next day, world leaders unsuccessfully tried to convince him to stay in the Paris Climate Accord, and in the middle of all of that, he gave a speech where he failed to explicitly reaffirm Article 5, the basic principle that NATO members should come to the aid of each other when attacked.

Affirming it is routine for presidents, and it was even in Trump's speech until being apparently deleted at the very last minute, blindsiding top members of his own national security team. And after witnessing Trump's erratic behavior for just 3 days, Angela Merkel was so shell-shocked, she made this statement.

Speaker 1: The times when we could completely rely on others are, to an extent, over. I've experienced this in the last few days, and that's why we Europeans must really take our fate into our own hands.

Speaker 0: That was the day after the summit. Merkel wasn't even supposed to give a major speech. That was at a campaign event held in a beer tent. And that means we're probably lucky there was an event of any kind, otherwise she would have just yelled out, Europe is on its own at her nephew's piano recital. -...

And this brings us to our final question. What are the consequences of this? Well, 1 big 1 of them could be that there is a leadership vacuum in the world. So who will fill that? Well, In Europe, the obvious candidate is Germany.

But even they know that there may be an issue with that.

Speaker 11: Whenever I talk to people in our neighbor countries, they mostly expect it sort of the leadership of Germany. But on the other side, whenever I talk to the People in these countries with a very good memory what happened in the first half of the 20th century, they are very reluctant talking about German leadership.

Speaker 0: You're right. You're right. I'm so glad that you brought that up, because I didn't want to be the first 1 to bring it up, but you are absolutely right. When people hear, Germany wants to take a leading role in Europe, most of us do still think, no, they're still in timeout and they know why. They know what they did.

Naughty Germany. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Now, globally, it seems that China is set to be the biggest beneficiary, because they have been aggressively seeking to increase their influence in soft power, something that has not gone unnoticed.

Speaker 12: An Asian head of government recently explained to me that at every regional conference, Washington sends a couple of diplomats, whereas Beijing sends dozens. The Chinese are there at every committee meeting, and you are not, he said. The result, he explained, is that Beijing is increasingly setting the Asian agenda.

Speaker 0: It's true. The U.S. Is absent at many important meetings, and that doesn't even include meetings that Jared Kushner was supposed to attend, but he couldn't find the room, and he was too shy to ask someone, and then he realized it was too late anyway, so he just killed an hour wandering around the lobby pretending to be on the phone. -... -...

-... -... -... -... -...

-... -... -... China's increased influence should be alarming because they are an autocratic country. You don't necessarily want China setting global priorities on things like human rights and democracy.

And yet, Trump's reckless behavior is opening the door to exactly that happening. Not to mention the fact that what he's doing is going to make it harder for him to accomplish his own goals. He wants to contain North Korea? Well, to do that, you might want to appoint an ambassador to South Korea. He wants Germany to spend more on its military?

Okay, but maybe stop publicly shaming Merkel if you want her to be able to sell that idea back home. And if he wants to contain security threats like ISIS and al-Shabaab in African countries, then maybe don't call African countries fucking shitholes! And that is the thing here. Trump can say that he doesn't care because his approach is America first, but you need allies to get anything done. Foreign affairs is like sex.

If you loudly announce that you will always come first, you're going to have trouble finding partners. -... And as for Trump's other promise, that the world will stop laughing, it is not just comedians doing that, it's world leaders. Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was at a press dinner last year, and he had himself a bit of fun. Donald and I, we are winning and winning in the polls.

-♪ ♪ -♪ We are winning so much. -♪ We are

Speaker 4: winning like we have never won before. Not the fake polls. Not the fake polls. They're the ones we're not winning in. We're winning in the real polls.

You know, the online polls.

Speaker 0: They are so easy to win. I have this Russian guy. LAUGHTER

Speaker 4: Believe me, it's true. It is true.

Speaker 0: That is a key ally, using the fact that our president is a pathological liar as a punchline, and crushing that room like a fourth grader with a carrot stick stuck up his nose. --LAUGHTER --And... And if you think that was grim, let me show you 1 more clip we found when we were looking for Trump impersonators around the world. This 1 is from Russian TV, with a comedian making fun of Trump's suspiciously close relationship to Putin. And there is a fun little surprise for you, just at the end.

Speaker 3: The other day, Hillary asked me, Donald, Do you love Russia? I answered, Yes, I do. I love Russia. But you have no evidence against me. My best friend is

Speaker 8: President Putin. My best friend is...

Speaker 10: Oh, my God! That is as happy

Speaker 0: as I have ever seen Putin. Ever. I guess at least we now know what type of humor that Putin likes. He likes the kind where he meddles in another country's election, succeeds, has a joke about it made to his face in public, and then realizes it all worked out and no 1 can touch him. That's the kind of humor that Putin likes.

It just creases him up. Look, I know that all of this is depressing, because it seems like America's reputation overseas is under attack from its own president, which is just ridiculous. Soft power is an act of salesmanship. It's selling your brand. It is the 1 thing that Trump is supposed to be good at, and he's fucking blowing it.

So as an immigrant, who has fallen in love with this country, for what it's worth, please allow me to speak to the rest of the world in America's defense for a moment, because Donald Trump does not reflect America. I mean, to be completely honest... -...to be completely honest... -...who does reflect it a bit. But, the point is, America is not 1 thing.

It's a beautiful mess of contradictions where good and bad are mixed together. On 1 hand, it makes Mountain Dew, which tastes like a honeydew melon was fucked by a radioactive clown. -♪ ♪ -♪ On the other hand, it also made this awesome bed shaped like the Batmobile. You can fall asleep in that thing and be Batman if Batman somehow got locked out of the Batcave and had to sleep in his car. But that's the American dream right there.

America is the country that came up with YouTube, which yes, I know, gave you in the world that shithead Logan Paul. But It also gave you those videos of adults in T-Rex suits on dirt bikes, ballet dancing, exercising, and doing basic car repairs. And by the way, that magnificent dinosaur costume, that's an American idea too. The point is, America is the country that gave you Star Wars, you're welcome, and Scientology, we're sorry about that. And sometimes what's great and terrible about us is just impossible to separate.

Like Popeye's chicken. It's objectively disgusting, but I would run across traffic to eat this shit. The point is, Trump is the worst of us, yes, but he's not all of us. If I had to distill America down to 1 sound, it wouldn't be the braying voice of Donald Trump screaming, America first. It would be the gorgeous voices of the New York City gay men's chorus singing this song.

-♪

Speaker 6: Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

Speaker 0: ♪ That's right. That's All Star by Smash Mouth. A terrible, stupid song being sung absolutely beautifully. This should be our new national anthem.

Speaker 10: And so please, world, for the next 3 or 7 or somehow 11 years. Please remember, this is

Speaker 0: the country of Donald Trump, yes,

Speaker 10: but it's also the country of people profoundly embarrassed by it and the country that brought you inflatable dinosaur costumes and fucking Batman beds!

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Trump vs. The World: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)