- The video discusses the issue of guardianship for senior citizens in the United States.
- It highlights the case of Rudy and Rennie North, who were forcibly moved to a facility by a guardian appointed by a judge, resulting in the loss of most of their money.
- The video explains that guardianship is a system where a court appoints someone to make decisions on behalf of individuals who are unable to do so themselves due to mental or physical disabilities.
- It mentions that guardians can have significant power over their wards, including access to their finances and the ability to make important decisions.
- The video also points out the potential for abuse within the guardianship system, with private guardians charging excessive fees for their services.
- It discusses the case of April Parks, a guardian who faced multiple felony charges for exploitation and theft.
- The lack of oversight and regulation in the guardianship system is highlighted, with the responsibility falling on state and local courts.

- Guardianship is the responsibility of state and local courts, with decisions made by local judges who may have no legal training.
- In Texas, guardianship decisions are made by county judges, many of whom are not lawyers.
- Overworked courts lack the resources to properly monitor cases, leading to thousands of wards dying without the court's knowledge.
- Only 12 states require professional guardians to be certified, allowing anyone to become a guardian.
- The lack of oversight in the guardianship system is concerning, as it is easy to fall into and difficult to get out of.
- It is important to have honest conversations with family about how you want to be taken care of in case of need.
- Taking concrete legal steps, such as appointing a healthcare representative and durable power of attorney, can help prevent the appointment of an untrustworthy guardian.
- It is crucial to plan for the future and share important documents with friends and family.

It’s alarmingly easy for a total stranger to gain total control over the life of a senior citizen. We enlisted a group of celebrities to offer a warning about predatory behavior...in a legal guardian or a hippo.

Connect with Last Week Tonight online...

Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight

Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: http://Facebook.com/LastWeekTonight

Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight

Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once: http://www.hbo.com/lastweektonight

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Senior citizens, the people who stay active by playing shuffleboard, going on walks, or performing their hit song, I Can't Get No Satisfaction, in front of packed arenas around the world.

Now, many Senior citizens remain active and independent, like this woman who CNN interviewed when she was 104, and who shared her secret for good health.

It's got sugar in it, And 3, 2 doctors have told me that if I drink it, I will die.

Because you seem awfully proud of that fact.

I'm not saying that you did, I'm just saying serial killers always want recognition for their crimes.

Now, we currently have a lot of senior citizens.

Right now, over 49 million Americans are 65 and older, and that number is expected to sharply increase in a demographic surge that some have called the Silver Tsunami, which is also apparently the nickname that Christopher Plummer goes by at his underground cage-fighting ring.

If you get caught in the silver tsunami's flurry of fists, you're waking up in the hospital.

But the truth here is, not everyone is going to remain as sharp and self-sufficient in their old age as that murderer laughing at her dead doctors.

Unavoidably, some of us are going to wind up needing extra care, and that could place us in a system called guardianship.

And I'll let a Maryland judge explain it to you as a camera pushes relentlessly into his face.

A guardian is someone appointed by the court to act on behalf of an individual who is under a mental or physical disability.

And as a result, is unable to make responsible decisions about his or her care or property.

And you should know that zoom wasn't actually planned.

The cameraman was just so taken by the judge's animal magnetism, he couldn't resist moving in closer and closer.

The final shot was just the camera pressed up against his mustache.

--AUDIENCE LAUGHS- But the fact is, guardianship is an important, valuable tool.

Let's say an elderly person who lives alone is showing signs of dementia.

Any concerned person could petition a court, which might decide to appoint a guardian to help them make important decisions.

That guardian could be a family member, or if there is no family, or if the family's fighting, the court might appoint a private guardian, a professional who is paid to manage their affairs.

But it probably won't surprise you that that is not what this story is about.

That's simply not what we do on I Just Wanted to Watch a Comedy Show and Go to Sleep, but Now I'm Sad with Johnny Joykiller.

Let me show you what can happen when guardianship goes wrong.

They were living together happily in Las Vegas, when 1 day, there was a knock on their door.

So I opened the door, and they said that they were officers of the court.

Rudy says the officers gave the couple 3 options.

It's like playing fuck, marry, kill with the chipmunks.

None of them, none of that from any of them.

I'll kill myself, I'm taking the easy way out.

But it is true, there was a knock on the North Store, and they were suddenly moved to a facility by a woman they had never met before, who was given control of them by a judge who they had also never met.

And by the time they got out from under that guardian's control, 2 years later, most of their money was gone.

Something that Rudy is still understandably furious about.

And you know what I really feel for him, although I also must defend strippers here, because they get rid of their own clothes, not somebody else's.

Because somebody who walks around getting rid of other people's clothes is either a criminal or Tan France from the reboot of Queer Eye.

So, tonight, let's talk about our system of guardianship.

And the first thing you should know is that far more people are under it than you may think.

1 study estimated the figure to be around 1.3 million people.

And the next thing you should know is that guardians can have a huge amount of power over people under their care or their wards.

Now, because they may have to make financial and health decisions, they can have access to everything from wards' bank accounts to their health records.

And as for the wards themselves, they can lose a lot of their rights from being able to vote in elections to being able to get married.

So this is no small thing, as 1 judge who awards guardianships will tell you.

Guardianship is a massive intrusion into a person's life.

In fact, they lose more rights than someone who goes to prison.

Basically, the only things that you do have the right to do in prison are sleep, eat, work out, and occasionally play backgammon with Phil Spector.

And the fact that guardians gain control of their ward's finances is where things can get problematic, because private guardians can bill for each individual service they provide, from leaving voice messages to just opening the mail.

And they can take payment directly out of their ward's estate.

And those charges can accumulate fast and sometimes seem ridiculous.

For instance, the family of a woman named Marie Long objected to her guardians taking her on a weirdly expensive outing.

Just look at what Sun Valley charged Marie to send her and their worker to a Phoenix Suns basketball game.

Over a thousand dollars for research, phone calls, a limo.

Sun Valley even charged Marie $228 to determine the effect of the game on her mood.

They charged her $228 to figure out how a Phoenix Suns game affected her mood.

Which is absurd, because I'll tell you that for free.

Go to a game and see if it improves your mood to see Dragan Bender put up 4 points and 1 and a half rebounds.

And when Rudy and Rennie's guardian, a woman named April Parks, was confronted over some of what she charged them for, She didn't exactly stand her ground.

Rudy and Renny were charged $780 each for court filings and travel time to court on the same days in 2013.

Who you're saying doesn't have enough money already.

We will happily reverse those charges out.

How about $108 Parks charged Rennie to buy her a pair of stretch pants?

Does 108 bucks for stretch pants seem reasonable?

No, it doesn't, and I'm happy to reverse that.

Yeah, but you can't just do a bunch of shitty things and then say, I'll reverse it.

This is someone's life, not a fucking Missy Elliott song.

Although, in fairness, you do probably need good stretch pants if you're going to put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it.

And the Norths weren't the only ones who had questions about April Parks' bullying practices.

She had up to a hundred wards at a single time.

And in a court case involving a different ward, a curious fact emerged.

Parks was a no-show in court, but her voice was heard through her own financial records, which are almost laughable.

Some days were over 100 hours of billing.

Yeah, 100 hours a day is not physically possible unless she was working on the planet Mercury, where, as we all know, each day lasts 1,407 Earth hours.

I'll be honest, that's a joke exclusively designed for Neil deGrasse Tyson, so I do hope you enjoyed it, Dr.

Tyson, because absolutely nobody else did.

Actually, out of interest, did you enjoy it?

Yeah, but the time you gave was the rotation rate of Mercury.

A day on Mercury would be from sunrise to sunrise, of course.

And on Mercury, that lasts 3 times longer than what you just gave.

Just enjoy something for once in your fucking life!

And look, April Parks' cavalier approach to her awards continued even after some of them died.

Because when this guy, this guy here, bought a storage unit at auction, you will never guess what he found.

Some a few years old, others from the early 2000s.

Somebody had the gall To store a family member in a storage unit like that

That's somebody according to Valley funeral home directors was this woman April Parks?

It's true She just left urns full of other people's family members in a storage unit.

And the only way that could have been in worse taste was if she poured them into a piñata for a nine-year-old's birthday party.

Not for the urn thing, by the way, which was completely legal.

And she is currently facing trial on over 200 felony charges, including racketeering, theft, exploitation, and perjury.

But you're probably wondering, well, how did she even get so many awards in the first place?

Why didn't the Federal Bureau of Guardian Oversight step in to stop her?

Well, that's mainly because that agency doesn't exist.

We just made it up, and the fact that 1 of the symbols on that logo was just Harvey Keitel's face should have really been a giveaway for you.

The fact is, though, guardianship is the responsibility of state and local courts, meaning in most places, everything about it, from who becomes 1, to who they oversee, to what they can charge, is up to local judges who may be elected and may have no legal training.

For instance, in much of Texas, guardianship decisions are made by county judges, and only 29 of the judges in those 211 counties are lawyers.

The rest, as 1 judge put it, are farmers, car dealers, and insurance salesmen.

And those courts can be so overworked, they do not have the resources to monitor cases properly.

When Texas recently audited their guardianships, they found that over 3,000 wards had died without the court knowing.

And are they alive or dead is the absolute least you should know about someone under your care.

If a zookeeper didn't know that 3,000 of his animals were dead, you'd put someone else in charge of that fucking zoo,

the very least, rebrand it as an open-air exotic meat market.

And on top of all this, only 12 states require professional guardians to be certified at all.

And when the Government Accountability Office looked into this a few years ago, their findings were truly troubling.

Most jobs handling even small amounts of cash require some sort of criminal background check and or a credit check.

But the GAO found in most cases, guardians for the elderly can handle millions of dollars and states have failed to require either.

And it's like putting the, you know, fox in the chicken coop, basically, and of course, they're going to steal money.

Although I will say, not every fox is out to steal from you.

That's just an offensive stereotype based on Swiper from Dory the Explorer.

It's not all foxes, hashtag not all foxes.

Actually, you know, now I'm looking at this, that also says no tall foxes, but I do agree with that as well.

A tall fox would be very, very scary, and awareness must be raised, hashtag no tall foxes.

And all of this lack of oversight is worrying in a system that can be easy to fall into and very difficult to get out of.

Remember, it took Rudy and Rennie nearly 2 years to get out from under April Parks, and it was not easy.

Although, luckily for them, Rudy was pretty determined.

We're going to pursue it all their way, and we're going for their balls.

Just so they know, it's their balls we want.

And he also seems like the first person in human history actually interested in balls.

Because generally, balls are to the human body what STARS is to a cable package.

It comes with it, we understand that, but it's not nice to look at, and nobody really knows what to do with it.

And again, again, I am not saying that guardianship as a system is inherently bad.

There are people who need it, and there are going to be more of them as the silver tsunami approaches.

But that is all the more reason for us to improve its checks and balances, from greater regulation to more funding for oversight.

And on the personal level, there are steps that everyone can take to avoid being taken advantage of in the future.

Most experts tell us it is important to have honest conversations with your family.

And I know that sounds like a fucking nightmare.

But you have to have these conversations about how you want you and your finances to be taken care of should the need arise.

That will help prevent a court from having to step in and appointing a private guardian that could turn out to be an April Parks.

Plus, there are some concrete legal steps that you can take.

And I know that if you're a little older, you may not want to hear advice from a fresh-faced, holy shit, is he really only 41-year-old?

So, we've actually enlisted some help to get the message across.

It's just part of life, and someday you will too.

We're glamorous celebrities with access to skin care technology, but won't be on the market for decades.

That's actually a lot more likely than you think.

Getting older can mean needing someone to help look after you and your affairs.

You should make sure that that's someone you know and not some random person you've never met who just wants to spend all your money on fucking stretch pants.

That's why it's important to select someone to serve as your health care representative

and someone who can make decisions for you under a durable power of attorney.

Name people you trust like your son or daughter or close friend

Jimmy Stewart would have been my go-to guy, but that was

Just make sure they're people you'd be comfortable with.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Senior citizens, the people who stay active by playing shuffleboard, going on walks, or performing their hit song, I Can't Get No Satisfaction, in front of packed arenas around the world. Now, many Senior citizens remain active and independent, like this woman who CNN interviewed when she was 104, and who shared her secret for good health.

Speaker 1: You're drinking Dr. Pepper right now.

Speaker 2: That's exactly right. That stuff is good. It's got sugar in it, And 3, 2 doctors have told me that if I drink it, I will die. But they died first. Okay.

Well... Follow-up question.

Speaker 0: Did you kill those 2 doctors? Because you seem awfully proud of that fact. I'm not saying that you did, I'm just saying serial killers always want recognition for their crimes. Now, we currently have a lot of senior citizens. Right now, over 49 million Americans are 65 and older, and that number is expected to sharply increase in a demographic surge that some have called the Silver Tsunami, which is also apparently the nickname that Christopher Plummer goes by at his underground cage-fighting ring.

He's 57 and 0. If you get caught in the silver tsunami's flurry of fists, you're waking up in the hospital. But the truth here is, not everyone is going to remain as sharp and self-sufficient in their old age as that murderer laughing at her dead doctors. Unavoidably, some of us are going to wind up needing extra care, and that could place us in a system called guardianship. And I'll let a Maryland judge explain it to you as a camera pushes relentlessly into his face.

Speaker 3: A guardian is someone appointed by the court to act on behalf of an individual who is under a mental or physical disability. And as a result, is unable to make responsible decisions about his or her care or property.

Speaker 0: He's right. And you should know that zoom wasn't actually planned. The cameraman was just so taken by the judge's animal magnetism, he couldn't resist moving in closer and closer. The final shot was just the camera pressed up against his mustache. --AUDIENCE LAUGHS- But the fact is, guardianship is an important, valuable tool.

And here is how it works, basically. Let's say an elderly person who lives alone is showing signs of dementia. Any concerned person could petition a court, which might decide to appoint a guardian to help them make important decisions. That guardian could be a family member, or if there is no family, or if the family's fighting, the court might appoint a private guardian, a professional who is paid to manage their affairs. And when this system works, it's great.

But it probably won't surprise you that that is not what this story is about. That's simply not what we do on I Just Wanted to Watch a Comedy Show and Go to Sleep, but Now I'm Sad with Johnny Joykiller. Because... Because... Let me show you what can happen when guardianship goes wrong.

Take the case of Rudy and Rennie North. They were living together happily in Las Vegas, when 1 day, there was a knock on their door. And I'll let Rudy take it from here.

Speaker 4: So I opened the door, and they said that they were officers of the court.

Speaker 5: Rudy says the officers gave the couple 3 options.

Speaker 4: 1, we call the police. 2, we have you go to a psychiatric ward.

Speaker 5: Choice 3, an assisted living facility.

Speaker 0: Well, that is 3 terrible options there. It's like playing fuck, marry, kill with the chipmunks. None of them, none of that from any of them. I'll kill myself, I'm taking the easy way out. But it is true, there was a knock on the North Store, and they were suddenly moved to a facility by a woman they had never met before, who was given control of them by a judge who they had also never met.

And by the time they got out from under that guardian's control, 2 years later, most of their money was gone. Something that Rudy is still understandably furious about.

Speaker 4: They're strippers. They strip your clothes. They strip everything from you. We have nothing left. No money, no assets, nothing.

Nothing left.

Speaker 0: And you know what I really feel for him, although I also must defend strippers here, because they get rid of their own clothes, not somebody else's. Because somebody who walks around getting rid of other people's clothes is either a criminal or Tan France from the reboot of Queer Eye. So, tonight, let's talk about our system of guardianship. And the first thing you should know is that far more people are under it than you may think. 1 study estimated the figure to be around 1.3 million people.

And the next thing you should know is that guardians can have a huge amount of power over people under their care or their wards. Now, because they may have to make financial and health decisions, they can have access to everything from wards' bank accounts to their health records. And as for the wards themselves, they can lose a lot of their rights from being able to vote in elections to being able to get married. So this is no small thing, as 1 judge who awards guardianships will tell you.

Speaker 6: Guardianship is a massive intrusion into a person's life.

Speaker 7: They lose a lot of rights.

Speaker 6: In fact, they lose more rights than someone who goes to prison.

Speaker 0: Less rights than someone in prison. That is pretty shocking. Basically, the only things that you do have the right to do in prison are sleep, eat, work out, and occasionally play backgammon with Phil Spector. He's really good at it. It's all he does.

Now, he's finished with the killing. That was just a phase for Phil. And the fact that guardians gain control of their ward's finances is where things can get problematic, because private guardians can bill for each individual service they provide, from leaving voice messages to just opening the mail. And they can take payment directly out of their ward's estate. And those charges can accumulate fast and sometimes seem ridiculous.

For instance, the family of a woman named Marie Long objected to her guardians taking her on a weirdly expensive outing.

Speaker 8: Just look at what Sun Valley charged Marie to send her and their worker to a Phoenix Suns basketball game. Over a thousand dollars for research, phone calls, a limo. Sun Valley even charged Marie $228 to determine the effect of the game on her mood.

Speaker 0: Exactly. They charged her $228 to figure out how a Phoenix Suns game affected her mood. Which is absurd, because I'll tell you that for free. It was a Phoenix Suns game. It made her sad.

Try it yourself. Go to a game and see if it improves your mood to see Dragan Bender put up 4 points and 1 and a half rebounds. Spoiler alert, it won't. And when Rudy and Rennie's guardian, a woman named April Parks, was confronted over some of what she charged them for, She didn't exactly stand her ground.

Speaker 5: Rudy and Renny were charged $780 each for court filings and travel time to court on the same days in 2013. That's over $1,500.

Speaker 9: You're absolutely right.

Speaker 5: To this couple.

Speaker 10: You're absolutely right.

Speaker 5: Who you're saying doesn't have enough money already.

Speaker 11: We will happily reverse those charges out.

Speaker 5: How about $108 Parks charged Rennie to buy her a pair of stretch pants? Does 108 bucks for stretch pants seem reasonable?

Speaker 11: No, it doesn't, and I'm happy to reverse that.

Speaker 0: Yeah, but you can't just do a bunch of shitty things and then say, I'll reverse it. This is someone's life, not a fucking Missy Elliott song. Although, in fairness, you do probably need good stretch pants if you're going to put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it. And the Norths weren't the only ones who had questions about April Parks' bullying practices. She had up to a hundred wards at a single time.

And in a court case involving a different ward, a curious fact emerged.

Speaker 5: Parks was a no-show in court, but her voice was heard through her own financial records, which are almost laughable.

Speaker 12: Some days were over 100 hours of billing.

Speaker 5: That's not physically possible.

Speaker 0: Yeah, 100 hours a day is not physically possible unless she was working on the planet Mercury, where, as we all know, each day lasts 1,407 Earth hours. I'll be honest, that's a joke exclusively designed for Neil deGrasse Tyson, so I do hope you enjoyed it, Dr. Tyson, because absolutely nobody else did. Actually, out of interest, did you enjoy it?

Speaker 13: Yeah, but the time you gave was the rotation rate of Mercury. That's not the same thing as a day. A day on Mercury would be from sunrise to sunrise, of course. And on Mercury, that lasts 3 times longer than what you just gave.

Speaker 0: Shut up, Neil! Shut up! Shut... Why do you have to ruin everything? Just enjoy something for once in your fucking life!

What is wrong with you, you feckless... Oh, never mind. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Bad idea.

And look, April Parks' cavalier approach to her awards continued even after some of them died. Because when this guy, this guy here, bought a storage unit at auction, you will never guess what he found.

Speaker 14: 27 urns, 27 sets of different ashes. Some a few years old, others from the early 2000s.

Speaker 4: Somebody had the gall To store a family member in a storage unit like that

Speaker 14: That's somebody according to Valley funeral home directors was this woman April Parks?

Speaker 0: It's true She just left urns full of other people's family members in a storage unit. And the only way that could have been in worse taste was if she poured them into a piñata for a nine-year-old's birthday party. Happy birthday, Matthew. Nine's a fun age. Now, Parks was eventually arrested.

Not for the urn thing, by the way, which was completely legal. And she is currently facing trial on over 200 felony charges, including racketeering, theft, exploitation, and perjury. But you're probably wondering, well, how did she even get so many awards in the first place? Why didn't the Federal Bureau of Guardian Oversight step in to stop her? Well, that's mainly because that agency doesn't exist.

We just made it up, and the fact that 1 of the symbols on that logo was just Harvey Keitel's face should have really been a giveaway for you. The fact is, though, guardianship is the responsibility of state and local courts, meaning in most places, everything about it, from who becomes 1, to who they oversee, to what they can charge, is up to local judges who may be elected and may have no legal training. For instance, in much of Texas, guardianship decisions are made by county judges, and only 29 of the judges in those 211 counties are lawyers. The rest, as 1 judge put it, are farmers, car dealers, and insurance salesmen. And those courts can be so overworked, they do not have the resources to monitor cases properly.

When Texas recently audited their guardianships, they found that over 3,000 wards had died without the court knowing. And are they alive or dead is the absolute least you should know about someone under your care. If a zookeeper didn't know that 3,000 of his animals were dead, you'd put someone else in charge of that fucking zoo,

Speaker 15: or at

Speaker 0: the very least, rebrand it as an open-air exotic meat market. And on top of all this, only 12 states require professional guardians to be certified at all. So just about anyone can become 1. And when the Government Accountability Office looked into this a few years ago, their findings were truly troubling.

Speaker 12: Most jobs handling even small amounts of cash require some sort of criminal background check and or a credit check. But the GAO found in most cases, guardians for the elderly can handle millions of dollars and states have failed to require either.

Speaker 3: And it's like putting the, you know, fox in the chicken coop, basically, and of course, they're going to steal money.

Speaker 0: Exactly. Although I will say, not every fox is out to steal from you. That's just an offensive stereotype based on Swiper from Dory the Explorer. It's not all foxes, hashtag not all foxes. Actually, you know, now I'm looking at this, that also says no tall foxes, but I do agree with that as well.

A tall fox would be very, very scary, and awareness must be raised, hashtag no tall foxes. And all of this lack of oversight is worrying in a system that can be easy to fall into and very difficult to get out of. Remember, it took Rudy and Rennie nearly 2 years to get out from under April Parks, and it was not easy. Although, luckily for them, Rudy was pretty determined.

Speaker 4: We're going to pursue it all their way, and we're going for their balls. Just so they know, it's their balls we want. -♪ We want

Speaker 16: them to be free...

Speaker 0: ♪ -Okay, Okay. That's fine. Rudy... Rudy seems determined. And he also seems like the first person in human history actually interested in balls.

Because generally, balls are to the human body what STARS is to a cable package. It comes with it, we understand that, but it's not nice to look at, and nobody really knows what to do with it. And again, again, I am not saying that guardianship as a system is inherently bad. There are people who need it, and there are going to be more of them as the silver tsunami approaches. But that is all the more reason for us to improve its checks and balances, from greater regulation to more funding for oversight.

And on the personal level, there are steps that everyone can take to avoid being taken advantage of in the future. Most experts tell us it is important to have honest conversations with your family. And I know that sounds like a fucking nightmare. But you have to have these conversations about how you want you and your finances to be taken care of should the need arise. That will help prevent a court from having to step in and appointing a private guardian that could turn out to be an April Parks.

Plus, there are some concrete legal steps that you can take. And I know that if you're a little older, you may not want to hear advice from a fresh-faced, holy shit, is he really only 41-year-old? So, we've actually enlisted some help to get the message across.

Speaker 1: Look, we all get old eventually.

Speaker 16: It's just part of life, and someday you will too.

Speaker 15: Obviously, you won't age as well as us.

Speaker 7: We're glamorous celebrities with access to skin care technology, but won't be on the market for decades.

Speaker 15: Look how supple my cheeks are.

Speaker 16: You might not age at all.

Speaker 7: You might die tonight, young. By getting hit by lightning.

Speaker 1: Or eating too many Tide Pods.

Speaker 15: Or getting killed by a hippo.

Speaker 16: That's actually a lot more likely than you think.

Speaker 15: They kill hundreds of people each year.

Speaker 7: Oh, you think they're cute? They're a fucking killing machine.

Speaker 16: I mean, look at this.

Speaker 15: Hippos are terrible.

Speaker 16: But we're not here to talk about hippos.

Speaker 13: I am.

Speaker 16: Me

Speaker 7: too. I love hippos.

Speaker 16: What do

Speaker 1: you mean we're not talking about hippos? I thought this was a whole hippo thing.

Speaker 7: Getting older can mean needing someone to help look after you and your affairs.

Speaker 16: You should make sure that that's someone you know and not some random person you've never met who just wants to spend all your money on fucking stretch pants.

Speaker 1: That's why it's important to select someone to serve as your health care representative

Speaker 15: and someone who can make decisions for you under a durable power of attorney.

Speaker 7: Name people you trust like your son or daughter or close friend

Speaker 1: Or Mr. Tom Hanks.

Speaker 16: Tom Hanks is the best. Such a nice boy.

Speaker 1: Jimmy Stewart would have been my go-to guy, but that was

Speaker 7: in the past. Just make sure they're people you'd be comfortable with.

Speaker 15: Making financial or health decisions.

Speaker 16: On your behalf. I hereby make Tom Hanks.

Speaker 1: Mr. Tom Jefferson Hanks.

Speaker 15: My health care representative.

Speaker 7: This clipboard is filthy. Signed, yours truly. Done. And remember to always share these documents with your friends and family. And discuss your plans so everyone's on the same page.

Speaker 15: And even if this feels far off.

Speaker 1: You've got to start planning for the future now.

Speaker 16: Now. Now. Now. Now. Also, hippos are killing machines.

Speaker 15: That's the real message here.

Speaker 7: Fuck hippos.

Speaker 16: Fuck Hippos. Fuck hippos.

Speaker 7: What is wrong with you people?

See all LastWeekTonight transcripts on Youtube

Guardianship: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)