John Oliver discusses the new trend of AI-generated images based on text prompts, and, of course, what it all has to do with cabbage.

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Finally tonight, I want to talk about artificial intelligence, or AI.

It's a technology which, despite posing a clear, existential threat to humanity, we currently manage to keep under our control using pictures of traffic lights.

But make no mistake, once the machines learn how to recognize them, we are all fucked.

Now, I wanted to talk about AI because there is a new popular trend that you may have heard about.

It seems like everyone is talking about these websites that use artificial intelligence to generate images.

It's all because of a tool named Dolly, which comes from a startup named OpenAI.

You type in a description of something you want to see, and a computer creates realistic images to match.

The fun part is you can be really elaborate with your descriptions.

The system was trained with 650 million pictures, and the results are some of the best we've seen from computers yet.

There are a number of them out there now, like DALI, Crayon, and Mid Journey.

With each 1, you simply type in a text prompt, and it'll create images for you in around a minute.

So, for instance, you might type in, let's say, a roast beef superhero.

I have no idea, but here's what Meat Journey's AI created based on that phrase.

There's the fantastic roast beef superhero logo, the mild-mannered roast beef hero with legs for arms and no lower body, the headless roast beef hero holding a roast beef cane of justice, and the helmet-wearing, America-shaped cut of roast beef that appears to have taken a shit on the floor.

All 4 of those images are now my favorite roast beef superheroes.

Marvel, if you're watching, there's phase 5 of the MCU right there.

Not just to see images come to life in seconds, but also to see how AI interprets these prompts.

Poking around on Mid Journey's Discord, you'll discover things like this delightful Frog Bumblebee, or Judi Dench fighting a centaur on the moon, or what the program decided to do when fed the two-word prompt, goose pilates, which is, I think we could all agree, excellent.

You could kill an afternoon searching to see what images others have requested, which is what 1 member of our staff, Julia, was doing when she made a fateful decision, because she started putting in the names of various late-night hosts, like James Corden, which brought back 8 search results, including James Corden flies a plane and trail cam footage of James Corden eating teeth.

And I know it can be hard to see him do that, but there is 1 where he eats teeth with Paul McCartney, and it's actually very moving.

Interestingly, for most hosts, there weren't a ton of results.

There were 14 for Conan O'Brien, 8 for Colbert, 3 a piece for Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel.

But here's where things got a little bit weird, because there she put in my name.

And would you like to know how many results came back?

I do have a face that's already basically a boardwalk caricature.

I've got what carnival artists refer to as a real softball.

And it's not just the volume, it's the specificity of the props.

There's John Oliver in Victorian-era dress.

John Oliver bursting out of a can of Del Monte green beans.

John Oliver as an amoeba viewed through a microscope.

And John Oliver commanding a horde of elves to charge a potato.

All of these deserve to be in the Louvre, and at least 1 of them depicts an actual nightmare that I've had.

But there is 1 Mid-Journey user who's gone above and beyond.

And look, I won't pretend I loved saying those words, but I think you'll agree that their AI creations are simply mind-blowing.

For instance, there's John Oliver as Mona Lisa, which is striking, though I believe may be enough to be prosecuted as a felony in Italy.

Then there's John Oliver is a perfect egg, and John Oliver is an egg with a bad attitude, so don't mess with him, or he will do to you what he did to Humpty Dumpty.

That's just 1 of many images where post-poop zoomies seemingly try to tell a whole story.

There's also John Oliver at brunch with the girls, and he's laughing because Debbie told a funny joke.

Which is remarkable, because that's exactly what I look like when Debbie does that.

Or how about John Oliver as a cowboy with a cowboy hat so large, nobody has any respect for him.

Which is really amazing, Because I could not tell you what size a cowboy hat has to be to instantly dissolve respect.

But that computer was able to calculate the dimensions perfectly.

And honestly, bravo to you, post-poop zoomies.

I did have some questions about your process until I found this post from you which read simply, I got high and blasted a million John Olivers.

But the true masterpiece on Mid-Journey is a long series of images I like to think of as The Cabbage Saga, created by Post Poop Zoomies and another account, Margaret.

The story starts, as all good stories do, humbly, with the image of John Oliver is very confused in a cabbage field.

From there, we move to John Oliver growing cabbages in his apartment, a hobby that evidently takes off for me, given that we then see John Oliver gives a TED Talk on proper cabbage growth techniques.

Which to be fair, is still better than this real TED Talk called, How to Tie Your Shoes.

Then, things start escalating, because next we see John Oliver throwing a cabbage, and John Oliver throwing a cabbage at a child for some reason, and then in a big plot twist, John Oliver having dinner with a cabbage because he realizes maybe he judged them too soon.

That's a subtext that comes out of absolutely nowhere.

But it makes much more sense when you see John Oliver looking lovingly at his cabbage, having realized that he's falling in love.

Followed by, does John Oliver love the cabbage?

And from there, it's on to inevitably, John Oliver and the cabbage are getting married.

And interestingly, interestingly, it's at this point that the AI, for the very first time, seems to struggle with a prompt, because that seems to be an image of me getting married to myself, and the cabbage somehow being there as a witness.

But That's not what this story is about, is it?

And I don't know what this computer is struggling to understand about the very simple concept of a man wanting to marry a cabbage.

This is why we're not letting you drive cars yet.

But the story is still not done, and I have to warn you, it takes something of a darker turn.

Because the next thing we see is, and this honestly made me gasp out loud, oh no, John Oliver dreamed about being hungry and ate the cabbage in his sleep.

Which is absolutely mortifying, and understandably followed by John Oliver crying into half a cabbage.

And John Oliver will never be happy again.

His heart is broken, but his stomach is full.

Which is both tragic and somehow beautiful.

And if you're wondering what I did with the other half of the cabbage.

That is made clear by the final prompt, which is simply John Oliver pouring cabbage ashes into the ocean.

This story is a true testament to life's highs and lows, showing how poetic, lovely, and weirdly full of cabbage life can be.

There's really only 1 thing that bothers me about all of this, though, and that is that wedding image.

Because take a closer look at it right now.

Program nailed all of its other assignments, but this image, the key image in the whole story, the pivot point to the tragedy that follows was somehow beyond its capabilities, which seems like such a shame.

Post-poop Zoomies deserved better, as did Margaret.

We all deserve better, and that's when it hit me.

There's really only 1 way to remedy the fact that we were cheated out of that key wedding image, and that is for me to provide it for you now.

But not through graphics, no, that would be far too easy.

I'm thinking more of a full, vibrant tableau...

So, please, come with me, because I'm about to marry a fucking cabbage.

Do you, John, take this cabbage to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health until death do you part?

And do you promise not to eat it in your sleep?

I'll try my very best, but I think we both know what might well happen.

By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and cabbage.


Speaker 0: -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Moving on. Finally tonight, I want to talk about artificial intelligence, or AI. It's a technology which, despite posing a clear, existential threat to humanity, we currently manage to keep under our control using pictures of traffic lights. But make no mistake, once the machines learn how to recognize them, we are all fucked. Now, I wanted to talk about AI because there is a new popular trend that you may have heard about.

Speaker 1: It seems like everyone is talking about these websites that use artificial intelligence to generate images. It's all because of a tool named Dolly, which comes from a startup named OpenAI. You type in a description of something you want to see, and a computer creates realistic images to match. The fun part is you can be really elaborate with your descriptions. The system was trained with 650 million pictures, and the results are some of the best we've seen from computers yet.

Speaker 0: Yeah, AI image generators. There are a number of them out there now, like DALI, Crayon, and Mid Journey. With each 1, you simply type in a text prompt, and it'll create images for you in around a minute. So, for instance, you might type in, let's say, a roast beef superhero. Now, what does that look like?

Is it a superhero made of roast beef? Is it a superhero that saves roast beef? Is it both? I have no idea, but here's what Meat Journey's AI created based on that phrase. And I have to say, well played, robot!

There's the fantastic roast beef superhero logo, the mild-mannered roast beef hero with legs for arms and no lower body, the headless roast beef hero holding a roast beef cane of justice, and the helmet-wearing, America-shaped cut of roast beef that appears to have taken a shit on the floor. All 4 of those images are now my favorite roast beef superheroes. Marvel, if you're watching, there's phase 5 of the MCU right there. It is genuinely fascinating. Not just to see images come to life in seconds, but also to see how AI interprets these prompts.

Poking around on Mid Journey's Discord, you'll discover things like this delightful Frog Bumblebee, or Judi Dench fighting a centaur on the moon, or what the program decided to do when fed the two-word prompt, goose pilates, which is, I think we could all agree, excellent. You could kill an afternoon searching to see what images others have requested, which is what 1 member of our staff, Julia, was doing when she made a fateful decision, because she started putting in the names of various late-night hosts, like James Corden, which brought back 8 search results, including James Corden flies a plane and trail cam footage of James Corden eating teeth. And I know it can be hard to see him do that, but there is 1 where he eats teeth with Paul McCartney, and it's actually very moving. Interestingly, for most hosts, there weren't a ton of results. There were 14 for Conan O'Brien, 8 for Colbert, 3 a piece for Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel.

But here's where things got a little bit weird, because there she put in my name. And would you like to know how many results came back? It's 493. And look, on 1 level, I get it. I get it.

I do have a face that's already basically a boardwalk caricature. I've got what carnival artists refer to as a real softball. But nearly 500 results is a lot. And it's not just the volume, it's the specificity of the props. There's John Oliver in Victorian-era dress.

John Oliver bursting out of a can of Del Monte green beans. John Oliver as an amoeba viewed through a microscope. And John Oliver commanding a horde of elves to charge a potato. All of these deserve to be in the Louvre, and at least 1 of them depicts an actual nightmare that I've had. But there is 1 Mid-Journey user who's gone above and beyond.

A user by the name of Post Poop Zoomies. And look, I won't pretend I loved saying those words, but I think you'll agree that their AI creations are simply mind-blowing. For instance, there's John Oliver as Mona Lisa, which is striking, though I believe may be enough to be prosecuted as a felony in Italy. Then there's John Oliver is a perfect egg, and John Oliver is an egg with a bad attitude, so don't mess with him, or he will do to you what he did to Humpty Dumpty. That's just 1 of many images where post-poop zoomies seemingly try to tell a whole story.

There's also John Oliver at brunch with the girls, and he's laughing because Debbie told a funny joke. Which is remarkable, because that's exactly what I look like when Debbie does that. Or how about John Oliver as a cowboy with a cowboy hat so large, nobody has any respect for him. Which is really amazing, Because I could not tell you what size a cowboy hat has to be to instantly dissolve respect. But that computer was able to calculate the dimensions perfectly.

And honestly, bravo to you, post-poop zoomies. I did have some questions about your process until I found this post from you which read simply, I got high and blasted a million John Olivers. Which definitely tracks. But the true masterpiece on Mid-Journey is a long series of images I like to think of as The Cabbage Saga, created by Post Poop Zoomies and another account, Margaret. The story starts, as all good stories do, humbly, with the image of John Oliver is very confused in a cabbage field.

From there, we move to John Oliver growing cabbages in his apartment, a hobby that evidently takes off for me, given that we then see John Oliver gives a TED Talk on proper cabbage growth techniques. Which to be fair, is still better than this real TED Talk called, How to Tie Your Shoes. Then, things start escalating, because next we see John Oliver throwing a cabbage, and John Oliver throwing a cabbage at a child for some reason, and then in a big plot twist, John Oliver having dinner with a cabbage because he realizes maybe he judged them too soon. That's a subtext that comes out of absolutely nowhere. But it makes much more sense when you see John Oliver looking lovingly at his cabbage, having realized that he's falling in love.

Followed by, does John Oliver love the cabbage? Yes, yes, he does. And from there, it's on to inevitably, John Oliver and the cabbage are getting married. And interestingly, interestingly, it's at this point that the AI, for the very first time, seems to struggle with a prompt, because that seems to be an image of me getting married to myself, and the cabbage somehow being there as a witness. But That's not what this story is about, is it?

And I don't know what this computer is struggling to understand about the very simple concept of a man wanting to marry a cabbage. It's not complicated, computer. This is why we're not letting you drive cars yet. But the story is still not done, and I have to warn you, it takes something of a darker turn. Because the next thing we see is, and this honestly made me gasp out loud, oh no, John Oliver dreamed about being hungry and ate the cabbage in his sleep.

-... Which is absolutely mortifying, and understandably followed by John Oliver crying into half a cabbage. And John Oliver will never be happy again. His heart is broken, but his stomach is full. Which is both tragic and somehow beautiful.

And if you're wondering what I did with the other half of the cabbage. That is made clear by the final prompt, which is simply John Oliver pouring cabbage ashes into the ocean. And what a journey we all just went on. This story is a true testament to life's highs and lows, showing how poetic, lovely, and weirdly full of cabbage life can be. There's really only 1 thing that bothers me about all of this, though, and that is that wedding image.

Because take a closer look at it right now. The A.I. Program nailed all of its other assignments, but this image, the key image in the whole story, the pivot point to the tragedy that follows was somehow beyond its capabilities, which seems like such a shame. This story deserved better. Post-poop Zoomies deserved better, as did Margaret.

We all deserve better, and that's when it hit me. There's really only 1 way to remedy the fact that we were cheated out of that key wedding image, and that is for me to provide it for you now. But not through graphics, no, that would be far too easy. I'm thinking more of a full, vibrant tableau... -...that brings it...

-...that brings it all home. So, please, come with me, because I'm about to marry a fucking cabbage. 00000000000000000000000! ♪♪ ♪♪

Speaker 3: Do you, John, take this cabbage to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health until death do you part?

Speaker 0: I do, Steve. I do. I do.

Speaker 3: And do you promise not to eat it in your sleep?

Speaker 0: I'll try my very best, but I think we both know what might well happen.

Speaker 3: Okay. By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and cabbage.

Speaker 2: You may kiss the cabbage.

Speaker 0: ♪♪ ♪♪

Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, not again! You

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AI Images: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)